Bella's All A Mess
by OhThatGirl
Summary: When Bella's mom commits suicide, she moves back with Charlie. After she discovers Edward's secret, everything seems to be coming together. But now, with a part of her troubled past at the door, she must choose between responsibility and happiness. RxR
1. Saying Goodbye

I watched the sun set low in the sky for the last time. Tomorrow I would be boarding a plane to Forks, Washington. I spend the late hours of the night trying to convince myself that it would all be worth it. I watched the sun set lower in the sky and watched the tears splatter the concrete at my feet. I ignored the tears, glancing up at the moon that had taken place of the brilliant sun.

A low sob crept out of my throat. I stood up, running out of the party. My best friend Amelia had tried to throw me a goodbye party, but I was being a bit of a downer. My friends there included Amelia, Ashlynn, Kennedy, Marcy, Stacy, and Hogan. Hogan had always had a crush on me, I couldn't help that I never returned the feelings. There were more people there, at least fifty, but without a mother to hug goodbye the whole thing lost its purpose.

I traced my way through my mother's garden. She'd always loved this garden, more than she probably did me. The wild rosebushes grew in a frenzy now, having been untrimmed for weeks. I slid around the side of the house, my body constantly bathed in the shadows. I turned, finding the familiar ladder my mom had always kept for me and climbed up to the roof. There, I knocked it onto the ground and let my anguish spill out. My low sobs wracked my entire body, and I felt the shakes from the center of my heart.

_How could you leave me mom? How could you do this? You had a choice! Ashlynn's dad didn't _have_ a choice, and he begged to stay until the very end. How could you choose to leave me? Mom, I loved you! _

I let my feelings flow now, in the safety of being alone. I ignored the calls of Hogan, told him to leave, and cried more as he stayed down there. I heard him find the ladder, and saw him climbing over the railing and sit next to me. We sat there in silence for a long while, me crying and him looking at the moon.

"You know you can always call us, Bella, we're here for you," he said. I looked up and smiled weakly, offering him a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, Hogan. You've been an amazing friend my entire life, I owe you. Thanks for sticking around," he nodded seriously, but I saw a small smile hidden behind his carefully constructed mask. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Tomorrow," I said shakily, taking a deep breath, "First thing in the morning. I'm leaving, Hogan."

He just nodded and sat with me. When I was ready, I went back to the party. My friends looked concerned but said nothing, and for that I was grateful. When the party was over, I hugged them all tightly. They knew I was leaving soon, and I'm sure they'd figured out that it was tomorrow, because Amelia and Stacy had tears in their eyes as they grabbed me, hugging me tighter.

"Be strong, Bella, you're strong," Amelia said, tears brimming over both of our eyes, silently running down our cheeks. I nodded and hugged her again, wondering if I would ever get a chance to see her again. When the house was finally empty, nearly an hour later, I sat down and cried.


	2. Getting along

"Bella!" Charlie called excitedly as I approached him in the terminal. I offered him a small wave, the best thing I could muster. I walked up to him and didn't move as he wrapped his arms around me for a tight hug. He pulled me back, looking me over.

"Bella, you look good," he said, a sad smile creeping into his face. I'm sure he was torn up over this too, I'd never really been told what had happened, but from my teenage snooping years I'd figured out that my mother had left him without warning one day. Charlie had been torn up too, but he didn't do anything like _this_.

I pushed the thought out of my mind, I would not focus on sadness. I'm finally getting a chance to see my father, and my mother is waiting for me back home. I'll be visiting her in a few months, that's all.

I seemed to believe my own words, and as we walked out of the airport, Charlie holding my luggage in both arms, I seemed to feel a relaxing calm settle over me. I welcomed it graciously, what the hell, she promised me she was always going to be there for me. And then, to end it just like that, because of _him. _

Charlie opened the car door and I slid in quietly, staring straight ahead. I heard the click and the sound of luggage dropping heavily in the backseat. The driver's door opened and he sat down, turning the key and pulling out of the airport. The rest of the ride was pretty quiet, Charlie telling me about Forks since I'd been gone, absent from this unfamiliar house for almost six years. After a long while Charlie got bored trying to hold up a conversation and turned the radio on low. The soothing music calmed me, and I was soon lulled into an uneasy sleep.

Charlie woke me later, nudging me gently with his hand before reaching into the backseat to grab my bags. I sat there motionless as he walked into the house, getting up on my own time. When I was finally content enough, I dragged myself into the house reluctantly.

I glanced around, the hallway was powder blue and lasted for about fifteen feet before it opened into a small kitchen. The kitchen had a few cupboards and a tiny kitchen table tucked neatly in the corner. I walked up to my room, calling to Charlie that I just wanted to sleep because I was tired. He seemed to understand, either that or he didn't want to deal with my sadness, and I closed the door quietly behind me.

My room was small also, just enough to fit a bed, a computer in the corner, and a lounge built into a window. I sat there, feeling the cool glass on my back, and watched the cars driving idly down the road. Some glanced at me, but they seemed to already know who I was. I ignored them, Charlie had probably filled them all in on who I was and why I was here. I sat there for two hours, thinking and pondering what I was even doing here.

You need to move, you need to go to the store, I told myself.

I managed to kick myself off the lounge and marching determinedly down the steps.

"Charlie, I need to go to the store," I said.

"Why?" he asked, his expression puzzled. I didn't want to tell him that I had to leave, that I just had to get out of her, I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him that with only being here for three hours I already longed to go back home so bad it almost killed me.

"Feminine items," I replied stupidly. His eyes widened, as though a girl my age wouldn't need feminine items and motioned quickly towards the door.

I was laughing to myself as he ran out the front door, like if I didn't get them now I would die. Die. Death. Such simply words with such horrible meanings. I kicked the thoughts out of my mind, focusing on the constant drizzle on the windshield. Charlie started the car and we were off, heading into town. The drizzle was a calming rhythm, soothing the constant thumping of my heart.

We pulled into the store ten minutes later, Charlie handing me a twenty.

"Is that enough?" He asked unsurely, I laughed and nodded, but the laugh was empty. Hallow, it had no real meaning. I sighed, I was trying at least.

"I've got to run up to the Clearwater's, it's a little ways off, do you to have some time to yourself or do you want to come with me?" He looked at me with worried eyes but I shook my head.

"No Charlie, I think I'll be okay," I said.

"You know if you need anything Bella, just call. I'll be back in about an hour, there's an ice cream store next door, you could go to that when you're done."

He pulled out of the parking lot, tires squealing against the mud. I walked slowly into the store, hearing a ding of the bell as the door swung open wide. I walked to the back aisles, grabbing a box of tampons. Hey, even if I didn't need them now, I would be needing them soon. And it would be hard to explain why I needed to go twice in a week.

I stood at the counter, waiting to check out. I purposely went to the register with the female, I never got over giving a guy a box of tampons. And with both of the kids my age, it seemed a little more than uncomfortable.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" the girl asked me as she rang the box through. She looked me over, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't get away with lying this time. After all, this town was nearly microscopic, it would be a little difficult when she found out that I wasn't who I said I was.

"Yes, but please, call me Bella. That's what everybody back home called me," I whispered. Mom. She called my Bella too, along with Ashlynn and Amelia and Hogan.

The girl interrupted my thoughts with some peppy and upbeat comment. I nodded politely as she took my money, tapping some keys one the machine and giving me my change along with the goods in a small plastic bag.

"My name's Angela, and I'd be happy to show you around tomorrow if you like," she said. Even though I was feeling down I nodded, a bit of hope rising in my chest. If making friends here was going to be this easy, I was in for an easy time.

"Okay, here you go, just meet me here," she handed me a small map, writing her number and drawing an X on a spot on the map. I looked over it, realizing it was a school map, and nodded.

"Great, have an amazing day Bella! Thanks for shopping here!" She called as I attempted a smile in her direction. I walked over to the next building, the ice cream shop. I ordered a small vanilla ice cream in a cup and asked for sprinkles. That was a tradition, no matter what I would keep it alive.

As I sat there gazing out the window I spotted a person out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting a few tables away, and he was looking straight towards me. I'm sure if my heart wasn't broken and dead, that it would have skipped a beat right then. He was tall, pale, although who wasn't here, with bronze hair and amber eyes.

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**why would a vampire be in an ice cream store? well.. im not sure! but im the author and i'm sure you wouldnt want me to remove him from the story.. would you? remember, dear viewers, of what you must do. no matter what, review review review!**

**LOL! (lots of love!)**

**mandy **


	3. Learning

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I stood there, my whole being frozen in place. His long marble hands gripped the table tightly, and he glared at me beneath cold black irises. I tried to find some other place to place my wandering eyes, but I felt pulled to him. I managed a small, tentative smile, and received nothing but a blank stare in return. I squirmed only slightly under his intense stare, mainly because my eyes scanned over his face. For being so angry, I'd never thought it was so possible to be completely and utterly mesmerizing in beauty. His scowl was almost complimentary to his nose, and his bronze hair was slightly damp from the rain outside.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him, suddenly realizing he looked sick to his stomach. Something flashed in his eyes for a moment, and I felt a twinge of fear, but it passed as quickly as it had appeared.

"No," he said through gritted teeth. He stood to leave, throwing a bill on the table at random. He stalked out of the restaurant, but now my temper flared, something rare.

"What did I do?" I managed to squeak. I was going to plan something showy, something ex-girlfriendish, like Who do you think you are? You can't do that to me! But my shyness won out and he turned to me, eyes a blazed.

"Nothing, you did nothing. Now leave, right now. Turn around and walk away unless you want to make the worst decision in your entire human existence," he said, jumping into a silver Volvo at the curb. He turned the key in the ignition, gripping the steering wheel like a life preserver, watching my reaction.

I'm sure I looked a mess. I'd been crying at Charlie's, my hair must have been frizzed to high heaven, carrying a little bag of tampons in my right hand and five dollars for ice cream in the other. My eyes were puffy and my shoulders slumped forward. I wasn't smiling, nor had I been for nearly a three weeks. His eyes changed for half a second, a look of confusion set in on his gorgeous features, but I turned and ran before I could make an even bigger fool out of myself.

I went back into the ice cream store, taking my ice cream and sitting at the same table he'd abandoned just moments before. I glanced out the window at the crisp cool air rustling the trees with the wind. I tried to focus but his head kept popping into my mind. I tried to push him out, but I was still wondering what I could have done when Charlie walked in.

The car ride home was quiet as I watched the trees slowly pass our window. Charlie tried to make conversation with me, and I tried to answer as nicely as possible.

"So, did you like the store?" He asked as we passed a small yellow house surrounded by a wrap-around porch. Two little children were playing in a sandbox on the front lawn, and a young mother was sitting in a rocking chair, a sleeping baby in her arms. I felt my heart lurch, but I pushed it back into place as best I could, but when I responded, my voice was still shaky.

"Yes, it was very nice," I said, but then a thought occurred to me. "Char-Dad?"

"Yes, Bella?" He replied, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. He knew I was upset and I suppose he just didn't want to deal with it right now.

"You know all the people in this town, right?"

"Yes, Bella. All of Forks along with neighboring towns," he said proudly, puffing his chest out ever so slightly. In normal cases, I would have laughed, but now nothing was funny anymore.

"Do you know a boy, bronzy hair, tall and handsome?" I said, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks.

"Handsome? Ridiculously so?" Charlie asked, laughing. I nodded and glanced at my hands, my face burning.

"That's Edward; he's one of the Cullen's. Carlisle is a doctor here, the best in the country probably, and he's married to a woman named Esme. They're young but they adopted all of the children. There are six, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie. Each person in that family is extraordinarily beautiful. They're top students at the high school, and they're all very polite," he said.

"Polite!" I scoffed, "He was downright rude to me!"

Charlie looked puzzled and scratched his head as he thought.

"Maybe he wasn't feeling well. I'm not sure; they're always on their best behavior. All the girls in school swoon over the boys, same for the males to the girls. They're the nicest group of people I think I've ever come across. Maybe you should try to talk to him later."

I nodded my head, hoping this would make him leave me alone. It did. As we pulled into the drive only moments later I leapt out of the car and dashed to my room. I wasn't ready for school to start, I wasn't ready to face all of this and suck it up and deal with it.

How do you just deal with it? How am I supposed to just accept the fact that my mother is gone, I'm in a strange town with equally strange people, not to mention a dad who can barely make a bowl of cereal in the morning. How am I supposed to just get up and go into a school with a bunch of strange kids I don't know, and expect them just to open up and accept me like this? What if I go and nobody likes me, and I end up eating in the bathroom stalls next to a depressed girl who talks about Satan all the time?

Crazy thoughts rushed through my head as I tried to calm myself down. After a few hours I crawled downstairs, slapped something on a plate for Charlie and trudged back upstairs. I sat for a long time, letting my thoughts take control over my entire being.

Right before I fell asleep, a single tear rolled down my cheek.

_What did I do to deserve this? _

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**A:N/ yo yo yo my homies! Sorry my updates are spaced out so badly.**** I rotate between stories and I have a virus on my computer, so whenever I get almost done with a chapter it deletes it. I recommend you read my other story, Learning from Love (: **

**Anyways! You know what you have to do, click the review button please!**

**LOL! (lots of love!)**

**Mandy **


	4. School Days

School was brutal.

Not because people were unfriendly, no, they were the exact opposite. I was pummeled with hugs and rushed from classroom to classroom. A boy named Mike Newton had taken a slightly fearful liking to me, and asked for my number multiple times. I turned him down, but by the end of the day my name was in his contact list. Another thing was the uncomfortable stares, now those I could handle, however. The girls crowding around me, asking me what Arizona was like, sure, that was fine. I even think I answered some obnoxious girl's question on my mom. There was more, though, something that, beneath it all, bothered me the most.

Pity.

It's such a small word, so small that you'd be surprised a person could carry so much contempt for it. Because pity, pity is the worst of all. Pity is the reason people talk to you in the first place, the reason you have to be carried from class to class by concerned students. I'm not a lab rat, I'm not some experiment that failed and now you have to pay the consequences. No, I'm a normal girl. My mom may have killed herself, but that doesn't mean that I deserve to be treated like an object.

I shrugged the students off after a few hours, only Mike still following me around. The rest kept their distance, but I could still feel their stares.

I'd called Angela the night before, but she was sick with a cold and couldn't come to school. It would have been nice to see a face I recognized, but in truth her face was just a blur now in my memory. So instead I came to school, and I now sat at lunch, gazing around the lunchroom.

Hoards of students surrounded me, asking me questions and telling me stories. I glanced around and spotted a group of four students sitting at a table. They made no move to come to me, however their eyes were trained on my troubled face. Their blank stares sent a chill up my spine, and I shivered involuntarily.

They were all inhumanly beautiful. Thin, perfect bodies for the females. One's hair was long and blonde, trailing down her back in a silky rain. The other, shorter girl had short, dark brown hair. It was spiky, and she was probably the only one that could pull off such a look. The males had strong masculine bodies. Together now, they all stood with grace, elegance in every stride as they tossed their tray's contents into the garbage. Then, arm in arm, the two pairs of couples strode out of the building.

I realized then that I'd not been paying attention to anything Jessica had said. She was a student here her whole life, like almost all kids who attended this school. She followed my gaze to the door, now swinging shut, and raised her eyebrows to me.

_What?_ She mouthed to me.

"Who are they?" I asked quietly, although the whole cafeteria was pretty much listening. Realization came to Jessica's face as she glanced at the table across the lunch room.

"Those are the Cullens. They're rich and live in a mansion on the outskirts of town. They all live together. Carlisle and Esme, their 'parents', adopted them all when they were younger. The tall, big guy's name is Emmett, he's with the gorgeous one, Rosalie. She's Jasper's sister, the other guy there. He's very… odd. He's with Alice, the short one with the flipped out hair. There's one more, Edward, he's single. I don't know where he is today, but I wouldn't get your hopes up. They're all insanely gorgeous and don't have the time for any of us."

I nodded, and tried to turn things to more positive conversation. Positive conversation is hard when you're trying to get over the death of your mother, and I struggled to find something of relativity to speak about. I accepted the silence when nothing came to me and let Jessica ramble as I picked at my food on my plate.

After lunch was science, which I found boring since I'd already studied the material. I let the teacher ramble as I scribbled in my notebook. The teachers were pitying me too, and after science the teacher pulled me aside.

"If you're not up for the homework, don't worry about it," he whispered as though he were telling me confidential information. I shrugged.

"What else is there to do around here?" I asked.

He opened his mouth as though by telling me the wonders of the tiny town of Forks I would suddenly light up with excitement and skip out of the room singing showtunes. I imagined it now, the hallways lit up with spotlights, students dancing around with pom-poms like we were in a suddenly horrible High School Musical remake. I put this teacher, who's name had escaped me, in the center. His bald head was shining as he danced across the screen, a top hat in his hands.

The idea was almost enough to make me smile, but as soon as the joy was there it was marred by the reason I was here in the first place. I pushed it out of my mind reflexively, thanking the teacher and leaving, swinging the door shut behind me.

**-

The next few days became repetitive. One routine slipping neatly into another. Every day I looked at the table of the Cullen's, wondering where Edward was. His absence became part of the routine too, as did the puppy eyes of Mike.

I was still dealing with the horrible prospect of my mother's death, and every night became a battle to keep myself sane. My pillow was tear-stained for eternity, and my late night crying was part of the daily chore too. I was comfortable with this new routine. I treasured it, I needed it to lock me down, keep me here.

Feeding Charlie became another priority. Charlie was still horribly inexperienced, and I made it my mission to ensure that he was well fed every night. As a distraction, I spent hours cooking up potatoes, steaks, soups and deserts. Charlie was beginning to jokingly complain that he was going to gain too much weight and not be able to go to work. I didn't mind though, in fact I took pleasure in it.

I was demanding on these constants, the crying, the table of _inhumanly beautiful people_ -minus one-, the tearstained pillow, Mike and his puppy eyes, and ensuring Charlie was the best fed policeman around.

So after all of this, it was a little bit of a shock to walk in to lunch one day to find a new member to the table. His golden eyes sparkled, and his amber hair would make any model green with envy. I felt my heart jump once, for some unclear reason, and saw him smirk at me.

Edward Cullen was back.

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****

A:N/ uhhm, yea. I reposted this because I realized how stupid that was. I'm being stalked, lol, and my mind's very far away right now. Im sorry about the confusion, that was a totally stupid mistake. Lets pretend it didn't happen! Please? For me?

Thanks guys, that's why I adore you.

LOL!

mandy

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	5. Science

I tore my eyes away from his gaze after a moment. I wanted so badly to ask him where he was, but then I suppose it was only a few days, he could have had the flu or just skipped. Maybe he was the bad boy type? I doubted it, based on what Jennifer had told me. Plus, the other major thing: he hated me.

I was sure of this. Why else would he have told me to leave him alone, when I'd done nothing at all to start with?

Lunch was horrible. It seemed to drag on and on, lasting an eternity. Occasionally I would lose the battle with myself and spare a quick glance in his direction. He was angry still, for some unexplained reason, and it showed. His long fingers gripped the table and he spoke to the short girl, Alice, through gritted teeth. When our eyes met, I glanced away blushing, only to find that this angered him more. By the time lunch was over I was shocked to find he hadn't come over to tell me off.

I met Angela in the hallway. Now that she'd come back we'd started to hang out a little at school. She was nice, extremely so, and listened as I complained aloud about Edward. She would nod and sometimes put in a comment or two, and over the past few day's we'd slipped into more comfortable conversation. She talked about school and dances and her job a lot, and swiftly avoided any conversation on my mother. I was grateful, because a lot of people had already made the slip once or twice.

I didn't blame them, really though, because how hard is it to not ask?

_Yea so, I hear your mom killed herself. How'd it happen?_

Not exactly a perfect conversation starter, is it? And what was I supposed to say? Tell them the story? The gruesome, horrible story? I wouldn't tell anybody in this tiny rainy town of Forks. There was enough pity already, my story would most definitely not help.

"So Bella," Angela said, bringing me back to the present, "Do you think you might want to hang out sometime this weekend?" I thought about it a moment before saying yes. After all, she was the nicest one here, and I didn't see why I would have any objection.

"Great! Friday after school I have to work until seven or so, but after work I can swing by and pick you up. Do you want to go to a movie or do you want to just hang at my house?" She asked. I was glad somebody was giving me options. I didn't have a whole lot of options in this town, so I decided that we would stay at her house.

"Let's just have a girls night in thing," I said, and despite everything, I was a little excited. "We can watch movies and cook popcorn and paint toes. I haven't done that since…" I trailed off, my throat closing up. I hadn't done that in a while. Not since my mom. She patted my back, but changed subjects quickly.

"Actually, you know what?" She said, sparing me of having to change my mind. "Why don't we go see a movie instead? I hear there's this really good romance film coming out, we can see that if you want."

"Yea, you know, that's a good idea. Friday?" I asked, just to be sure. "Okay, well here's my stop. See you later on," I called to her as I turned down the corridor. She smiled, turning to talk to Tyler, whom had walked up beside her. I continued down the corridor, crowded with students, until I reached the science lab.

I was shocked to see Edward sitting in the classroom. More so, I was shocked to see him sitting right next to me! I thought I'd had the only open desk, but apparently I was mistaken. As I took my seat slowly, I pulled my chair to the other side of the desk, giving him as much space as possible. I eyed him suspiciously, and he glanced at me for half a second before turning toward the window.

I was still thoroughly confused as to why he didn't like me. But as I sat there, dumbfounded, a piece of paper fluttered into my lap. I opened the letter slowly, afraid something might pop out at me and scream 'BOO!'. When I looked at the letter I was shocked to see the simplicity of the note. Elegant, swirled script read:

_I'm sorry about this. You wouldn't understand._

Angered, I scribbled a response of my own, with lots of words to express how I really felt. Hot, angry words flowed from me into the page, his beautiful script marred by my sloppy lettering. When I was done, nearly a page later, I did exactly what he expected me not to. I stood, calmly, and walked to the garbage can. He turned slowly, a look of confusion on his face. I took the letter, ripping it to bits little by little, all the while his eyes locked with mine. Then, with a smug satisfaction, threw the contents into the garbage can. I walked back to my desk slowly, sitting next to him as he stared at me. He looked mad again, but I didn't care. I half-smiled, my eyes locked with his.

"You wouldn't understand."

His mouth opened a little, but I ignored him, which, may I say, was hard to do. By the time the bell had rung for the start of class, I was itching to apologize, tell him what I'd written on the note. Just as I was about to open my mouth, the teacher walked in, silencing us.

Science continued, the tension thick in the air. He went back to ignoring me, hands gripping his chair tightly. Knuckles white, he looked like, if given the chance, he would rip off my head. Edward had turned slowly through the boring lecture, so slowly I hadn't even noticed. Now he faced straight ahead. I glanced at the clock, less than a minute left to class.

"When you want to be nice to me, you can say something. Until then, don't try to make this better with ridiculous notes," I said, gathering my books, refusing to meet his gaze. The bell rang and I stumbled out of class quickly, running straight into Mike Newton in the hallway.

"Bella Bella! Watch where you're walking girl," Mike said, laughing. I mumbled an apology and started to walk away, but he caught my arm.

"In a week or so we're going to La Push for a party, just some of us, you know. Do you think you'd want to come too? I think Angela's coming, and Jessica," he offered.

"Uhm," I thought. I couldn't think of a way to get out of it, and it didn't seem like it would be harmful. "Sure, sounds like fun. Look, I have to go right now, I'm going to the bookstore. I'll see you tomorrow," I said, waving goodbye as I continued out the doors.

I walked out to my truck, the welcome home present from Charlie. Old, red and rusted, it was possibly the best present I'd ever gotten. My mind wandered, and for once I realized I hadn't thought of my mom at all that day. I was getting better, I realized suddenly, at pushing it out of my mind. Buried deep in the corners of my brain, the thoughts would explode one day, but for now I could hold them in.

**-

When I got home I took my backpack up to my room. Dumping its contents onto the bed, I didn't miss the folded piece of paper that tumbled onto the bedspread.

Had it not had my name on it I would have passed it off as notes. But the elegant, swirled lines of my name were so beautiful I had to open the letter. I knew it was from Edward, but when had he given it to me? The only time I could think of was science, but I'd only taken my eyes of Edward and my books for a half second, which wasn't nearly enough time to write a note, was it?

I shrugged, opening the note. My mouth dropped as I read:

.

_Bella,_

_You told me not to make this better with notes, and here I go again. Well, maybe not. If I can't make it better with notes, why don't you call me? I'm no good for you, don't get me wrong, however I'd love a chance to explain myself. _

_Edward_

.

At the bottom, written clearly and perfectly, was his number.

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**A:N/ soo, do you think she'll call or not? I already know, duh, but I'd love to hear your guess! Thanks for all your support so far, I love you guys! **

**LOL!**

**mandy**


	6. Mystery

I looked at the paper for a second, debating.

Wasn't there a 24 hour rule about calling somebody? Or did that only apply to guys when they liked a girl? Or was I completely and totally confused? Why should I even call him? I mean, hey, in all reality we weren't even friends. Although my mom always told me not to judge a book by its cover.

Maybe one little phone call wouldn't hurt….

I went to my window and leaned out, breathing in the fresh air. I glanced at the note in my hands, his number written clearly and perfectly at the bottom.

I was debating with myself when the wind picked up. Swirling the trees forcefully, my note was yanked from my hands. I watched it flutter to the ground, then be lifted again into the churning wind. I watched as it was carried away, my body frozen in surprise.

Only I could be so careless as to lose somebody's number by it falling out the window. I sighed, closing the window and turned to my bed, deciding which homework I would start first.

--

The next day at school was hard. Not because I'd lost the note, but because memories of my mother were flashed into my head over and over. Whenever I thought I might be able to smile, an image of my mother in the garden would pop into mind. After these memories plagued my mind, I would sit for an hour or so. Lost, scared, and confused. Why couldn't she just come back? Why did she have to… end it all, like that?

I was still sulking as I walked into Science.

I'd been quiet all lunch, and only glanced up once to see Edward's gaze on mine. He'd cocked his head to the side, his eyes questioning. Instead of holding his gaze, or just staring dumbfounded, I had put my head in my arms again. Ignoring Edward Cullen must have been a first for the tiny town of Forks, because when Jessica told me the lovely news that he was motioning to her, she scurried over quickly, blushing and gushing to him about her day.

A few moments later, sulking, she nudged my arm a little too forcefully.

"Eddie Cullen wants you," she'd said to me. "He wants you to go talk to him."

I'm not sure what look I must have given him when I looked up to meet his gaze, but he saw something in it that made him recoil. It was probably the fact that my eyes were swollen, red and puffy. Anguish is hard to hide on bad days, and I was doing an awful job today. Without getting up or making any move in his direction I put my head back on the table with an audible thud.

Now, however, when I walked into Science, I saw Edward looking at me again. His hands were still gripping his chair tightly, but he was actually _smiling_ at me. Maybe, if it had been a good day, things may have gone differently. My heart may have sped up; my palms could have started to sweat, but today was a bad day, and I was in no mood for smiles. I trudged to my seat next to him, putting my head in my hands and fanning my hair out across the table. I felt him stiffen for some reason, but relaxed slowly as the bell rang.

"You didn't call me yesterday," he said, some edge in his voice. Hurt? I wasn't sure, and I didn't feel like answering him.

"I lost your note," I whispered quietly to myself.

"Lost my note? How did you manage that?" He asked, obviously enjoying himself. I sighed, head still lying against the cool table, eyes closed.

How had he heard me? I wondered. Surely I hadn't spoken _that_ loudly. I decided to test it. I turned my head away from him, feeling him stiffen again for some strange reason.

"Fell out a window," I mumbled softly.

"A window?" He exclaimed laughing. I turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

"How did you just hear me? And yes, a window. It flew out with the wind."

He watched me for a second, eyes going wide before quickly being covered by a serene mask. I put my head back on my desk, and when the teacher came by Edward explained I was in a bad phase. The teacher nodded and put a hand on my shoulder sympathetically before strolling down the aisle to the next student.

I mumbled a thanks, pretty sure that he could hear it, before another memory flashed into my mind.

_It was sunny day. _How cliché is that? My mind interrupted for a moment.

_We were at a hotel for an important business meeting, but this was her day off. It was hot and I was thirsty. Only five years old, I was forced to the kiddy pool. Swimmies on my arms weren't to torture, but to ensure I stayed safe. Back when my mother's smile, warm and loving, watched me from a white beach chair stationed next to the towel basket. Swimming in the water was like a dream, even though I could just touch the floor if I tried hard enough. I pushed the water with my fingers, flicked a stray bug and kicked my little toes. Slowly I remembered my mom's directions, somehow managing to focus enough to drift to the surface. Relaxation was key, staying calm was essential. My body drifted in that tiny pool for three long minutes. _

"_Mama!" My tiny shrill voice rang excitedly. "I can float! I'm doing it mama!" _

_My excitement caused my legs to kick gleefully, pulling my torso back under the water. Mama got up though, and asked if I could show her again. I tried, but my body was tense and unwilling. She laughed then, reaching into the pool to hold my body afloat. _

"_Look at that my sweet little Bella!" She shrieked in excitement. "You _are_ floating!" _

_After a few minutes I was tired. Body limp, she lifted my soaking frame into her arms, walking over to the towel rack and wrapping it around me gently. _

"_Mama, I'm thirsty," I said, grabbing my throat with my tiny hands. I'd never called her mommy, not since I'd seen an Italian movie when I was four. She laughed and nodded, grabbing her purse from the white beach chair and walking with me in her arms to the concession stand. _

_Instead of a soda, though, she surprised me with ice cream. A small vanilla cup with sprinkles. _

_We sat at a picnic table, each with a baby spoon, and dug into the tiny ice cream cup. The sun was beginning to set over the horizon, but we continued to eat anyways. When it was done, she took me in her arms again, carrying me up to the hotel room. She took me into the bathroom and helped me change my clothes, slipping me into some pajamas. _

"_Go to sleep my little princess," She said, curling up next to me. She kissed my forehead gently. _

"_I love you mama," I said to her, yawning. _

"_I love you too, my Bella. Sleep now darling," She whispered as I closed my eyes for night. _

"Bella? Bella! Are you okay?" A hushed voice asked. I felt my heart skip a beat, wanting whoever was talking to me to shut up. Somebody was making the most awful noise, and I was completely annoyed with them.

Moments like that I treasured. My mother was happy, she loved me. I loved her. Such simple times for such simple ages. Why did I have to get older? Why did she? Why couldn't we have just frozen in that time period, stuck like that forever? Really, eternal happiness didn't seem that bad.

I opened my eyes weakly, realizing that I'd been crying. I looked around embarrassed; checking to make sure nobody had seen me. My desk was wet with tears, and I quickly wiped them away with my sleeve.

"Bella?" The voice asked me again, cautiously now. I turned towards the sound, seeing Edward's face next to me. His features were no longer angry, they were worried. He reached a hand out to me but closed it into a fist, pulling it back.

I don't know what came over me, but I was so overwhelmed with grief I think it was generally a bad time for me. I locked eyes with his for a moment, and realized that I needed to talk to somebody. I threw my arms around his shoulders tightly, burying my face in his chest. I felt him stiffen, and felt the urge to pull back, but I quickly pushed it out of my mind. A tiny sob escaped my throat, and I felt him relax a little.

"Edward!" I whispered, anguished. "Why can't I just forget?"

I realized then, how bone chillingly cold he was. I felt myself shiver involuntarily and before I realized it we were sitting apart again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, staring at my hands. "I don't know why I did that. It's just… I don't know. Sorry." I wiped the tears from my eyes, fresh ones on the brink of collapsing. Just like me.

"Don't be," I heard him whisper before raising his hand. The teacher strolled down the aisle, glancing at me for a second before nodding to Edward.

"Come," Edward said, but I shook my head.

"I can do this Edward," I said, maybe a little harshly.

I heard him chuckle as I was lifted off my feet into his arms. He was wearing a sweater, and I didn't feel cold through the thick material. He carried me closely, but that was probably because he didn't want to give his arms any extra weight. I held as still as possible, not wanting to add any more pressure to his arms as he carried me to the office.

He set me down beside him, and I realized then just how tired I really was. My eyes fluttered to stay open as I heard Edward whispering to the secretary.

"Excuse me, but Bella is feeling very sad today. Do you think it possible that she be excused for the rest of the day?" He asked, his voice like melting honey. The secretary stumbled, fluttering her papers around her desk.

"Of course! And will you need to be excused today as well?" She asked, attempting to make her voice sound… I wasn't sure, but it was _not _professional.

"Yes, I will thank you," Edward said, chuckling as he looked down at me.

"Bella you mustn't be upset," he mumbled, absently reaching a hand to my face to smooth out the crease between my eyebrows. I felt an electrical shock when his cool skin brushed with mine, and felt a blush creep into my cheeks. He stiffened, but otherwise smiled as he received the pass to be excused.

"I was thinking," I mumbled, twisting my hands together. His eyes burned deep into mine, searching for me to continue. He opened his mouth to say something when the secretary interrupted him.

"Thank you Edward!" The secretary gushed as he reached to grab the pass. "Will you be back again by tomorrow?"

I realized then what it was she was doing. The secretary of the school, a middle aged woman, was flirting with Edward! This caused me to laugh hysterically, and Edward must have sensed why I was laughing because he quickly joined in. He winked at me and turned to the woman, offering his most dazzling smile.

"I believe so. However, may I be excused then also if Bella doesn't show up?" He asked, but the wording brought a frown to his face for some reason. Without realizing it, I'd reached a hand up to touch his face, feeling that shock again as our skin touched. He looked down at me and I prompted him to continue.

"Oh of course! Yes.. Let me see…" She trailed off, dishing him another pass for tomorrow. He nodded and said thank you, trying not to laugh.

I guess the people in the office were watching Edward more than me, so they were shocked to see him turn to me. I wiped the remaining tears out of my eyes as he watched me.

"Are you okay to walk?" He asked carefully. I nodded and took a step, stumbling to the floor. He caught me with gentle hands, laughing.

I was lifted into his arms in mere seconds, wondering how he'd managed to catch me so quickly. However, I was too tired to ask questions as he asked the secretary to open the door, muttering about clumsy tired depressed girls. She laughed and I felt like punching her, but I was too tired to aim carefully and my clumsy shot went backwards, smacking Edward in the chest.

I felt how hard his chest was in that instant, how inhumanly rock solid it was under my flexed hand. I let out a gasp of pain and gripped my hand tightly as he carried me to the car.

"Bella!" He exclaimed, looking at my hand carefully now as we sat in the car. "It's probably just a bruise; we'll go back to Charlie's and get some ice."

I looked at him in astonishment, glancing from my hand to his spectacular face.

"How did you… How did I…?" I tried to ask, the pain awakening me once again as we drove down the street. I glanced outside now, gasping at the scenery flying by. I'd never gone this fast in my life. I shrieked, terrified, and he looked at me in worry.

"Are you hurting Bella? I'm sorry," He muttered, angry at himself for some reason. I realized then that he wasn't watching the road and felt my eyes widen.

"Watch the road! Edward, watch the road! We're going to crash!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. Not very mature, I will admit now, but the deadly speed was enough without him not even watching the road.

"Relax Bella, this is nothing to me. You should see me…" He trailed off, staring at me as if he'd said too much.

"See you what?" I prompted him, but he shook his head. He smiled dazzlingly at me, glancing back at my hand.

"How's that hand?" He said quickly, eager for a change in subjects.

"I know what you are," I mumbled, looking at my hands so I didn't have to look outside. He turned to me, lifting my chin with his hands, staring at my eyes seriously.

"Do you?" He asked seriously, his voice low and reminding me of silk. I felt my heart rate speed up, but his eyes locked with mine, kept them in place. I nodded for a second, but he wouldn't let me go. I felt scared because what I wanted to say really wasn't that serious, but trudged on anyways.

"You're a player, aren't you?" I asked quietly, closing my eyes.

It was quiet for a minute, and when I opened them I saw him shaking with laughter. His hand was still under my chin, and his cool fingertips reached up to brush the hair away from my face.

"Bella!" He said between gasps for air, "Is that all? Goodness Bella I'd have thought you would be smarter than that!"

I felt my face flush a deep scarlet, realizing we'd turned into my driveway.

"Well you're avoiding my question," I mumbled, risking a look outside. I let out a whoosh of air as I saw the scenery was securely in place.

"Bella," He said, his hand lingering on my face for a moment before pulling back slowly. "I can assure you, I am extremely careful with whom I fall for. And you are the first one that I've ever felt anything for."

I felt my heart rate speed up, and turned my face away to hide my smile. I didn't realize what I'd felt for Edward, and now I was sure that I felt something for him too.

"Really?" I asked, my voice in a whisper.

"Truly. Now Bella, why don't we get you inside and ice that hand?" He said, stepping out of the car. He came around to my side, opening the door in a truly gentlemanly fashion. I stepped out, stretching before walking up to the house and grabbing the key from under the mat.

"Don't tell anybody," I said sarcastically, "Because hiding your key under the mat is a top secret thing that only my family knows. If you tell somebody might be able to find it!"

He laughed as I turned the key, stepping into the house carefully.

"Would you like a tour? It's not very much, but I like it," I said as he watched me. I turned to the mirror, wondering if there was something on my face.

"Why don't we get your hand iced up first?" He said, leading the way into the kitchen to grab some ice. He reached into the drawer to pull out a bag and froze, turning at my surprised expression.

"What?" He asked carefully, staring at the bag and then at me.

"How did you know that was there?" I wondered aloud as he clenched his fist tightly.

"Lucky guess?" He tried, sighing as I shook my head violently.

"I could tell you, I suppose, that I'd been in this house before. But then I suppose that you could just ask Charlie and he would tell you that's not true. Again, I could try that I'm a burglar, and I broke into this house before, but you could just ask Charlie if he'd been robbed. So let's just go with I'm a very, very bad boy," He said, flashing me a smile that scared me stiff, although I didn't show it.

"No…I don't think you're bad," I said quietly, walking next to him and taking the bag. He shook his head fiercely but I smiled, filling the bag with ice.

"I'm no good for you, Bella," he whispered. He seemed angry at himself for some reason.

"I don't care," I said, placing the bag on my hand and following him to the living room. He sat at one end of the couch, I sat at the other. A cushion separated us, but we faced each other, staring into each other's eyes.

"You should, and I'm going to make certain that you realize it."

I laughed then, and he stared at me, tilting his head to the side.

"You sound like you're trying to convince me that you're on a mission to convince me that you're the worst person in the world!" I exclaimed, laughing. He smiled then, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Bella, you confuse me sometimes. You're so hard to read, but don't worry, I like it. Even though I probably shouldn't," He mumbled, probably supposing I wouldn't hear it. I smiled then and played with the ice, melting under my warm skin. The pain was going down now, as was the swelling, and I remembered how I got the pain in the first place.

Edward, hearing my whispers.

Carrying me with such ease

Catching me so quickly

His rock hard skin

His old fashioned demeanor

Saying he was bad, when he wasn't.

One thing I was positive: Edward was hiding something.

And I was going to find out what it was.

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**A:N// yayy, a chapter made it up this week! I know you guys are reading this, i have that power -taps computer screen that tells about alerts- if you can alert my story do you think maybe you could also review? hehe, reviews inspire me. thanks guys, enjoy the extra long chapter! (at least i hope its long!)**

**LOL! **

**mandy**


	7. Just a Note

**A:N/ hey guys, I'm so sorry for not updating lately. My sister hogs the computer literally every second I'm home and whenever I try to write I get a brain block. So tell me, is this story worth continuing? I don't know if you guys are all that interested, and I'm having a hard time trying to get my fingers to type out the words. **

**My friend's going through some stuff since her mom got diagnosed with cancer, and i've been busy with that too. And i have testing Saturday morning at like six until noon, and I've been test prepping for that, not to mention trying to raise my grade in math from a C to an A, but that's about all i have on the 'lame excuse' list**

**Just let me know, and no hard feelings if you think I should drop the story! Thanks you guys,**

**Mandy.**


	8. Telling it All

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**A:N/ **_Thank you all sooo much. It's so hard when you feel stressed and I don't like to let you guys down by not updating, so I've been working for about two hours and managed to get this together. I'm exhausted, so sorry if there are any mistakes! _

_ I figure I need one last really sad chapter before I get into the happier chapters, and just to warn you that I'm rating this chapter T for violence. I'll warn you when it's coming up and I'll post a summary at the end. Sound like a plan? _

_Hooray!_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, Stephenie owns all. Haaha (:_

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I twiddled my fingers together, glancing around at the room.

"You should keep that bag of ice on your hand," he muttered quietly, grabbing the bag and throwing it to me gracefully. My clumsy hands slipped on the condensation from the exterior of the bag, and I watched as it slid between my fingers toward the floor. Edward was there, though, impossibly quick once more, his hand gently clutching the bag. He glanced at me with weary eyes while muttering under his breath too quickly for me to catch a word he was saying. Slowly he placed the bag on my hand. His eyes became joking, clearly trying to switch the subject and genuinely happy at my embarrassment.

"Your face is red," he pointed out, an amused smile on his face.

"Yea, well whatever," I managed to splutter out. I felt my face grow another shade of red before I shot back my retort. "Why are you still here? You dropped me off, I'm home and I'm not going to freeze to death over this bag of ice, so I'd have assumed you would have left by now."

In truth, it must have been my being upset that caused me to speak so bluntly to him. He didn't seem to mind though, a small but heartbreaking smile on his face as his eyes searched mine for something he couldn't find. I felt my heart stutter as he leaned in closer, his eyes burning in mine with a strange intensity.

"You're upset Bella," He said softly, his sweet breath blowing into my face. I felt my face flush with embarrassment once more as I felt my heart pick up in my chest. He smiled then, leaning back and spreading his arms open in a symbol that reminded me strangely of a saint.

"So, spill your soul to me. I'm all ears," he said, smiling broadly. For all he was worth, I honestly felt that I could pour my thoughts to him. I imagined sitting here on the couch talking to him for hours. Crying, laughing and smiling as the clocked tolled aimlessly, knocking another hour pitifully off my life. Something told me I should listen to him and tell him everything. But another part of me, the dark, penetrating part that reached deep into my soul searching for nothing yet destroying every last part of my happiness, told me to keep my mouth shut. I obeyed this part, shaking my head slowly.

I saw a frown creep into his gorgeous features, silently belittling myself for bothering somebody who would take the time to talk to somebody as depressing as me. In a town like Forks I was destined to be the center of attention, but with Edward I felt like the interest wasn't just a false pretense. When he wasn't getting mad and telling me to leave him alone forever, he was genuinely a nice person. I laughed to myself at that, shaking my head slowly. I think I might have laughed more today than any time since she killed herself.

Realizing that I'd reopened the wound, I clutched at my chest frantically, trying futilely to sew it back together before the pain came. I squeezed my eyes tight against each other, trying to slam out the world. I was distantly aware of Edward's silky voice, filled with concern as he called my name. I waited, bracing myself for the shock that, yet again, my mother had died. I felt myself being lifted into Edward's arms, felt my body moving back and forth as he rocked me. I heard him shushing me, telling me not to cry.

I waited, taking all of it in. Then I opened my eyes, my brown, tearless eyes to look at his face. He slowed his rocking, brushing my hair behind my ear. I was aware of his cool skin, but it didn't faze me.

"Where's the pain?" I asked, confusion highly evident in my voice. I was aware I sounded like a four year old asking for a toy, but I didn't really mind. I was so accustomed to the wall of pain, irreversibly shattering a hole in the space my heart should be every time I thought of her dead, lifeless body.

He glanced at me, nearly as confused as I was. He didn't answer, just rocked me slowly and brushed my hair. I sat in his arms for a while longer, trying to decide why I was_ happy_. It felt so wrong to be enjoying myself after all this time. Not to mention, enjoying myself with such a strange person. I shook my head again, trying to knock all thoughts out of my head. I'd nearly forgotten about Edward, although I was curled in his arms. He glanced down at me, stunning me with just a smile.

"Bella," He said, a cautious frown on his face. He seemed to do that a lot, I noticed, and I wondered vaguely what I'd done when he continued. "What are you thinking? I would really enjoy if you told me."

"Her," I said quietly. I braced for the pain again, and I felt a tear trickle down my face. But the hole was shrinking, I felt it healing at the edges. The thought of her didn't stab me with regret, and I found I could survive.

"Would you wish to talk about it?" He said cautiously, opening the door for the conversation I'd been dreading since she died. I'd wondered, late at night, who I would tell. I knew I wasn't going to tell my sob story to every last person, because not all people would approve of a bawling teenager crying on their shoulder. When the pain had gripped me and consumed all emotion, I'd wondered who was going to be there to patch it up. I still didn't know who that person was, but I knew I could trust Edward. I could tell him everything and I knew he would understand. And if he didn't understand, I knew he would at least try.

"Well," I said, my voice rough from closing in on itself. I shifted my body to move but his arms tightened around me, shifting me so I was more conveniently sitting in his lap.

"Forgive me, but you don't have to go if you don't want to," he said, throwing me a dazzling smile that almost stunned me. The best I could do was nod my head, resting my head on his shoulder. He gazed down at me, motioning for me to continue.

"It's a long, complicated story, so if you get bored don't think I'll be offended," I offered, but he was already shaking his head. I knew he didn't want to press me into telling, but I wanted to get it out into the open, and now was the perfect opportunity.

"Well, my mom was my best friend. She was wild and laughing and eccentric. She didn't think much before she did anything, and it usually wound up in us doing risky things that most parents wouldn't let their kids dream of. I always had to watch her, ever since I was about seven and she decided it would be fun to go skydiving. When I was thirteen and starting to develop crushes on guys she took me to the beach. The goal was to find me a 'dream boy', but I was never interested in any of them. My mother was always very beautiful, so beautiful she had almost every man in town chasing after her. She always rejected them politely, but this day was different.

"I was floating on a raft trying to get a tan. I'm very pale and tanning is basically pointless, but I liked to do it anyways. Well, I was tanning and I look up to see my mother flirting with this man on the beach. He was thirty-five then. Tall, strong, good looking…She fell in love with him the moment she laid eyes on him. He was nice too, and very funny. I pulled in my raft and jogged up the beach, asking her if I could borrow a twenty for some ice cream and a slice of pizza. She barely even paid me any attention when she threw the bill at me. He introduced himself as Scott. 'Scott Williamson is my name, don't wear it out'. She laughed like he was the funniest thing ever, I tried not to roll my eyes.

"After that they were basically inseparable. They never looked away from each other unless I begged for attention, and soon after they were talking marriage. Personally, I didn't think it was smart to get so serious after only a few weeks, but my mom wouldn't listen. She was happy, elated is a more fitting word actually. I got to do whatever I wanted, and during the next few months I was ignored by Scott and Renee almost completely. I didn't mind though," I said, seeing the irritated look on Edward's face. He bent his head down and offered me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to upset you. Please continue. Really, your story is intriguing to me." He smiled at me then, and I felt my heart stutter for an unexplainable reason as I continued.

"Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, I was being ignored by Scott and Renee. But she was happy, so I was happy for her. It was lonely sometimes, but after another year she took on mom duty again, cleaning and cooking meals for us every night. I was about fourteen by now, and I was invited into more conversations with them. For the next few months everything was great. Scott had moved in, but they'd never married, not that either cared that much anyways.

"Mom was pressuring me to date, but I didn't feel like it at the time and I said no. She got mad for some reason then, and accused me of things that I'd rather not hear. Something was wrong, and she got mad more and more often. Scott was noticing it too, but he hung around, trying to make it work. I give him a lot of credit now, thinking about it. She wouldn't go to a doctor, and by the time I was 15 ½ she announced she was pregnant. Things seemed to get better, and we thought maybe her anger and sadness was because she was pregnant. We decided to name the baby Annabel if it was a girl and Scott if it was a boy. Things got better for a few months, but then Scott got the call."

I paused now, bracing myself internally for the hardest part of the story. Telling about the baby was simple enough if I didn't try to think about it too much, and I clutched my arms around Edwards neck tightly. I felt a pressure on my hair as he tried to soothe me. Was it his lips? I didn't want to move, but I knew I had to tell the hardest story, the most gruesome story, the one that haunted my dreams every night.

"Well, Scott got a call from work that he had to transfer to Maine. He didn't want to go, but he was a business man and he had to do what he was told. My mom couldn't take it, she honestly couldn't. For days she walked around the house, mumbling some weird song: 'Baby's daddy gon' be leavin' soon.'

"She was scaring me, and I spent the next few days in my room just listening to her chanting downstairs. I could hear her pacing back and forth, throwing something against the wall. I called the doctor, told him to come. I thought she was going crazy, but he told me not to worry and that she'd be fine after a few days.

"Well, she wasn't fine in a few days, and I called him again. He told me that he couldn't come because I wasn't an adult, so I called Scott and told him to come over. He was supposed to be leaving in a few days and had been doing work at the office for three days straight. He hadn't even known what was happening.

"He came in and I snuck him into the living room. I watched her pacing the kitchen, throwing a knife at the wall. I was horrified when I saw the gaping hole in the wall from where the knife had struck the wall. She was pale and fragile looking, her hair greasy and her clothes dirty. I'd been avoiding her, and I hadn't known she'd been repeating the same lyrics and throwing the knife over and over and over again.

"Scott took my arm, his eyes were nearly as wide as mine. We both glanced at her stomach, bulging just the slightest with the tiny baby inside. She'd been lucky, in eight months of her pregnancy she'd barely swollen. The doctor had told her it was normal, and no cause for concern, but suddenly I knew something even more harmful to the baby then a cramped room. My own mother was a hazard to Annabel. He motioned for us to run, to just get out, but I shook my head. 'We can't help the baby!' He'd whispered to me, yanking on my arm. I wouldn't move, I had to save the baby somehow. 'We'll come back, we'll bring doctors!' He was panicked now, shouting whatever he thought would get me to move. I couldn't do that to the baby though, and I was so scared. I wanted my mom, the mom who'd held me when I was five and laughed at my sixth birthday party. I wanted the woman who'd flirted so carelessly with the man who taught her to love again. The man who's baby she had right in her stomach.

"He tried to pull me again, and I rustled a paper on the floor. She seemed to break out of her trance, but I was so frozen I couldn't even speak as she turned slowly towards me. This woman wasn't my mother anymore, she was some thing that had taken over the light that used to be the most amazing person I'd ever known. She smiled a sick, twisted smile at me. I still remember her words, 'No more daddy no more baby!'. She laughed the most disturbing laugh ever, and I pleaded to her. 'Mommy! Mommy I'm your baby!'. But no, she didn't care, she just laughed that same, cruel laugh.

**_Violence starts now. Check Author note at bottom for summary if you are sensitive to any violence (:_ **

"Before I knew what was happening she plunged the knife right into her stomach," I said, my voice turning into a low moan as I clutched onto Edward's neck. He gasped, although I was fairly certain he'd known what was coming. Nonetheless, his face so close to mine, whispering sincere apologies, was enough for me to continue.

"She screamed, but she didn't care. She did it again, she stabbed herself almost twelve times. She was on the floor, blood all around her when she looked up at me. 'Sorry' was all she'd said to me before she died, and it was filled with sarcasm.

"I was frozen with fear and disgust. This thing had just taken over my mother's life and killed her. Scott was disturbed, I could tell, because he took the knife and started chopping at my mother's stomach.

"I screamed, lunging at him. I beat him with my fist until I was raving mad, but he just threw me off of him. 'We need to save the baby, Bella'. He turned away from me and decided to take his time playing doctor, and I spent the next ten minutes puking on the ceramic tile floor. I was strangely relieved when I heard the baby's muffled cries, and turned to see the shining face of my idolized sister Annabel.

"Scott apologized, and I realized he was as disgusted as I was. We'd both thrown up, and I realized what it must have taken for him to cut up the woman he'd so strongly loved. 'Your mother, your real mother, would have wanted this' he'd said, and I remember the tears running down his face. I held Annabel as she cried, feeling as though I stole something from what was rightfully my mother's duty. I'd taken on the parental responsibility after my mother had stabbed herself to death."

**_VIOLENCE OVER!_ **

I looked up into Edward's face. It was horrified, and I felt tears well up in my eyes once more as I thought about the baby and my mother. He bent down slowly and kissed away every tear that fell, holding me close as he muttered more profuse apologies. After an hour I'd calmed myself, and a new wave hit me. It was strange, and it took me a minute to realize that it was acceptance. I smiled slightly to myself, feeling the hole in my heart close up ever so slightly.

"If you don't mind my asking," Edward asked after a while of comfortable silence. He seemed cautious, as though he didn't want to continue. "What ever happened to your sister?"

I realized why he was worried, probably for fear that she'd died, and felt a tiny unexplainable laugh bubble up to my lips.

"She's not dead," I said. Edward's face was filled with relief for my sibling he'd never met. "Annabel lives with Scott in Maine. After my mom killed herself, Scott was a mess. He offered to give me visitation rights, but as her parent he got to keep her. Scott's still a mess, but he cut back on his job now to support her. She's nearly two months old, and I haven't seen her in six weeks at least."

Edward smiled for some reason to himself, and I was about to ask him when he stiffened suddenly. I felt myself tense with him, looking up into his eyes for some sort of explanation.

"It appears as though Charlie is home," Edward said, repositioning me so I was sitting on the couch. "Maybe I should go."

I felt myself stiffen and shook my head violently. "Edward no," I begged, "If you want to go you can, but you don't have to leave. Stay."

He smiled, "Well, then I guess I'll have to at least explain why I'm here. We'll go with the 'Bella's feeling down so I came to listen to her sob story' route."

Before I could protest he'd bent down and skimmed him fingers from my forehead to my chin. It left a tingling sensation from where he'd touched me, and before I could speak again he'd walked outside.

Moments later he and Charlie were walking back in the house. I'd expected Charlie to be grim, somber, mad even, but he was laughing. Actually laughing! Edward was smiling too and I frowned, wondering what they'd said about me.

Charlie walked into the kitchen and I heard him ordering pizza as Edward reclaimed his spot next to me. We kept a safe distance away, however, and I missed the contact of his cool skin. I glanced at him, wondering what they'd said that they would come in laughing.

"Bella," Edward said laughing as he saw my puzzled and annoyed expression, "We weren't saying a thing about you. Honestly, I was telling him a story."

I giggled then, feeling my face flush from embarrassment and realizing once more how tired I really was. When Charlie came in to turn on the TV and started a conversation on football with Edward, I felt unconsciousness calling for me. Without realizing, Edward's arm had found its way around me and I curled my body into his. I heard disapproval in both Edward and Charlie's voices, but I needed stability. Had it been Charlie, I'd have probably done the same thing. But I heard something else too, another emotion hidden craftily behind Edward's disapproving façade. And it took me a moment, right before I allowed sleep to take me, that I realized it was joy.

* * *

**A:N/ summary: **_Bella's mom snapped in her head and tried to kill her baby. In the midst of it, she took her own life too. Scott tried to save the baby because he knew it would be what Renee wanted, the 'real Renee'. _

_I figured I'd set the base for happiness in the next few chapters. This is the outline for the next few chapters: _

_Happy _

_Suspicion and Meetings _

_Puzzle pieces_

_Keep in mind that the story is subject to change, (it is me here, after all). I'm terribly sorry about how sad this chapter is, but I'd been keeping it in for so long the sadness just built up. As you see though, the next chapter is gonna be what? HAPPY! Lol, so just hold on! _

_Thanks to all my lovely reviewers, you mean so much to me. You guys give me the strength to carry on when I've got writers block! So thank you! _

**REVIEWS + ME + YOU = FASTER CHAPTERS!!!**


	9. Dreams

**dont be mad my loverly reviewers! i had to repost -gag- because i messed up a crucial part of the chapter. thanks to my amazing fan who caught it! dont be mad! :D**

**A:N/ **_Okay, well I've caught some sort of bug, and I'm home bored. So I figured I'd give you a very long chapter, at least for me. I hope you like it! _

**Vote! **_It's important guys, you know you should. I'll ask the questions at the bottom, but without your input this is going to be my story, my way. And I'd hate to bore you all! :D _

**Disclaimer: **_Stephenie Meyer owns it all_

* * *

When I slept, I dreamt. And dreams, I've found, are never pleasant anymore.

_I walked through the woods, snapping branches and cracking twigs as I tried to make my way around the underbrush. Tall trees towered over me, blocking out the light with their long arms that stretched farther out than I'd imagined possible. _

_The sun was setting, but today wasn't like others. I felt the warmth, the dry air scraped against my throat as I gasped for breath. I knew that beyond the dark, eerie shade of the trees, light existed. If I could only get through this _green_…_

_My excitement and intensity started building, and I gave up trying to be calm. I tripped over stones, falling and stumbling. I heard a hiss of a snake, accompanied with the sounds of deer jumping happily in the background. Birds sang, but along with it came the eerie howling of a desert coyote. I fell on a rock, cutting my knee slightly as I heard my ankle crack. _

_I moaned, glancing down to survey the damage. There was no pain, surprisingly, although my leg was cut and my ankle twisted. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I'd have to go see a doctor soon, but a bigger part of me was pushing to make it out of the woods. _

_So it was with sheer willpower that I grabbed the nearest branch, heaving myself against the thick trunk to steady myself. I tested my ankle, rolling it gently. Although there was no pain I winced slightly, as though I knew somehow I was supposed to. I tried to take a step, but the pressure made me collapse onto the soft dirt floor of the forest. The animals sang their songs as I sat there, legs crossed with my head in my hands. _

_I heard a low chuckle as I glanced up. _

"_Oh baby," My mother said, laughing. "Always so klutzy, aren't we?" _

_I saw her golden features and felt myself brighten immediately. The pain, the invisible pain, at least, meant nothing anymore. I reached for her just as she reached for me. She hugged me, kissing both of my cheeks and brushing my hair behind my ears. I cried happily, breathing in her wonderful scent. _

"_How are you mom?" I asked eagerly,__ searching her eyes. They we__re warm, like before she got sick. This was the same face that I remembered from my five-year-old memories, and I smiled at her as she sighed._

"_I love you, Bella," She said fervently. Her words gushed with love so strong it made my heart soar. _

"_I love you too, mom," I whispered, hugging her. _

"_Never, ever forget that, do you hear me?" She demanded seriously. I nodded my head and she sighed, seemingly content. _

"_How's my baby?" She asked, her eyes searching mine just as eagerly as mine had moments before. _

"_I'm okay mom, really. I'm managing. There's this-" I started, but her anger cut me off suddenly. _

"_I didn't ask about you," She said menacingly. I pulled away, staring at her again in horror. This was no longer my mother that I wanted so badly to remember. This was the mother that I'd known in the last few months of her life. The terrifying demon who had taken over her, stealing her body and her mind. I let out a ragged gasp, fresh tears welling in the corner of my eyes. _

"_The baby?" I staggered. She nodded angrily, and I tried to steady myself mentally. "She's very, very good. Her name is Annabel, just like you'd always wanted. She's the cutest baby you've ever seen, honestly mom. Scott sent me some pictures the other day, and she was playing with toys and having fun. I'm sure she'll miss you terribly though when she's older." _

_My mother's eyes turned metallic and angry. "Are you being sarcastic with me young lady? Are you lying? You never lie to me, do you hear me?" She shouted at me, bringing her arm back and slapping me across the face. _

_Suddenly I felt the air around me grow cold. I glanced up, surprised. My mother's eyes were enraged, staring at the stranger that had entered the clearing we were seated at. _

_Edward stalked into the meadow, his beautiful features drawn together in anger. I felt my face and realized it was starting to swell. Edward pulled me to my feet, setting me effortlessly on a tree branch. His beauty stunned me even in my dreams as he turned elegantly to face the demon that was my mother. _

"_Renee," He said carefully, his honey-silk voice mesmerizing me. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful his voice sounded. _

"_You!" She spat at him, her eyes crazed. I realized then that her clothes were torn, her hair ragged and uncombed. _

"_Renee," He repeated, taking a step towards her. I heard anger underneath his calm exterior and felt myself shiver. She jumped backwards, throwing me an agonized glance before turning for the woods. _

"_Ah ah," Edward said. "I'm afraid you've simply caused Bella too much pain. Certainly you didn't expect to come here and bother her further, did you?" He closed the distance quickly, grabbing her roughly and turning her towards me. I grimaced at her features, angered and fearful. _

"_Now, why don't you apologize to the lovely daughter of yours?" His voice was so lovely, so dangerous. _

"_No," I whispered, locking my plain brown eyes with his gorgeous gold ones. He frowned at me, releasing her. She threw another look at me, one I couldn't identify, before fleeing into the woods. _

"_Why not Bella?" He whispered, pulling me down from the branch as effortlessly as he'd put my in it. _

"_That woman is not my mother. That woman is nothing to me anymore," I said slowly, realizing that with the words came a small sense that I was telling the truth. He picked me up, carrying me through the woods since I couldn't walk. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them we were flying. He had me in his arms and yet he was running so fast the trees around us were a blur. When we broke through the layers of trees, I found we were standing in the desert. _Arizona, _my senses were telling me. _

The dream suddenly cut off, and I felt a strange need for it to continue, like something more important was about to happen. My mother's face, the tortured angered expression I'd been haunted by for months, kept scanning through my mind. And when I woke, I found myself gasping for air and clutching at my chest.

I'd half expected that since I'd told Edward everything, that my dreams would have disappeared. Of course I should have guessed that bringing them into the open would have only intensified them even more. I shook, feeling the tremors run through my body. Suddenly I was too cold just laying here. I reached for my blankets naturally, realizing then that I'd fallen asleep on the couch. Edward was gone, Charlie most likely sleeping upstairs. Just as I thought that, he confirmed my thoughts, snoring just loud enough for me to hear from my space on the couch.

I pushed the dream out of my mind, shivering involuntarily as walked quietly upstairs to my room. I tiptoed past Charlie's room, trying my best not to wake him. I went into my room, glancing at the clock. It was only five, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again this morning. I debated whether or not to take a shower, but decided against it when I realized that the loud pipes would surely alert Charlie that I was moving around the house.

I couldn't go back downstairs, so I went to my phone and turned it on. It wasn't a fancy phone. Big and bulky, it bulged in the pockets of my jeans. But I rarely used it, so to me it didn't matter anyways.

But as I powered it on, I realized that I should leave it on for more than an hour a day. I waited as my phone racked up message after message, missed call after missed call. I scanned through, ignoring Mike's voicemails and Jessica's insisting messages that I call her. Honestly, if you want me to call you, it would make more sense to call me instead. I sighed, glancing at Angela's message. I like her messages the best because every word was spelt out clearly, so I didn't have to do the annoying task of reading numbers as letters.

_Hey Bella, just wanted to know if you were up for a movie tonight in Port Angeles with me. You're welcome to bring a friend if you want! Talk to you at school! _

I sighed as I remembered that Angela did morning workouts. She'd been going through this craze lately, waking up at five to go for runs before it got cold. I wondered vaguely how she hadn't already caught pneumonia. I figured a movie would be harmless, glancing again at the invite to ask a friend. A certain face popped into my mind, but I quickly dismissed it. I went to the 'new message' section, hoping she'd be awake and running so that I wouldn't bother her dream rest.

_A movie sounds awesome! What time? _

Her response was quick. She was obviously up and running instead of sleeping in like I would normally do.

_I'll pick you up at 6. Don't forget the invitation invite! Haha, that's funny. Anyways, gotta go, I'll see you in school! _

I drew in a long breath, holding it for as long as possible before letting it out slowly. I glanced at the clock, seeing that only ten minutes had gone by.

I decided a run would do me some good, glancing out the window. It was considerably dry outside, and I didn't think the forecast called for ran until the afternoon.

I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt, grabbing some shoes. I didn't think that running would be that smart for me, being clumsy and all, but eventually decided I might as well shed a little weight.

So I found myself writing a quick note to Charlie and jogging out the door. Down the street and around the corner, I felt lifeless and yet totally alert as I jogged the empty streets of my quiet suburban neighborhood. Houses were still dark, and cars that were parked on gravel driveways had a thin layer of frost.

I had to keep my eyes trained on the ground to make sure that I wouldn't trip over any stones or stumble into any small dips in the road and hurt myself. The thought of twisting my ankle brought back vivid memories from my dream, and I felt myself pushing harder to chase them out of my mind.

By the time I was done running I was sweating terribly, my feet aching from working in the shoes. I dragged my limp body up the driveway, realizing it was almost six. Charlie woke a little earlier than normal, and he was reading my note at the kitchen table when I passed.

"Mornin' Bells," he greeted me, bringing a spoonful of mushy cereal to his mouth.

"Good morning, Dad," I said, grabbing a water from the fridge. I'd seemed to have lost my appetite, opting for a cereal bar instead of making something. I leaned against the counter while I ate.

"So you went running, huh?" He asked, both skepticism and surprise in his wide eyes. I nodded my head, shrugging as though I did it all the time.

"Angela does it," I explained, "And I woke up early so…"

He nodded his head as though this made perfect sense for a klutz like me to be running. When I was done with breakfast I ran upstairs, jumping through the shower quickly and putting a clip in my hair to keep the tangled mess out of my face. When I got back downstairs he'd already left for work, the house empty and barren.

With nothing better to do, I climbed into the old, red truck Charlie had given me as a welcome home present and drove to school. It ran slow, groaning if I tried to push it very fast. But even with the slow, moaning truck I somehow managed to make it to school an extra thirty minutes early.

I sighed, glancing around the parking lot. It was empty except for, who else, Mike. When he saw me he smiled and waved, cutting the engine on his car and jogging over to me. His baby face was flushed and he grinned at me widely as I rolled down the window.

"Hey Bella," he said, waving as though I hadn't already seen him run over to me. I tried to keep my response casual and friendly and still avoid rolling my eyes. I managed, somehow.

"Morning Mike."

It wasn't so much he was clingy, because I think that I'd be able to handle him if he was just clingy. But he got so excited to see me that it was sometimes weird. I wanted to be his friend, though, so I hoped we could push this dating thing aside. It would be great to have him as a friend, especially since this would be my school for the next few years.

"It's decent today," he noted, running a hand through his hair. It was true, the weather was very nice. There wasn't a chance that the sun would poke through, that I was sure of. But I was pretty positive that we'd have dry weather until tonight.

"What are you doing later," he pressed, leaning against my open window with one arm. I subtly scooted away from him, laughing so he didn't realize I was trying to move away.

"Going to a movie with Angela," I said. I wasn't going to tell him I could invite somebody, mainly because he'd get the wrong idea.

"Really? That sounds fun," he said. I nodded, glancing around the parking lot. I needed an escape before this conversation took the wrong turn.

Just my luck, a beautiful god was standing across the parking lot. I hadn't heard him pull in, but he was there now, leaning against his car. Arms folded across his chest, legs crossed, he was a picture of ease. It reminded me of my dream, but I realized that this Edward was much more beautiful than anything I could think up. My mind just wasn't that good.

Mike saw me glance over the parking lot, and he followed my gaze as his eyes focused in on Edward. I turned my head, blushing.

"Bella," Mike said, and now I really had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. He was going to get parental, was he? "I really don't think it's a good thing for you to start falling for that Cullen boy. You need a real man."

I fought the urge to laugh, cutting the engine on my car.

"Mike, I am not falling for the Cullen boy. And there are no real men around here, so I don't see the big deal." I realized, too late, that I'd insulted Mike without meaning to. I sighed, opening my door.

"Look, Mike," I said. Guilt made me do the dumbest things sometimes. "You're welcome to come tonight, if you want. It's probably going to be some cheesy romance, and if you're up for that, then you're welcome to tag along."

I prayed he'd say no, but to my horror he simply nodded his head vigorously and accepted quicker than I'd thought possible.

"Okay, well I have a question about Biology, so I'm going to go ask Edward," I said, backing away from my car. He nodded, and he walked away, looking so happy I wouldn't have put it past him to start skipping.

I sighed, crossing my arms and walking over the parking lot. There were a few more cars now, and I noticed that two of the three belonged to the Cullens. Alice bounded out, the short, beautiful girl I secretly envied, and skipped gracefully towards me. She wrapped her arms around me gently, kissing both of my cheeks before giving me a dazzling smile. The shock of her entrance stunned me momentarily, enough for her to take her cool hand in mine and pull me towards her car.

"We're going to be great friends," she sang, sitting gracefully on the hood of her car. Her voice sounded like the tinkling of bells, and all I managed to do was nod as she sped off a list of shopping centers and malls we could go to. It was overwhelming how quickly I found myself laughing and talking with her.

"Alice, she doesn't shop," I heard my favorite voice say from a ways behind me. I turned to him, drinking him in. I was right, my dreams were nothing compared to reality. His bronze hair was blowing slightly in the wind, his sweater hinting at the muscles underneath. I tried to calm my heart, which now began to stutter slightly as I looked at him.

"Edward!" She gasped, almost shocked. She raised a perfectly manicured nail to her chest, eyes going wide with shock. "We don't use the word don't and shop in the same sentence!"

He chuckled, smiling at what I assumed was his favorite sister.

"Yes, but we also don't terrorize innocent Bella," he said, and she nodded as though she'd actually scared me. I laughed, seeing them interact was so funny.

"It's true, though," I said to Alice as her eyes widened in terror, "I don't like to shop at all."

She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning towards me, pleading.

"Are you sure we can't just shop one or two billion times?" She said, her cool breath blowing into my face. I was momentarily stunned, but I didn't want to show it. Why did every Cullen family member have to look so beautiful?

"Edward Cullen," she said, glaring at me. I was afraid she was honestly mad, but as I looked deeper I saw a fondness hidden in her eyes. "Get this girl to change her mind, otherwise she's hopeless and we'll have to throw her out." It seemed like she was talking to both of us.

He smiled, walking closer. Before, he'd been standing against his car, but now as he walked closer I had to mentally fight to make my heart not lose control. I found the easiest thing to do was look away, so I settled to glance at Alice.

"Bella, have you met Jasper?" She trilled, jumping off her car. I shook my head and she smiled gleefully, opening the passenger door. I felt Edward stiffen from behind me, but slowly loosen up as Jasper muttered something under his breath. He couldn't have heard that, could he?

Before I had time to think Alice was towing Jasper out of the car, his arms wrapped around her waist as they walked. He smiled at me, tightening his grip on Alice.

"Bella, this is Jasper," she sang, doing a motion with her arm as though he was a prize to win. "He's mine, so if you like him, go look somewhere else." I knew of course that she was kidding, but I somehow knew not to put it past her to get defensive. I laughed, shaking my head at her.

"Hi, Jasper," I said, crossing my arms uncomfortably around me. I was getting quickly outnumbered, I only knew Edward, and I barely knew him at all. He smiled at me though, as though he knew something I didn't, and said hello back.

"Do you like it here?" He asked me politely, loosening his grip on Alice. Suddenly I felt Edward step right beside me, so close we were almost touching. I suddenly felt very calm, which was weird because I hadn't felt so calm in a very long time.

"Yea," I said slowly, "It's very nice. There's a lot of… friendly people."

Edward chuckled lightly, stepping away again to lean against the car. I followed, mainly because it gave me something to do instead of standing awkwardly in the middle of Alice and Edward.

"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself," he said, stiffening as a breeze fluttered through. Jasper's grip tightened again, and I felt Edward stiffen.

"Bella, would you care to go for a walk?" He asked, quick and pleading, yet somehow managing to make me move enough, even though I was shocked at the sudden change in emotion. I nodded my head as he grabbed my hand, pulling me away from Alice. I waved goodbye meekly and she managed to wave back before I stumbled. His hand was cold, I noticed, but I was strangely comforted by that. I closed my eyes, inhaling the scents from the air as I walked.

"So Bella," he said as I struggled to keep up. His long legs moved faster than mine could manage, and I was struggling.

"Edward," I said, panting. "Do you think you could slow down?" He laughed, shaking his head, but his pace slowed considerably until I was walking at an even pace.

"Sorry, Bella, I just forget when I'm around you." He smiled at me. He'd released my hand, and he now checked it for the time. "We have ten minutes."

He glanced at me, tightening his hand into a fist. Eventually it loosened, and he reached over gently to trace his long, slender fingers down the length of my cheek. I opened my eyes, glancing at him.

"Your eyes are darker today," I noted. "Why is that?"

He froze, and I immediately regretted saying anything. His hand dropped and his tone became hard, distant.

"Why do you mean?" He managed after a moment, taking his gaze off of me and glancing away. His tone surprised me, I wasn't expecting anger from him.

"Well, yesterday they were gold. Today they're darker." He glared at me, clenching his fist again. He stared out to the rest of the parking lot, looking at nothing. Although there were at least a dozen students gathered watching our display, he seemed unaffected.

"Silly Bella," he muttered. I figured he wasn't actually talking to me. "Sometimes you think too much."

I stood there uncomfortably for a moment, twisting my hair around my finger and biting my lip nervously. The students were gathering, although some of the smarter ones were heading for class. We probably had six minutes, tops.

"Well, uh, I'm going to go to class…" I muttered uncomfortably, opening my car door and grabbing my backpack. I slammed the door, maybe a little to hard, and then he was there.

His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me towards him. He buried his face in my hair, taking a deep breath. I felt his cool cheek against mine, my heart starting to beat uncontrollably.

"Bella," he whispered. I was shocked. His sudden mood swings always left me confused, one step behind everybody else. As soon as I thought I knew what was going on, he turned around and surprised me.

"Why are you upset, Bella?" He muttered, his arms still around my waist. I shook my head and he sighed, pulling one hand from my waist to lift my face to his.

"Won't you tell me?" He asked, his eyes pleading. If it was possible, I might have melted into a pool of hyperactive teenage hormones right there. His cool breath was blowing in my face, and I fought to remember how to form a sentence.

"Oh, uh," I started. He chuckled, but waited for me to continue. "You get mad at me a lot, it seems." I felt my cheeks grow hot and turned my face away from him so that I was glancing at the students. The crowd was filtering now, slowly, some waiting to see what would happen. I was glad that they couldn't hear us though.

"Bella," he said, a sadness hidden under his eyes. "I'm never mad at you. Don't you forget that, okay?"

I nodded my head weakly as the bell rang. I cursed it silently as his long arms released me, taking only my hand as we walked to class. When I reached my stop he paused as if he were deciding something, and after a moment turned quickly and walked away.

I stumbled into class, waiting for it to be over.

It was like that every period. He waited for me after class, leaning against the wall casually as though the students staring was nothing in particular. He'd hold my hand as we walked to my next class, turning to walk away after a moment just before the bell rang. Then I'd manage to drag myself into class, hoping and praying he was there next time while trying to make everything logical in my head.

Sometimes, I just couldn't do it. It didn't make sense why such a beautiful creature would have even the smallest interest in me. But hey, I wasn't going to object.

He wasn't there while I walked to lunch, though. I grabbed a tray, getting in line behind Angela as I waited.

"What movie do you want to see?" She asked, keeping her voice low. I don't think she realized she was doing it, it was just natural. She was quiet, but so far she was one of my favorite people in this tiny town.

"It's up to you," I said, setting a cookie on my plate. If anything, at least I picked the town that could cook decent lunches.

"Okay!" She said, a sudden excitement flooding her eyes. "I'll surprise you, okay?"

"Okay. You said I could invite somebody, right?" I asked, just to be sure it wasn't a zombie that I asked or something. She nodded, grabbing a turkey sandwich from the giant tray.

"Well, Mike sort of cornered me…" I started. She rolled her eyes, sighing.

"I guess pup can come," she said, in reference to their most recent nickname for him. I laughed.

"Do you think I could invite somebody else?" I asked quietly. I knew I'd already invited Mike, but I really didn't want him there. She glanced at me curiously, but nodded.

As we walked to our table I glanced around for Edward. He wasn't where his family normally sat, in the corner all by themselves. Instead, he was with my group of people. He smiled and laughed with them, talking about something or another, fitting right in. I paused, nearly dropping my plate in shock.

Nobody paid me any attention, except Angela. She burst out laughing, glancing between him and me.

"Do you want to sit somewhere else?" She asked, confused. Our table was usually full, but it seemed like they'd pulled up another chair for him. Jessica sat on one side, an empty chair on the other. He looked up, smiling at me and patting the space next to him.

I walked over, glancing at him with suspicious eyes. He winked at me, patting the space again. Jessica scowled at me, but he just watched me. I sat down next to him, saying hello to the rest of my friends.

"So, Bella," Jessica said, although she never stopped looking at Edward. I nibbled at the edges of my cookie. "We're friends, right?"

Her question took me by surprise. She was good to listen to, mainly because all she did was talk. So in the sense that I could have her talk for hours and not have to say anything, yes, she was my friend. But on the entertainment scale, not so much. But I nodded, giving her my best smile.

"Great!" She clapped her hands, leaning in to Edward. "Let's do something this weekend!"

"Oh, Jessica. I already made plans for tonight and Saturday, but I'd love to do something next weekend." In truth, I didn't have plans for Saturday, at least, not yet. I saw her frown, glancing at Edward and then me as though she was trying to tell me something. I realized what she was doing and felt a wave of irritation roll off of me. She was going to ask Edward out.

"What are you doing Saturday?" She pressed, setting the trap. I saw her hand, placed subtly on Edwards arm. I fought the urge to gag.

"Huh, Saturday?" I said, although it sounded like a question. I glanced at Angela, pleading with my eyes. Before she could manage a response though, Edward spoke up.

"I believe Bella was going to accompany my sister Alice to the mall." He smirked at me and I stuck my tongue out at him, ignoring Jessica as she rolled her eyes. "Then we were going to go for dinner, if she would like." It sounded like he was talking to Jessica more than me, but I figured I knew what a date was when I saw it.

"I would love to," I said, glancing down at my hands. He smiled at me, so stunning I thought I wouldn't be able to breath. I smiled back, feeling as though my heart was going to explode. Angela smiled at me, winking, while Mike scowled. Edward just grinned, reaching over to play with my fingers and leaning over to breathe in my ear.

"Are you sure you like me sitting here?" He whispered, bending his head so nobody else could hear.

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, quickly biting my tongue and mentally slapping myself. Everybody glanced at my curiously, and I felt my face flush red with embarrassment. I turned my body towards him although I kept my head bent low, letting the natural lunch conversations flow around me. Jessica didn't seem to mind though, that Edward was talking to me and playing with my hair.

"So, Edward," she said. He rolled his eyes at me, kissing my forehead gently before turning towards her. I felt my heart stutter, but tried to turn my head so I wasn't listening to their conversation. It seemed, though, that Jessica wanted me to hear, so I eventually turned to listen too.

"Do you think that you'd want to hang out sometime next weekend? We could go to a movie, go to dinner…" She shot off a list of dating plans, ranging from dinner to less noble things. I felt myself blush listening to her, feeling myself filled with pity as I listened to her desperate attempts.

"Thank you for the offers," Edward managed, trying not to laugh. "I do believe though, that I have a date with Bella. I'll get back to you, though."

She smiled, and I think she may have jumped up and down if she weren't sitting in her chair. He turned back to me, but avoided too much contact. I sighed, wishing Jessica could just leave me be. I remembered the movie suddenly, gathering the courage to ask him.

"Edward?" I asked, picking invisible lint off my sweater. He looked at me, expectant.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Well, there's a movie tonight. Mike and Angela are going, and I think that Angela said I could invite somebody if I wanted…" I trailed off, to embarrassed to continue.

"Where's it at?" He said patiently, reaching over to gently pull my face so I was looking at him.

"Port Angeles, I think. But I think that it's going to be a chick flick, so it would be fine if you don't want to."

He just smiled though, and I closed my eyes, waiting.

"Yes, Bella. I would most definitely love to. But be warned, you don't want to get involved with me," he said. At first I thought he was kidding, but I realized that he was too serious. He was telling the truth, and whatever it was, his threat was real.

"I don't care," I said, knowing the words were true. It didn't matter, I figured. I would still like him anyways. But his eyes blazed in anger, and I was plagued with sudden fear. I closed my eyes tightly, flinching away from his gaze.

"You. Don't. Care?" He said, his words dripping venom. I waited for a moment to make sure my voice didn't shake. But still, all I could manage was a whisper.

"No."

I felt him shaking and opened my eyes. He glared out over the heads of my classmates, his eyes dangerous and menacing. Still, I felt the need to reach out and touch him. The rest of my classmates stared at me like I was crazy, stared at him in fear. I reached a tentative hand out, speaking below my breath. I knew he could hear me, somehow, while nobody else could.

"I don't care anymore, Edward. You're the only thing that's worth anything to me now," I whispered, choking on my words. He turned to me, his eyes so tortured it reminded me of my mother. I flinched involuntarily, waiting to fall apart. But somehow he was there, and it was okay.

"As long as you're sure," he muttered, but some of his sadness went away. I wrapped my arms around him, letting only two tears escape in memory of my mother. It was getting easier, dealing with the pain. He lifted me effortlessly, just like in my dream, to place me in his lap. He knew, somehow, exactly what was happening. My classmates were used to seeing my fall apart by now, used to seeing me curled in a ball, barely holding myself together. But his arms curled under me were protection, shielding me from everything else in the world. As he rocked me he stroked my hair gently, humming an unfamiliar tune.

It would have been so easy to fall asleep, but I'd healed just enough that when the bell rang I was able to gather my things and head for Biology.

The rest of the school was a blur, and I felt the hole in my chest ache and burn as I thought of my mother. But as I ached, I healed. And by the end of the day, I found that I was alive. That was hope.

"I can not believe it!" Alice squealed, wrapping her arms around me in the tightest hug I've ever received in my whole life. I laughed, pushing her away so I could breathe.

"You can thank Edward for this. I don't usually shop," I said, letting her know I wouldn't do it again for a very, very long time. She nodded seriously, her short pixie hair bouncing around as she jumped gleefully to her car. Edward had gone to talk to Emmett somewhere, and when I saw Alice I decided to tell her the news.

"Well, thank you Edward!" She sang, skipping around. Her energy was starting to rub off on me, and I felt myself smiling and laughing for no reason other than the fact that she was so excited. "I hear you're going to a movie tonight," she noted, glancing over my head at something I couldn't see. She frowned, peering over the cars into the woods.

"What is it?" I asked, turning to stare too. I didn't see anything, but she scrunched up her nose, her eyes glassy and distant. I snapped my fingers in front of her eyes, confused. She gasped, blinking quickly. She stared at me, shocked. I stared back, equally confused.

"What was that?" I asked, bewildered. She shook her head, staring back at the woods. "Alice, are you okay?"

She laughed nervously, muttering something so low I couldn't hear.

"Bella really, everything's fine," she said, although I saw her peek over my head again.

"Are you okay? What was that? You just zoned out on me." She laughed, but it was nervous and her eyes were guarded.

"I just do that sometimes. Okay so when we go shopping…" She rattled off a list of clothing stores to try, and by the time she was done I was so distracted I'd nearly forgotten what we were talking about to start with.

"You better get to your car, Bella," she said as Jasper strolled out with Rosalie. Rosalie was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Long legs, long blonde hair and dark eyes. I envied her with a passion. But that didn't seem to make her like me any more, because when she passed me she glared, and I felt my eyes widen with shock.

"Ignore her, Bella," Jasper said, wrapping his arms around Alice again. She closed her eyes, sighing as she leaned into his embrace. "She's just jealous."

I laughed at his joke, although he tried to tell me he was serious. By the time I got to my car I'd pretty much forgotten about Alice's weird zoning out, passing it off as average boredom. But she had been totally focused before it happened, so boredom didn't make much sense. Maybe she had a disease?

I was so focused on getting the car and figuring out what was going on with Alice that I jumped when I heard a soft knock on the window. I turned to find Edward standing there and I rolled down my window quickly.

"Yea?" I asked casually.

"Well, I didn't say goodbye," he explained. I nodded as though it made perfect sense, but I felt my heart stutter involuntarily in my chest.

"I'm going to see you tonight," I said, trying to even out the beats of my heart. He smiled at me, reaching a hand out to turn my face to his.

"I'll see you then," he muttered, breathing his cool scent in my face. He pressed his cool lips to my forehead, pulling away and smiling at me. I realized then that I'd been holding my breath, and I let it out in a quiet breath. At least, I hoped it was a quiet breath.

"Bye, Edward," I muttered as he walked away, swinging his keys in his hand. Tonight was going to be interesting. Edward Angela and Mike, my obsessed fan. What could go wrong?

* * *

**A:N/ **_well, this is most definitely my longest chapter yet. I wanted to give you a view on Alice, and of course you all know what her 'zoning out' really was. I also wanted to make Jessica jealous, mainly because I despise her. :D I hope I didn't bore you guys with this. _

**VOTE: **_well, as I'm gaining experience writing comes more naturally. (Thus why you have a nice and long chapter) But I'm still at a roadblock with trying to figure out some details. _

_**Should Bella meet Jacob? **__It doesn't have to be all love, but just enough to get Edward jealous. _

_**How should Bella find out? **__If I don't get any input, I'm going to have to stick with the 'Jacob' scenario. I know I'm going to put the wolves in this story, but I don't have to make them friends. I'd hate to change Jacob though, but I just don't see any way for Bella to find out, since Edward isn't going to tell her. _

_I really, really need your input on this if you want a great next chapter. I have backup plans, but if you vote against Jacob I'm afraid its not going to come as naturally. Anyways, it's up to you what you want, and since I'm the author I guess I have no say… lol. But honestly, I love your reviews and I love constructive criticism! _

**REVIEWS + YOU + ME = FASTER CHAPTERS!**


	10. Vampire? Well, Maybe

Five o'clock, I thought, glancing at my clock. Angela would be coming over in one hour, and Alice had insisted on coming over to do my hair and make up before the movie. I didn't see why it was necessary, seeing as it was just Angela, Mike and Edward that I needed to impress, but I decided to let her nonetheless.

So now I sat in my bedroom, Alice fluttering around the chair I was sitting in, trying to get every detail just right. My hair was freshly re-washed and combed. It lay curled down my back, and I must admit, Alice was very good at her job. She flitted around, fidgeting every time that I tried to fix something.

"It looks perfect," she must have repeated nearly a dozen times. Edward would be swinging by to ride with Angela and I, and Mike would also be showing up shortly. We were going to carpool to make sure that we all had a ride there and back, and Edward needed to come anyways to make sure Alice had a car to drive back home.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, silently excited at my appearance. She knew, somehow, exactly what I wanted. My make-up was subtle, yet managed to make my eyes sparkle. I never really took much charge in ensuring that I looked good, mainly because I honestly didn't care. But while Alice jumped around, I felt myself silently looking forward to her makeovers.

Talking was easy with Alice. She didn't focus on negative and trivial things such as gossip like Jessica did. She laughed and talked about her family, asking me questions about home. She knew to avoid anything about my mother, asking mainly about my friends. I realized how badly I missed them now, telling her a story about how Amelia and I had once tricked Hogan at school and almost got suspended. By the time I was finished with my story we were both doubled over in laughter, and I was glad it was so easy to talk to her.

"You know you can spend the night if you want. Forget it, just come with us to the movie. Please?" I begged, hoping I could be as persuasive as she was to me earlier. She just smiled and shook her head, glancing at the clock. It was nearly five-thirty now.

"Jasper and I are going to celebrate our anniversary, actually," she informed me. I immediately felt bad for having her come over on her anniversary.

"How long have you been together?" I asked innocently. She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. I didn't know what was so funny, and it must have shown on my face.

"A while," she finally said. I threw her a look but she just shook her head. "I think that this is…our two year anniversary."

"Two years?" I marveled, "Seriously? That's so great! Congratulations!" I hugged her tightly and she smiled.

"Thanks Bella." I had the strange sense she wasn't telling me something, but I figured it wasn't the time to press it. Considering the fact I had twenty minutes to get an outfit together, arguing with my new friend didn't seem to be the most logical thing to do.

"What to wear…" She started, glancing around the room. She smiled mischievously, reaching into her bag. She pulled out a bright yellow tank top and a blue and white print top. The shirt looked amazing, but I knew I couldn't wear it. She threw it to me gleefully, making me slip it on.

"Alice, you came straight from school. How did you have this?" I asked curiously, staring at it in the mirror. It did look nice on me, and I didn't have anything else…

"Well I was going to wear it for the anniversary. But you need it more than I do," she said, smiling. I gaped at her and immediately started taking it back off.

"I can't wear this! You need it for your anniversary!" I somehow managed to bend my elbows just the wrong way, and the shirt got caught over my face. I gasped, falling backwards onto the bed. I heard her tinkling laugh, silently cursing myself for being clumsy. She came over and carefully slipped it back over my shoulders so it was laying flat again.

"Bella, look at me. Do I look like I need it?" It was true, she was already wearing something stunning. A simple gray sweater, but she accented it perfectly. I sighed, accepting the fact that I'd be borrowing it for the night.

"I guess not," I mumbled, "But I still feel bad that I'm taking your shirt."

She smiled wickedly at me and winked. "Bella, don't forget, its our anniversary. I don't think it would be on that much anyways."

I blushed violently, thanking my lucky stars that the bell rang at just that exact moment. She laughed though, unaffected, and raced down the stairs. I slipped on some pale blue jeans, noting that it _did _look nice on me.

"Bella!" Her high voice called from downstairs. "Mike's here early!"

I sighed, glancing out the window. Yes, that was Mike's car all right. The clock read that we still had fifteen minutes, and I debated whether or not to say that I was still getting ready. In the end though, I opted to just go downstairs.

Somehow, I managed to stumble on the last step, nearly falling flat on my face. I did manage to stub my toe however, and stumbled around the kitchen for the next five minutes. Alice was laughing at me, but Mike's eyes were filled with concern. I wish he could just try to hurt me so I could slap him.

I waved a quick hello and mumbled a response to his questions as I tried to dull the throbbing toe.

"Are you okay Bella?" He asked me quickly. "Do you need anything?" I shook my head, but he continued to pester me. I pulled myself up, sitting on the counter.

"Is Alice coming to the movie with us?" Mike seemed a little flustered by Alice's unexplained presence.

"No," I said, frowning at her, "Her and Jasper are celebrating their two year anniversary." I felt myself blush involuntarily, hearing her quiet giggle as she explained to Mike that she'd probably be going to the next one. He nodded, glancing around the kitchen uncomfortably.

"You look very nice, Bella," Mike said as Alice excused herself for a moment.

"Thanks, Mike," I said, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. It was sleeveless, and I felt a slight chill ripple through my body, causing me to shiver. I hid it though, in fear that Mike would offer me his coat.

Just then the doorbell rang and Mike eagerly ran to get it. Angela walked in a moment later, gleefully looking me over as we jumped around in circles. She had her hair done too, straight thick strands dangled in front of her eyes. She brushed them away absently, checking over my outfit. She nodded approvingly, saying hello to Mike.

"What movie do you guys want to see?" Mike seemed more comfortable now that Angela was here and Alice had excused herself. I didn't see what made him so uncomfortable, being around Alice, that is. I thought she was a lot of fun, even though she was the most crazy person I'd ever met.

"Let's see that new one, you know, about the spy?" Angela asked, glancing at Mike to see his reaction. He shrugged, looking over to me.

"Yea, that one looks funny," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing. I stared at Angela, confused, but she tilted her head to the side, grinning at me.

I followed her gaze to see Edward standing next to Alice. He'd changed out of his sweater and khakis into jeans and a t-shirt. Over his shirt he had a dark leather jacket, and I honestly thought he looked better than anybody I'd ever seen. I walked over to him, ignoring the pain in my toe, to greet him.

"Hello Bella," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me. I put my head against him, breathing in his scent deeply. It was something indescribable, the scent mesmerized me, made me think of nothing except him.

"Hi Edward," I mumbled into his chest. He laughed at my mumbled voice. I pulled away, ignoring Angela and, more importantly, Mike. He was sulking now, and I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that I'd offended him again. Even though Edward and I were just friends, leave it to Mike to take a simple hug and twist it into something more. I'd hugged him too, right?

"Okay, well I better go," Alice said. "Jasper might be upset if I miss the whole date."

"Have fun tonight," I said, blushing. She laughed and nodded, taking the keys from Edward and dancing out to her car. I shook my head as she waved goodbye again, blowing kisses from her window as she sped down the street. I realized then that she really sped, and figured I'd have to reprimand her later. Charlie was the Chief of Police, and I was pretty sure speeding right in front of his house might be a bad idea.

Mike and Angela headed for the car, but Edward held back. I frowned at him, but he was lost in thought. Something occurred to him, and he glared ahead furiously before looking at me and smiling.

"What is it?" I asked, staring at him.

"Nothing, honestly," he said lightly, trying to lead the way to the car. I heard the car honk impatiently but stood my ground, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.

"Edward, you can't just get all serious and then not tell me what's going on," I said seriously. He sighed, but smiled as he walked over to me.

"Bella, really," he started, complaining.

"Okay, well I was thinking what you would say," he said. None of it made any sense, so I shook my head.

"What do you mean?" I asked, bewildered. I heard the car honk again but this time I ignored it, as did he.

"Bella, honestly. It's nothing, I promise you," he said, lifting a hand for me to take. As tempting as it was, I shook my head.

"Will you tell me later?" I asked, just to make sure. He nodded, coming over to wrap his arms around me for a hug.

"Because friends tell friends things," I mumbled into his chest. He laughed, shaking his head. Being this close to Edward made me realize how cold and hard he actually was. It felt like I had my arms wrapped around a very tall, handsome rock.

"Bella," he said, pulling away slightly. His eyes were pleading, and his change of mood stunned me. "I'm going to ask you later if you want to come over tomorrow again. Think about it, because I'm truly no good for you. I'm not who you want me to be, and I think it's a bad idea if we're friends."

"Hey guys we're gonna be late!" Mike called, walking into the kitchen. He stopped mid stride, eyes bulging as he stared at us. First me, then Edward, his features went from surprised to embarrassment and turned quickly to rejection. I felt my cheeks flush as I glanced up at Edward, who was frowning at something, and then to Mike, who was staring at me, dumbfounded.. It took Mike only a moment to recover, and by then I'd already ran out to the car.

I slipped in passenger seat, not wanting to sit in the back with Mike and too embarrassed to sit with Edward. My face was flushed and I saw Angela throw me a surprised glance before laughing as Mike stumbled out, flustering apologies as Edward shook his head politely.

"What did you do?" She muttered, chuckling under her breath. I sighed heavily, feeling my face flush again.

"Edward was hugging me, we were just talking, and Mike walked in. He didn't really like him hugging me though," I muttered. Her mouth dropped open and she gasped quietly, although she couldn't fight the laughter that was building up inside her. By the time that Mike got in the car, Angela had to get out, stumbling and laughing as she piled herself in the backseat. She threw the keys on the driver's seat, chuckling and mumbling to herself. I didn't think it was _that_ funny, but apparently it must have been pretty hilarious to somebody who'd barely slept the night before.

Edward stared at her, amused. Mike grumbled and got out of the car.

"I'll drive," he said, jumping into the driver's seat. Mike turned the car back on and switched to some annoying rap music. He turned it down so it was only background noise, humming quietly to himself. He seemed to have recovered, as had Angela, and we drove down the street now.

Angela asked to turn to the oldies station, and we sang along to the songs we knew. Mike wanted to change it back to his station, but I explained that passenger always gets to choose. Edward entertained us, even Mike, by telling a story about Emmett and Carlisle in a fight. It seemed like he left some things out, but his voice was so sure that I don't think Angela or Mike noticed.

By the time we got to Port Angeles we were all laughing and talking, although Mike didn't like to talk to Edward unless Edward initiated the conversation first. This didn't deter the flow of the conversation though, and as Mike watched Edward with envious eyes I smiled. What wasn't to envy about Edward?

"Sorry, Bella," Edward said. He had a deep frown set in his features. I'd been careful not to touch him since we'd gotten out of the car, and he stood now with his arms limply at his sides.

"For what?" I mumbled, confused. Angela frowned too, and Mike seemed to come out of his trance enough to glance up and curse. The movie was sold out, and the only other thing playing was a kid's movie about a baby walrus and its pet caribou.

"Perfect," Mike mumbled, "What now?"

Angela thought for a moment before her eyes lit up.

"I know where another theatre is! When I was going out with Sean we went there because this place was sold out. It's rather small, but nobody's really ever there except for some cute boys. We went there three or four times, usually on Friday nights. It's only a little ways away, so I don't think it would be a problem to go there. Do you want to?"

Mike seemed to brighten up at the thought of a movie somewhere new. I was just happy that we didn't have to watch a movie about an animal that lived in water and yet somehow had a pet that could only live on land.

"Where is it at?" Edward asked curiously from beside me.

"La Push. It's some reservation thing by Forks. There's a lot of Indian tribes and stuff there, and a lot of the boys are very attractive." I laughed at her sudden excitement, turning to Edward.

He stiffened as she was talking though, his eyes turned distant and blazed with something I couldn't identify.

"I'm going to have to pass," he said regretfully, running a hand through his silky bronze hair. I leaned against the wall, feeling the cold, hard concrete press against my back. It reminded me strangely of Edward when he'd hugged me, how hard his skin was to touch and how freezing it was against my skin.

"Why?" Mike asked, false curiosity in his voice. I knew that wasn't the only emotion, though. "Are you scared of the big Indian boys?" Edward laughed though, shrugging.

"We don't have good history," he said, as though that explained everything. He picked up his phone and called Rosalie, asking her to come get him.

"Edward, you don't have to leave," Angela said, disappointed. I felt bad that she was upset, but I felt worse that Edward was going to leave. Again, I felt the urge to kick Mike for no reason other than the fact he was here and he was an idiot. Edward smiled though, waving it off as though it was no big deal.

"Edward, are you sure?" I asked, turning to him. He smiled sincerely, nodding his head.

"I guess this will give you more time to hunt before tomorrow then, if you're up for chasing animals around in the dark," I stated mildly, glancing around the crowded theatre. I felt him stiffen, dragging me off to the side. I threw Angela a shocked look before he pressed me against the wall tightly.

"What did you just say?" He demanded, his voice icy. Still though, I felt my heart speed up. It wasn't fear though, it was just confusion and annoyance. I tried to break my arms out of his grip but he held them firmly at my sides.

"What did you say?" He demanded again, getting only inches away from my face. It wasn't like earlier, though, because this time I was scared. I gasped, trying to form my words into sentences. There was some other emotion in his voice…fear?

"Alice said…you liked…hunting," I spluttered out, not meeting his gaze. He mumbled something, releasing me. He glanced over at me, anguished.

"Bella…" he said, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, truly I am. You just took me by surprise, that's all. I told you it was a bad idea for us to spend time together! Look at how quickly I lost my temper with you just now, for nothing more than a statement of fact!" He laughed without humor, his eyebrows pushing together in anger at himself. I reached out tentatively to smooth out the lines in between his eyes and heard him take a deep breath.

"Bella, I'm no good for you. That just proved it. Look at your arms!" He exclaimed, lifting them with extreme tenderness to point to the pale skin. I glanced at him confused, they were perfectly fine, besides a little aching.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to switch subjects. He shook his head though, pinching his nose with his fingers. "There's nothing wrong with me!" He frowned at me momentarily before some sort of awareness came to his face.

"Your friend Mike is debating whether or not to come and break up our fight," he said sadly. "He probably should."

I let out an exasperated cry.

"Edward what's with you? First you tell me you like me, then I shouldn't be with you, and now you're trying to shove me into the arms of Mike! You cant' keep overreacting and just not expect me to say nothing!" I was getting worked up now, angry tears brimming over my eyes. He dried them the strands of my hair, sighing. He was doing that a lot tonight, I noted.

"I suppose I should get things straight before I decide what I'm going to do," he muttered, probably more to himself than to me.

He sighed, pinching his nose again.

"Edward," I started. I gathered strength to continue as I ignored his wary expression. "You're hiding something from me. Just… please, tell me what's going on."

"Bella, oh Bella," his anguish voice sighed. "How I wish I could tell you! Truly, I would if I could, I swear. You're just too perceptive for your own good, do you realize that?" I nodded, smiling slightly.

"Why would you think Mike wanted to break up our fight?" I asked curiously. He smiled, but I didn't miss the anxiety in his eyes.

"People are easy to read, Bella," he said seriously. I felt my heart stutter, did that mean he knew that I had feelings for him?

"Am I?" I asked, trying my best to be casual. He looked at me curiously, as though he were really trying to figure something out.

"No…you're very interesting. I found it very difficult to know what you're thinking," he said, closing his mouth with an audible snap. I paused for a minute, shivering in the cold.

"Are you cold, Bella?" He asked quickly, taking off his coat. I shook my head, running my hands up and down my arms. They felt fine enough, but I saw Edward frown as he watched me.

"I can't take your coat, Edward," I objected meekly as he wrapped it around my shoulders. But I slipped it on anyways, feeling the thick material immediately start to warm me.

"You need it anyways to cover those marks," he muttered, angry at himself again. I don't think he meant for me to hear, and I glanced at him again, confusion evident on my face.

Rosalie drove up then, slammed on her brake and spun around once before coming to a halt in front of us. The passenger door opened and I heard her voice, "Get in."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Edward asked, just to be sure. I nodded and gave him my best smile, which he grimly returned.

Suddenly his eyes blazed with an emotion I couldn't identify. It reminded me of this morning when we'd been standing by my car. He crushed me to him, pressing me closer as he buried his face in my hair.

"Sleep well," he whispered in my ear, his cool breath tickled. He quickly untangled himself from me and climbed into the car. Before I knew what had happened they were gone, and I was left confused again, wondering why I was always one step behind. I walked back into the theatre, focusing on steadying my heart.

--

By the time Mike, Angela and I had arrived in Port Angeles, the sun was long gone from the sky. We were bathed in the darkness pressing down on us, the only light visible came from the lights from cars and the simple sign that read 'La Push Theatre'. The car seemed surprisingly quiet now, but I felt happiness rolling off of Mike as we pulled into the parking lot.

The building was small in comparison to the theatre in Port Angeles. It only showed two movies at a time, and it looked old and shabby. Still, though, walking up to it I felt a strange sense of comfort. It was cozy, and I noticed that they had pots of heavy duty plants placed meticulously around the entrance. I wasn't expecting much from the outside, but when I stepped in I was shocked.

Apparently, Angela wasn't lying. Dozens of boys stood in line, all laughing and yelling to each other. One of the counter girls was getting hit on by one of the boys, and she snapped back a witty retort. This caused the boys to laugh even harder, and I saw the counter girl blush slightly under already rosy cheeks. Everybody seemed to know each other, and Mike, Angela, and I felt suddenly out of place.

I was shocked, too, how many people could fit in this tiny building. There must have been at least three of four dozen, and the entrance hall wasn't very large.

We worked our way to the ticket counter, worming in between a group of laughing girls and boys. They were all dark skinned, making me feel even more uncomfortable as their beautiful golden skin tones were put against mine.

"What'll it be?" A dark haired girl asked me, a ticket-girl smile on her face.

"The spy movie, please." I pulled out a twenty, preparing to throw it on the counter.

"Oh, you don't want that," she said, shaking her head. She laughed as somebody threw a straw wrapper at her, picking it off of her uniform. "That movie's such a rip off. They take your money so you watch bad animation and worse acting. Why don't you go to Interview With A Vampire, we're having a special showing. Nobody goes to see that, we just have to for some weird purpose."

I bit my lip, studying the intricate patterns on the wall. I never understood why they put carpet on the walls in some places, it just didn't make sense. Eventually, though, I accepted the ticket to the vampire movie, as did Angela and Mike, and we stepped into the theatre.

The sound died down almost immediately, and inside the theatre was quiet except for a few people talking quietly. The movie hadn't started yet, and I glanced around the theatre. It was packed, we'd filled in three of the remaining ten seats.

Suddenly the doors burst open and three giggling girls walked in. They sat down on the far end of the row, leaving four remaining seats open. By the time the movie started four boys had taken the seats, and I sighed as the previews ended.

"Hey Angela!" The boy next to me said, waving. She glanced at me curiously and shrugged. "We don't usually get a lot of people from out of town in this theatre," he explained, "It's hard to forget when a bunch of strangers come."

"So you know everybody here?" I asked, brightening up. Something about him made me want to smile, maybe hug a tree. Well, not that far, but pretty close.

"Definitely. This three guys are Quil, Embry, and Jared. They're the biggest bunch of idiots you'll ever meet. Those girls over there are Sarah, Jayden and Chrissy. They're the girls who think they're cool, but really kind of get on your nerves." He dropped his voice to a whisper as he told me about all his friends. "We're a pretty tight-knit group here in La Push, this showing tonight is mainly because of a joke."

"A joke?" I asked curiously, glancing at the screen. I'd barely been paying it any attention, but I spared it a glance as he spoke.

"Yea, legends. Supposedly we descend from wolves. You know, ruff, the whole thing. My dad's really big on it, I think it's a load of bull. Anyway, we change in to wolves and protect the town. We have one true enemy, the vampire. They kill people, and we signed a treaty with them telling them to stay off of our land, or else. It sounds crazy, right?" He launched into the full story, whispering though because the movie was still playing.

It connected then.

The pale skin.

The beauty.

The strength.

"_We don't have good history," he said_

Could it really be true? Everything this boy was telling me?

"I'm sorry, what was your name?" I asked him quickly. I was in panic mode now, glancing around the theatre nervously.

"Jacob…" He said slowly, looking at me like I was semi-crazy. Maybe I was. "What's yours?"

"Bella," I rushed out quickly. "Look, I have to go. Maybe I'll see you again sometime. It was really nice talking to you."

"The movie's barely even started!" He laughed, but allowed me to stand up. I nearly tripped over Angela's feet as I dragged her outside.

"Bella?" She looked at me worriedly, putting a hand to my forehead. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

I shook my head quickly, I really did feel like I was going to throw up. I leaned over a trash can just in case, trying to even out my breathing. Was it even possible, to be a vampire? I shook my head, fighting against my own mind. She put a comforting hand on my back, rubbing in circles as I searched for breath.

Mike came out of the theatre, looking confused and concerned.

"What's going on?" He asked, watching Angela soothe me.

"She doesn't feel very well. Maybe we should just go home." I let Angela do the talking for me, even though by this point I could very well do it on my own. Mike nodded, taking hold of my waist as he led me carefully to the car. They put me in the backseat this time, and they talked quietly as I pressed my face against the window.

Charlie was home by the time I got back, and when he saw us he rushed outside. I probably looked horrible, but I let Angela do the talking again as she led me upstairs. Mike had left, saying that he wasn't feeling very well either, and Angela sat with me for a while to make sure I was okay.

"What happened in the theatre?" She asked after Charlie had shut the door. We both sat on my bed drinking hot chocolate, the one thing Charlie could make with little to no help.

"I just… I don't really know." I hoped my expression didn't look guilty. I didn't want to lie to Angela, and in truth I really didn't know what happened, but I didn't think Edward would like it if I told this to her. What if I was wrong?

"Are you gonna be okay?" She asked, looking at me nervously. I nodded, taking another sip of my hot chocolate. We moved on to simpler subjects, and when I glanced at the clock I realized it was eleven.

"Who was that you were sitting at in the theatre?" She asked me, opening one of my notebooks that was sitting on the counter. She took out a pen and started doodling, drawing a hippo, a walrus, and the pet caribou. I laughed, almost forgetting her question.

"I think his name was Jacob," I said. She nodded appreciatively, flipping the page. She redrew the same thing, and I looked at her, confused. She shrugged, thinking.

"He was pretty cute," she said, offhand. I laughed, shrugging. She raised on eyebrow, looking at my skeptically.

"You didn't think he was attractive?"

I shrugged again, looking out the window.

"I really wasn't…paying attention," I said. I thought I saw something in the woods, but then it was gone. I blinked, shaking my head to come out of my daze. I really needed some sleep. She sighed knowingly, smiling to herself.

"What?" I demanded. She just smiled, shaking her head.

"You're falling for a Cullen. Don't object Bella, you'll only be lying. Everybody does, don't worry. It's a phase, the Cullens don't date people outside their social circle. As you know, Edward's the only single one, but he's rejected Jessica enough that everybody pretty much sees that he's unavailable. I think he said once that he had a model girlfriend from California. We think that's where he goes on the Fridays he's not in school."

I laughed, imagining Edward with a beautiful model girlfriend. It really wasn't that bad of a picture, considering a goddess with a god was pretty natural. My small heart beat just a bit faster as I thought about the model being me in Edward's arms, but I pushed the idea away. We were friends, it made perfect sense. And if he were a vampire…

I cut off that train of thought, but it was hard. Maybe that was why he was always… smelling me. It made sense, in a way. He probably did it to everybody, and I was just a new person to him. I felt my stomach clench as I thought of tomorrow. I'd be spending the day with him. Alone.

I debated whether or not to cancel, to call and claim too sick to go out. But then I realized something.

Alice must be a vampire too, right? She was cold, hard and beautiful too, wasn't she? Did that make her a vampire? If she was, than why hadn't she tried to kill me?

I felt like I was crazy, making up stories. I sighed, crossing my legs.

"Wow, its late," Angela noted, flipping through the book. I noticed the hippo jumping up and down on the page and laughed.

"You made a flipbook?" I took it, flipping it again. The walrus was jumping into water, its pet caribou running around the background. It really was rather clever. She shrugged, standing up to stretch.

"I'm gonna take off. My mom will be wondering where I'm at if I don't get home soon. I'll see you later!"

We hugged and I waved as she drove away.

I had so much on my mind I started to get a migraine. I ran downstairs, slapping two pills on the counter and a glass of water. I said goodnight to Charlie, and I saw his shocked expression as I actually smiled at him. He covered it quickly though, smiling back and waving goodnight.

I was looking forward to tomorrow and fearing it more than anything. I felt the butterflies in my stomach jump as I thought of spending the day with Alice shopping, and then seeing the beautiful face of Edward Cullen, the…. I couldn't think the words. I didn't want to think them, didn't want them to be true. If they were true, they went against everything I'd ever learned in my entire existence. I felt the pills doing their job and, exhausted, I crawled into bed and let the dreams fill my head.

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_Badda Bing! New chapter done! Okay my friends, next chapter is going to be the big scene. HOOOORAY :D _

_i figured how i set it up sort of helped with the 'jacob' problem. even though its not very creative and i could have gone into a LOT more detail. _


	11. Hospitalized

**A:N/** _hey guys, hows it going in whoknowswheresville? enjoy your chapter! Oh, and i'm going to ramble for a second because I want this chapter to have more words than chapter 7. [even if it is just in the authors note] :D_

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing, shouldn't you realize that by now?_

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I woke up a early again, feeling the pressure let up in my head as I slipped out of my warm, comfortable bed. I'd almost crawled back into bed, but I knew that Alice would be coming at eleven for me. I looked at the clock, noting that I had more than enough time. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep again.

I walked downstairs, grabbing the pancake mix. Charlie had to go to work today, because some workers called in sick, and I figured making him breakfast would boost his mood. I dumped the mix into the bowl, adding some water and grabbing a long wooden spoon. I mixed it together slowly, knowing that I would be done by the time Charlie got out of the shower. I poured the batter into the frying pan, letting it sizzle and brown before flipping it. I set the warm pancakes on the table, grabbing the syrup and the silverware.

Charlie came plodding down the stairs. When he saw the scene in front of him he paused for a moment, surprised, then sat down. I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to be so positive, I hadn't been doing much besides lounge around. I'd barely shown him how good a cook I was. I didn't want any food though, I'd lost my appetite for some reason, but I sat with him while he ate.

"Mornin' Bells," he greeted me, burying his knife and fork into the steaming pancakes. He brought it to his mouth, closing his eyes as he ate. "These are amazing, Bells. You have to start making me breakfast more often."

I managed a weak smile, glancing at the clock. He saw me look and eyed me cautiously. I like Charlie mainly for the reason he didn't pry, simply asked questions. If I didn't want to answer, then I didn't have to, and that was that.

"Do you have plans today?" He questioned me, watching me face. I nodded, explaining about the shopping trip with Alice.

"You, shopping?" He asked, puzzled. I nodded, explaining how I was cornered and didn't want to turn her down, and that she was nice. Alice, the maybe vampire. Edward, could they really be the impossible? Did such things really exist?

When I was finished cleaning after breakfast I stepped into the shower. I felt the warm water run down my body, twisting my neck to loosen the knots. I used my favorite shampoo, strawberry, and drenched my hair in it. When the water started to run cold I rinsed and jumped out, grabbing a giant towel and wrapping it around my shivering body.

I went to the sink, staring at my reflection. My face was flushed from the heat of the shower, but also from the fear and excitement churning in my stomach. I brushed my teeth slowly, spending at least thirty seconds on each tooth. I dried off my body, opting to let my hair dry by itself for the most part. I put on my usual make up: a little mascara and foundation. Then I cleaned up my mess and made my way to my bedroom.

I sat on my bed for a minute, debating what to wear to a shopping trip. My nose crinkled in disgust at the word, and I pondered for a moment how shopping could be an enjoyable experience to a person. I finally gave up, knowing it really wouldn't make a difference anyways. I was just plain old Bella, destined for a life of simplicity and normal fashion sense. I threw on jeans and a striped shirt and threw my hair into a high ponytail. I knew already I didn't stand a chance against Alice.

I had more than enough time, almost a full hour before Alice was supposed to come. I heard my phone ring shrilly from the other room, and I scrambled to grab it. I dashed down the stairs, tripping on the last one and cutting my arm slightly. I muttered under my breath, reaching the phone and flipping it open just in time.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly, examining the cut on my arm. It was small, just enough to be an annoyance. My eyes were already turning away from my arm when I doubled back quickly. Around my wrists were dark, purple marks the shape of fingerprints. My mind flashed quickly to last night, with Edward muttering about my arms. Had he known this was going to happen?

I'd almost forgotten about the phone when I heard a shrill but wary voice on the other line.

"Bella, its Alice. Uh, I don't know if us doing the shopping experience today is a good idea. Edward's not feeling well, and I think I might have caught the bug. We'll um, see you Monday. And Bella, I'm awfully sorry it has to be like this."

The phone clicked for a second, then went dead. I heard the dial tone and stared at the phone in my hand like it was deadly. It fell from my grasp, landing on the ground and making a loud clattering noise. That broke me from my daze long enough to bend over and pick up the phone.

"Something wrong?" Charlie asked, walking into the kitchen. I shook my head, trying to collect my thoughts. It all made sense until she said 'sorry it has to be like this'. Why would she say that? It didn't make any sense, and I couldn't make my mind understand.

"What happened to your arms?" He exclaimed, coming over to lift them up to his eyes. It wasn't like last night though, and I was lost in thought, trying to decipher why she'd been so abrupt. Her voice had sounded so apologetic and sincere that I was tempted to call back, but I decided not to say anything.

"It's nothing, Charlie. I bruise easily," I said, which was true. I did bruise easily, but he'd known I was going to have bruises, and now Alice won't come shopping with me and Edward can't come eat. I found it hard to buy the sick story for some reason, shaking off Charlie's grasp.

"What were you doing that you bruised?" He asked skeptically. I lied, easily somehow, and told him that I was pretend fighting with Angela for drama class, and that she'd grabbed my arms too tightly. He seemed to buy it, letting me escape to the living room. He didn't question me the rest of the weekend, opting instead to watch 'the game' on the TV.

0o0o0o0o0

I guess I was expecting them to be better by Monday, but that wasn't the case. School was louder, as if their absence allowed some sort of normality back in the halls of the high school. Kids were laughing, throwing things and screaming to each other. I slipped into my seat on time, dazing when the teachers talked. Lunch was loud at our table still, but Jessica noted Edward's absence.

"Where did he go?" She asked, her eyes sad. I told her that Alice and Edward were sick, but as I glanced at the other table I saw Alice chatting with the rest of the Cullens. She glanced over at me at the exact same time, her eyes locking for a moment before turning away. The rest of the Cullen family glanced at me, unapologetic looks on their faces.

I still wasn't eating, mainly because I spent the whole day trying to figure out Alice's odd message from Saturday. I wasn't going to tell anybody about it, though, and I wasn't going to tell them about my thoughts. I didn't want anybody thinking I was crazy, although I very well might have been.

I managed to get through the rest of the school day, going home and collapsing on the couch. I turned on the television, flipping it to a news channel. Then I fell asleep, dreaming about little nothings.

I woke with a start, coughing. It felt like my lungs were going to burst from the sheer agony of opening my mouth. Charlie found me like that an hour later when he came back from work. I was sweating and panting; my throat felt like somebody was trying to strangle me.

Charlie got me a glass of water and called the hospital. Forks was such a small town they didn't have a doctors office, so the hospital was the place everybody called for medical help. They said to take me in, so I unwillingly dumped my suddenly heavy body into the passenger seat.

The ride seemed longer than it should have, and my throat burned and ached. It felt similar to having a golf ball lodged in the back of my throat. A very, very large golf ball. By the time we pulled into the parking lot I was struggling to swallow. Charlie put an arm around my shoulder, guiding me into the bright hallways. He led me into a waiting room and patted my arm sympathetically before going to the check in counter. He came back a moment later with another glass of water.

"Drink this," he said softly, lifting it to my lips. I took it, sipping reluctantly as it burned my throat. Was it even possible for water to burn?

The wait seemed to take forever, so I watched a cartoon on the television to waste some time.

"Bella Swan?"

I turned to look at a short woman in a brightly colored nurse's outfit standing by the door. I followed her, tripping slightly over my feet as I neared the door. She caught me just in time, laughing.

"You must be dizzy, no?" She spoke in an accent I couldn't place, but it was pretty. I wanted to ask her where she was from, but as soon as I opened my mouth I closed it again. I wasn't risking the pain.

Charlie came in with me. We were in the emergency room, he told me in a whisper as we walked down the hall. The scent of blood filled my nose, and I struggled to ease my breathing. I was getting a headache, and I was afraid I was going to pass out. I struggled to balance, collapsing on the ground.

_Laying on the ground, staring at my mother. Her body, bloody and lifeless before my eyes. The scent of her blood filled my lungs, and I turned to throw up beside me. _

_Watching TV when I was five, getting up and running into the counter. Blood seeping out of my arm. I cried, and my mother came and put a band aid on it. I told her it smelled bad, she said people can't smell blood. _

_Anna Thompson, running into the fence in fourth grade and breakin__g her glasses. A cut in her cheek, bleeding on the pavement. Me, trying to help but throwing up. _

My eyes fluttered open, staring up at a bright white light. A beautiful man was leaning over me, taking notes. When he saw I'd opened my eyes he smiled at me, flashing a set of perfectly straight, white teeth.

"Hello Bella," he said, scribbling something down on his pad. "My name is Carlisle Cullen. You scared us for a bit back there!" He laughed, a sweet, melodic sound. I smiled weakly; this must be Edward's father.

"The smell of blood is a little much for me," I croaked, feeling my throat. He glanced at me for a moment, as though he was seeing me in a different light. He looked at me curiously before pressing a cool hand to my throat. I flinched automatically, but he laughed again in that sweet, wonderful sound.

"I'll be right back," Charlie said, sliding open the glass door and stepping out. I saw him head for the lunch room and wondered absently how long I'd been out. I glanced at the clock, realizing it must have been hours. It was ten o'clock, and a quick glance out the window told me I'd missed sunset by a long while.

"You have a fever, Bella. My examinations tell me that you also have tonsillitis, very similar to strep but slightly more painful. I'll give you some medication to help the pain, and it should go away in a few days. You'll need to take it easy for the rest of this week, I recommend lots of sleep and to gargle with salt water twice a day. Oh, and I'm sure you know not to swallow the water, we wouldn't want to have to see you back in this place any time soon!" He laughed. I struggled to remember everything he'd said, nodding when I thought I'd got it all.

"You have a mild concussion from your fall, you hit something on your way down to the ground. Caused a bit of a fuss over there, I will admit. No bleeding, no stitches, so you don't have to worry about that. It should go away soon, but we're going to keep you here overnight to monitor your condition." I nodded, figuring this was as normal as anything.

"How's Edward?" My voice was shaky and crackling, nothing like normal. I felt my face flush in embarrassment at my voice; it sounded like dragging something over pavement, and the feeling wasn't much different. He paused, halfway to the door and turned back to me. His eyes were sympathetic for a reason I couldn't understand, and he smiled sadly at me.

"Edward's very ill. We don't know what's wrong with him. We sent him to a special hospital in Utah, and they're running a series of tests. We're afraid that he may not come back to Forks." For some reason I didn't believe him, and I knew my gaze looked doubtful.

"He seemed fine Friday night," I protested, pointing out the obvious. "He called Rosalie and they got in the car together and left. He didn't look at all sick to me."

"It was quick. Rosalie drove him straight to the hospital here to see me. I got in connection with some friends in Utah and we sent him there. We're going to be moving next week possibly, to be closer to him. They don't know if he's going to make it."

I gasped, involuntary tears threatening to brim over my eyes. I blinked furiously, fighting them back. I was mad too, because something in his expression screamed liar.

"Can I call him?" I whispered quietly, gauging his reaction. Something flashed across his face -pity? Joy?- before he smoothed it over with a mask of sadness. A mask, exactly that, hiding the truth.

"He's probably having tests right now, Bella," Carlisle said, glancing around the room.

"I'll leave a message. I just want to tell him good luck. Please?" I asked, trying not to make my voice accusing. It came out pleading, which I figured would work. I didn't want him thinking I was on to them.

"I don't see why not," he said reluctantly, pulling a phone out of his pocket. I didn't think that you were supposed to use phones in a hospital, but I figured the best doctor in town would know what he was doing. So I accepted the phone he placed carefully in my hands. He stepped out of the room, saying he'd be back after he used the restroom. I nodded, looking up Edward in his contact list.

I dialed, listening to the rings with a beating, pounding heart.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

He answered on the third, his voice silky and healthy, just as I'd suspected.

"Edward?" I said, although my anger and confusion made it come out a question. He was supposed to be sick, but his voice was as smooth and addicting as ever.

"Bella," he answered cautiously.

"How are you? I hear you're in Utah and about to die," I mentioned offhand, as though I were talking about the weather. I heard him sigh into the phone. "Because you know, I just had a minor thing of my own. I get a concussion, and tonsillitis."

"Are you okay?" He sounded worried, and I ignored the fact my throat was burning.

"I'm glad you care so much, Edward," I told him sarcastically. "Now seriously, you're not sick. And I find it hard to believe you're in Utah, so what's going on?" I was surprised at how strong my voice sounded, how sure I was. My voice was cracking, and sounded horrible, but I could muster enough strength to talk to him. I needed to find out what was going on.

He sighed again, and the sound was so beautiful, even with the crackling static of the phone.

"Bella Swan, you are enough to drive a man mad," he said, anger in his voice. I flinched, tempted to slam the phone shut.

"Tell me, Edward. You owe me that much." The other end of the line was quiet, and I pulled the phone back to check that he hadn't hung up on me. The timer on the screen kept ticking, so I put it back to my ear.

"Why are you calling me?" He said suddenly, angry and wary. I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Glad to see you miss me," I muttered sarcastically, "Edward, Carlisle said you were sick. There are _bruises_ on my arm. You knew somehow I was going to have those. I want you to stop lying to me!" I let out an exasperated sigh, twisting on the bed to face the window. Charlie was standing there, about to open it. He glanced at me, then the phone, and made a motion back to the kitchen. I nodded and he turned and walked back in the direction of the food court. Then I flipped over to face the ceiling. I waited for his reply, counting the dots on the white plaster.

"Why don't you just say it?" He muttered. I went to answer him when I realized he was no longer speaking on the phone. I turned, shocked, to see him leaning against the glass door. He was so quiet I hadn't even heard it open. I took in his presence, his angry stance and the tight, grim line of his mouth set against his clenched jaw.

"Say what?" I stammered, surprised by his sudden appearance. "And visiting hours are over, you know."

He ignored the second half of my question, frowning at me.

"You know exactly what you want to say," he said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I just want to know," I whispered, struggling to find the words. "I don't want you to think I'm crazy or something. I'm not sure I really believe it myself."

Suddenly he was in my face, his eyes dark and angry. He spoke, his voice low and menacing. I shivered in fear, creeping away from him as much I could on the bed.

"You know just what you want to say. Say it," he commanded. I whimpered and watched his reaction. He relaxed, his eyes calming over for a half second before returning to their previous glare.

"Vampire," I whispered. I was thankful I didn't have a heart monitor on, because my heart was pounding. He relaxed, collapsing in the chair beside my bed.

"Are you afraid?" I waited for a minute so I knew my answer would be true.

"No," I whispered. He looked up, locking eyes with me. I felt my stomach somersault and my throat scratch against my throat. I'd almost forgotten it, but the pain made itself evident now. I moaned, tossing myself on the bed.

It made sense, in my mind, that Edward would be a vampire. Vampires are mysterious and most of all, mythical. Edward was in many ways, too good to be true.

He pressed a cool hand to my forehead, but his eyes were still wary, watching my face with intent eyes. His hands were comforting around my face, taking some of the heat away.

"Why aren't you scared?" He asked when I was calmed down. He seemed upset, angry even. I stared at him with confused eyes, then feigned mock horror.

"Do you want me to be scared?" I asked, glancing at him.

"What do I eat, then, Bella?" He ignored my question, staring into my eyes. I will admit, the question stopped me for a moment, but I recovered quickly.

"I don't know," I whispered, "But you won't hurt me." I was confident of this, but even so, natural instinct sent my heart racing as I waited for his answer. The clock read ten-thirty, and nobody was in the hallway. He could kill me now, and nobody would even realize what had happened. Carlisle would know, though.

"Bella, we don't eat humans," he said, reading my reaction. "Yes, we. Our entire family are vampires." He sighed, pinching his nose together with his fingers.

"You mustn't tell anyone, Bella," he said, glancing at me with agonized eyes. "It would destroy our family."

"I wasn't going to tell anybody, Edward. Didn't you know that?" My head was spinning, trying to deal with it. The answer, Edward being a vampire, made me feel better somehow. At least now I knew that his being so splendidly perfect wasn't just to make me feel horrible.

" What now?" It seemed like a reasonable question to ask, and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch at how blasé I sounded.

"I do apologize for my rudeness to you, I truly, ridiculously, felt it was necessary at the time. Avoiding you seemed logical, keeping you from harm," he said, smiling apologetically at me.

"So are you going to avoid me?" I mumbled, looking away from him. I felt his hands, even cooler than normal thanks to my temperature, gently turn my face to him. I knew my face was flushing, forced to look into his eyes. His cool breath washed over my face, causing my heartbeat to speed up.

"I gave up avoiding you a long time ago, Bella," he said softly. I tried to focus my thoughts to form a response, but I couldn't manage one. After a moment he pulled away, chuckling to himself.

"You're staying the night here, huh?" He was sitting in the chair now, his legs slung over one side casually, his arms behind his neck. He was staring at me, amused. "You're very clumsy, do you realize that?"

I scowled at him, throwing my pillow. He caught it with ease, snatching it out of the air more quickly then I realized. He saw my arms then, a frown carving itself into his features.

"I apologize, those look simply horrible."

I glanced at my arms. The sleeves had pushed up when I'd thrown the pillow, revealing the deep purple markings on my arms. I shrugged and motioned for my pillow back. He came up and lifted my shoulders, slipping the pillow under my head. He glanced at the bruises, sighing. Then he pushed me gently against the pillows.

"Sleep, Bella," he whispered. "You need your rest to get better."

He started to leave when I felt myself open my mouth, despite the pain that ripped through my mouth.

"Edward, stay, please," I begged. My voice was scratchy, and I caught my reflection in the window. My face was even paler than normal, but my cheeks were flushed with exhaustion. He sighed, and in one sinuous movement he was sitting in the chair again. I stared at where he was standing previously and back to where he was now lounging with his hand behind his head, smiling at me. I blinked, expecting him to appear where he was before.

"All part of being a vampire," he said, smiling at me. His teeth were brilliantly white, and I saw now how dangerous they appeared. I felt a shiver creep up my spine, but I was careful not to let it show on my face.

"Vampire," I marveled, glancing at him. I felt my face flush as I thought of a question, shifting my gaze to the floor. He was there again, lifting my face gently with his fingers.

"What is it?" He asked gently. I shook my head, refusing to answer.

"Won't you tell me?" His breath blew into my face gently, washing over me. I inhaled it, savoring the scent. I couldn't deny those eyes, that voice, so I voiced a shaky and painful answer.

"I was just wondering…" I took a moment to pause and gather my thoughts. His hands had released my face, and I saw him grow impatient. After a moment he let out a cry, curling his hands into fists.

"Bella! What is it?" He exclaimed, aggravated. I saw his eyes, though, which looked kind.

"Why are you so impatient?" I asked, avoiding my question. He smiled at me, flashing his teeth and dazzling me again.

"I can…Well, I have…" He searched for wording, and it was the first time I'd ever seen him search for words. It amazed me, because it seemed so _normal. _A person like Edward didn't usually have to hunt for words, but here he was, struggling to phrase a sentence to tell me something that must be important. I held my breath, waiting for his answer. It took a long while, my breath was shaky as I let out a whoosh of air, inhaling another deep breath. The clock was ticking loudly, knocking off seconds of my life. I had so many questions, but I waited patiently for him to answer me.

"I can read minds, Bella," he said after a moment, the smile returning. "Everybody, except for you. I don't know why, nor does Carlisle."

I tried to form a sentence, failing miserably.

"Read…minds?" I asked stupidly, shaking my head. I blinked, as though maybe by doing this I would wake up from some dream. I pinched myself, just to be sure. No, this was very, very real.

"Yes. Right now Carlisle, yes, he knows I'm here, is debating whether or not to come check in on you. About…two minutes, I'd bet. Charlie's on his way back up. He's very worried about you, you know. I believe he's going to tell you 'I don't want to lose you', or at least something along those lines. He's joking though, he knows you're not going to die. He's thinking about when you were little, and how you'd fall. Anyway, do you think it wise that Charlie know I'm here?"

I thought it through quickly, shaking my head unwillingly after a moment. He stood, smiled at me and stretched.

"I trust you Bella," he said seriously, his voice smooth like silk. "Please, tell nobody I was here, and tell nobody about us. I'll see you."

He was gone before I could even blink. There was no sign he'd ever been in my room. The door was closed, the windows locked tightly.

"Edward!" I whispered angrily, yet elated. I heard his ghostly chuckled, causing me to smile.

He trusted me enough to tell me his secret. He trusted me enough to not lie to me anymore, to keep his family's absurd and ridiculously impossible truth. The Cullen's were all vampires, but they didn't feast on the blood of humans. Apparently, those were just mythical legends; vampires didn't feast on the blood of humans. I felt a new respect for them, a secret gratitude that I didn't have to fear Edward.

And it was true, I didn't fear Edward. He made me feel safe, even when all the impossible was happening around me. My mother, dead; he comforted me, letting me tell everything to him. I knew that even humans would have a hard time doing that. I felt deeply grateful that I'd met him.

Vampire or not, he was one of the best friend's I'd ever had.

Even in this short amount of time, or with our fighting and arguing, I felt like he was a person I could go to for comfort. I liked that, more than anything.

I heard a knock on the door and Carlisle slipped inside. I smiled weakly at him, to which he returned a smile more dazzling than any human could ever manage.

"Is that part of being a vampire?" I questioned him, voicing the thought I was too embarrassed to ask Edward. He didn't seem at all shocked that I knew their secret, but he did seem a little wary of my reactions as he spoke.

"The beauty? Yes, it's so that our prey are attracted to us." He frowned sadly, glancing out the window. It was raining, bouncing against the window.

"Your prey?" I asked, looking at my arms.

"Yes, for many vampires, humans our the prey. The beauty brings in the person, making it much too easy to catch," he gauged my reaction and smiled sadly, "We can't all be good, Bella."

I took a shaky breath. I didn't know why Edward didn't hunt humans, but I'd assumed that the stories may have been wrong. I didn't think for a second that there were others out there who would want to kill me.

"Why don't you hunt humans?" I asked him curiously, once I'd regained my composure. My throat was throbbing, but I forced myself to speak. I was dying to learn more about him, about Edward.

"I was turned a very long time ago. My father was a very high priest in my time. He had a deep love for every man, woman and child. He was known for his caring attitude and compassion, and I was being taught to become a priest. When I was changed, I thought I was dying. Being turned is an extremely painful process, you see, and I wished for death for days. When it passed I awoke to find the impossible. I had more speed, sight, and hearing abilities than I'd ever imagined. But my throat burned, and I didn't know what to do to cure it. I went into town, expecting nothing but shelter and food. When I saw a woman, though, I thirsted for her. My instincts told me exactly what to do: lunge, attack, and kill.

"The thought of killing humans, of taking somebody's life, disgusted me. I ran from her and hid for years, eventually, I found that I could go in public and not hurt anybody. The rest of my family have similar stories. Edward doesn't hunt humans because he thinks he's a monster. He hates himself for what he is, Bella. Of course, he had no power over becoming what he is today. I was forced to change him during the Spanish Influenza when his mother was sick. It was her dying wish, and I couldn't deny her that. My family cares for humans, Bella. We like to think that we're not evil, that somehow we can conquer our instincts and help others."

The door opened then, and Carlisle switched into rambling off medical facts. Charlie slid in Edward's seat, leaning his elbows on his knees and sighing.

"We'll monitor your progress, Bella. Remember, get some sleep tonight. I know you have a lot on your mind, what with school and all," I saw him wink at me, "But if you don't get proper rest tonight it will damage your healing process. Try not to speak, either."

He smiled at me, sliding the door open and exiting. Charlie stood up and paced the room.

"Charlie I'm fine," I croaked. He ran next to me, practically throwing the water in my face.

"Don't talk! Just drink! Don't talk! Just drink!" He sounded like a broken record, trying to force the water down my throat. I was torn between laughing and glaring at him, finally settling on doing neither and just taking the water. I drank it slowly, trying to make it slide its way past the giant lump in my throat.

"You okay, Bella? I don't want to lose you, you know," he chuckled, laughing. I was momentarily stunned by his words, fighting not to spit up my water. It was just as Edward had said. I hadn't entirely believed the mind reading stunt, in all honesty, but now I couldn't deny it. I nodded in response to his question, smiling weakly at him.

"You don't have to go to school the rest of this week. Dr. Carlisle met me in the hall to talk to me privately and said he didn't think it would be smart for you to attend school. Something about your concussion, I don't know, but he's the doctor and I guess it's better to trust the doctor. I'll stay here for the night, if you want."

I shook my head, feeling guilty when I saw his expression. I put up a finger, signaling to give me a moment.

"You need rest, Charlie," I said slowly, pausing between each word to take a breath. "You have…work, tomorrow. You should…sleep. In your own bed." I nodded when I was done, satisfied. I was sure I looked like I was proud of myself, but I was just very, very tired.

"Okay," he said unwillingly, although he saw my logic. "I'll be back before work though, and I'll leave money for you to get some food. Are you going to be okay?" I nodded, and he grunted, satisfied enough. He left a twenty on the table, saying that he was going to bring more in the morning.

He kissed my head quickly, dashing out the door and no doubt, to the house to get some sleep. Charlie and I were both very bad at expressing our emotions. I sighed, thinking about how he cared for me, giving me water and driving me to the hospital when I first woke up. At least I knew he cared enough to leave me some money. I eyed it, feeling my stomach rumble. I wasn't very hungry though, even if I knew I should eat. Thinking about food just made my stomach queasy though, and I hoped I'd be better in the morning. Or at least, well enough to stomach some food.

I decided to have a stare down with the bill, folded neatly on the table. I glared at it, willing it to appear in my hand. I glanced at the clock, noting that it was eleven thirty. How long would they keep me here for? I sighed, closing my eyes and willing sleep to come. After a half our I opened my eyes and gasped quietly.

Edward stood, leaning against the wall with his arms draped carelessly at his sides. He watched me, an amused smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Nice heartbeat," he murmured. I felt my cheeks blush violently, saw his grin become more pronounced.

"You can hear that?" I asked, trying to switch the subject.

"I can hear…everything."

"Everything?" He nodded, crossing the room to sit on the edge of my bed.

"It's going crazy," he noted. I blushed, smacking him lightly on the arm. It hurt me more than it probably hurt him.

"Well maybe if you weren't spying on me and scared me half to death it would be totally fine," I said. My voice was so terrible it was almost embarrassing, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I doubt it," he said sarcastically. "I heard your conversation with Carlisle, by the way."

"You were spying!" I exclaimed, but I was secretly thrilled. In answer to me he tapped his head with his finger, smiling.

"He can't help thinking it, sometimes," he said, then looked at me. "You know, we're really not that beautiful."

I gaped at him, trying to see if he was kidding. A smile broke out on his face and he laughed.

"Okay, yes, maybe we are. But we are nothing, Bella," he said quietly, suddenly serious. "We're monsters, and I want you to believe that. I need you to believe that."

I shook my head, dismissing it quickly.

"You could easily kill me right now, Edward," I pointed out. "But you're not. You know why? Because you're fighting against yourself, that's not something a monster does."

"Your blood smells amazing, Bella, better than a normal humans. Emmett and Alice say you smell good, but they dont...crave you like I do," he said, but his eyes were golden and light, and I felt no fear looking in them. "I find it hard sometimes to not attack you. I don't know…if I can control myself…around you. I could kill you." He sounded agonized, his voice cracking on the word kill. I reached a hand out, putting it on his. He pulled it away, and I tried to hold in the rejected expression that must have been threatening to take over my face.

"You are _not_ going to hurt me Edward," I said. I knew this was true, that no matter what happened he would protect me and keep me safe. He looked at my hand and sighed, reaching over to take mine gently in his.

"I'm sorry about that," he murmured, "I'm just not used to people trying to be this close to me. It's very new to me."

I laughed and he glanced at me, slightly annoyed, probably thinking I was laughing at him. His eyes were curious though, and I lifted a finger to tell him to wait a moment.

"I just thought, we're both horrible with humans!" I laughed again and he smiled, nodding. My voice was starting to sound worse, and he noticed it then.

"Go to sleep, Bella," he said, pushing my shoulders gently down against the bed. "You're not supposed to even be talking. Carlisle just told me that if you don't sleep I'm going to get into trouble."

"I have lots of questions!" I said, fighting a losing battle against my eyelids. He chuckled, holding my shoulders against the mattress.

"We have all week for you to ask questions. You don't have to go to school, and I'm in Utah, remember?" My heart stuttered as I realized this. I got to relax at home for a whole week and get all of my questions answered. What could be better than that?

"Just one question," I murmured, realizing once more how tired I was.

"Yes, Bella?" He said, slightly impatient, but I saw his eyes were bright with something I couldn't identify. He handed me two pills and I took them naturally, realizing they were for pain; they also put you to sleep.

"Why did you come here?" My voice was weak and failing, but my eyes were working fine. I saw his expression soften as he brushed his fingers from my hairline to my neck. I felt his fingers pause at my neck, feeling the swollen bumps there.

"I couldn't just leave you," he whispered, brushing my hair away from my face. "You're so sick, I felt guilty just leaving. I'll go now, though, to let you sleep."

"Don't you dare," I said, fighting sleep. I pressed my voice to keep speaking, and it unwillingly obliged. He chuckled lightly, and it was the most amazing sound I'd ever heard. I knew now though, that it was to lure me in so he could feast on my blood. But I also knew that Edward was strong enough to resist my blood, even if he didn't think so himself.

"Sleep, Bella. I will still be here in the morning." He brushed his lips swiftly across my forehead and I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. I knew that without his help I couldn't have, but he was so shocked he obliged without thinking.

"Thank you for being my friend," I whispered, letting him go. He nodded, still lost in his thoughts. I saw his eyes, dark suddenly, and shivered. Hugging him may have been a bad idea, but I trusted him enough. After a moment his tight jaw relaxed and he smiled at me, his eyes lightening.

"It's my pleasure, Bella. Now sleep."

I felt myself relax and give in. I closed my eyes and turned on my side, falling asleep almost immediately. My dreams were wonderful and bright and happy. My dreams were of Edward.

* * *

**A:N/**_ yay, nay? I'm trying to not rush this, as hard as it is. Looking forward to the week of questions? Not? Let me know what you think! I love you and all of your pretty reviews!_

_i'm curious as to what you're listening to! what's your current favorite song?_


	12. Together

**A:N/** _i'm way too bored for my own good. here you go, a whole new chapter. no, i will never call them chappies, chaps, or chaperoonies (but i think i did once in an earlier chapter) -sigh-_

**Disclaimer:** _Stephenie owns all :D_

* * *

I woke suddenly to a bright light shining in my eye.

"What the-" I started, blinking furiously. I heard Edward's low chuckle and reached out to smack him, though I couldn't even make out his shadow against the overwhelming light that was trained directly at my face.

"Carlisle told me to wake you up every few hours," he said, snickering. "I was just mildly curious if you still had your concussion, and this seemed significantly more entertaining." Edward's soft velvety voice spoke softly against the hushed hospital room, feigning innocence. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly; I wasn't quite ready to wake up yet.

"Leave me be Edward," I complained, trying to put as much annoyance in my voice that I could manage. I twisted over on the bed, flipping to get in a more comfortable position. He chuckled softly again, and I sighed, letting the musical melody fill my head. I was both surprised and secretly elated that he'd stayed, even if he had told me he was going to. He trained the flashlight away from my face enough that I could open my eyes a smidgen and glance at his face. Even though he'd just been enjoying himself, he now looked over me seriously, and I felt myself growing self conscious.

He pressed a cool hand to my forehead, switching off the flashlight. I could no longer see him, could no longer look at his eyes, darker now than earlier. But I knew he was frowning when he spoke.

"You're even warmer than before," he murmured softly. "Go back to sleep."

He handed me two pills and I swallowed eagerly; anything to help with the pain. Then I closed my eyes and let myself drift back into a light, carefree sleep.

The next to awaken me was a tall, pretty nurse. She didn't wake me up nearly as rudely, switching on a small light in the corner. I glanced around for Edward, starting to panic. He was nowhere to be seen.

"Your temperature is rising," she noted, scribbling something on a clipboard. "Your chart says you have tonsillitis, so I'll just give you these pills and you can go back to sleep. Somebody will come in in the next few hours to wake you again." She smiled kindly at me, misreading my frustration for being woken up, instead of not seeing Edward. "Don't worry, I know it's a pain, but if you have a concussion its fairly easy to get very seriously ill without proper precautions."

I nodded, seeing just how nice she really was. She had long wavy blonde hair, unnaturally long legs and a gorgeous smile. Her long, tanned fingers tapped the chart, trying to read something in the limited light. When she saw something she liked, her green eyes lit up with understanding, and she nodded once.

"Dr. Carlisle says that I just have to come in every few hours, waking you up. It's about…" she checked her watch, frowning for a moment. "Yes, it's nearly two-thirty. I should be back in-" She cut off, glancing at the door.

"Uh, excuse me?" A voice smoother than honey asked. I saw the girl glance over, first with authority, then flustered and stammering when she caught his long, elegant form leaning against the door. What was going on?

"Y-yes?" She stammered, momentarily at a loss for words. She smoothed her silky, perfect hair down, batting her eyelashes a few times and throwing him a smile. After a moment she seemed to realize her duties and spared me a quick glance, as though I was a pain to have to deal with. "I'm sorry, you're not supposed to be in here."

I felt so plain next to her, standing there looking flustered but beautiful, a flirty smile aimed in his direction. I felt like I was intruding, this model beautiful female talking to the stunning Edward that I'd dreamt of so many times. My friend, the boy who would never, ever return my feelings. But who was I to blame him? I was so simple, so clumsy and ordinary. Here stood a pretty nurse, long legs and a stunning smile, just like him. Model talking to model. I shrank in my sheets, trying to give them some privacy.

He threw her a dazzling smile, and I was instantly jabbed with the sharp pang of jealousy. Her back was turned, but I could just make out the side of her face as she beamed back at him. Of course he would want to talk to her, it shouldn't make me feel so sad.

He kept up his confused façade, however, opening his eyes wide as he glanced at me, wrapped tightly under the blankets. I hid my blushing face from him, burying myself further under the blankets. I could no longer hear their conversation, only making out snippets of it. Her voice was clear, loud and pronounced. His was calmer, quieter, and it was more difficult to hear.

"I believe I may be in the wrong room," I heard him chuckle. I lifted the blankets away from my face to see him start to back away out the door. He caught my eye and smiled at me, my favorite crooked grin, stopping my breathing for a moment. "Do you know where…Ah, never mind. I apologizing for interrupting."

"No!" She yelled, then looked down at the floor and laughed nervously. "I mean…we were just wrapping up here. I can show you to your friend's room, or the kitchen." My eyes bulged, was she serious? She winked at him, and I tried to hide my blushing face. I was still in the room! She was trying to steal my friend!

"I'll be fine, thank you," he said politely, smiling at her. It wasn't his crooked grin though, and I knew he must be very uncomfortable. She seemed to realize I was there, in the room still, when he left. She muttered to herself while she scribbled something on the chart. Then she left, not even saying another word to me. I didn't really like her anymore.

It was quiet for a moment before I felt a change in the atmosphere. It seemed…full, now. Complete.

"Edward?" I whispered, reaching out into the darkness. I felt his presence kneeling beside my bed; felt his cool breath wash over my face, its sweet scent intoxicating.

"Yes, Bella?" He asked quietly.

"What was that about?" I asked hoarsely, my voice croaking. I felt him put something in my hand, and I swallowed the pills.

"I had to make sure you knew I was here, obviously," he said, chuckling. "I saw you panicking. It was quite amusing, really, if I may say so." I stuck my tongue out at him childishly, heard his soft chuckle dance around the room.

"Bella, you need to rest." His tone was serious, but I knew better. I rolled over, trying to get in a more comfortable spot. I stared at the ceiling for a moment, my mind and heart racing.

"I can't sleep," I said, knowing it was true. I sounded so little, but I didn't care. I wanted to sit here and talk to him. I wanted my questions answered. I wanted the pain in my throat to go away. He chuckled softly, humming an unfamiliar tune. It was soft and pure, it was so peaceful I drifted into unconsciousness almost immediately.

_"Mommy?" I called, stumbling down the steps. I felt different, like there was too much of me and too little of my body. I tripped my way into the kitchen, grabbing onto a chair. I tried to sit in it, but I couldn't get my body to jump high enough. Finally I looked around, finding a stool. I bent over and placed it beside the chair, sliding into my seat. _

_"Yes?" A soft, lovely voice answered. My mother, young and vibrant, walked into the kitchen. She held a frying pan, scrambled eggs and sausage already dished out on my plate. I dug in, my little hands grabbing as much as I could. _

_"I love scamble eggs, mommy," I sang, trying to fit an entire sausage link into my mouth. The grease smeared on my face, running down to my jaw. My mother laughed, leaning over to cut them herself. _

_"We're going to have to teach you to cut your food soon, Bella," she said, smiling. She took the knife in her hands, looked at it carefully. _

_Suddenly the room shifted, I was standing now, older. _

_I crawled downstairs, hearing the constant thumping. My mother was standing there, throwing the knife against the wall. The room was dark, except for the big, empty hole in the wall. Light so bright shone through it I thought I was going to go blind. _

_"Goodbye," my mother said, frowning. No 'I love you', she didn't even acknowledge my name. _

_"No, mom," I whispered, pleading with her. She didn't even cast me a glance as she stuck her toe into the hole. She pulled back, debating, but her toe was no longer there. No blood, it just wasn't any longer. She giggled, pleased with this, and stuck her hand in. I watched as she marveled at herself before lifting her hands gracefully above her hands and diving in the hole. _

_"Mom! No!" I cried, running over. I was meaningless, there was absolutely nothing to keep me here in this world anymore. I prepared to dive after her, give up this world and all of its horror, when I heard a cry. _

_I followed the sound, winding my way through the house, stumbling. I opened the sliding door, into a new, brighter light. _

_"What is this?" I stepped forward into the light, looking at what was before me. The world was so bright, it was amazing how just inside I was ready to give it all up. _

_"Who are you?" I asked the mysterious person. He said nothing, handing me a small toddler with bright green eyes and curly hair. She smiled, proudly displaying a dimple and one tooth. I knew I should know her, knew that somehow, we were connected. She said one word, and suddenly I remembered. It was foggy, but I knew enough. _

_"Annabel?" The name seemed familiar enough, like I should know it. He smiled in encouragement, and suddenly I knew his name too. _

_"Scott?" He beamed at me, the tiny girl clapping her hands. _

_"Sissy," she said, repeating the word. I found myself crying, tears of happiness streaming down my face. _

_"It was worth it," I said, twirling the little one around in my arms. My sister, my tiny little sister who I could love and hold and be together with. I was so happy, so glad I didn't give up. _

I woke up shaking. My dream was forgotten, I knew I should remember, but I couldn't. I forgot where I was, curling into a ball and rocking back and forth. It was what I always did to calm myself down. It was different though, because these sheets were not mine. They were stiff, uncomfortable. And I heard something speaking. I tried harder to listen, straining my ears to listen to the words that sounded so…heavenly? Yes, that was the word.

"Bella?" It called, anxious. 'Yes?' I wished I could answer. I focused on my eyes first, trying to pry them open against the salty tears. When I did though, I was greeted by darkness.

"Bella? Should I get Carlisle?" Carlisle? I knew him. Suddenly the world shifted, bringing me to the present. I was in the hospital, and Edward was asking if he should get his father to come and look at me.

"No," I said, my voice scratchy. I reached over to turn on the light by my bed, taking in his stunning features. "I just…had a nightmare, I think."

Edward looked at me sadly, flipping off the light. I was annoyed; I wanted to see him. I scowled, slightly irritated, before I realized he was now laying next to me. It was a tiny bed, and he twisted us so we were laying on our sides. I pressed my back into his chest, wishing that we were more than friends. Why oh why did I have to fall for the impossible? He reached an arm around my waist and I closed my eyes, pretending this was different. I pretended that he felt the same as me, that he like me too.

"My mother died when I was young, too," he murmured into my ear. My eyelids were closing, my throat was sore, but my brain was up and running. I fought hard not to shiver at the feeling of his breath in my ear.

"How did she die?" I asked quietly against the darkness of the room. "You don't have to tell me," I added quickly, "I didn't mean to make you feel like you had to tell me."

"Spanish influenza," he said, and suddenly it all clicked. I hadn't put the pieces together when Carlisle had told me earlier, and I gasped suddenly. I felt his arms tighten around me and realized he was holding my breath. My heart sped naturally, but I wasn't scared.

"It may be best," he said slowly, "If you not make any sudden moves." Normally I would have nodded, but all I could do was say okay and try to move as little as possible.

"Wasn't the influenza in the early 1900s?" I asked, bewildered. I recalled Carlisle saying something about how he was changed a very long time ago, but I wasn't thinking then.

"Yes, Bella. You see, vampires don't age." I gasped quietly, but this time he did not hold his breath.

"Interesting," I muttered. I didn't want to talk about that now, didn't want to think about it. I pushed it out of my mind, deciding I would come back to it later.

"She was very pretty," I mumbled, fighting against the haze that threatened to pull me into unconsciousness. I lifted my finger slowly to trace patterns on his bare arm.

"Was she?" He murmured. I laughed sarcastically, regretting it as soon as I did. He was across the room, gazing out the window.

"Sorry," I muttered, knowing he could hear me. He smiled at me sadly, signaling for me to wait a moment. Then he was back laying next to me, his arms wrapped around me again. He lifted my hand to continue tracing patterns and I obliged.

"You just surprised me Bella," he said smoothly.

"Or were you just avoiding the question?" I muttered, blushing naturally. No, I couldn't let him know I liked him. That would severely damage our friendship.

"As if," he said. I felt him smiling beside me as he continued. "I wasn't paying that much attention to her. My intentions were simply to let you know I was here."

"Sure," I said, smiling. I turned my face into the pillow to hide my expression from him. I knew he could feel the heat coming from my cheeks, and I heard him chuckling lightly. I fell asleep more easily than I had in a very, very long time.

I woke to find Charlie standing at the edge of my bed.

"Hey Bells!" He said, smiling. "We're gonna bust you out of this place!" I shot up quickly, glancing the room. Edward was gone, and I sighed.

"Do you feel better?" He said, his mood unaffected by my random jumping up. He waved the clipboard like it was a prize, holding it over his head and grinning. I nodded, even though I felt my throat was sore and scratched up still.

He filled out the papers, handing them to a new nurse. This one was older, mid thirties with short poofed hair. I smiled, genuinely glad I'd be getting out of this place. Charlie uncomfortably handed me a set of clothes. Jeans, a nice shirt and the proper…undergarments.

"Thanks, Charlie," I said, my voice filled with gratitude and embarrassment. He coughed, nodded and left the room. I slipped into the bathroom, washing water over my face. When I was dressed and accepting of my appearance I said goodbye to the hospital bed, the first place Edward lay with me. I remembered it, forcing myself to remind myself that he didn't feel the same way.

I slid into the car with Charlie. The clock told me it was 6:00, and he grinned sheepishly when he saw my look at it.

"I wanted to get you up so we could eat some breakfast," he said, looking out the window. He pulled off the street into the parking lot of his favorite pancake place. I smiled, grateful for food. I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat anything hard, and I was grateful Charlie was at least remembering that in the places he chose. I ordered two pancakes, just in case I was going to feel hungry later and not have my appetite.

"So how was the hospital?" He asked as we waited for our food. He was trying to be a caring parent, and I had to give him props for that.

"Good," I croaked. He handed my a glass of water and two more pills. I took them gratefully, swallowing. I could already feel my throat starting to feel better. The golf ball in the back of my throat was shrinking, and I was completely grateful that the pain was going away slowly.

"How was sleeping in your own bed?" I asked, stretching my vocal abilities to the limit.

"It was better than not," he admitted guiltily. "I still feel bad for leaving you Bells."

I wanted to tell him not to feel bad, that I had a very, very nice night. But I just smiled and said it was okay. Then, before the silence could get uncomfortable, he went to buy a newspaper, coming back to read it silently. I was happy Charlie didn't press me for details, that he let me be to my thoughts.

Our food was at our table before I knew it. I took a tentative bite, feeling the sting as it slid its way around the ball in my throat and down to my stomach. After I was finished with that one I carefully cut another, repeating the process until I had a whole pancake finished off.

"Feeling better?" He asked, stretching and rubbing his stomach. I nodded, and it was true. I did feel considerably better with a solid amount of food in me. I felt more alert, wide awake.

"Good," he said, getting up. We paid for the bill and drove home in silence. I liked the silence though, and I knew that Charlie did too.

When we pulled into the driveway he stopped the car, walking inside with me.

"Remember," he said sternly, "Do not sleep. Nobody's home and I'm not going to have you dying or something. Can you die from concussions?" I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

"I…I don't know," I finally admitted. We laughed for a moment before he shifted uncomfortably.

"I gotta get to work Bells," he said, reopening the door. "Don't worry about food, I'll get some pick up or something on the way back."

"Charlie, I will make you food," I said. "Just because I have a concussion doesn't mean that I don't know how to make some pasta. Dinner will be ready at seven."

"No, Bella," he said, using my first name, which surprised me. "I have to work late tonight. We've got some situations up near the woods that need checked out. It'll probably be like this all week, or at least until its all sorted out." I nodded, a little annoyed. This meant I couldn't sleep for a long time.

Then I remembered Edward's promise, saying he would come by. I felt my heart speed up naturally at the thought, forcing it to slow down. I wondered if he was out there now, listening.

"Remember, no sleeping. Don't cook anything at the stove, stick to cans and vegetables." I'd never heard him be so… fatherly, before. Usually he let me do whatever I wanted, sticking to grunts and mhmms as I did whatever I usually did.

"Yes, Dad, I know," I said. I gave him a hug quickly and he pulled back.

"You know I'm no good with this stuff Bella, but you really seem to be…cheering up, lately. I'm really happy to see your mood turning around." I smiled sadly, knowing he was referring to my mood when I first came here. Was it really only a month or so ago that I walked through that door, dragging my bags all teary eyed?

"Thanks, Dad," I said. He quickly straightened up, tightening his belt and becoming 'manly' again.

"I'll see you, if you need anything call me," he ordered. I nodded and he left. I listened to his car start up unwillingly, groaning against the effort as his tires squealed against the mud.

"Hello again," a soft voice whispered in my ear, causing me to jump. Edward's soft chuckle rang out from across the room, and I turned to see him sprawled out on my couch.

"Sheesh, Edward," I mumbled, simply because I like the sound of his names on my lips. "I really, really need a human moment, can you wait here until I'm done?"

"Sure," he said, smiling broadly. He sat up straight on the couch, making a show of folding his hands in his lap and becoming still.

I raced up the stairs and straight into the bathroom. I turned on the hot water, scrubbing down my body. I let the warm water unknot my back, taking the strawberry shampoo and running it through my hair. I tried to settle my heart, focusing on calming it to an almost regular rhythm. But whenever I thought of Edward sitting just downstairs, my heart started up again and I had to restart. When I was done I grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body. I didn't bother looking at my reflection, throwing on my clothes and running a comb through my hair. When I was satisfied I ran back down the steps.

I had to pause though in amazement at the fact I hadn't tripped. When I was done staring at the steps in awe I continued into the living room.

Edward sat just as he had before, his hands still in his lap. When he saw me he smiled his crooked smile, and my heart beat wildly again. I told it to calm down, forcing myself to plop into the big chair next to where he was sitting and relax.

"You smell nice," he commented, smiling when he saw my eyes widen. "Not like that, silly Bella. I meant that I can smell your hair from here. It smells like strawberries, correct?" I nodded, surprised. Although I should have figured he would be able to tell the smells apart fairly easily. I silently thanked myself I didn't wear perfume, since he seemed to like my natural smell a lot more.

"So do I smell good in...that way?" I asked. His eyes darkened, but I felt no fear. He didn't look like he was suffering more than he appeared to normally. He waited a moment, and I saw how his eyes lightened considerably. They were darker than when I was with him last night though, I noticed.

"You always smell good in that way," he said slowly, "But I'm not scared of hurting you anymore, Bella." I smiled at him, to which he returned a dazzling smile of his own.

"I told you," I told him. He nodded, seeming proud of himself.

We talked for the day. It was very nice, just sitting and talking. When my voice became weak, he made me sleep. He watched me, waking me every three hours just like a doctor. He always woke me gently, shaking my shoulders lightly until I woke up. I was grateful that he wasn't shining more lights in my eyes. And he let me ask my questions.

I learned a lot about vampires. I learned that they had super strength, speed, sight, hearing, and extremely improved looks. I knew that one already, though. I also learned what the nurse was thinking, causing me to blush furiously. He laughed at that, finding pleasure in my obvious embarrassment. He like classical music, hated music from the seventies. I learned that he'd been around for 102, no mate and no real purpose. He loved his family, even though none of them were related. He told me how they all met, how Alice could see the future and how Rosalie saved Emmett. He did get furious though when I asked if that meant people could be changed, asking if it was possible for people like me to get changed.

"Carlisle only changes people who are dying," he'd said through gritted teeth. I reached my hand out slowly to touch his. This time he didn't pull away, causing my heart to gallop quickly. His mood shifted again and he smiled at me. That was the third day.

I also learned the most interesting thing. Edward couldn't sleep. He said no vampire could, that he had lots of extra time to study. I was jealous of that, and we spent almost an entire day with Edward telling everything he did while I slept. He read novels, entire books. He never had to reread them because apparently vampires had perfect memories too.

He learned a lot about me too. How I was too clumsy, something he already knew, even though I took ballet as a child. I didn't play sports and was very serious about school. I told him how I wanted to see my sister, something pulling at me from the night before. I knew that she was in my dream, but I didn't know how. He smiled slightly when I mentioned her, and I figured he'd taken a real liking to my secret sister.

Before I knew it, it was Friday.

Edward tackled me into a hug when he saw me, crashing lightly on the couch. I laughed, kicking and screaming as he tickled me.

"Stop it!" I yelled, gasping for air. I knew my face was flushed from laughing so hard, and he smiled, relaxing. He let me squirm around for a moment before twisting me so his arms were wrapped around me again. It reminded me of when we were in the hospital, laying there together.

"Is this uncomfortable for you?" He asked politely, turning me so I was facing him. I knew he could hear my heart beating erratically, and I hoped he didn't read it the way I was.

I didn't know how to respond so I slapped his arm lightly. He laughed, letting me go as I stretched.

"You know you're just a little show off, right?" I asked, turning to look at him. He'd wrapped a blanket around me, probably to keep his cool body from making me shiver.

"What do you mean?" He asked, clearly confused.

"You were just showing off over there, with the whole 'let's make Bella twist around and not let her go' thing, weren't you?" He grinned, opening his arms widely. I opted to punch him lightly in the chest, knowing that he wouldn't get hurt it if I really hit him, and I'd probably just break a hand.

"What if I was?" His cool breath washed over my face, startling me again. This whole week I'd been careful not to show how I felt for him, and I knew that even now, as his cool breath made me struggle for words, I had to keep pretending we were just friends. I had to pretend for two reasons: one, I knew he didn't feel the same way. Two, even if he did feel the same way, if we broke up, I'd lose my only real friend at this point. I couldn't let that happen. So I took a deep breath and smiled at him.

"Then you're a show off, just like I said." He grumbled, tossing a pillow lightly at me. My bruises were faded now, almost gone, and he looked at them sadly every day.

"Are you done asking questions?" He asked, surprised, "I was sure that was going to continue for an eternity!" I scowled at him, but couldn't hide the embarrassed smile.

"Forgive me, but it's not every day that you meet a vampire. I can't help being curious."

He looked at me, and it was in these moments I could pretend he felt the same. For a moment, when he looked at me like this, his eyes gazing at me lovingly, I could pretend he was hiding feelings for me. He came over slowly, crossing the room gracefully. He lifted me in his arms, twirling me around. I never took my eyes away from his. For these few seconds I could pretend and be happy.

He did this now, looking at me. I felt myself blush and he reached over, brushing his cool finger against my cheek. He wrapped me in a hug, burying his face in my hair. I knew, though, that he was just new to friendship. I knew he was trying as hard as he could to be nice, and that being naturally amazing was just his nature.

"I swear, Bella," he said, gazing into my eyes. His eyes wouldn't leave mine, and I was locked there. He reached a hand to touch the corner of my lips, reaching behind my neck and holding my gaze. "I swear on my entire existence that I will never, ever hurt you."

I wanted so badly to take that another way, but I smiled, tears threatening to brim over.

"I know. I'm so glad we're friends," I forced myself to mumble into his chest. He sighed, probably realizing what I was taking his words for. But he pulled away after a moment, grinning.

"So am I, Bella," he said, his crooked smile making my heart sing.

"So what would you like to do today, if we're not going to ask questions?" He asked curiously, arching one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"What do you feel like doing?" I asked, watching him. He sat, pondering for a moment. Then his face lit up with excitement. He grabbed my hand naturally, his cool fingers entwining around mine. This was a gesture friends made, but even this made my heart skip. He looked at me, arching his eyebrow again and I blushed.

"I have an irregular heartbeat, you jerk," I said, laughing at my stupidity. It helped though, and I saw him laughing too. "Don't bring it up, its very embarrassing to me."

I knew he didn't buy it for a second, but he let it go, just shaking his head and smiling at me. It would be so much easier to pretend he didn't like me if he didn't look at me like that, smile that amazing smile, and mumble into my ear when I was trying to sleep. But he had to do all of these things, making it impossible not to like him.

"Anyway, I know what we could do today, considering it's very early and we have nothing more to do," he said, pausing. I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He stared at the floor, then back at my eyes, dazzling me once more.

"Let's go meet my family."

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**A:N/ **_There, and I swear I do have a plot. I have up til Chapter 21 planned out, and I'm not done after that. Bella and Edward **will** get together, but I'm not going to tell you when (:_


	13. Dance lusty boy

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Gaap237 -

I think you may want to just read and be surprised on that one (: I'm planning on following the general plot, but I'm going to have to obviously change things up now and then to fix it up and make sure everything flows nicely :D thanks for your comment!

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"No!" I yelled loudly, slamming my hand over my mouth, surprised at my outburst. He was too, but he quickly covered his hurt and shock with an amused expression. He smiled at me, but I could still see the rejection in his eyes.

"No?" He mocked me, "Are you scared of the vampires?" It amazed me how relaxed he was now. I rolled my eyes at him, letting go of his hand to go over to fold my blanket. I stared at the fibers, the dark burgundy that was woven together so carefully. It had been a gift from the Clearwater family, one of Charlie's friends, for Christmas when I was young.

"I'm not scared," I said, rolling my eyes. "Your question just caught me off guard."

He smiled at me like he thought I was lying and shook his head. "We don't have to, you know. It was just a suggestion to pass the time."

I felt bad now, feeling guilt seep into my blood and pound through my veins. It was true, I wasn't scared of his family. I just didn't want to go to a house full of beautiful, amazing, sing-song voiced vampires. They were inhuman, and they would easily outshine me against the rest of their family. Heck, Edward outshone me and our entire school alone. Even if you counted his vampire siblings as the school population.

I felt a familiar warmth pool over my cheeks as I thought of that. I couldn't tell Edward I was hiding feelings for him. That was final. I shrugged it off, hoping that Edward wouldn't notice my cheeks, flooded with heat.

Just my luck though, a cool hand pressed against my burning cheek. His palm rested against my face, cooling me instantly. His fingers trailed down my face and I shivered. Thankfully he misread it, pulling away chuckling.

"Why did you blush?" He asked, looking at me curiously. I felt my heart beat faster at the mention of my thoughts and listened, expecting his soft chuckle. He didn't though, simply sat on the large couch again. He patted the space next to him and I sat, feeling how natural it was.

_No_! I scolded myself, _You can't think these things. They'll only end up with you hurt_.

"I was just thinking…" I trailed off. That didn't seem like a good enough answer for him, and he waited for me to continue. I searched for a way to phrase it, trying to put it in the best terms possible. His expression turned agitated after a moment, so I held up a finger. He sighed, seemingly better when I established I was going to answer.

"Won't you tell me?" He murmured, burning his eyes into mine. I heard my breathing stop, forcing myself to blink. My heart was beating furiously, and I couldn't help but blush again. I was blushing far too much today.

"I'm going to look plain," I said quickly. Then I scowled at him, burying my face under the blanket. I didn't really care that I would have to refold it, I figured he could probably feel the heat pouring off of my face.

I felt the blanket getting lifted off of me. He pulled it back just enough so he could see my eyes, and I saw his were soft and warm. I felt my breathing stop, felt the familiar pounding of my heart as he looked at me. He pulled the blanket back a little more, and I realized his face was so close. I mentally kicked myself for thinking like that, although I had to hide my face from him again.

"You are not," he said slowly, his eyes burning, "going to look plain. Bella, you never look plain."

"Darn you Edward," I mumbled, hearing his familiar laugh. I jumped off the couch, trying to get away from his intense gaze. When I turned he was smiling at me, humor evident in his eyes. "Let's just go." He beamed at me, and I looked down at myself. I was in sweats and a t-shirt, mainly because I hadn't been expecting to go anywhere today. Even though I was feeling a lot better, Edward said that going out would probably not be the best because people would think I was skipping school.

Edward didn't have to sleep, but he went home at night to check in on his family. It was better because if Charlie knew I was having a friend over while I was supposed to be sick, he'd have a fit. Not that I hadn't been sick, but my throat was almost entirely healed and my throat was no longer scratchy. In fact, the said that I was pretty much good to go.

But now as I looked down at myself, I realized the truth. I was far from good to go. My outfit was laid back and casual, and I felt a surge of panic rip through my body as I looked at Edward. Barely a moment had passed, and he watched my freak out with confused and concerned eyes. He had on khaki pants and a button down white shirt; he, unlike me, looked more than good to go.

"Human minute," I yelled, running up the stairs. I didn't even wait to hear his chuckle or look at his face before I was running into my bathroom and slamming the door shut behind me. I looked in the mirror, saw my tangled hair thrown into a ponytail and sighed. I took off my clothes, jumping into the shower as fast as I could. When I was done I ran into my bedroom, thankful that for once Edward wasn't inclined to follow me.

I opened my closet, pulling out the only dress up clothes I owned. I stared at the skirt. It wasn't a mini skirt, and it rested a few inches above my knee cap. I praised God that it still fit, twirling around in the mirror. When I was satisfied and had accepted my appearance, I looked in my drawers at my shirt selection. Nothing in there was particularly appealing, so I finally settled on a blue dress shirt. I looked decent, so I threw my hair into a ponytail again and ran down the stairs; we didn't have the time for me to dry, style and curl it.

Of course, I tripped at the bottom. Edward's strong arms caught me and I blushed as he glanced over my outfit with appraising eyes.

"Nice," he commented. "I must say, blue suits you." I blushed even further, causing his crooked smile to get even wider. He lifted me up on my feet and waited for a moment to make sure I wasn't going to fall again.

"Thanks," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"For what, catching you or the comment?" He was grinning, and I turned my head to hide my reaction. I was secretly elated he'd said blue looked nice on me; it really helped with the 'I'm not nearly as good as a houseful of vampire' thing.

"Both, I guess," I said absently, trying to distract him. It worked and he grabbed my hand, towing me from the safety of the house to his silver Volvo parked in the driveway. It was silent for a moment, but the silence wasn't awkward. He'd let go of my hand and I closed my eyes, listening to the familiar pitter or the rain tapping against the windows.

A soft melody filled the car, accompanied with a sharp slap of pain. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around my stomach. I focused on breathing in and out, commanding the sharp tears not to pour over. I opened my eyes to look at Edward. He'd noticed and turned to me, fear in his eyes.

"What is it?" He asked, reaching an arm over to rub my back. "We don't have to go Bella! We can turn around and go back home, just you and me. Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it!"

I didn't like to see him in pain, it hurt me more than it hurt him. So I shook my head, fighting against the tears.

"It's just the song," I whispered, knowing he could hear it. Before I knew it the music was off, his hand rubbing circles gently on my back. I knew he wasn't going to press an answer out of me, but I wanted to tell him. I was hoping if I told him than the pain would go away. "My mother…she used to love that song. It was my favorite for a long time, too."

"Clair de Lune," he whispered. I nodded and he sighed.

"Are you okay, Bella? Just tell me what you want and I'll give you it. Anything, I promise." I was tempted to take him up on the offer when I looked up for the first time.

"Edward! You're driving too fast! Slow down!" I reached for the steering wheel, hearing him chuckle. He slowed considerable, but the speedometer still read 80.

"Bella, I have extremely fast reflexes," he was smiling at me. I was grateful for the distraction of his smile. "And so does the car, so don't have a heart attack on me, okay?" I slapped him lightly on the arm and smiled.

"I want a free pass," I said. He looked at me confused and I rolled my eyes.

"You said you'd do anything I wanted to. Well I want to save it and use it later," I explained.

"Of course." His smile was dazzling, and I focused on breathing in and out again, but this time for a different reason. I looked up, seeing that we'd already pulled into his driveway. It was a long, winding road that led to his house, and I spent the few seconds debating with myself on what it looked like. Nothing compared to my thoughts though when we broke through the trees and into the open.

His house was large and white. Glass windows were a key feature, and its large presence both welcomed me and shot a trill of fear down my spine. The flowers in front of the house were bright, and I saw a woman bent over the soil, brushing it around with her fingers. On one side we were greeted with more forest, rows and rows of trees, and on the other was a hill that sloped down to a large lake. I gasped, looking at it. It was beautiful.

"Do you like it?" He asked, glancing at me.

"Yes," I breathed, "This is…amazing." He chuckled, shutting off the car. The woman turned around again and I was stunned. She was young, but considerably older than the rest of the vampires I'd already met. I hadn't seen her around before, but she walked slowly over to us, smiling a warm smile.

"Hello," she trilled, "My name is Esme." She wrapped her arms around me in a hug and I buried my face into her. She smelled simply marvelous, although nothing was as good as Edward.

"You smile nice," I commented, blushing. She laughed a high, musical laugh that made me smile.

"So do you." I laughed, wondering why I felt no fear. A vampire was telling me I smelled good, but I found myself talking and enjoying her company. Edward smiled but wrapped his arms around me, probably just in case somebody launched themselves at me. I tried to ignore my raging hormones, screaming how good it felt to have his long arms snaked around my waist, holding me to him.

"Esme," he greeted, and I felt his breath in my ear. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. My heart sped up, but Esme just smiled knowingly at me. No, I didn't want her to know, Edward could read minds. I threw her a confused glance, but she just continued smiling. I felt Edward's arms loosen around me and cursed myself when I grabbed his arms.

"What if I get eaten?" I asked, twisting my head to look at him. His eyes sparkled with humor but he frowned when I said that. I rolled my eyes, patting his arm to stay where it was.

Barely five seconds had passed. Edward's arms were still around me, and I was glad for that.

"Edward," she greeted him. I realized that this was Esme, his mother figure he talked so highly of. "What brings you here today?" She looked at me like she already knew the answer, smiling kindly. It was too hard to dislike her, mainly because she seemed to understand my humor.

"Well we were bored at Bella's," he explained, "And we figured meeting the family would be fun." I had a feeling they were doing this for my benefit, because Alice came skipping out of the house.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I asked, realizing this was true. She twirled around me, making me envy her gracefulness.

"Yes, I suppose. But hey, I saw you coming so I figured we could use a break!" She sang. I felt Edward's arms tighten around me and wondered if Alice was thinking of my scent. But her dancing didn't seem too lethal to me, so I just let myself daydream for a moment. But it was hard to when Alice was around.

"Your hair is horrible," she said casually. I heard a growl in Edward's throat but she just rolled her eyes. It was a funny sight, seeing a pixie so unafraid of a tall, deadly vampire. "Let's go, I'll give you a makeover!"

"No," I moaned, cringing.

"Yes, Bella," she commanded. I shook my head, turning to Edward. I wrapped my arms around him aggressively, but he just gave me an apologetic look and unwound my arms from him. It really wasn't a fight, considering his arms were like boulders and mine were like twigs, but I glared at him anyways.

"You're leaving me to suffer, Edward!" I yelled to him as Alice dragged me into the house. I didn't have any time to admire the elegant white furniture or the large open rooms before I was being seated in a large, comfortable chair.

"I saw this. You're going to look marvelous," she said, reaching out for a curling iron. She brushed my hair gently, combing out the knots and moaning about how awful my hair looked. We talked about my throat and how I was feeling for about five seconds before she flipped into more personal topics.

"Who do you like, Bella?" She asked, gauging my reaction. My cheeks flushed and I shook my head, causing her to curse when I curl fell out. I hadn't yet looked in the mirror, but I felt the heat of each curl on my neck.

"Nobody," I answered simply, hoping she would drop it. She played with my hair for another moment, but I could almost feel her excitement pouring off of her.

"Bella," she whined. I was thankful she wasn't facing me, or else I would have absolutely no control over telling her who I really liked. "Please tell me?" I shook my head, knowing she could see it. This didn't seem to sway her though in her quest.

She clapped her hands, squealing. I turned around to look at her with questioning eyes. She was dancing around the room, humming an unfamiliar tune.

"What is it?" I asked, confused. She continued to dance around, having almost forgotten about my hair. She turned to me, a big smile on her face.

"Come with me," she commanded, jumping up and down. I eased myself off the stool, but this wasn't quick enough for her. She slung me over her shoulder, humming some tune. I closed my eyes, screaming as I felt the wind beat against my face. I didn't know where I was or what was happening, but I knew I was traveling fast and my stomach was hanging back at the starting line. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, hoping to make it stop. I figured we'd stopped when the wind had stopped throwing my hair across my face.

I opened my eyes tentatively, realizing I was in the middle of a forest. I had no idea where we were, and it was strange to be in a room one moment and, mere seconds later, sitting casually in a tree branch with an excited pixie jumping around below you.

"What is it?" I gasped as my stomach crawled back in my mouth. I vowed not to make myself throw up, but Alice paid little attention to me. She was swinging off of a tree branch like a gymnast, cart wheeling through the air to land on the balls of her feet.

"I saw something!" She managed after a moment, her short hair bouncing around as if it felt her excitement. I started bouncing too, something I hadn't consciously realized until I made myself stop. Her energy was unfathomable, and it was starting to rub off on me.

"Seriously Alice just tell me!" I laughed, crawling over the branch slowly to reach the tree trunk. "I'm about to have a heart attack!"

"Sorry about that," she apologized, although she didn't seem like she was paying any attention again. "I had to get out of Edward's hearing range. He can't read my mind out here, I don't think. So it should be hard for him to figure it out. I had a vision." Her tone made my heart speed up, but she seemed more gleeful than anything. "Just don't forget this: Walk slow." I glanced at her curiously but shrugged it off, going back to the real topic.

"What was it?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"I saw you telling me," she sang, jumping up to land on the branch next to me. I felt my face flush from embarrassment and ducked my head away from her. She just laughed and kept humming. "Don't worry Bella, you're my friend. I wouldn't embarrass you like that, that's why I took you out here."

I sighed, a low, shaky breath and closed my eyes.

"He'll find out eventually," I muttered, my heart fluttering at the prospect.

"So what if he does, I know what he's going to do," she sang, tapping her head.

"Will you tell me Alice?" I begged, desperate for her answer. She shook her head as if I were a student asking for answers on a test.

"I'm not doing it for him, so it wouldn't be fair Bella."

"When will he find out?" I asked, but she just tapped her head and smiled brilliantly at me again. I knew she was having too much fun with this, so I rolled my eyes at her and stuck out my tongue. I heard a rip and glanced at my skirt, seeing a tear down the side. One look at my shirt told me it wasn't in much better condition. I sighed, knowing I didn't have many other good clothes.

"I saw that too." She smiled as I glared at her. Her eyes got wide with innocence and I knew I couldn't stay mad at her for long. "What? I had to let it rip. Besides, now I get to play dress up! Speaking of dress up, your hair isn't exactly done yet, come on!"

Before I knew it I was slung over her back and flying through the forest. I managed a look down, only to realize that she was running. Her legs were barely touching the ground, her breathing was even and relaxed, and she laughed gleefully as I gasped for breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, tightening my grip around her neck.

When I opened my eyes I found myself planted firmly in the stool again. Alice skipped around me and curled my hair as if nothing had happened. I raised an eyebrow at me, but she just mimicked me, and I figured we weren't going to speak of our conversation. I closed my eyes and let her do what she wanted.

"Done!" She sang after a moment. I felt her drop the last strand of hair and wished I had a mirror.

"Can I see?" I reached for the tiny mirror on the counter but she slapped my hand playfully.

"Dress up time!" She announced.

"No," I said, trying to sound forceful. I heard a loud laugh from the first floor, trying to figure out who it belonged to. She just grabbed my hand and dragged me into a large room. Shoes and bags lined one wall, and the other was filled, and nearly overflowing, with rows and rows of gowns. I saw the jeans in the back and started to them, but she shook her head. I saw her eyes glaze over, realizing she was having a vision, and saw her grin when her eyes refocused.

"Here," she said, throwing me a bag. I couldn't see what was inside it, and thinking about the possibilities made me shudder.

"Can't I just wear those nice jeans back there?" I begged, looking longingly toward the row of designer jeans. I would gladly wear expensive jeans over a dress. She shook her head, having none of it, and shoved me to the bathroom.

"Change."

I sighed, taking off the ruined skirt. I said goodbye to it sadly, regretting speaking out loud when I heard that same, unfamiliar laugh. I blushed and opened the bag.

Alice really knew how to pick clothes. The dress was midnight blue, with diamonds lining the top. It had straps, thank God, but they were spaghetti straps and I didn't want any of it.

"Alice!" I yelled. I tried to open the door to sneak out, but Alice had her back against it. It was like trying to open a door against a steel wall. I turned to grab my khaki skirt, I didn't care if it had a rip in it, to find it gone. "What…?"

"Oh, yea," Alice said like it was no big deal, "I came in and took them."

"Invasion of my privacy!" I yelled loudly, not caring who heard me. Apparently, the entire house did, because I heard everybody's laugh downstairs. Everybody which included Edward. My face flushed, and I hoped Alice hadn't seen me standing in my underwear and blue shirt. I didn't want _that_ particular image in Edward's mind.

"Wear it or else."

I sighed, slipping on the dress. The full length mirror against the door let me examine myself for the first time, and I looked more like I was ready to go to a dance than to meet the family. My hair was curled elegantly down my back and my eyes were wide and alert, cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

"Pretty," I allowed, hearing Alice's excited squeal from the other side of the door. I heard it click and jumped out, hoping to make it to the closet before she caught me. I made it half a step before she had me from behind, an annoyed expression on her face.

"I know you like it, just admit it Bella!"

I sighed and said I did, making her squeal and let go of me. She bounded down the steps and I glanced down them tentatively. I counted them slowly.

_Twelve steps_, I told myself_, just make it down twelve steps. _

I remembered Alice telling me to walk slowly and took the first step down the stairs. I could only be thankful that she hadn't made me wear heels. The marble steps were cold against my bare feet, my toes had been painted the same shade of blue.

I turned down the spiral staircase and glanced up. Edward was standing at the bottom, watching me with a hidden expression I couldn't place. He was wearing a mask of mock pity, smiling at me. Beside him sat a large boy I remembered being Emmett. I wondered vaguely if that was who had been laughing at me.

I made it down the last step, feeling my foot press against the bare wood floor.

"Yes!" I whispered, frowning when I realized everybody could hear me. Emmett's booming laugh was the one that I'd been hearing, and I smiled at him tentatively. I took a step towards Alice, trying to get out of the spotlight, and tripped.

_"_You should be more careful," my favorite voice whispered, one strong arm wrapped behind my back, keeping me propped up.

"Isn't this the second time you've caught me at the bottom of the steps today?" I joked, staring up into his eyes. He smiled but did not lift me to my feet.

"Yes, but I suppose I like this blue more on you." I laughed, trying to pull myself back into a standing position. It didn't work, and my bare feet slipped. I only lost my balance for half a second before I was curled in Edward's strong arms. I blushed again, burying my face against his chest as Alice glared at me.

"Do not crinkle that dress," she said slowly and menacingly. I'd never heard anything so scary in my entire life. I scrambled to try to get out of Edward's arms and he released me after a moment, chuckling. I twirled around slowly to let her make sure there was no damage and let out a sigh of relief when she nodded her head, satisfied.

I turned my attention to the large boy sitting there, the boy I was trying to talk to before I fell.

"Hello Emmett," I said shyly, waving a hand at him.

"Bella!" He yelled, tackling me. I screamed as I landed on the couch. Emmett's laugh was loud, and he looked at me strangely, a menacing smile on his lips.

"You're fun to mess with," he commented, ignoring Edward's growl from across the room. I looked up, realizing that I really was across the room. Emmett had dragged me into the couch with more care than most people would have shown, yet the movement was so quick it left me with my head spinning.

"Thanks," I muttered, but smiled at him. He grinned back, reaching a hand out. I took it shyly. His big hand nearly swallowed mine whole, and his deep voice resonated throughout the entire house.

"Emmett," he introduced himself formally. I nodded, standing up on my shaky legs. This just made him laugh further, but to my relief he didn't push me back on the couch.

"This is my girl Rose," he said, crossing the room extremely gracefully for a vampire who looked like he could be a professional wrestler. He wrapped a strong arm around the beautiful blonde I'd seen in the parking lot. Edward was by my side in an instant, hissing at her and wrapping an arm around my waist. She rolled her eyes, leaning into Emmett's embrace.

"Hello," I said, my shyness returning.

"What do you think you're doing here?" She hissed at me, glaring. I shrank into Edward, turning to bury my face into his chest. His arms around my tightened, and I heard his growl at her.

"I can leave," I mumbled. Edward lifted my chin carefully with his fingers, brushing back a strand of hair. He glanced at Rosalie and frowned again.

"You're not leaving here!" Emmett yelled, but he was kidding around. "You're like…the highlight of my existence now!" There was a short pause, an exchange I didn't see, when I heard Emmett speak again. "Except for you of course baby."

I giggled, wrapping my arms around Edward's waist for protection from Rosalie. Edward squeezed my waist and I wondered if Rosalie was coming over to attack me. I stood there for a moment before I peeked out from under Edward's arm. Rosalie and Emmett were gone.

"She doesn't like me very much," I observed sadly. Alice's mood couldn't be dimmed, however, and she skipped over smiling and singing random songs. I glanced up at Edward and untangled myself from his arms, nearly tripping in the process.

"She's just jealous," Alice said in her sing-song voice. She grabbed my hands and twirled in circles with me, in way too good of a mood to be swayed from her energy. I glanced at her curiously, but she just kept smiling and humming her song.

"Jealous?" I asked skeptically. "She's tall, smart, beautiful, graceful; what is there in me to be jealous of?"

Alice rolled her eyes but didn't answer my question. "You'll just… oh whatever I'm tired of this game. Edward you like Bella, Bella likes Edward. Get together or I'm going to go crazy!"

Psycho pixie ran out of the room, and I turned to Edward with crimson cheeks.

"Uh. Crazy Alice," I said, playing with my fingers.

"Is that true?" He asked curiously, crossing the room to stand a few feet in front of me.

"What would you do if I said yes?" He smiled and took another step closer to me.

"Don't move," he said slowly. I nodded, a movement, causing him to chuckle.

He was standing right in front of my now. He lifted my chin with two fingers, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. He bent his head slowly so that our lips were inches apart, and I could feel a static charge moving through me. My whole body felt like it was on fire, but it was so different then embarrassment now. I felt confident, strong, as one of his strong arms moved around my waist, pulling me closer. I moved my arms so they were wrapped around his neck and stood on my tiptoes as he closed the gap.

His lips were so hard, nothing like what Stacy described to me when she kissed Tommy. But his lips were gentle as they brushed against mine gently. My lips became more eager, and I was glad to find his did too. My arms around his neck tightened, and I let out a low moan as I pressed against his chest.

He untangled my arms gently, smiling at me the whole time. I blushed violently

"Sorry, Edward," I whispered so low I was wondering if he could hear me.

"Well, at least I know I can handle that," he said proudly. I laughed at him, remembering my first kiss. I tacked a mental note to save it to memory tonight.

"I can't." Edward laughed now and lifted my hand to kiss my palm.

"That's quite alright, love," he said, making my heart stammer. Did he just call me love?

"Would you like a tour of the house, now that Alice had her fun?" He said it like he was mad, but his eyes were still sparkling. I nodded and he twisted his fingers through my fingers, leading me up the spiral staircase.

"This is Alice and Jasper's room," he said, pointing to the room I got my makeover in. Alice had already shown me their room and Jasper's study, too excited about her husband, it turned out, to wait for Edward to show me.

"Is everybody married?" I asked as we peeked our head into Rosalie and Emmett's room. I was scared of what was going to happen if she was in there, but Edward seemed to have read my mind.

"They'll be back in a few minutes. And yes, every vampire in this house is married. Carlisle to Esme, and of course you know the rest of my family."

He led me to a room with gold carpet, and I smiled at it. Rows of CDs lined an entire wall, and a glass window provided an elegant view of the mountains in the background.

"Your room?" I asked, taking a step inside. He nodded and followed me as I stepped inside.

"Where's your bed?" I asked curiously, and I would bet anything if vampires could blush he would right now.

"Well, you see, I don't need it for reasons that the others do," he said quietly. I blushed, turning my head away from him.

"Oh," I said casually, bending down to play with the fibers on the carpet. It was the same color as his eyes, I noticed. When I stood he was there again, right beside me.

He reached down to my face quickly, pulling me so that I was standing on his toes. We were almost the same height, and he wrapped his arms tightly against my waist, kissing my neck. I blocked my throat from letting out a moan as he trailed kissed along my neck all the way up to my jaw. He reached my lips and planted another soft, gentle kiss there before sighing.

"What was that for?" I managed after I restarted my heart.

"Eddie boy is having…feelings, I bet," Emmett laughed, strolling into the room. I blushed, burying my face in Edward's chest. "Probably because of your bed talk."

"I said I bet," Emmett corrected after a moment. I wondered what Edward's glare must have looked like to make him backtrack that quickly. "You'd have to ask Jasper to be sure."

"Jasper?" I asked, distracted.

"Didn't I tell you that?" Edward looked puzzled. I wracked my brain, trying to remember a conversation. Finally I shook my head. "Jasper can feel and manipulate emotions."

"Cool, huh?" Emmett asked, excited. "I bet you he's around here somewhere…Jasper!" He yelled, but I knew that Jasper would have heard even if he were standing ten miles away. Jasper entered the doorway, an anxious but friendly smile on his face.

"Hello Bella." He grimaced, and I wondered if it was because of my blood or the feelings in the room. Emmett was unaffected though, and strolled over to place a big hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Jazzy," he said sweetly. Too sweetly. "Can you tell us what Belly is feeling?"

I was mad Edward didn't stop him. Jasper looked at me and closed his eyes, frowning. Then he opened them and gave me an apologetic frown.

"She's confused. There's also some anxiety in there. But the main one? Probably…love."

"What's Edward feeling?" I asked quickly, to avoid any talk of me and love. Jasper smiled, looking at Edward.

"Well, there's lust for sure." Emmett winked at me. "But there's also worry and… love."

"Lusty boy," Emmett sang. I laughed at the image of him dancing around Edward's room, which he proceeded to do as he tried to get Edward to dance with him. "Come on lusty boy! Am I not good enough for you? Should I put on a wig? Whisper sweet nothings to you?"

I had tears streaming down my eyes as Edward grimaced.

"Should we get out of here?" I whispered to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Emmett howled in laughter, causing even me to scowl at him. "Emmett, you need to go find Rosalie, I think." He looked like he was seriously considering it for half a second before he was speeding out of the room. Edward grimaced again, and I wondered what he was thinking of.

I looked up, seeing that Jasper was gone too.

"That was…interesting," I commented after a moment. I buried my face in his neck, and I felt him breathe in my scent as we stood there in comfortable silence.

"Would you like to dance?" I was stunned by the change in conversation, especially the negative road it had taken.

"Edward…I can't dance," I said slowly, turning my face away from him.

"Sure you can, you have me as your partner." He smiled my smile, the crooked one that sent my heart racing. "And besides, you look so beautiful in that dress. It seems wasteful not to use it for something."

"I'm terrible, Edward. You don't understand."

He took a step away from me, mainly so we could have some breathing room. He took my hand in one of his and held it gently. He placed his other hand on my waist, and laughed when I proceeded to do the same.

"Like this," he said gently, lifted my hand to rest on his shoulder. Soft music filled the room, and I saw a flash of short, black hair leave the room.

"Now you just…move," he said, taking a step toward me. I stumbled, causing him to chuckle.

Edward gave up trying to teach me to dance after about seven minutes. I was on his toes now, spinning gracefully in circles as we danced around the room.

Minutes, seconds, or hours later, I couldn't be sure, my stomach growled.

"Hungry?" He commented, raising an eyebrow. I slapped him playfully, but nodded.

"We can't all go for weeks without food," I said, causing him to smile. He took my hand and led me down the stairs to the kitchen. It was bright and shiny, and I assumed it hadn't been used in a very long time, if ever.

"Alice saw you getting hungry. We usually don't have food here, but then again, we have Alice to tell Esme you were going to be coming. The kitchen's stocked, just tell me what you want and I'll make it."

"Can I ask for something horribly complicated? Would you still make it?" I asked, sitting on a stool on the island. He shrugged and nodded.

"I think Esme would still make it, at least. I'm a little hard to sway on certain things."

"I could sway you, I bet," I objected, smiling at him. He smiled back at me and rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. I thought about my food options, finally opting on a sandwich. He made it, although I said I would, and sat with me at the island.

"Are you going to be in school Monday?" I asked, curious. He shook his head and I frowned. "Why not?" I all but whined. He laughed at me, twisting his fingers through mine gently and giving them a squeeze.

"I'm in Utah, remember? I'll try and be 'better' in a week. And besides, it will give you time to catch up on school without any distractions."

"Yes," I agreed, "You are a distraction." He laughed, getting up to wash my empty plate.

"Do people know of us?" I asked curiously, "Or are we going to play it secret?"

He turned to me, the plate in the sink. He looked as if he were seriously pondering it.

"I want people to know," he said slowly. Then he smiled at me, confident. "Yes, you can tell them. But don't mention it now, obviously, because that would really confuse them."

He led me into the living room, setting me next to him as we watched television with his arm around me. Alice and Jasper were sitting in the couch next to me, chatting away aimlessly. I felt how heavy my eyelids were, how hard it was becoming to keep them propped open.

"I'm just going to take a nap," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed my hair softly.

Before I knew it my eyes were fluttering open. I hadn't dreamt, and for that I was grateful. Jasper and Alice were looking at me curiously, but Alice was jumping around a little in her seat.

"You're awake!" She shrieked, causing me to flinch. I nodded at her like she was four and smiled.

"Hi Edward, sorry about that," I said, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"It's quite alright, love," he said, kissing my cheek softly.

"Did you know you talk in your sleep, Bella?" Alice asked, tilting her perfect face curiously to the side. I felt my eyes pop out in horror, covering my mouth with my hand.

"What did I say?" I gasped, worry coursing through me. Edward's eyes were soft though, and I felt myself relax.

"Well it wasn't really anything special," he said casually, shrugging. I knew how to tell if he was lying though, and I knew he was now. I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head.

"Edward what did I say?" I moaned, hysteria creeping in to the edge of my voice. He kept his voice calm, and his eyes were warm and soft.

"You said you miss your mother. You said her name a lot. You also said Annabel and Scott. But everything else isn't really that important."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What did I say that involved you?" His eyes were warm pools of butterscotch, bringing my eyes in and not letting me go. He reached a hand around my neck, kissing me for the third time.

"You said you loved me," he said, awe in his voice as he looked at me.

The door opened then, saving me from embarrassment. Carlisle walked in, a bright smile on his face.

"Hello Bella, what do we have here?" He asked, glancing at me in the gown.

"Alice," I said by way of explanation, running a hand through the curls. "We didn't have anything to do at my house, so Edward suggested coming here. You really have a wonderful house, its so big!" He smiled at me and nodded.

"That's what happens when you work for a few hundred years," he chuckled. "It's nearly six, Bella. I'm sure you want to get home before Charlie gets worried."

I nodded. I knew he wasn't kicking me out, only looking out for my safety and protecting me from an angry Charlie back home. I stretched and turned to Alice.

"Do you want your dress back?" I asked, fingering the material. She shook her head as though I'd slapped her in the face.

"Keep it! It's a gift, silly," she said, rolling her eyes. I got up and hugged her tightly around the shoulders, and she hugged me back. "We're going to have lots of fun this week without Edward around!"

I laughed but didn't agree with her. I wasn't going to be having that great of a time without him, but I let it go. Edward led me to the car, giving me his jacket to protect me from the chilly air. It smelled like him; soft, warm and mesmerizing. I focused on not inhaling the scent too obviously on the way home. The radio was on, but Clair de Lune did not fill the air. I was grateful for that, although I could have done without his speeding.

He was leading me in my house within minutes. My throat felt fine, but he made me take another pill just in case.

"You baby me too much," I said, smiling at him while I swallowed the pills.

"You're in love with me," he shot back, his eyes sparkling. I turned my head away from him, embarrassed.

"You don't have to say anything back, you know," I muttered, kicking the ground with my toe. He wrapped me in a hug, his breath soft and cool against my ear.

"Would it be crazy to say I love you to?" He asked, smiling down at me with his crooked grin.

"I don't think so," I murmured, burying my face into his shirt.

"I was hoping you'd say that, because I don't think I'm going to change my mind." He laughed, and I realized something.

"You're very… optimistic, today," I observed. "Why is that?"

He looked at me again with his warm, soft eyes.

"Isn't this supposed to be what its like? First love, and all that? It feels so good to say, so natural. I love you, Isabella Swan. I love you!" I laughed at his outburst, but I saw his logic.

"I know what you mean. I love you Edward Cullen!" He laughed, brushing my hair back.

"Let's just…take this slow, okay?" I rolled my eyes at him and walked back to the kitchen to make some food.

"You just told me you loved me, and you want to take it slow?" I laughed, grabbing a box of noodles out of the cupboard. I put the pot to boil and waited.

"I guess I do," he laughed, shaking his head. "Charlie's coming. He'll be here in two minutes. He's thinking about work. Apparently, there are some bears or something running wild. Just don't go in the woods, okay?"

"Of course not, Edward. This is me we're talking about."

He smiled as if he saw my logic and stood.

"I'll see you tomorrow, maybe? If you do something with Alice, that is." I nodded, slipping the noodles into the pot. The boiling water died down, absorbing the new noodles. He smiled at me, coming over to kiss my forehead.

"Goodbye, love," he whispered before slipping out the backdoor.

"You loser, didn't even let me say bye," I muttered, hearing his ghostly chuckle as the door opened.

"Hey Charlie," I greeted him as he walked in, shaking out his hair. He sighed, slipping off the heavy jacket and the pin before turning to me. His eyes bugged out when he saw me, and I realized I still wore the jacket and dress that Alice had put me in.

"Why do you look so nice?" He questioned me skeptically. I searched my brain frantically, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well, Alice came by after school," I spluttered, but it sounded good enough, "She likes makeovers and said that this would help me 'feel better'. I guess it did because I'm making dinner!" The last part may have been terribly unbelievable, but Charlie was gullible and just nodded his head. Maybe he was just hungry.

When dinner was done, I raced upstairs to take a shower. I was expecting a goopy mess of hairspray, only to find that my hair was managed more easily then before. I shrugged, going into my bedroom to slip on some pajamas. I decided to drive to school tomorrow and get my schoolwork, hoping there was a possibility that I could get it done sometime this weekend.

I ran up to my room, exhausted, and quickly found myself drifting into unconsciousness. A week without Edward roaming the halls of Forks High, just after we'd confessed our love for each other. A week with Alice, crazy shopoholic. A week trapped with Emmett, the vampire who got his kicks from making me scared out of my mind. Not to mention Rosalie, who wanted to rip my head off for some unknown reason. Plus Jasper, the vampire with little control over his thirst and could more than likely rip my head off in mere seconds.

What could go wrong?

* * *

_**A:N/** Did you like it? I love Emmett, I hope I stayed true to his charachter. He's one of my favorites, and I'm goign to have a lot of fun with him this week (:_

_Merry Christmas! That can be your present, okay? Edward and Bella together? Don't think it's all fun and fluff now though, I have a wonderful week without Edward in school, lots of mishaps and unfortunate twists. But enjoy that, and pretend it's all good from here, okay? Merry Merry Christmas! -realizes she still has to bake cookies and wrap presents- _

_bye!_


	14. The week of weird

_Thanks for the reviews, guys! Merry Christmas! I'm writing this on my new laptop, -squeal of joy- and it's a different keyboard then what I'm used to. Forgive me for any mistakes, please? Oh and I know there's not too much here, at least of any substance, but I wanted some Emmett Jasper fun without overdoing it too much. I'll stop rambling. Enjoy!_

* * *

It was surprisingly hard to convince Charlie that I was well enough to go shopping with Alice, even though I didn't want to, when I was too sick to go to school the day before. Of course, he'd suggested I take it easy for a day or so, just to make sure I was feeling better. But when Alice strolled up to my door and rang the bell, smiling at Charlie, he'd allowed me to go. I guess that's one good thing when you're friends with vampires. They can use their abilities to get you what you want.

It was another dreary, rainy day in Forks, but I was past getting upset over that. She had the heat blasting, singing to her favorite songs. Her voice easily outshone the poor artist on the radio, and I felt pity for the woman singing. Alice tried to get me to join in, but I shook my head. There was no way I was going to get embarrassed that easily.

The drive was fun and full of laughter. Alice told jokes about a time when Emmett had tried to convince Edward that he was a small flower. Emmett had proceeded to dance around him like a ballerina at Christmas, and Alice had even joined in. I had tears streaming down my face, grateful that she didn't force me to tell any stories.

The time passed quickly, and before I realized it we were pulling into a tiny strip mall just inside the boundaries of Port Angeles. She skipped out, grabbing my hand and passing the first store. I wasn't in the mood to shop, but I was happy to be spending the day with a girl, just to be able to talk and gossip. She turned into a store with a fancy banner, and I gasped when we stepped inside.

The whole store was gorgeous. Dresses lined every wall, racks of gowns stood in the center of the store. This seemed like a place where rich, famous actresses would shop. Alice patted my hand like I was a toddler as a tall woman with pinned back black hair came up.

"Alice!" She cooed, and I wondered how many times Alice came here.

"Martha!" Alice yelled, but swiftly made an excuse not to hug the woman. The woman, Martha, nodded, leading us to the back of the store.

"What are we shopping for today, Alice?" She asked in a heavy accent.

"Bella," Alice said, standing on her tiptoes to drape an arm over my shoulder. My eyes got wide, causing Alice to laugh. "She didn't really know she was going to be receiving clothes today." Martha nodded as if all of our talk really interested her.

"I can't accept this stuff, Alice," I said quickly, mentally running through my bank account. No, I definitely couldn't afford it.

"Nonsense, Bella, you're my best friend. You're accepting the clothes."

"Am not," I said childishly, sticking my tongue out at her and crossing my arms over my chest. Her eyes narrowed at me – I'd never seen anything so scary, which was surprising, coming from the fact that she was so small.

"It doesn't matter anyway; I just want them for when you come over to my house. I can do the shopping without you regardless," she said, tapping her head. Then her eyes glazed over and when she opened them she was clapping. "You cave! Come on, let's do this!"

I rolled my eyes, seeing that Martha had already excused herself. Alice skipped through the store, her eyes glazing over every few seconds. Sometimes she scowled, and I would wonder what I had said to upset her. It was strange, her seeing me do things, and me not knowing I was going to. After an hour though, I got used to it.

"Shouldn't I be trying these on?" I asked as she threw half a dozen clothes on the checkout counter. She wasn't done though, and headed to a new rack in search of 'the perfect dress'. She rolled her eyes at my question, an amused smile on her face.

"It's more fun for me to watch your reaction when you finally wear them at home then when you try them on here. Oh, this one's pretty for me!" She picked up a short green satin dress, pressing it against her and twirling in the mirror. I sighed, closing my eyes and wishing I could be half as graceful as her. My stomach rumbled loudly then, and I glanced at my watch. It was almost two o'clock, and we'd been in this store alone for five hours. I wondered how the time passed so quickly even though I hated shopping. I blushed when Alice laughed, clearly hearing my stomach's pleas for food.

"Can I get you anything?" Martha asked, walking into the room with her arms folded neatly. She showed us the 'I'm here so I can serve you and, hopefully, make a large tip' smile, carrying two bottles of water. Who brings sparkling water to customers? Then again, I'm sure that I'd never shopped anywhere other than discount stores, and occasionally when my mother would …

I sighed, pushing it out of my mind. Martha stood there staring at me curiously, although she knew better than to press me for questions.

"No," Alice said sweetly, "We were actually just leaving. We're very hungry. We'll just take this and leave." Alice threw the satin dress to Martha, tossing me a sparkling water. I dropped it, closing my eyes and praying it didn't shatter. I was greeted with a thump as it bounced off of the wood floors, rolling into the corner. Alice and Martha went to pay, and I trudged after them, my stomach growling at me. Alice was lucky, Alice didn't have to worry about her stomach going berserk on her, Alice got to skip around like a fairy and buy lots of expensive clothes.

I hadn't realized I was muttering until I heard Alice's giggles. Martha didn't have the ears to hear me, and she glanced at us curiously. My face was flushed, but I just scowled at her.

"Are all of these for me?" I asked, mortified as I glanced at the piles of dresses and gowns. To my relief, there were a few pairs of jeans and designer shirts, but it was nothing compared to the mass of fabrics and gowns that lay splayed across the counter. Alice shook her head, fingering the lace on one of the gowns. I hadn't seen her pick it out, and it was very…risqué for my taste.

"Please please please tell me that's yours," I almost screeched. Martha seemed almost horrified at my outburst, hugging the skimpy dress and petting it like it was alive and really had feelings.

"Do you not like Kiki Lace #324?" Martha asked, petting it again. I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. I'm sure it didn't look anything close to as good as when Edward did it, but I suppose I would just have to live with that.

"Just not my style, is all," I muttered, much to Alice's amusement.

"Bella, Kiki Lace #324 is for me."

I let out a sigh of relief, ignoring Martha's offended looks. I didn't get what her glitch was, but it was starting to weird me out the way she talked to Alice about the latest designers. I needed some air, so I excused myself to step outside.

The rain was a wet drizzle, although it was quickly letting up. A woman came out carrying bags, which I assumed had our dresses in them. I pointed to Alice's sports car, leading the woman to the unlocked trunk. Seven women later, Alice skipped out, a gleeful smile on her face. She kissed three of the women on the cheek, tipped them all generously, and jumped into the driver's seat.

"Sorry about the time, Bella," Alice apologized. "I'm not used to having to feed somebody. You're like an itty bitty baby!" I rolled my eyes at her as she chatted aimlessly. I missed Edward, and I hadn't seen him in over sixteen hours. I wanted to see him, but I knew he had to keep up the sick act for another week.

"Are you a vegetarian?" Alice asked excitedly, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Um, no?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders, my confused answer not putting a damper on her excited mood. "I was just wondering because there's supposed to be a really good vegan restaurant that most people here like, and since I don't have much taste for human food, this is really just about what you want."

I thought about it for a second, finally deciding on a sports restaurant I'd visited once when I was younger and visited Charlie during the summer. It had a peppy atmosphere, something I thought Alice would enjoy. She seemed to know about it, and her eyes glazed over for a split second. Before I had a chance to freak out over her not paying attention to the road, she was back. She laughed loudly before pulling into the parking lot.

"What is it?" I asked, poking her in the rib. She just shook her head, stepping out of the car. I followed, and soon we were strolling into the restaurant.

A tall, dark haired boy was standing at the podium. He looked very, very bored.

"How many today?" He droned, perking up when he caught site of Alice. He grinned stupidly, "Oh, yes. Two?" Alice nodded, bouncing behind him as he showed us to our seats.

"Your…Your waiter…He'll be here in a minute," he muttered, running a hand through his hair and giggling like a girl. Then he coughed, puffing out his chest. I tried not to roll my eyes as he stormed away, muttering about what an idiot he was. Alice giggled, causing me to burst out laughing.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Alice said, standing up to smooth out her shirt.

"Alice you can't pee, sit back down."

She ignored me though, skipping past the boy who'd seated us and straight into the restroom. She hardly noticed him, she's probably already forgotten about him. But his eyes followed her greedily as she flew by him. This time I did roll my eyes. Another tall boy came out. He had dark brown eyes and almost black hair. Two white, perfect rows of teeth formed a brilliant smile on his face as he strolled towards my table. He looked familiar, and I tried to place him, although I couldn't.

"Bella!" He cried, flashing me his brilliant white smile again. It looked strange against his perfectly tan skin, and I struggled to try to place him.

"I know you from somewhere, I just forget where." I paused, wracking my brain. "You look different now, I know that."

"It's me, Jacob. You know, from the movies?" It dawned on me then, I knew him. My face lit up, I felt the smile on my face. He was taller now, and there was evidence of strong muscles underneath his shirt.

"Jacob!" I yelled, jumping up to give him a hug. He laughed, returning it. I barely knew him, but his persona was just so kind and warm I couldn't help but like to be around him.

"Mark told me there was a beautiful girl at the table," he said, ignoring my blush. "I should have guessed it would be you."

"He was talking about Alice," I explained. I glanced over his shoulder, searching for her. "Why are you here? Don't you live in La Push?"

"Yea, but it's such a small town that the job pool there is very limited. My dad, Billy Black, sends me down here on weekends. I know some nice shortcuts, so it only takes me about twenty minutes. I'm starting to meet some really nice people down here." I laughed, nodding to the boy who seated us.

"Yes, he seemed to be very nice to Alice," I said, smiling. "So, how is school?"

He told me a story about his friend Quil, who'd stirred up trouble when he'd flirted with a beautiful girl from school. I was laughing when we realized he had to take my drink orders.

"Oh," he said, standing quickly. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Water."

"Water?"

"Yes, got a problem with water?"

"Only that it's the worst, plainest beverage invented. Why don't you treat yourself to a nice Coke?"

"I don't want a Coke."

"You do now."

"That's not cool, Jacob!" I yelled, but he ignored me, rolling his eyes and strolling into the kitchen. He came back with a Coke in a large glass, setting it on the table. He sniffed, scrunching his nose.

"Oh, I forgot, did your friend want a drink?" He glanced around, probably wondering where she was. I glanced over his shoulder, trying to look too, but I couldn't see her.

"No, she's probably just freshening up. We were on a shopping mission all morning, so you know, very difficult for her," I rolled my eyes, pretending to gag. "I hate shopping, but hey, if foods involved…"

He laughed, glancing at the large clock hanging off of the wall.

"My shift ends in ten; do you think your friend would be okay with it if I hung out with you?" He looked hopeful, his young eyes bright and vulnerable. My thoughts flashed to Edward and I frowned.

"I really like talking to you, but I am in a relationship," I explained. His face clouded for a second, hurting me. "But if you want to hang out as friends, I'd be more than happy to talk to you."

His face brightened instantly, making me feel less guilty. "Sure! Just let me get your order."

I told him what I wanted and he was off to the kitchen. Alice skipped out then, humming some tune. When she came over her nose scrunched up and she gagged.

"What is that?" She shrieked, plugging her nose. I glanced at her, confused.

"Alice it smells fine here," I said, rolling my eyes. She kept her nose scrunched but slid into the booth next to me.

"Is that what you were so excited about, me meeting Jacob again?" I asked, looking at her with wondering eyes. She looked at me as though I'd spoken gibberish, shaking her head.

"I was talking about the Mark character. I didn't see you talking to him in a vision. If I had I'd have been way more excited. But really, it smells awful over here. Like…pine, or something. But worse."

"Oh," I said as Jacob came out with the food surprisingly quickly. He scrunched his nose again, glancing at the table.

"If you put on perfume, Bella, it's way too strong." He laughed, sliding into the booth across from us. I threw my hands in the air, exasperated.

"It smells fine you guys!" I laughed, but they looked unconvinced. Suddenly Jacob looked around as if he were in a daze. He glanced at me, his lips parted slightly and his eyes distant. Had he been Alice, I'd have said he was seeing the future, but he seemed in too much pain for that. I slid out of the booth and shook his shoulders. He barely realized I was there, a light tremor shaking his shoulders. Alice looked concerned but just as confused as me as we watched him.

"Are you okay?" Alice's light voice asked, rising an octave as she started to panic. He shook his head, throwing me a weak smile. I felt his shoulders shake aggressively under mine, and he closed his eyes tightly, doubled over.

"Why is it that one of us always gets sick?" He asked, attempting to lighten the mood. I scooted out of the booth, dragging him with me. His face was pale, and I made him call his dad to say he wasn't feeling good. Alice bounded after us, a box in her hands. She followed closely as we stood at the edge of the parking lot.

"You should go home, Jacob," I said quietly, patting his shoulders. He nodded, standing up to wrap me in a tight hug.

"Hope we see each other soon, Bella," he said, jogging away to a beat up looking car. He slid inside, closing the door. Before I'd registered what was happening the car had roared to life, pealing out of the parking lot. Alice shook her head sadly, a sigh of relief escaping her lips.

"Thank goodness I'm not human; I don't have to get sick!" I laughed, getting into the car. I didn't feel much like eating or shopping anymore, but Alice had other plans. We would be driving quickly to the outskirts of a small town, to a tiny boutique there.

"Where's Edward?" I asked as we started driving home. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye before averting her gaze.

"He doesn't want me to say, he says it will scare you," she said, glancing out the window. I rolled my eyes at her logic, ignoring the speedometer. I was used to the Cullen's crazy speeding by now.

"Alice, I hang with vampires. I'm pretty sure nothing can scare me now."

She shrugged. "He's just doing some male bonding time with Emmett and Jasper." I looked at her skeptically before she caved. "Okay, he's…hunting."

It took a minute for me to connect it before I was smiling. It was at this exact moment that I was glad that he was a good vampire, not the human eating kind. The image of Edward hunting humans was just too much for me, and I knew that it was invoke fear in me. I shuddered at the thought of him eating humans, but Alice misinterpreted it, muttering to herself about how she shouldn't have told me. I ignored her though, explaining my thoughts. She looked almost as horrified as I was at the thought of the Cullens eating humans, shuddering.

By the time we'd finished shopping and arrived home it was nearly ten. Charlie didn't throw a fit about the time, probably happy I was just doing something normal instead of moping around the house crying over my mother. The image of her brought fresh tears, and I ran into the bathroom to wash away the tears with a hot shower.

I ran down the stairs to tell Charlie goodnight. He barely paid me notice though, watching a basketball game on the television. He nodded and yelled at the commentators, causing me to chuckle as I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me.

"Care to fill me in on the joke?" A curious silk voice asked from my rocking chair in the corner. The scream that was building up in my throat died instantly as I ran into the strong, hard arms that welcomed me.

"It was nothing," I said, breathing in his scent. "Just Charlie being Charlie." His arms wrapped around me, keeping me from falling off the chair.

"Is that so?" He murmured, burying his face in my neck. I giggled, nodding my head.

"How was hunting?" I asked, trying my best t sound casual. I could feel his smile against my throat as he chuckled.

"Alice told you then? Well, love, it was terribly awful." I frowned, wondering what could be awful about eating. He pulled away from my neck to look into my eyes. His were warm, light amber. Nothing like the dark black they had started to become. "I missed you too much."

"I missed you too," I said as he picked me up swiftly, carrying me to bed.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," he explained, as though his being here was selfish. He stood to go, smoothing his shirt out.

"Do you come here often?" I murmured while he slid the blankets over me. He smiled at me, brushing back a piece of hair.

"Yes," he said guiltily, "Almost every night." He smiled, brushing his fingers against my furiously blushing face. "You're very interesting while you sleep."

"Well, then what's the point of leaving and coming back to spy?" I practically whined. "Why don't you just stay here with me?"

He groaned but crawled next to me, leaving a blanket to separate us. I grinned, wrapping my arms around him to lay my head against his chest.

"I saw Jacob today," I told him, looking up at his face. His eyes were confused, and I smiled at him. "He was the boy who told me about you at the movies. He helped me figure out about your vampy-ness." Edward rolled his eyes at my immaturity, causing me to laugh lightly. "Anyways, I saw him and he was really nice. But he got sick and had to go home early."

"That's a shame," Edward said, rubbing a hand on my back. "Did you enjoy your shopping with Alice?"

I propped myself up on one arm so I was leaning over him. I threw him a skeptical look and raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

He chuckled, pulling my back to lie against his chest. I knew he was only trying to get me to sleep, but I liked it that he didn't just lay me next to him.

"Sleep, my love," he murmured, leaning his head on mine. I sighed, tightening my grip. He started to hum the same, wonderful tune, and soon I was asleep.

--

Sunday passed quickly and uneventfully. Edward had to leave because Charlie decided he wanted to have some family bonding time, probably because I was better now than before. We hadn't kissed, so I just imagined different goodbyes as I trudged through the day. Charlie excused himself at noon, leaving to fish with his friend. I had nothing to do, so I grabbed my phone book.

I looked up Billy Black in the phonebook, dialing his house. A deep voice answered, very serious.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Billy Black? This is Bella Swan, I'm Charlie's daughter. I was wondering if Jacob was there," I asked, twirling the phone cord in my hand. I stepped over to the fridge, grabbing some bologna out. I reached for the bread, listening to the man's deep breathing on the other line.

"Jacob's very sick," Billy said seriously. I gasped, dropping the bread.

"Is he okay?" I asked; worry made my voice raise a few octaves, creating the whiny stalker effect.

"Yes, he's going to be fine but he won't be able to hang out with you for a very long time. So sorry but it looks like he needs me. Bye Bella."

The phone was dead before I could gather a proper response. I glared at the phone, slamming it back on its hook. He hadn't even let me send a message to Jacob.

I was surprised when I'd eaten, showered and finished my projects that it was only six o'clock. Charlie called, saying that there was an emergency and that he wouldn't be able to make it home. Something about wild mutant bears. I shuddered, slamming the phone on its hook. Why couldn't anybody bring me good news today?

--

The week was near torture. Edward was the gossip of the school. Apparently he had a very deadly virus; at least, that's what Jessica was telling everybody. I smiled, getting in on the joke. I realized I hadn't truly bonded with the Cullen family, and this week was the perfect opportunity. Well, family bonding with everybody except Rosalie, who kept glaring at me. Occasionally Emmett would have to leave with her, taking her out for a drive. I sighed, wondering what I could have done to get her so upset. Alice tried to tell me she was jealous, but I knew that was ridiculous and shrugged it off.

Emmett was a truly funny guy. I'd taken to sitting with them at lunch after Alice had all but dragged me to their table. Emmett kept telling jokes and ruffling my hair, much to Rosalie's dislike and Alice's horror. I heard hilarious stories of his childhood, or at least, what he could remember. How he climbed a tree trying to fly and jumped from the highest tree. How he thought for a second he was flying before he realized he'd landed on a trampoline and was barreling towards the ground. I was laughing, truly enjoying myself. He also made a lot of jokes, getting a little to raunchy for my taste. I couldn't help but laugh when he'd throw an arm around me and tell me I'd whipped his brother.

Jasper was truly interesting too. I felt like I was tempting fate, being near him, but I didn't tell anybody that. His eyes were always dark, but I trusted him enough. He told me about how he'd grown up in the 1800s, how he'd served in the Civil War. I learned a lot of interesting facts about how our social studies books were misleading and wrong. Jasper and I even had a little fun manipulating Rosalie's emotions. Not that we told her that, though. But Jasper would make her feel happy to have me around, and she'd smile at me beautifully for a half second before blinking, confused.

Alice was just happy to see we'd all started to get along. She would dance around, guiding me to and from my classes while chatting aimlessly about nothing. After school she'd taken to coming over and giving me makeovers. I secretly liked them, although I'd always put up a fight. It reminded me of before my mom got sick, how she'd put me in a chair and curl my hair. Alice was my mom with a special twist because she was also my friend.

My favorite memory was on Wednesday, a moment when all my friends came together to create the most awkward, hilarious scene in my existence.

"Hey Bella," Mike said, jumping next to me as Alice peeled off to her class.

"Hi Mike," I greeted him, averting my eyes. He didn't seem to notice though, his bright eyes shining.

"You've been hanging a lot with the Cullens," he observed as I shrugged.

"They're pretty nice, I think." He nodded, stopping in front of me. My face flushed as I realized the halls were beginning to clear out. I couldn't get past him, and I threw Angela a desperate glance from across the hall. She started toward me, but was cut off by a large figure standing in the doorway. The large figure caught Angela's eye, winking at her before they both put a finger to their lips. I tried to hide my smile as Emmett and Angela spied on me from across the hall.

"I think you and I should do something together too," Mike said, taking another step closer. I smiled weakly, trying to back up again only to find a row of lockers greeting me.

"As friends?" I squeaked, hopeful. His smile faded slightly, but it didn't stop his eyes from sparkling.

"I was thinking like a date," Mike said, suddenly unsure. "You know, if you want to."

I racked my brain, completely forgetting about Angela and Emmett across the hall as my face flushed, trying to think of a nice enough excuse. My brain conjured up an image of the night before, when Edward was trying to convince me to sleep. His crooked smile dazzled me into closing my eyes, his humming lulling me to sleep in seconds.

Suddenly a big arm was around my shoulder.

"Oh, a date with Bella?" Emmett's big voice boomed. Mike shrank back, I'm sure he'd never seen Emmett this close before. Mike nodded weakly, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"Mike, I'm not interested in a relationship right now," I said, trying my best to sound apologetic. Mike nodded, almost running away like a little girl. I felt bad for him as Emmett laughed hysterically, air fiving Angela.

"See you Swan," Emmett said, strolling into his class. I rolled my eyes, laughing silently as I slid into my biology seat.

In a way I felt bad for Mike, but having a big scary vampire there to fend off unwanted suitors really was nice.

Emmett took to it to trip me. Everywhere I went I had to watch for his foot sticking out. If I happened to trip over him, he'd laugh hysterically. I'm pretty sure they were very concerned at him giving away the secret. When I did something too clumsy, Jasper would take to it to double my embarrassment. I wanted to slap them, but I knew it would just hurt me.

Emmett made a song called 'clumsy Bella don't you fall on me' and had taken to singing it every time I managed to stumble or trip over him. He ignored my glares, laughing his booming laugh and clapping a hand on my back.

After school once, he and Jasper had taken me behind school. Emmett had proceeded to run in circles around me at super sped while Jasper upped my fear. Alice had found it annoying, finally getting Jasper to stop by suggesting they go somewhere 'private'. Needless to say, I got out of a makeover that day. Rosalie had thought it was childish and annoying, and she still didn't like me.

My days were long and tiring, and by the time I got home, let Alice give me a makeover, finished homework, and cooked dinner, I was exhausted. Charlie was never home early now, always arriving between eleven and midnight. I felt bad for him, having to work so late, and took to cooking really good dinners so that he would at least get something filling.

Nights with Edward weren't what I wanted them to be, either. Sometimes he would show up while I was cooking, his godly body sliding through the door, a crooked smile on his face. He would watch me as I prepared meals, but we hadn't kissed since the day I'd been over at his house. We hadn't said I love you since then, either. I was beginning to wonder if he was regretting it, but whenever I started to doubt it I would have to stop, because the idea of being unloved automatically brought nightmares and haunted images to my mind, causing me to shake and moan.

It was Thursday and I was walking through the doors to school. Alice wasn't speaking very much, and that was a first.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but she shook her head. She smiled brilliantly at me, leading me to class.

Emmett was frowning at lunch too, another first. I felt Jasper shooting calming waves at us, but after I mumbled 'quit it' he stopped.

"What's going on guys?" I practically yelled. They stared at me, amused. It was the first time I'd seen them crack a genuine smile all day. Alice seemed to have cheered up, and I wondered what she must have seen to make her so happy.

"Edward will tell you later," Jasper explained. I nodded as normal conversation continued. Well, if normal conversation consisted of Emmett shooting death glares at Mike for fun and saluting a laughing Angela. Rosalie went back to observing herself in a compact mirror, and Jasper and Alice were in their own little world. I didn't know what to do, so I got up and walked over to Angela. Emmett raised his hands in the 'why-did-you-leave-you-loser' way, smiling. I rolled my eyes at him, turning to Angela.

"We haven't talked much, so I figured I'd ask if you wanted to hang out Sunday," I said.

"Yea, that sounds like fun," she said, biting into an apple. "What do you want to do?"

I shrugged, thinking about it for a second. "You're seeing Ben now, right?" I asked, seeing her blush. She nodded, a shy smile creeping on her face.

"He's really nice," she explained, gushing about him. "He's just the right height, he's a great kisser, and his smile is just amazing." She blushed slightly, but I figured she had nothing on me in that department. Ben was a nice boy, noted for his manners. I was glad that she seemed happy with him.

"Why did you ask?" She questioned me. I shrugged, smiling at her.

"I was just trying to catch up on the gossip. Why don't you and I just have a nice girl's night in? Watch some movies, eat some popcorn. Does that sound okay to you?"

She nodded, twirling the apple in her hands. "Sounds fun. What day, Friday?" I thought about it for a second, realizing that Friday would put me in the position of not seeing Edward for a very, very long time. I sighed, realizing that Saturday would interfere with Alice's 'big plans' that she'd been keeping secret all day.

"Yea, Friday sounds good," I said, effectively hiding my frown from her. Jessica turned to me, a fake smile on her face. I'd gotten used to telling the difference between real and fake smiles. A real smile was when I was little, and my mother cuddled me against her when it was storming outside, complaining about how I was such a baby, although she kissed my forehead. A fake smile was one that the custody woman wore when she told me everything was going to be alright.

Jessica was wearing a custody woman smile.

"Do you think we could hang out too?" She asked, and I couldn't find a way to say no, or an excuse fast enough. I found myself smiling back, another custody woman smile, and nodding.

"Sure!" I said, maybe a little too peppy. "Why don't we all do something Friday?"

Jessica nodded quickly, turning her attention back to Mike. I wondered what her deal was. I said goodbye to Angela, turning to go to Biology.

I sat through the long lecture, my mind wandering to Edward as I lounged through the class. Gym was harder, and I was thankful Mike had forgiven me for rejecting him so easily. He volunteered to be my partner, and I was grateful, especially when I nearly took myself out tripping over the ball. We were playing basketball, and the entire gym knew by now not to pass me the ball unless they were willing to risk their life.

"Makeover today?" Alice asked, bounding next to me when gym was over. I shrugged, knowing that if I said no I would be faced with a giant guilt trip. Alice clapped her hands, leading me to her car. She'd taken to driving me to school too, saying it was a waste to have to come back for my car every day.

We pulled into my driveway minutes later. I was used to the routine by now –she'd already set up makeup and hair perfectionism products all over my table in my room – and trudged into the house. I sighed, knowing that the next hour and a half would be boring for me.

Alice skipped in ahead of my somehow, leading the way upstairs. She seemed more excited than normal, humming tunes. But maybe that was just me.

As usual, she wouldn't let me look in the mirror until she was finished. I rolled my eyes, but as usual was pleasantly surprised by my appearance.

"We should do this before school," Alice said. "That way people would see you. Or maybe you should start showering right after school, and then I can just do your hair and you'll sleep with it in. Oh! Yes, that will work. You're doing that from now on."

I groaned but knew I couldn't fight with her. My chest ached, and I didn't know why.

"I have to go, Bella," Alice said, skipping over to kiss both of my cheeks quickly. "Don't worry, tomorrow's Friday!"

She sped out of the driveway, turning onto the main road and disappearing within seconds. I glanced in the mirror, rolling my eyes at my best friend. She tended to get a little out of touch. I went to my closet, pulling out the dress she'd bought me in Port Angeles. As much as I hated to admit it, it was my favorite. I held it up to myself, examining my reflection.

"Imperfect," I muttered at my reflection. It was true; when Alice had shown me this dress it looked stunning. I went to my bathroom, slipping it on carefully. I walked out to examine myself, twirling around. It looked nice enough on me, but it wasn't nearly as gorgeous as it had been on her. I kept muttering imperfect, although another part of me whispered that it looked nice.

I shrugged, wishing I could stop having conversations with myself.

"It looks nice."

I jumped, turning to blush crimson. I couldn't find a proper response, since I'd been caught trying on a dress I was supposed to hate.

"How long have you been here?" I asked him, hugging him around the shoulders. He hugged me back gently.

"Long enough," he said, smirking at me. I blushed deeper, causing him to chuckle. He pulled back so that he could examine the dress. "It looks simply stunning."

I rolled my eyes at him, crossing my arms self consciously over my chest. "It does not," I muttered. He just wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close again.

It was like that day when we'd been in his house. He put one hand on my lower back, keeping me close to him. He locked eyes with me as he dipped his head to meet my warm lips with his cold ones. I felt a shock course through me, realizing my chest no longer ached. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him. I was starting to get dizzy, but when I pulled away for air he moaned, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Yes, it does," he said, referring to my dress. I was too out of breath to argue, so I just nodded, pulling his lips greedily back to mine. He obliged, moving his lips against mine slowly. It was a sweeter kiss, and I put all the emotion into it I could muster.

"I love you," he whispered in his gorgeous voice. My heart was racing as he shot me his dazzling smile.

"I love you, Edward," I said back. Then I thought of something.

"Alice said something was going on, something that you were going to tell me." I pulled away from him, going into the bathroom to change. Edward smiled at my new outfit – jeans and a sweatshirt.

"I must say, that looks beautiful too." I smirked at him, grabbing his hand as I walked carefully down the stairs. My heart was still pounding from the sudden kiss, and I grabbed the bread off of the counter.

"You're avoiding the topic," I pointed out, spreading some peanut butter on the white bread with a knife. I reached for the jelly, smearing some on the other piece. Edward made a disgusted face at my choice of a good meal, but let me lead the way to the couch.

"It's nothing," he said carefully. "Just some friends coming to visit. We used to live with them in Denali, Alaska."

It didn't sound like big news, so I was still skeptical.

"What's the big deal with that?" I asked. Then I thought about it for a second. Old friends, which meant females. "Edward, you didn't happen to be involved with one, did you?"

It only took his slight pause to send a trill of fear through me. I felt my heart start to panic, speeding up. He slipped his fingers through mine, kissing my nose.

"Bella, there was nobody there that I had any feelings for," he said. I looked into his eyes, which were shining with nothing but honesty. That made me feel better, but then I thought about his wording.

"Which one?" I whispered, taking another bite of my sandwich. Edward raised an eyebrow at me, much better than anything I could do.

"Which one liked you?" I clarified. Edward sighed, kissing our entwined fingers.

"Her name is Tanya," he said quickly, "But I told her in a very gentlemanly fashion that I did not share the same feelings as her. She doesn't quite get the message, however I think that she will this weekend."

I looked at him quizzically for a second before I realized what he was saying. "Edward! I can't go, there's going to be vampires there!"

I realized what I was saying and joined in his laughter. I shook my head, trying to clarify. "What I mean is, I don't want to get in the way of you and your girlfriend."

Edward rolled his eyes at me, and I was sure he'd be blushing if he could. "You're going to come and I'm going to show you off. I'm going to hug you and let Alice play Bella Barbie and watch you walk down those stairs in that dress in your closet. You're going to make Tanya the most envious vampire ever, love, and you don't even realize it because you're so completely perfect."

He kissed me softly, and I gasped when his tongue traced my lips lightly. He chuckled and pulled back, his eyes sparkling with humor.

"Well, that doesn't taste nearly as bad when it's coming from your mouth," he said, laughing. I blushed, leaning back over lay on his chest.

"You're weird," I mumbled as he turned on the television. He shrugged, accepting this, and I laughed.

"Tomorrow Angela and Jessica are coming over for a girl's night in," I said as we lounged casually.

"Oh?" Edward murmured, playing with my hair. Edward had a view of the television, I chose to watch his face instead.

"Yes, and its going to be fun because I sense that Jessica has an ulterior motive or something top secret, because she is way too interested in hanging out with me."

Edward chuckled, combing my hair with his long, slender fingers. "Really? Huh, Jessica having ulterior motives. Who'd have guessed?" I smiled, burying my face in his chest.

I hadn't dreamt of my mother in a long time, but that night, after Charlie had gone to sleep, I fell asleep in Edward's arms.

"_Mom?" I _c_alled, tripping down the stairs. _

"_What do you want?" A voice hissed. I heard classical music, Debussy, drifting from the living room. I followed it, seeing my mom curled in a corner. She glared up at me, confusion in her __usually light, carefree eyes. _

"_You're ruining music time," she whispered. Her confusion turned to hate as she stood up on shaky legs to greet me. I opened my arms, expecting a hug. Instead I got a sharp slap in the face. _

"_Mom!" I cried, pain evident in my voice. She stared at me as though I'd done something horribly wrong, as if I'd done something bad to her. _

"_Go away, leave me and baby alone," she said, turning back to the music. "I don't love you anymore." _

I woke shaking violently. I reached out for anything, gripping the bedsheets.

"No no," I murmured to myself. "No more." I realized then that I wasn't alone, that it wasn't me that was doing all of the shaking. I was cradled against Edward's cold marble chest, and the bedsheets weren't bedsheets, but his white button down shirt that I'd soaked through with my tears.

"Oh!" I cried, a little too loudly. I lowered it to a whisper as I continued. "Sorry, I just…"

"Nightmare?" Edward guessed, slowing his rocking. My dream seemed half as bad now, just a wisp of a dream in this wonderful fantasy I'd conjured up. How I managed to dream of Edward was beyond me, but I was enjoying it very much.

Might a well make the most out of dreams, right?

I nodded, climbing out of his lap so I was more conveniently seated next to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips gently against his. This dream Edward seemed slower than the ones in my normal dreams, more careful than the others. I smiled against his lips, pressing myself gently against him. I was happy that in this dream I at least seemed more alert.

Edward's lips were soft, hesitant against mine. I tightened my grip around him, molding the shape of my mouth to his. He seemed to react now, kissing me back with a little more energy than before. This dream Edward was past confusion now as he laid me down on the bed. I smiled for a moment before I realized that he wasn't going to kiss me, he was tucking me in. Dream Edward was not supposed to do this.

"What?" I asked as he chuckled, tucking the covers around me. "Don't you want to kiss me?"

Guilting the dreams usually helped, but this time he only smiled at me. "Of course I do, love, but I think you're a bit delirious. You called me dream Edward."

I frowned, rolling my eyes. "Duh" I said, leaning up to press my lips against him. But his strong iron arms were restraints on me, keeping us a safe distance apart. He was laughing now, but bent down to brush his lips softly against mine.

"Go to sleep, love, and you will see what I mean in the morning," he whispered, humming the familiar tune that put me to sleep instantly.

When I woke in the morning I blushed immediately, realizing what I'd done.

"Oops," I muttered, burying my face against my pillows. "This is so horribly embarrassing!"

Edward's soft chuckle rang in my ears from next to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, turning me so I was facing him.

"Really? Because you seem to have a lot of fun with dream Edward." I blushed, moaning. "No Bella, don't get me wrong. I wish I could be dream Edward." He sighed like a twelve year old girl and I slapped him.

"Don't make fun of me. I can't help that I got confused," I said, sighing. "I'm sorry."

He smiled at me, brushing the hair back. "Don't worry, I don't mind."

I moaned again and flipped out of the bed. Charlie had long since left for work, and I still had forty minutes. I got some breakfast, almost entirely forgetting about my nightmare. After I brushed my teeth and put on an outfit, I was pretty sure I'd accomplished everything.

"Time for Alice to come get me," I said, tapping my foot.

"You know, we aren't going to see each other until tomorrow afternoon," he mused, "So maybe you'll want to say goodbye now?"

"I think I said goodbye enough last night," I muttered, ignoring his chuckle. His cool breath washed into my ear, making my shiver, but for whole different reasons.

"I don't."

I giggled, turning to wrap my arms around him for a hug. I pulled back, burying my face into his neck.

"I do."

Alice pulled into the driveway, honking her horn for me to get to the car. Edward frowned, making me laugh, as I skipped out to the car. Somehow I managed to make it and not trip.

--

After school I hitched a ride with Angela in her car. Jessica tagged along, saying that they'd drop her off at the parking lot later. We rented movies and listened to Jessica gossip about absolutely nothing. By the time the second movie was ending Jessica had nearly bored me to death.

Angela was better at hiding her feelings though, nodding every few minutes to what she was saying and making little noises so it sounded like she was interested. If she hadn't been rolling her eyes at me every few seconds, I would have guessed she was seriously enjoying Jessica's talk about how perfect Mike was.

I got upset when she moved on to mention Edward Cullen, talking about how perfect he was, how much better than Mike he was. I all but kicked her out when she started getting into detail, and I said goodnight to Angela too.

"We have to do something, just you and me," Angela said as I ushered Jessica out the door. I knew she had some motive, I just didn't know what. I nodded though, happy Angela realized I wasn't kicking her out.

"Sunday?" I asked, grateful that she nodded.

"Can Ben come too though? I don't know what we're doing, but we wanted to hang out then. I hope you don't mind," she said, looking apologetic. The sun was setting by now, and the clock on the wall read nine o'clock.

"Sure, that sounds fun," I said, hugging her quickly. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Angela nodded and ran to her car, desperate not to get drenched in the sudden downpour. I ran inside, taking a warm shower and crawling into bed. Edward was hunting again, saying that he didn't want to tempt himself any more than he had to.

I thought about tomorrow. I wondered if Tanya and I could be friends, if it would really be okay. I wondered if Edward was going to realize how he felt about her, or if this was really going to be as easy as he said it was? I sighed, finally letting thoughts of nothing fill my head as I drifted into a peaceful and light slumber.

* * *

_Hoorayy, some tanya stuff going on. no, i don't like tanya, but hey, who does? i'll be updating, but if you give me some nice reviews im sure it will go a lot faster (:_


	15. Baseball games and Drill Sergeants

I woke with a start. A short, bubbly pixie was hovered over my bed, her eyes filled with excitement as she stood over my frozen body.

"Go away," I mumbled, flipping over to put the covers over my face.

"No."

Before I realized what was happening I was on the floor, having the covers thrown out from under me. Alice didn't look apologetic as she reached a hand out casually to help me up, bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Bella we have to get you ready! The Denali Coven is coming in only two hours! We have to get you smelling delicious and looking good! Chin up! Quit moping!"

I ignored her as she led me to the car, continuing to babble endlessly about outfits and how I needed to rub sleep from my eyes. I ignored her, not caring that I was still in my sweats and t-shirt from falling asleep the night before. Turning to find a more comfortable position, I noticed we were already pulling into their long winding driveway.

"Drats," I muttered as we approached the house. She opened my door, pushing me ahead of her as we entered the doorway. As usual, the white furniture was beautiful and elegant. People wouldn't guess that a houseful of vampires lived here.

"Bella!" A booming voice called from around the corner. I followed the voice to see Emmett in the living room. "You still tired? I see you didn't bother to bring normal clothes. Planning on sleeping again?" I blushed, looking down at my outfit.

"Hey, Emmett." He had an arm around Rosalie, grinning up at me from the couch. I glanced at the arm, tightened around her waist, and Rosalie's eyes, which glared at me from beneath a thin layer of blonde hair. I figured the arm was more to restrain Rosalie then to serve as a romantic gesture.

"Hi, Rosalie," I said tentatively, shrinking against the wall. She muttered something and buried her face in Emmett's shirt, ignoring me completely. Alice seemed oblivious as she tugged impatiently on my shirt, her short black hair bouncing around on her shoulders.

"Let's go!"

We left the room quickly, Alice leading me upstairs.

"You're going to love the coven. We used to live with them, you know. But too much attention is a negative thing, so we had to move. I've missed them so much!" She continued to talk as I was placed in the familiar chair. She combed my hair gently, but with much less patience than normal. I felt the heat from the curling iron brush gently against my scalp, causing me to wince.

"Oops, sorry," Alice muttered. I shook my head, burning myself again. We laughed for a minute before she got back to work.

After another hour of 'hold still' and 'perfect!', she was handing me the familiar dress from my closet. I slipped on the fabric, feeling the texture. I stepped out of the bathroom, curling my shoulders over myself to try to shrink away from Alice's appreciative gaze.

"Stand up straight, you want the coven to think the very best of you!" She barked at me. She was wearing a dress from Port Angeles too. Hers was strapless, short, and light green, which reminded me of her personality because it essentially screamed full of energy. Mine was a rich blue, Edward's favorite, and reached the top of my knees.

"You're starting to sound more and more like a drill sergeant and less like my best friend, Alice," I muttered. She shrugged, dancing around me with a brush as she fixed up minor details on my face. My heart was racing as I thought of the vampire clan coming to visit. What if they didn't like me?

Alice glared at me like she was reading my thoughts, so I glanced away from her steady stare.

"What time are they going to get here?" I asked to divert whatever was wrong with her. She closed her eyes, holding up her index finger.

"About… ten minutes," she said, smiling. "I can smell them!" Jasper came in and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was bouncing too fast to see now, and Jasper rolled his eyes as he kissed his love on the cheek, dragging her into the living room. I could still hear her excited babbling as I sighed and stretched.

"You look very nice," a voice said quietly from the doorway. I turned, my eyes trying to cover the shock on my face. Rosalie stood there, arms dangling at her sides uncomfortably as she leaned against the doorway.

"T-Thanks," I stuttered, looking over at her. Her blonde hair was perfectly straight, hanging like a thin silky wall to shield the left side of her face. She reached a hand up to brush it away from her face, throwing me a tentative smile. Her blood red gown highlighted her features, and her matching heels made me envious. Was she simply trying to make me jealous of her?

"Look," she said quietly, barely meeting my gaze, "I know I haven't been nice to you, and I'm sorry about that."

"You hate me," I stated flatly. She nodded her head sadly, locking eyes with me for the first time. A strange desperation was in them, and she was suddenly crossing the room to stand in front of me.

"They were right, I am jealous," she said, but quickly shook her head at my surprised expression, laughing. "No, I've never liked Edward like that. But… I've always been so used to the attention before, it was a bit of a shock when he rejected me at first. When I was first changed, I wanted him to like me. I love Emmett more than life, it was just a surprise to have somebody not feel that way for me. And when he felt those feelings for a human, that's another thing."

"You still hate me, though," I whispered.

"Does it help if I say I'm sorry for it? You wouldn't truly understand, because you're not there yet. But Alice sees things, things that I don't like. I apologize for being rude to you, but I'm angry that you're endangering me. Our whole family will be destroyed if Edward can't stay in control."

I nodded my head. "Sorry we can't be friends, I really think you'd have been nice to talk to, girl to girl." She nodded like she felt the same, closing her eyes. When she opened them she was smiling, glancing towards the door.

"They're here," she said. I felt a bolt of panic surge through me. I'd expected Edward to come and speak to me. I wanted, needed, him here to help me. Rosalie stepped out of the door, turning with a curious expression. "You coming?"

I nodded, taking a tentative step in the shoes. I didn't fall, which gave me a bit of confidence as I made my way to the staircase. I could hear the excited speaking from the families, unfamiliar voices mixed with the ones I had grown to love so much in the past week. I took step down the stairs and blushed when every person turned to me.

"Bella is Edward's…" Carlisle tried to explain, at a loss for words.

"Friend?" I tried, taking another step down the staircase. Alice rolled her eyes, and before I knew it I was in her arms, getting set down in front of the family. Carlisle smiled and shrugged.

"Whatever you prefer. Bella, this is Eleazer, Carmen, Irina and Kate. As Alice has told you, they're old friends. Friends, this is Bella."

"She's human," Eleazer said in wonder. "I know, of course, that you all interact with humans. But I never dreamed that you would have one as a friend!"

I ignored the mild insult, knowing that he didn't mean it. Carlisle went on to tell about our friendship, with Carmen and Eleazer listening intently. Alice was boasting about the shopping centers to the female, Kate, who was nodding her head appreciatively. I felt out of place against the beautiful families here, and felt myself slowly back away. I stumbled, grabbing the couch for support before I could fall. I realized then that I was much too comfortable to have landed on the couch, and glanced up to see Edward's lovely face so close to mine.

"Tripping already?" He asked, his cool breath caressing my face. I smiled at him, to which he returned my crooked grin bringing me to my feet.

"Hunting was good," he said after a moment, "But there wasn't very much selection."

I realized something after a moment, turning to look at the Denali Coven.

"Are you missing somebody?" I asked while Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Just then a strawberry blond strolled into the room, with short perfectly cropped hair.

"Hi, I'm Tanya," she said, extending a manicured hand towards me. I took it in mine, feeling the cool, marble texture.

"Bella," I introduced myself. She nodded her head curtly, placing a smooth hand on Edward's chest.

"Remember my offer," she said politely as Emmett fake gagged. I looked up at Edward with frantic eyes, but before I could open my mouth to speak Alice was squealing. Edward seemed happy to, whether or not for a distraction or what Alice was thinking.

"Baseball game anybody?"

I turned to stare at her, shocked. The females were all in dress clothes, beautiful gowns that wouldn't be fit for running. The males were all in khakis and button down shirts, freshly pressed. But at Alice's words every vampire in the room smiled widely, showing straight rows of white teeth and beautiful dimples. An excited murmur rose through the friends as they began to chat; apparently, baseball was a favorite game of theirs.

Edward glanced at me, tightening his grip on my waist.

"I don't have to play, do I?" I asked, my eyes wide with fear. I heard his low chuckle as he smiled at me.

"No, you most certainly don't. I think you'll enjoy it, though," he said. I nodded as Alice skipped around the room, Kate watching her with amused eyes. I had a feeling they were good friends.

"Bella this is going to be so much fun!" Alice said, grabbing my hands and pulling me away from Edward's grasp. She spun around with me for a minute before Emmett was cracking jokes.

"Careful, Alice, she might trip!" Even Carlisle was having trouble hiding his smile as he waved toward the door.

"I take it you've hunted, yes?" He asked the Denali clan as Alice dragged me to Carmen's side.

"Yes, just outside the woods before we came. You have a very nice selection down here." I listened, truly curious about their eating habits as they mused about animal populations.

"Bella, this is Carmen," Alice said. I smiled, reaching a hand out to shake hers. We were already moving, and I was trying not to stumble in the heels Alice had thrown me into. She skipped gracefully, undeterred by her own shoes, to Jasper's side.

"Carmen, tell me about your family," I asked, grabbing a tree for support as I stepped over a stump in the forest floor. They were walking at human pace, probably so I could keep up, and I glanced back to see Edward talking to Tanya. He was staring at me, and when he caught my gaze he smiled the smile he'd reserved just for me. I smiled back, almost tripping over another log.

"Well," Carmen said, obviously amused by my clumsiness, "We're just like the Cullens, obviously. We live in secret, just as they do. I'm more curious about you, though. How did you find out about our kind? Why…" She trailed off, not wanting to finish whatever it was she was saying. She glanced down at the ground, abashed. I figured I didn't want to know what she was going to ask.

"Well, a movie. I found out by a movie." She looked at me curiously for a moment before opening her mouth to say something. She closed it, debating whether or not to ask.

"I know this may seem a little rude, but what is your relationship to the Cullen family?"

"I'm bored of walking, aren't you?" Alice's loud voice saved me. I threw her a curious glance, but she gave me the 'shut-your-mouth-or-you'll-kill-everything' look, so I averted my gaze to my feet again. I knew she must have seen what I'd said, and apparently it didn't have a good outcome.

"I'm Alice's friend," I said. Carmen nodded as though it made perfect sense when Carlisle spoke up. He and Esme were walking next to Eleazer, and I knew they were only speaking loudly for my benefit.

"It really is a bit dull walking this slow," Carlisle said, "Shall we run?" Carmen looked at me, a hopeful smile on her face. I laughed and waved my hands forward, urging her to go. She squeezed my shoulder lightly before everybody was out of sight.

I walked forward for a moment before I realized I had no idea where I was going. I laughed, debating whether to wait for them or not.

"Like I would leave you," Edward said from behind me. I turned and raced, and stumbled, until I had my arms wrapped around his waist, breathing in his intoxicating scent. He put a finger to his mouth, bringing the other to press gently over mine. I gave him a curious glance, but he waited for another minute.

"They can't hear us now," he explained, letting go of my mouth. I smiled, tightening my grip around his waist.

"Do they not like me?" I asked, lifting my head to glance into his eyes. As usual, the light, amber color dazzled me.

"Are you kidding, love? They adore you!" Edward seemed truly confused at my question, so I decided I would drop it for now. I stood up straight, since the high heels made us the same height, and stroked his cheek. He grabbed my hand and reached over to kiss my palm gently, squeezing my fingers as he bent down to place his cool lips on my forehead.

"I missed you," he said as he threw me carefully on his back. I closed my eyes tightly as he sped into the forest. The feeling whipped my hair against my back, blowing around my face. "They can't know about us, at least now. Alice says it would cause a panic in some of the more… unstable, members."

I nodded against his neck so he knew I was listening, although I didn't like it. He ran for a few more minutes before we were stepping into a large clearing. Edward released me from his back and I slid down, almost falling onto the ground. The Denali members were staring at us curiously, but Edward just laughed as he reached a hand out to steady me.

"She was a little reluctant," Edward explained, although he winked at me when he was turned. I felt strangely rebellious as he handed me over to Alice. I saw how it hurt him, casually giving me to my friend and strolling to the outfield.

Esme came to stand by my side as the vampires settled into their respective teams. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Kate, Carmen and Irina would be on one team. Edward, Tanya, Alice, Eleazer, Esme and Rosalie would be on the other. I would be umpire, and I would have to dodge lots of stray hits. Edward grimaced when Esme told that to me, and Emmett laughed, probably imagining me falling away from a ball.

By the time they'd decided on teams half an hour had passed and I could tell that they were simply itching to play. Alice was practically having a heart attack on the field, and Jasper was trying to calm her down without showing his own excitement. I felt a wave of excitement wash over me, and started tapping my toe, impatient for the game to start.

"Let's go!" Emmett's yell could be heard from anywhere across the continental U.S. , I was sure of it. I heard a loud crack of thunder, a giant boom against the previous quiet of the sky before the field erupted in cheers.

Carlisle's team would be batting first. I saw Edward run into outfield in the blink of an eye. Tanya took her place next to him, only a hand's reach away. I felt a growl of my own build up in my chest, but I remembered Edward's words from earlier and bit it back. Alice was standing on the pitcher's mound, the rest of the team spread out on the field.

She wound up for the pitch, but a smooth velvet voice cut her off before she could flick her wrist and send the ball flying towards the batter.

"Maybe Bella shouldn't be standing right behind the batter?" Edward suggested casually, the whole team looking at him with curious eyes. I shot him a glance but he merely shrugged. "Bella's fragile."

The vampires shared a hearty laugh at my expense, and I was forced to stand on the side, away from the ball. I didn't get why Edward was being so controlling until I saw Alice's pitch.

With a mere flick of her wrist the ball was flying through the air, much faster than any professional pitcher could have dreamed of. Carlisle swung at the ball, whacking it with a thunderous roar that resonated off of the trees. I realized then why they'd waited for the thunder.

I thought for certain that Carlisle would have gotten a homerun, but Edward turned and ran into the forest before I could blink. He came back with the ball in his hands, casually tossing it from side to side, a wicked beautiful smile on his face. I let out a cheer, blushing when everybody on the field glanced at me with amused eyes.

"I don't have a team," I said, shrugging. Tanya ran up to Edward, throwing her arms around his neck in congratulations. I scowled, looking at the floor before I could see Edward's expression; I didn't want to.

The game continued like that for some time. I wasn't at all surprised to find that the girls could run in high heels as well as they could in bare feet. Emmett tried to get me to step up to the plate more than once, and Carmen entertained me with stories about her family when her team was up to bat.

Tanya was relentless, and I was really regretting having to hide our relationship. She was dangling off of him, brushing invisible things from his hair and whispering foul things that even I didn't have trouble hearing. Jasper looked uncomfortable, and I felt bad for him, having to stand here while Tanya released feelings of lust on him.

Emmett and Jasper got particularly engaged in the game. At points Emmett would shout insults at Jasper, which I found amusing because they were on the same team. Emmett's strength allowed him to hit the ball very far, which made his batting the most entertaining because he would shoot the ball into the outfield and Edward would run quickly to catch it. Emmett managed to score a home run, apparently a miracle in vampire baseball.

All in all, the game was entertaining, though. Rosalie continued to hate me, throwing glares at me when I called her out, but sometimes she would frown, and I knew I was getting through to her. Tanya was cordial to me, but I still felt like there was something I was missing.

"Game!" I called, flipping through the notebook Jasper had handed to me before the game started. I glanced at the scores, kept by a tally, and announced the winner. "Edward and Eleazer's team is the winner!"

Edward's team cheered, while Emmett's scowled and ranted about unequal pairings.

"Congratulations, Edward," Tanya said, jumping into Edward's arms. I scowled, kicking the ground with my toe and nearly tripping. Emmett's booming laugh could be heard from beside me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"We may have lost, Bella," he mused, strolling towards the woods, "But I will not go down undefeated!"

I glanced at him curiously before he launched a full tickle attack. I hadn't been tickled since before my mom went bad, and it was nice to be able to play with my big brother figure.

"Say I win!" He yelled, relentless in his attack on me. I was gasping for air, and I could feel Alice's angry glares at me for wrinkling the dress.

"You win!" I yelled as he pulled back to let me breath. He walked away, wrapping an arm around Rosalie. I caught her gaze as she rolled her eyes, not sure if it was at me or him.

"Shall we go back home?" Carlisle asked in his old age voice. Tanya nodded, glancing at Edward with wide, searching eyes.

"Would you run with me?" Tanya whispered, almost too low for my ears to hear. Edward shook his head, motioning to me. Tanya pouted, then whispered again, "Well, Alice or Esme could take her."

"I don't think that would be wise, Tanya," Edward said, fidgeting. "You can accompany us, though. I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind your presence."

I forced myself to shake my head no, mainly because I knew in a catfight I would be the kitten and she would be the tiger. I wasn't risking my fur today.

Tanya put on a sickeningly sweet smile and nodded.

"Shall we?" She gestured grandly to the woods ahead of us. Edward lifted me into his arms bridal style, but you couldn't disguise my overreacting heart as I was pressed gently against his chest. Tanya raised an eyebrow at me, and I realized how breathtaking she was. She deserved Edward more than I did, and she was just trying to show the world that.

"I can find my way back, I'm sure," I muttered, trying to scramble out of Edward's arms. Tanya waved at me as though she was ready to take off, but Edward looked at me with confusion on his face.

"No, really, you guys go," I said, stumbling backwards towards the clearing again. "I just need to think for a minute. Send Alice for me please?"

Tanya nodded, grabbing for Edward's hand. He shook her off, coming to look at me confused. Irritation was evident on his face, hidden under his mask, and I felt bad for making him mad at me. Another reason he belonged with perfect, tall, long legged Tanya. I gave him a small smile, hoping it looked reassuring. He stood firm though, rooted in place.

"Tanya, I suggest you leave," he said slowly, "You don't want to witness this fight."

I felt the words slap me across the face, fighting back the tears. His mask broke apart when he saw my tears, and winked at me. Tanya was out of sight in a flash, and I was cradled against his chest. He waited a moment before letting his anguish form words.

"Love!" He exclaimed, kissing my tears away. "What's wrong? Are you upset with me?"

"She's just so perfect," I mumbled, burying my face against his chest. "She's so pretty and perfect. I just have to sit here and watch her throw herself at you. You deserve her, Edward."

I heard his musical laughter fill the air and glanced up at him with confused eyes. "Alice says you're on your cycle," he explained, ignoring my furious blush, "And that's why you're so emotional."

I rolled my eyes, but his became soft and warm as he watched me. "Don't you realize that I love you and only you?"

He placed me on my feet and kissed my cheek so gently it was better than any real kiss. I wondered idly when he was going to finally kiss me, but decided that now was not the time. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him. I felt my heart speed up as his fingers brushed across my face. I felt my breath hitch with his as his fingers trailed down my neck, tracing my collar bone. My hands were limp against him as he waited for my answer. Bending his lips down slowly, he brushed them gently on my neck.

"I guess so," I agreed shakily as we stood together, my head against his chest as we listened to my heart slow. "But she really likes you, Edward."

Edward smiled at me, lifting my chin with his thumb and forefinger. "You are surprisingly adorable when you're jealous."

I hid my smile, turning away from him. Truth was, I couldn't help but be happy when Edward was around. So I shrugged and rolled my eyes, jumping into the air, knowing his arms would catch me. I was right, and he was staring at me with a shocked expression, his arms tucked under my body as I hovered inches from the floor. His eyes narrowed at me, but I knew he was more surprised than mad.

"Alice would have killed you if you stained the dress," he pointed out, but I only shrugged.

"I figured I would fall anyways, so I might as well make it interesting." He rolled his eyes, starting to run again, but I placed a hand firmly against his chest. "Wait!"

He stopped, glancing at me curiously. I tapped my ear, asking if they could hear us. He shook his head so I smiled, pressing my lips against his neck.

"I love you," I said. He smiled at me, dipping his head to brush his lips across my forehead.

"I love you, too," he said before speeding into the forest towards home.

It was late, and Alice had called Charlie and said that she wanted a girl's night in. Carlisle had confirmed that there were no boys in the house, although Charlie had no idea about Edward and I yet, and I didn't have any immediate plans to tell him.

Charlie didn't know the reason I was staying was that I was being held hostage against my will.

Alice and Kate had decided to play dress up, but I refused. I wanted to get to know the family, not spend hours upstairs letting two vampires do my hair and makeup. No thank you, I had enough of that for one day.

Tanya gave us a curious glance when we walked in, and Edward stood up in the living room, wrapping an arm around my waist and glancing at the room full of vampires.

"Okay my friends, I have a bit of news." The Denali coven looked at us curiously as Edward found his wording to continue. "Bella and I are… a couple, I guess you would call it."

Tanya gasped, glaring at me. I flinched into Edward and away from her gaze. Eleazer gasped, looking at us.

"Edward, surely you must be lying. She's a human! You can't be her mate!" I blushed at what he was referring to, burying my face in Edward's shirt as he chuckled.

"It's nothing like that," Carlisle explained, standing in the front of the room. Tanya looked shocked still, but managed to glare at me from behind a perfect layer of smooth hair. "Edward and Bella's relationship is nothing physically more than kissing. There is no…danger, for Bella."

Tanya spluttered, eyes narrowed at me. "She's still a human! A human that knows the secret of vampires! Surely she cannot be trusted!"

Edward's grasp on me tightened, and I looked up at him with concerned eyes. His gaze was tight on Tanya as he spoke. "Bella is the most trustworthy person in this entire room."

"Yea!" Emmett agreed, "She didn't even tell Rosalie when I talked about her!"

A loud thump and a 'Sorry baby' apology later, the room was tense.

"Do you have plans to change this female?" Tanya spat, still glaring at me. I didn't know what was wrong, but Edward's grip loosened and he looked at me with wary eyes.

"That hasn't been discussed yet," Alice chirped, her mood unaffected by the tension in the air. I felt waves of calm coming at me and frowned at Jasper.

"No."

Everybody in the room glanced at Edward, who was stiff. His eyes were dark as flint as he glared at Tanya.

"No?" I asked, realizing what he was saying. He didn't want me to be a vampire. He didn't want to spend forever with me. I glanced at his expression; angry and cold.

"No."

I stood there for a moment, too stunned to do anything. His eyes didn't hold an ounce of remorse, and he continued to glare at Tanya, ignoring my gaze. I struggled to twist out of his iron grip around my waist. Alice came over and pried his frozen arms away from my body, allowing me to escape with Esme into the kitchen. She sat me on the stool as I curled my legs under me, willing the tears not to come. I turned on the radio in the kitchen so I wouldn't hear the hushed voices in the other room, discussing my becoming a vampire.

"What are they saying, Esme?" I asked as she poured some noodles into a pan. She looked at me softly, reaching a hand over to envelope mine.

"They're talking about you becoming a vampire. There are… complications, to you knowing. Humans aren't allowed to know about us, being vampires. I'll have to let Edward explain later, when he's up to it."

When he's up to it. I repeated the phrase in my head as the noodles came to a boil.

"He doesn't want me," I whispered quietly, not caring that my voice cracked at the end. Esme shook her head, squeezing my hand gently.

"That's not it. It' complicated, Bella. He will explain, I promise you."

I shook my head, watching her work diligently over the meal. I was grateful that I'd met somebody as kind and caring as Esme, the motherly figure I wanted so badly. A woman for whom I could come to with my worries and concerns and know that she would care for me and listen. Somebody to make me dinner and help me with my problems; I hadn't had a real mother figure in so long.

"Oh Esme!" I cried, standing to wrap my arms around her. She was confused by my sudden outburst of joy, but hugged me back nonetheless. "Thank you!" I blubbered, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"For what, dear?" She asked, patting my back gently. I buried my face in her neck, breathing in her scent.

"For being my mother! You're just so wonderful!"

She laughed, squeezing me gently. "Aw, Bella, thank you."

I laughed shakily, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand and blushing furiously. "Sorry for my outburst. I was just thinking about my mom and how you're so similar. I've missed it."

"It's okay, Bella," she said softly, pulling away to stir the noodles. "It's natural for you to miss your mother. Know that I will always be here for you, though."

I found myself tremble as memories of my mother flashed into my mind. I was only temporarily sidetracked by the fact that Edward didn't want me to be changed, and by the time that Esme had served up my food it was all I was thinking about.

"I think I'm going to go to sleep," I said after a moment, glancing at the clock. They'd spent the whole day playing baseball, and I figured after I showered I would only be going to sleep an hour early.

"Okay, Bella," Esme said softly, cleaning up my plate.

"Thanks for dinner," I said, stepping tentatively into the living room to say goodnight. Edward was still standing in the center of the room like a statue, Tanya next to him. I shuddered, glancing at Emmett. He rolled his eyes, causing me to at least smile a little.

"Goodnight," I said quietly, knowing they'd all heard me in the kitchen. Even Emmett didn't make fun of me for my outburst with Esme. Edward glanced at me, an anguished stare, but I diverted my attention to the floor.

"Goodnight," they said back. Alice led me upstairs, and it was then that I realized I didn't know where I would be sleeping.

"You'll have to go in Edward's room," Alice said, leading me up the stairs. I rolled my eyes, since it was the exact place I wanted to be right now.

"Here," she tossed me some pajamas she must have bought for me and pointed to the bathroom across the hall. "Ignore Edward, he'll get over himself. Goodnight Bella."

She was gone, leaving me to my shower and nothing else. I sighed, hearing the hushed whispers from the first floor. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the warm water, seeing that Alice had already placed my favorite shampoo in there for me. I let the water run down my back and when it was finished I shut it off quickly, looking at the pajamas for the first time.

"Alice!" I hissed, hearing Emmett's laugh and Alice's tinkling giggles drift up the stairs. The pajamas were nothing more than boy shorts and a tank top, made of black lace no doubt from France. I was just happy it covered the essential parts of my body.

I slipped it on and ran into the bedroom, looking for the blanket Alice had left in the room. I blushed when I realized they were downstairs with her, most likely, and tip toed to the top of the steps.

I peeked my head around the corner so I could see the living room without exposing my body.

"Alice! Give me the blankets!" Emmett laughed again, and I heard several other giggles drift up. I didn't hear Edward's though, only his stiff voice arguing with Tanya, Carlisle and Eleazer. I sighed, some things weren't going to change.

"Come and get them," she sang, appearing at the bottom of the steps. I realized I wasn't going to get them without going downstairs and took a tentative step forward. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, after Emmett's hoots and hollers, and Jasper upping my embarrassment, I caught Edward's gaze.

His mouth was opened slightly, and I blushed furiously, snatching the blankets from the couch.

"Thank you Alice," I said, menace in my voice as I wrapped the blanket around me securely. Edward glanced at me a moment longer before I turned away from him and ran up the stairs. I didn't need to be around his anger any more tonight. "Goodnight!" I yelled, slamming Edward's door shut.

I closed my eyes, letting the tears come silently. As long as I didn't make any noise, I was sure I'd be fine. The humiliation moments earlier was nothing compared to an hour previous. Getting told that your boyfriend, your love, doesn't want to be with you forever is a pretty sharp slap in the face.

I was barely aware of the door slipping open. My favorite person came in the room, but I turned away from him to hide my tears.

"Bella," he said carefully. I looked up at him, and he must have seen something in them because he flinched, reaching a hand out. I turned away from his hand though, burying my face in his pillow. I was laying on the couch, but it was very comfortable.

"Go away Edward," I said, hearing my voice quiver.

"Let her sleep," a voice said from the doorway, "Come downstairs with me."

I glanced up to see Tanya standing at the doorway, wearing a new dress than she had been earlier. I moaned, flipping back over. Edward scowled at her.

"Tanya, please? A moment alone would be appreciated," Edward said not-too-nicely. Tanya left for a moment and Edward turned me to him, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes were burning with a sadness that was so old it haunted me, and I flinched from his gaze.

"You don't want me," I stated blankly, my voice ridden of all emotion. He shook his head quickly back and forth.

"You don't realize what it's like to be us," he said sourly. "I don't want that for you."

"You don't want forever with me," I said, anger returning inside of me. "Edward, please, just leave me be. I just want to sleep."

"Bella, I will always want forever with you," he argued, ignoring my second part of my sentence. I wanted to be angry though. I didn't want to forgive him so easily.

"You seemed pretty objectionable to it earlier," I pointed out, fingering the hem of my shirt. Edward glanced at my outfit and let out a shaky breath, opening his eyes a moment later.

"Why did she have to stick you in that," he muttered. "I wasn't objectionable to it earlier. Bella, you have no idea what it's like to be one of us. The pain… the suffering. I believe I don't have a soul, Bella, because I am a monster. I've killed people. I stalked them at night and I drank their blood. I never want to put you through that. You deserve a chance at a normal life. Growing up, marrying, having children, growing old together with somebody. Can't you see that?"

I rolled my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're saying you want me to be in love with somebody else, Edward. Now you've captured my heart and I have the feeling you're not letting it go. Not that I'd give it up anyways, so what you're saying is ridiculous. I can _not_ be happy without you."

"Bella, becoming a vampire means giving up your soul. Now I will never be happy without you, but I'll be damned, no pun intended, if I let you serve the same fate as me."

I glared at him from beneath my hair. "You are not a demon, Edward. I refuse to think that. I want to be a vampire, and I know someday you'll see my logic."

He reached out to take my hand and I let him, because I couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"You're not going to become a vampire, Bella," he said sternly, a fiery determination blazing in his eyes.

"You just wait," I said, truly feeling the urge grow inside me. Forever with Edward seemed so simple, so natural, so wonderful. I hadn't even thought of it earlier, but now I wanted it desperately. I needed him like I needed oxygen, and what better way than to become him? I smiled at him, leaning over to kiss his nose. My determination seemed to surprise him, and he glanced at me with eyes with equal determination in his eyes.

Edward was determined to keep me human. I was determined to become a vampire. I had a feeling that this fight was only beginning.

"You just wait."

**sorry guys, itll be a while before i update again. my parents are fighting constantly, and im really bailing out of my house a lot these days. but no worries, i WILL update again! just be patient and i'll bless you with action and fluff beyond your wildest dreams! **

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	16. Kiss Me

I'm sorry for not updating! I have finals, and I figure you all have a right to know that updating once a week is probably going to become normal. That wont make you stop reading my story though, will it?!

I would like to dedicate this chapter to **Angels for Airwaves**. Your reviews are always amazing and inspiring. So thank you!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. This series belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

The rest of the weekend past in a slow, drizzly blur. I was nearing the point of tearing of Tanya's head, although I knew for fact that trying so would only hurt me more than it would hurt her. In fact, I would probably break a finger when my grip tightened too much against her. The way she threw herself at him, despite his protests and angry murmurs, she continued to bat her eyelashes and not-too-subtly lay a smooth, perfect hand against his arm. Her giggle was like the tinkling of bells, and I waited childishly for Edward to run off with her and leave me alone.

He continued to prove me wrong, though. In the few moments that we could be alone together, Edward would run me to special places to lay alone with me. Sometimes, we would watch television and a movie together, his arm wrapped around me tightly.

I grew particularly close to Carmen and Kate, mainly because they were the females I could relate too. Irina was nice, but she seemed closer to Tanya, and watched every movement I made with skeptical eyes. They all seemed to find my clumsy movements to be humorous, although they didn't laugh at me like Emmett.

Emmett continued to crack jokes about me. Part of the reason that I never got to spend time with Edward was that Emmett would realize that I was planning on going for a walk and sweep me into his arms up high and threaten to throw me across the room if Edward tried to take me. I knew he was kidding, mainly because Edward would smile and sit down. It was strange to watch him so laid back, and I was guessing it was because his friends were visiting and he could finally let the strings loose with more people than just his normal family.

Esme cooked me amazing dinners with Tanya, who I had suspected of poisoning me when I got sick on Saturday morning. Edward said that their motives were purely sincere, but I wanted to think that she had something more up her sleeve, so I got slightly annoyed at her, although I tried my best not to show it. Their cooking was surprisingly good, however, for a houseful of people who never ate. I had three course selections at every meal, and snacks were constantly in the kitchen waiting for me to devour. Edward didn't see how I could eat frosted cookies so delicious; he complained many times those two days about how it smelled and looked like cardboard.

He didn't like me to mention becoming a vampire. It was a small sore spot on the conversation, and I knew that our fight was only beginning. I decided not to bring it up anymore, mainly because I didn't want to spoil a perfectly good weekend alone with the love of my life. It turned out that Tanya would be dropping by in another few months, to make sure that we were all doing well. I didn't really like her much, but I said goodbye on Sunday night and hugged them all.

"It was nice meeting you all," I said quietly, my shyness returning as I wrapped the white knit scarf around my neck. Edward chuckled, reaching over to slip the matching hat over my hair, ignoring Alice's protests. He bent down to kiss my nose, red from the biting air blowing in from the open door.

"See you," Tanya said casually, perching herself casually against the white sofa. "I'll see you when you get back, Edward?" She had a smile on her face, but even I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what she was thinking.

Edward looked at her curiously before smiling. "I suppose so." My head shot up in alarm, and I figured there was constricting emotions on my face. I wanted him to stay with his old friends, because they would be leaving soon. But the more selfish part of me wanted him to stay over and hold me while I fell asleep. He just chuckled at my expression and brushed two fingers down my face softly.

"Bella, our family would like to do something for you, and you know how Alice likes to plan," he explained, wrapping his arms around me tenderly. The whole room seemed to melt away as he spoke, his chest pressed gently against mine. I could feel his strong muscles through the fabric of the shirt, and even though I was in the most comfortable position I could think of, I frowned.

"I don't need a surprise," I tried to reason with him. "I just... you know how I hate them."

He lifted my chin up so our eyes were meeting, and the dark black color of his eyes made me shiver.

"Shall I change your mind, then?"

I could do nothing as he kissed my cheek softly. His cool lips traveled to my neck, caressing the skin. My heartbeat was coming frantically in my chest now, and I was sure that everybody in the room could hear it. I remembered the people standing a few mere feet away, and pulled away from Edward, blushing furiously. He simply smiled and pressed his lips to my forehead gently, chuckling.

"Now, what were you saying?" He asked, his cool breath in my ear.

"I-I can't remember," I said, still searching for breath. I peeked over Edward's shoulder to look at the family before me. Esme, Carlisle and Alice were smiling happily along with many members of the Denali coven. Tanya, on the other hand, was looking away. I sighed and turned to the rest of the family, smiling weakly even though another blush pooled into my cheeks.

"Bella, we as the Denali coven would like to present you with this gift," Eleazer said, smiling as he crossed the room with Carmen to place a small box in my hands. I fingered the smooth exterior of the box, encompassed between my frigid fingers, still aware of the fact that Edward's arms were still wrapped around my waist, my back against his chest.

"Are you going to open it?" Edward asked, smiling against my neck. "I'm sure that there may just be something inside."

He wrapped his hands with mine, lifting them to open the box. I gasped quietly when I saw the small diamond pendant perched in the center of the box. It had rubies attached to form a heart around the shining jewel. The pendent was supported by a thin silver chain, and it nearly took my breath away.

"I didn't know if it would be too much. We had it handcrafted in Europe a while back, and we just happened to find it. Do you like it?" Kate asked, and for the first time there I felt a connection with her. I smiled at her, nodding my head.

"I can't accept this though," I said as politely as I could. It must have cost way too much, and Irina must have seen the look in my eyes because she smiled a warm, butterscotch smile and slipped it slowly out of my hands.

"Don't worry, Bella," she said, taking it and placing it in Edward's hand. "I'll just let him talk you into it later." I rolled my eyes but smiled as she pulled me out of Edward's embrace and wrapped me in a hug once more.

"Until we meet again."

I nodded and smiled at her, waving as Edward took my hand and led me out the door. It was freezing outside, meaning Edward couldn't wrap an arm around me. Their cars were down a ways, but he didn't seem to be in a hurry as we walked slowly down the road. I really didn't mind the cold, mainly because being cold was nothing in comparison to spending less time with Edward. He frowned as he squeezed my hand, but wouldn't tell me what was wrong as he buckled me in and shut the door.

"Seriously Edward, you can tell me."

He bent down to lean casually against the window, smiling at me dazzlingly. I felt the familiar beating of my heart as it tried to force its way out of my chest He chuckled before leaning in to kiss the corner of my lips softly before tossing the keys to Alice, who suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"What?"

Alice laughed, jumping into the driver's seat.

"Really, Bella," Alice said like I was a child, "What would Charlie think if you stayed over for the weekend with a houseful of boys your age? No, right now Edward's getting released from treatment, and Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper drove out to get him. It's all about the cover."

I rolled my eyes but smiled as I leaned out of the window and puckered my lips. Edward laughed and bent down to press his lips against mine, but paused and pressed them to my forehead instead.

"Alice will kill me if I do that now," he explained. I turned to Alice, who was impatiently tapping her foot. It scared me how close her foot was to the gas pedal, but she didn't seem to care nor notice my discomfort. I dipped my head back in the window in case the speed of the car accelerating ripped off my head.

"See you later?"

Alice slammed on the gas pedal, zooming down the road. I barely saw his head nod, and nearly missed his crooked smile before we were turning off of the driveway.

"Girl you're severely messing with my boy time!" I yelled, slamming my head against the headrest and closing my eyes. She raised an eyebrow at me, an amused expression on my face.

"Are you on one of those cheesy talk shows now?" She asked as I blushed.

"No, it's just Tanya," I said, feeling suddenly less important as I rated myself next to her, "Tanya's been talking to Edward a lot, and I barely got to see him even though we were together the whole time."

Alice nodded and I looked up, seeing that we had pulled into my driveway. Alice hopped out and I followed as she skipped through my unlocked door.

"Charlie! It's Alice! Bella's home!"

Charlie came out looking sheepish, greeting me with a small smile before blushing slightly. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just turned around and led the way into the kitchen.

"Charlie!"

The kitchen was filled with smoke, but I could see that whatever had been making it had fried itself dry. I warily walked to the source of the smoke, leaning over the frying pan to peer inside.

"What is that?"

The mass was hard to place, and I couldn't think of anything that looked like that before.

"Well it was supposed to be chicken. I tried to cook something special for you so you wouldn't have to worry. Fix it?" I rolled my eyes at how child-like Charlie seemed, but couldn't stop the smile that made its way onto my face.

"Well I can see Bella has some work to do," Alice said to us, "I'll see you in school tomorrow Bella."

"Why don't you stay and eat? I'm sure Bella can find something you'd like." Alice covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled and winked at me.

"I really don't think you'd like that too much, Charlie."

He looked confused, glancing at the food. He probably thought that she was thinking that we'd poison her. But she was right, Charlie wouldn't be too pleased if she decided she was up for some food after all.

"Okay," he said slowly, offering her a small smile and a wave. Alice looked at me curiously and shook her head as if she was warding off a headache. She pinched the bridge of her nose tightly and let out a deep breath before looking up and smiling back.

"I'm actually not feeling that well," she said slowly, her eyes still holding the confusion. I mouthed 'what' to her, but she just grinned warily before hugging me gently. She was out of the room before I could blink, but Charlie was so consumed with dinner that he barely noticed. I sighed and walked over, patting his shoulder sympathetically as I threw all of his hard work into the garbage. He laughed and leaned against the counter, watching me as I took out some new chicken to bake.

"Did you finish all of your homework?" He asked, probably thinking of things to talk about. I nodded and looked toward the backpack lying in the corner. Alice had finished it for me when I wasn't paying attention, saying that Edward would have made me do it all weekend. She also said that she saw me getting an A, even if I'd written it myself. Sometimes it was good to have a psychic vampire as a friend.

"Got it done yesterday," I said, listening to the chicken sizzle against the frying pan. He nodded and slipped out of the room after a moment, saying he needed to shower before dinner was finished.

I worked in silence for a while, thinking back to my weekend. It was enjoyable, but I desperately wished Edward would kiss my _lips_. He obviously wasn't hesitant about kissing my neck, and I smiled at the thought. I decided I would try to get him to really kiss me soon. I was enjoying my thoughts just as the phone rang shrilly.

"Hello?" I answered, tucking the phone between my ear and chin as I reached into the freezer for a vegetable. I half expected the silk voice of Edward, or possible the rambling tone of Jessica as she talked about Edward, but I didn't expect the unfamiliar voice.

"Hello, Bella?" A deep, husky voice asked me seriously; he seemed uncomfortable. I wracked my brain, but I couldn't find anybody with such a tone in my memory.

"Yes? May I ask who's calling?" I threw the bag of corn on the counter, grabbing a bowl. One of the oldest tricks my mother taught me was that, to cook a vegetable in five minutes, you just put it in a bowl and put a lid over it. I slipped into in to the microwave, making sure that the plate was securely over the bowl, setting the timer for five minutes.

"Hey, it's me, Jacob," he said, and suddenly it clicked into place. His voice sounded so different though, older almost.

"Jacob!" I cried, feeling oddly happy. "Did you get my message? I called you, but your dad said you were sick or something."

I could almost see him nod on the other line, and tried to imagine where he was. Was he standing in his house? Something told me that he had a small house, due to the fact that the small town I'd visited with Angela seemed to be a tiny town, and I just couldn't fathom mansions lining the streets.

"Yea, my dad told me to call you back." I flinched, mainly because he sounded extremely angry.

"Well, you could have just lied," I spat into the phone, and I heard him sigh on the other line. "Forgive me for caring."

"Bellaaaa," he said slowly, making some of my anger ebb away at the edges. "I'm sorry, it's just, I've been really sick for a very long time. I haven't really been up for anything. Sorry about getting sick that day."

"It's fine, Jacob. You're feeling better now though?"

I heard his laugh, biting and sarcastic.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get better."

"What's wrong? Are you… Are you going to be okay?" I said frantically, reaching into the microwave. I pulled out the vegetable and leaned over to flip the chicken, which was a beautiful shade of golden brown. The smell wafted up to my senses, calming me slightly.

"Yea, Bella," he said, his voice still dark as he answered. "It's not like that. I just… well, it's complicated. But enough about that, I want to hear about you."

I smiled and told him about school. How much homework we had and how the teachers were unfair. He asked about my job, and I told him that I was unemployed, although I would be looking around shortly because I was running low on money. He laughed at that, and although it was still tortured, there was a lift to it that made me smile. It amazed me that this person I hardly knew could bring my mood up.

"You don't have a job?" He yelled, laughing on the other line. I laughed too, grabbing some plates from the cupboard as I dished out Charlie's food.

"No! We can't all be as amazing as you," I said sarcastically as Charlie walked in. He looked at me curiously but I just shrugged as I set his plate down on the table.

"Yes, I suppose that's about right," he mused. "Oh! You're eating?"

I pulled the phone away from my face, glancing at it. I wasn't sure how he heard that, but at the moment it didn't really matter to me.

"Yea, but it's no big deal," I said as I cut into my meat. It did smell good though, but that didn't mean I wanted to stop talking to him.

"No, that's okay. My dad just wanted me to return your call. I was wondering if you wanted to come by the restaurant again. Just as friends, don't get your hopes up. But it would be nice to get to talk to you without one of us nearly throwing up or something."

I smiled as I popped a piece into my mouth and chewed slowly. "Sure, just tell me when. As long as you promise not to get sick again, I think we can manage."

I almost saw his grin on the other line. "How about tomorrow. I get off at seven."

"Oh, okay that sounds good! But I'm confused of something before I let you go."

"Yea, Bells?" He asked.

"Billy said we couldn't hang out for a very long time, that you were really sick. Not that I'm not happy that you're feeling better, I was just curious. He seemed almost… mad at me."

To my surprise, Jacob's deep chuckle rang through the speaker. "Billy likes to make things into a bigger deal than he should. Anyway, I'll leave you be. Enjoy your dinner and I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, you will. Bye Jacob!" I hung up the phone and into the eyes of Charlie.

"Jacob's nice," he noted as he took another bite of his chicken. "This is good, better than what I make."

I laughed and continued to eat. After Charlie was finished I cleared the dishes, washing them and placing them back into the cupboard. Charlie retired to the living room to watch the game. I decided that I had enough excitement for tonight and crawled upstairs to the bathroom. I'd been so absorbed in spending all my time with Edward that I'd barely slept, desperate to keep him with me as much as possible. Not that he would have left for a moment anyway, because he said he liked to listen to me sleep.

I turned on the shower now, letting the warm water unknot my back slowly as I washed my hair. I finally had to admit defeat when the water grew cold, and stepped out reluctantly to face the cold air around me. I shivered, grabbing the towel and immediately wrapping it around my shivering body as I glanced at m reflection in the mirror.

My face was flushed, although it was probably from the shift in temperatures. I brushed my teeth slowly, although I was eager for the comfort of a soft, warm bed. I crossed the hall into my bedroom, making sure my towel was wrapped around me as I hopped into my room. I stumbled, nearly falling as I made my way over to my underwear drawer.

"I wouldn't change just yet," a surprisingly husky voice said from the corner of my room. Half of me expected Jacob, but when I turned I was greeted with Edward, sitting in my rocking chair.

"Edward!" I yelled, my cheeks flushing as I glanced down at myself. I gripped the towel tighter around my body, shifting my eyes to the floor as I backed slowly out of the room.

"I didn't say you had to _leave_,"he clarified, sending shivers down my spine. I didn't know what to say, but I knew that I couldn't just stand there frozen looking like an idiot.

"Then… Uh, what do you want me to do, exactly?" My voice was shaking as my fingers turned white to make sure the towel didn't fall off of my body.

"Just stand there, really," he said softly, a silly grin on his face as he chuckled at my expression. My face flushed crimson, and I was willing to bet he could hear my heart pounding desperately in my chest. "I was merely joking, love. Go change."

I scurried out of the room, making sure to grab my clothes. I was completely self conscious now as I slipped into my pajamas. I walked back into the room, not meeting his gaze as I sat on my bed, folding my hands in my lap and turning away.

"I thought you were going to be gone," I asked after a moment.

"I am. I just wanted to say goodbye. But that was more than enough, so thank you for that." I blushed again as I felt him lower his body onto my bed and frown at me.

"Aw love, I was only joking. Did I upset you?" He asked, worry making his brow furrow as he gently stroked my arm. I shook my head and glanced at him quickly.

"No, I was just a little embarrassed," I clarified. He wrapped his arms around me softly as he lifted me up to the rocking chair. I snuggled against his chest as he rubbed soothing circles against my back. He was humming a tune again, so soft and sweet that I grinned up at him, my embarrassment nearly fading away.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, love. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, since I didn't really get to tell you earlier. If I stay here for long, Emmett might storm through the front door to get me, and I'm fairly certain that Charlie wouldn't enjoy that very much."

He chuckled lightly, moving us after another moment to sit on my bed. He laid me so I was completely flat against the bed and laid next to me quietly.

"I love you," I said simply as I turned on my side to look at him.

"I love you more," he said softly, brushing his lips against my forehead.

"Edward?" I asked, feeling suddenly self conscious as he leaned across me to grab my hands, intertwining our fingers. He laid his head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat as it beat rhythmically against the quiet of the room.

"Yes, love?"

"How much do you love me?" I asked, meeting his eyes. They were soft, warm and golden, making my heart pound furiously in my chest.

"More than my life. More than the sun, the moon and the stars. I love you more than I've ever loved any other. I love you more than the snow, the rain and the sky. More than the earth and all of the planets. If I could, I would reach up and grab you the moon and hand it to you, so we could sit and watch it all night."

I smiled, staring down at our hands. He sat up so he was hovering over me, his elbows propping him up on both sides of my body. Our chests were nearly touching, and I felt my heart pick up speed at how amazingly perfect he was. He lifted my chin to look in my eyes. His expression was confused as though being this close had no effect on him whatsoever. I immediately rethought my plan, but I knew if I didn't ask now, I might never get the courage to again.

"What is it that's bothering you?" He asked softly, brushing my hair away from my eyes and tucking it behind my ear. I chose not to answer, simply spit out the question that was burning the edge of my lips.

"Kiss me, please."

* * *

**NOTICE: **i'm looking for a beta for this story. just PM me if you're interested (:

**note this!: **my chapters WILL be growing shorter. sorry! but i can update a lot faster, and i think my chapters will be better if i don't have to write as much. anyway, i appreciate your reviews! (:


	17. Surprises

Thanks to my new awesome beta! **Angels for Airwaves**, aka Sammie!

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **Mickey and Minnie**, for taking the time to read through my whole entire story, not to mention reviewing constructively along the way. Those are the best kind of reviews (:

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. It's all Stephenie Meyer

* * *

His eyes locked with mine for a moment, one eyebrow raised. But a moment later the most beautiful crooked smile spread across his marble lips, and his lips moved closer as his cool, sweet breath blew into my mouth. My heart began to beat erratically in my chest, and I feared for a moment that Edward would worry for my safety too much.

"Ugh," Edward muttered, his sweet scent so close. He pulled away quickly and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Charlie's coming up to check on you. Emmett's seriously considering barging down the door, so I think that for both you and me, I should go."

"Edward," I moaned, burying my face into his neck. He chuckled, running his hands gently across my cheekbone. He bent down to kiss my cheek softly, lifting himself off of me as he rolled off of the bed.

"Goodnight, love," he murmured as he opened the window quietly.

"Edward?" I mumbled as he turned to look at me. His eyes shone with warmth as his gaze caught mine, and I cursed my father for choosing to check on me at right this moment.

"Yes?"

"Would you have?"

He seemed to understand my question, despite the fact that I had my face buried in my pillow. I turned to look at him once more, a smile on my lips even though a warm blush was flushing my cheeks.

"How could I refuse you, love?"

Then he was gone. I sighed, waiting for Charlie to open the door. Moments later he did, and I decided that pretending to be asleep would be the safer idea. After all, how else would I have explained the flush in my cheeks and the disappointed expression that clouded my face?

After I heard the door click shut, I focused on evening my breathing and heart rate. I couldn't get over how close I'd come to finally kissing him, however, and after a half hour I still couldn't control half of my mind from obsessing over him. When I'd gotten past the missed kiss, my mind began to wander back to old times. I was alone, essentially, even though my father slept soundlessly only a few doors down. Nobody was there for me, nobody wanted to stay with me when I needed them the most.

The good, logical side of me argued that this wasn't true, that Edward was gone because he was planning a surprise for me; that Edward had just told me that he would have kissed me if he'd had had another moment or two.

The bad, illogical side, the side that had lived with my mother for the past few years during her downward spiral into a delusional state, argued that he was simply looking for excuses to leave. I tried to push both aside, but soon I found myself sitting in my kitchen and staring out the window.

I don't know how long I looked out those windows, but when I looked back at the clock I saw that it was nearly two in the morning. I scrambled out of the kitchen, shoving all my thoughts aside as I tried not to trip in the darkness of the room. I stumbled a few times, but I was still in one piece when I tiptoed into my room quietly and shut the door.

As I lay in bed, memories of my mother came flooding back to me.

"_Hey mom, I'm going to the movies with Amelia. I'll be back by eleven," I said, grabbing my coat. I was used to my mom's episodes by now. If I told her I was doing something, instead of asking, I was more likely to get my way. _

"_Sure sure," she said, patting the baby bump affectionately. It was before Scott said he was moving away, and she was in a slightly better mood than I suspected she would be in the next few months. _

"_I love you mom," I said quietly, glancing at her. She barely noticed me anymore, and just right now she was cooing at the bump at waving. Her eyes were glazed over, however, and all of the original sparkle was all but diminished in her eyes in the last few months. _

"_You what?" She asked, snapping her gaze upward to meet my eyes. I jumped back, shocked to see that even though she was looking right into my eyes, I barely felt her gaze. _

"_I love you, mom," I whispered. _

"_And I love baby," she murmured, turning her attention back to her stomach. I blinked furiously to keep the tears in my eyes from pooling over, and turned to run out the door. _

By the time that I managed to fall asleep I had tears in eyes and I was blushing them furiously from my eyes. I knew though, that soon sleep would come, and I would find myself encased into a warm, wonderful world.

-

I woke up shivering, shaking from a nightmare I couldn't remember. I got out of bed, my legs wobbly and numb as I crawled over to the dresser. I picked out my clothes, going into the bathroom to slip them on. After I was satisfied with my choice of outfit, I bounded down the stairs to make some breakfast.

"Morning," Charlie greeted me as he munched on the cereal he'd managed to make himself. I smiled slightly, trying to hide my tearstained eyes from him. If he saw it, he didn't say anything, probably hoping that I wouldn't return to the phase I was in when I first arrived at Forks.

"I'm going to school early," I said as I munched on a pop tart. "After school I'm going to Jake's work. I'll be back later tonight, but I wouldn't wait up."

Charlie nodded, although I was sure I would see him up later. I heard a knock on the door and walked slowly to get it, crossing my arms over my chest as I pulled the door open to give way to the most breathtaking man I'd ever met in my entire life.

Unfortunately, his acute eyes caught my red rimmed and swollen ones, and scanned quickly over the flush in my cheeks that was from anything but the embarrassment he enjoyed so much.

He didn't ask questions, just crushed me to his chest as his hands stroked my hair.

"It's okay love," he whispered over and over as he rocked us back and forth slowly. "I'll never leave you again."

I shook my head, a shaky laugh burbling up on my lips. "It's not that, I promise. I just had a few things to think about last night while you were gone. Like _her_."

He kissed my hair softly. "She's gone. I promise you this. I'll never leave you again, and I will never, _ever_ let you go another day with sad thoughts of her."

I nodded against his chest as he sighed.

"So how was your night?" I asked quietly as I pulled away. He intertwined our fingers, and all thoughts of school flew out the window. He grinned at me as he put an index finger to his lips.

"It's a surprise. But don't worry, what we're doing tonight isn't that big of a deal. It's really just the present afterword."

I moaned as I remembered my plans for tonight. He glanced at me curiously, arching one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"Jacob called yesterday," I said slowly, ignoring how his dark eyes narrowed at me, "And we were talking about getting together, to catch up."

"You're not going with that _dog_," he growled. I rolled my eyes at him. "Edward, you barely know him. Besides, he's really nice. But I think that I'm going to postpone it now. Maybe for tomorrow."

"Good," he muttered, "But if I have any say you're not going at all."

Our fight was interrupted by Charlie's heavy footsteps as he walked into the den. Edward released my hand, knowing that I wasn't ready for Charlie to know that we were together just yet, and grinned at my father.

"Hello Charlie, I would like to talk to you a moment alone, if that's alright," Edward said politely. Charlie covered his surprised expression quickly and nodded as Edward extended a hand. Charlie turned, mumbling about how he was going to be late for work as they walked away. I sat there in the foyer for a moment uncomfortably as my boyfriend talked to my father about matters that were unfamiliar to me.

I was still venting about not being able to see Jacob today, but my fight with myself was weak. I knew that I wanted to know the surprise much more desperately than I wanted to see Jacob, as horrible as that was. I decided to call Jacob and tell him I couldn't come.

I sighed, dialing his number and hoping he was awake.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered. I heard Charlie yell something, but it was too quick for me to understand. Not to mention that Edward's calming voice was a little distracting. I couldn't make out what they were saying, however.

"Jacob?"

"Yes? Is this Bella?"

I nodded, but then I realized that he couldn't see me. I chuckled lightly, tapping my foot impatiently as I tried to word my response carefully.

"Yes. Uhm, Edward and his family are planning me a surprise tonight, and they've had it planned for a while now. Can I come by tomorrow instead?"

I was expecting him to be calm, bright and excited like normal, but his voice was low and menacing.

"You're hanging out with a _bloodsucker_?" He growled, and I felt my mind freeze as I paused my pacing.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about Jacob," I mumbled as I twirled my fingers together. I was a weak liar, and I knew he could hear it in my voice. I mentally cursed myself for my inability to lie well.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean," he spat. "Hanging with _vampires_, Bella? Really, are you near _suicidal_?"

"No, and I still don't know what you're talking about!" I exclaimed angrily.

"To hell you don't!" He yelled back. I felt my face flush with anger as he talked so badly about Edward.

"I care for him Jacob! I love him, and he's been there for me at every turn since I've been here. You yelling at me is just proving how much he cares for me and you don't!"

"You're lying to me! Don't act like they're innocent, Bella. They're killers."

My voice was low and calm as I spoke now. I knew that he was a liar; I knew that Edward and his family would never hurt a human being. They were good, and just because Jacob somehow found out about them, it didn't grant him the right to tell me what to do.

"They are not _killers_, Jacob. They've been nothing but nice to me. They would never ever hurt me because it would hurt them too much. I love them and they love me, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me back."

I heard a sigh on the other line. "Bella, they've caused me so much _pain_."

My mind clouded with confusion at his words. "What? Edward would never hurt anybody! Can't you just realize that?"

"You wouldn't get it. You're just too_… infatuated_, with the whole lot of them. You look at them with star-struck eyes and do whatever they say. You know what, though? I'm tired of watching everybody in your stupid, obsessed town talk about them. I would have thought you better than to become one of the crowd, but there you go, worshipping a bunch of sick, evil vampires."

I was at a loss for words. Tears pricked at my eyes and I stared at the phone, anger bubbling in my chest.

"And I'd have thought you better than my mother," I spat, my voice shaking. "You're just like everybody else though, unwilling to listen to reason. Have to have it your way, all the time, don't you? You're ridiculous. Edward cares for me, which is exactly why I'm with him. He cares, and you don't."

"I'm trying to _protect_ you!" He yelled furiously. "You're going to ruin your life!"

"I'm more than mature enough to choose what I do with my life. If you really cared about me at all you wouldn't attack me for no reason!"

"Bella, you need to _hear _me," he pleaded desperately, "You need to realize that they're no good for you!"

"Goodbye, Jacob."

I hung up the phone quickly, too angered at Jacob to even care that I was being rude. I knew that Edward would never do anything to hurt me; that he was always there for me. Suddenly my thoughts the night before seemed so silly, and I vented as I waited for Edward and Charlie to be finished talking. When they rounded the corner, Charlie's eyes were disapproving, but they also held a bit of excitement as he stood next to me to grab his jacket. I peeked at Edward, knowing that he'd have heard my entire fight with Jacob. I knew from his Charlie's expression that the conversation had gone well, but his eyes held a menacing black so full of hatred I cringed. His expression was wary as he glanced at me for a split second, before he carefully composed it to turn to Charlie again.

"Chief Swan?" Edward asked politely as he handed me my coat, although I could see through his façade. He was suffering, kicking himself about something. "Since I'm already here, do you think it would be alright if I just drive Bella to school?"

"Sure," Charlie said, obviously not seeing through Edward's mask, "Just be good today, okay? And please, call me Charlie."

Edward nodded seriously and led me out the door. I stumbled as his hand pushed me forward, and slid ungracefully into the car.

"Talk to me," I mumbled as he sped down the street. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter in his grasp. I was scared that he was going to break the wheel, and my brain panicked when it realized that you couldn't drive without one.

"Edward, please," I said quietly. He sighed and loosened his grip, releasing one hand from the wheel.

"He's right. I am a killer."

I hated to see Edward torturing himself like this. It wasn't right for somebody so inhumanly perfect to be suffering so much. I reached over and touched the back of his hand tentatively with mine, brushing my fingers with his. When he didn't object, I pulled his hand gently to intertwine our fingers. He turned his gaze to meet mine, his tortured eyes deep with ancient sadness.

"Listen to me, Edward. You are… so amazing. Ignore Jacob, I don't care what he says. He doesn't matter to me Edward. I love you so much, and you can't torture yourself over this."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand. I wanted him to keep his eyes open, at least, but I knew that he wasn't going to crash. I trusted him that much.

"Bella, you need to understand this. I. Am. No. Good. Jacob was right, and as much as I want to kill him for upsetting you," he paused to gauge my reaction. He seemed surprised to see that I wasn't upset, "I can't argue with his logic."

"What logic?" I yelled, throwing my head back against the headrest. "There is no logic! He's being absurd!"

Edward sighed again and looked out the window. "He has his reasons, and his reasons are valid. We cause his kind such agony."

I was confused by his wording, but I didn't care; I could figure it out later. "It doesn't matter! He caused _me _agony, but that doesn't make him completely bad!" I realized now that what I was saying was true, that even though he was wrong, he was simply doing what he thought was right. That didn't make me any less angry at him, however.

"No, because what he's saying makes sense. I'm just waiting for you to realize how bad I really am for you, and to run and scream for the woods. I wouldn't blame you, because you're too special to be cursed to love a man like me, but I feel like I need you to see that."

I kissed his palm lightly, and I felt the muscles relax under my touch.

"I am never going to get tired of you. Now, can you please just relax and realize that I love you?"

He smiled his crooked grin, and I felt my heart flutter as his eyes sparkled warmly. He still had the tortured expression in his eyes, but there was love shining in them too. "I just can't wait until tonight, for your surprise."

I smiled at his words, my heart thumping in my chest as I grinned at him.

"I can't wait either."

School passed slowly. My morning classes were slow and uneventful, as Edward and I weren't officially an item together in public. He'd see me in the hall and wink, or smile, but we kept a safe distance apart. I longed for his touch, and halfway down the hall to one of my classes Alice skipped joyfully next to me. Rosalie was gliding gracefully beside her, her beautiful hair cascading down her back as many boys stared after her.

"Bella! I've formulated a plan!"

I laughed as I listened to her talk about her plan to ensure that Edward and I get together in this school without seeming too obvious. Rosalie was laughing at her sister as we walked, and I was laughing at some of the unusual ideas that Alice had managed to come up with.

"Alice, I'm not doing that!" I laughed as I paused by the door to my next class. Alice rolled her eyes at me and patted my shoulder.

"It's either he asks you out in front of the whole school and you accept with a mushy yes, or it's never going to happen."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, saying I would as I stepped into the next class. Alice and Rosalie yelled excitedly as they walked away with their heads bent together. It was the most excited I'd ever seen Rosalie. I had a feeling there was something they weren't telling me though, because they started to laugh as they rounded the corner.

I was blushing as I thought of what Alice must have seen, but sat in my seat as I waited for the bell to ring. Mike Newton had other plans, however, as he and Jessica strolled over to my seat.

"Hi Bella!" Jessica exclaimed loudly; I worried my ears were going to pop.

"Hey Jessica, Mike," I greeted them politely as I flipped open my book and squinted at the board.

"So we were wondering if you had plans for this weekend," Mike said casually, although I saw the hope in his eyes. "It's the middle of winter, yes, but we were thinking of having a get-together on Friday. Maybe go to the La Push beach and have a bonfire. You want to?"

I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, and although I wanted nothing to do with going, I didn't see another choice than to put it off as long as possible. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Charlie."

They nodded and smiled at me, Jessica bending down to whisper in my ear.

"You can ask Edward if he wants to come too, I'd like to talk to him some, and you guys are friends and all…"

I bit back a retort and forced myself to smile at her. "Of course."

She nodded and all but skipped away, brimming with eagerness. I rolled my eyes and ducked my head, preparing for class.

After it was over, I walked out to find Edward waiting for me. Next to him was Angela, looking happy as she smiled and talked with him. She laughed and he chuckled, his eyes turning to meet mine. A breathtaking smile overtook his face, and Angela didn't miss it as she grinned at me and waved.

"Hi Bella!" She yelled, running over to knock into my side, "If you're any more obvious, everybody's going to find out."

I laughed and nodded, blushing furiously. I couldn't make myself tear my gaze away from him though, so I opted to just motion him to my side. He obliged gratefully and walked into step beside us as we headed for lunch.

"What's up Angela?" I asked as we tried to push our way through the crowded hallways. Edward smiled and stepped in front of us, and suddenly the pathway was cleared as the hormone charged females stepped aside to watch him walk by in awe. I felt like a little duckling following her mother as we trailed after him, and I wondered what the girls in the hall were thinking to put such a tortured expression on his face.

"Nothing," she said, shifting her books from one arm to another. "I just wanted to check up on you. How are you doing?"

"I'm better, now," I said smiling. She caught the direction of my thoughts and gave me a one-armed hug gently. "Good, that's really good. I'm happy for you Bella."

I grinned. I always knew that Angela was nice, and this was one of the reasons I liked her the best. She was perceptive, and sometimes she knew too much for my liking, but she was a person I could relate the most to.

"Thank you. So tell me, how has your romance life been going?"

She blushed slightly –I was beginning to think that I was the only one that did that!- and ducked her head.

"Ben is… amazing," she said quietly as she grinned. My smile grew wider as I elbowed her playfully in the ribs. "He's really nice. And he's a perfect gentleman."

"I'm glad, I really am. That's really great." We entered the lunchroom, grabbing a tray. Edward smiled at me as he gave me mine, his fingers squeezing mine gently as he pulled away, making my heart speed erratically in my chest. Angela saw it, and this time it was her turn to elbow me in the ribs.

"Yea yea, do you want to sit with us at lunch?" I asked her as she picked up an apple from the basket. She looked at it curiously before tossing it back. It landed on the floor, and she bent down quickly to throw it on the counter, causing both of us to start laughing.

"Sorry, I already promised Ben…"

I nodded in understanding as I turned to walk towards my usually lunch seat. Edward nudged me though, and I turned to find him leading me to his family instead. He smiled at me as he sat his tray down, and I threw a helpless glance at Jessica.

"Yo Bella!" Emmett yelled in his booming voice as he laughed at me. I blushed and tripped over my feet, Edward automatically reaching out to steady me.

I sat down carefully, trying not to knock my tray off of the table as I took my seat in between Emmett and Edward. Edward narrowed his eyes at Emmett, but I ignored them as I sat.

"So what, am I the only one eating?" I asked, staring at their trays. Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Well, I'm a little thirsty actually…"

I think I might have yelped, because the entire table burst out laughing. Edward was trying his hardest, however, to keep a straight face. I smacked him lightly on the arm and looked up to see the entire cafeteria glancing at us with awed expressions. Suddenly the room erupted in whispers, something I thought only happened in movies.

"They're talking about you, love," Edward murmured with a smile on his lips as I blushed. "Don't worry, most of the females are just jealous. And the males, well, their thoughts are aimed towards jealousy too. But don't worry, they're not gay, they're jealous of me."

I glanced up through my fingers and grinned at him. Alice and Jasper were laughing hysterically, leaning on each other as they gasped for breath.

"There's a lot to be jealous of there," I noted casually as I took a sip of my lemonade. Edward nodded in agreement, but before I could laugh he spoke.

"Yes, you're very beautiful."

"So are you."

"I love you," he retorted.

"I love you more," I said. We were interrupted by the entire table making gagging noises, and I rolled my eyes at them. "Really mature, you guys."

Jasper grinned sheepishly at me, "It's not my fault. Their emotions just get to me…"

"I forgive you, then. But not your wife."

The bell rang then, and we stood to gather our things and head for our next class.

Biology was torturous. Being that near to Edward for such a long period of time and not touch him was horrible. I was so used to the wall we'd broken down over the past week. It was horrible to have to pretend like it still existed, although I suspect that Edward was having a much more difficult time with it than I was. His scent rolled off of him in waves, making my mouth water at the mere thought of it. Occasionally, he would brush his arm against mine, and when we had to do an experiment he would slip his hand over mine for a moment before grabbing the next slide. But everything that I was experiencing, every torturous touch, every tempting scent, was ten times as worse for him.

After biology was over I was faced with gym, which was almost as bad as biology. I somehow managed to trip over the football, which only happened after somebody who'd never been paired with me before tossed me the ball. I threw it back futilely, efficiently knocking him in the face and earning a lot of amused and confused expressions.

I was thankful when the bell rang, and I changed quickly after my shower. I ran out, expecting to find Edward waiting for me, only to be met with the face of Alice, grinning widely.

"We're going to get you ready!" She yelled excitedly as she grabbed my hand and bounded out the door. I had to run to keep up, and a lot of students cleared the way, probably expecting me to fall. She all but shoved me into her car, skipping to the other side to slide in the driver's seat.

"Where's the surprise?" I asked curiously, remembering my fight with Jacob this morning. I felt anger rise up in my chest, but I shoved it down; I wasn't going to let him ruin my evening.

"Well we're starting it at my house. I can't tell you where it ends though. That would spoil the whole point of the surprise!"

"Oh," I replied dumbly as we pulled out of the parking lot. Before I knew it we were in my house, Alice leading my upstairs to my room. I groaned as I realized that she had brought three bags. She emptied one's contents –eye shadow, lip gloss and an assortment of other products- onto the counter carefully. She ran her fingers over them like they were prized possessions, emptying the second bag –a straightener and a curling iron, along with sprays that must have cost a fortune- onto my dresser. I knew the third held some sort of outfit, and I groaned at the possibilities.

"Do I have to wear a dress?" I mumbled as she got to work. She nodded furiously, her expression in the mirror was pretty close to disbelief.

"Of course!" She said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. I let her work as she told me about the latest fashion magazine and the gossip inside. She explained how she took a kissing quiz, and how it told her she wasn't a good kisser.

"I swear Bella, that magazine lies. I've had eons of practice. They don't know anything!"

I nodded seriously, trying not to laugh. "Of course, of course."

She continued to mumble about how Jasper told her she was an amazing kisser for another ten minutes. After I had completely convinced her that nobody kissed better than her, and after she objected that Jasper might, and after I rethought my statement and said that nobody kissed better than Edward, but I was sure she was still second, and we both got so confused we burst out laughing, she was finished with my hair.

"No objections to your dress!" She yelled as I stepped into the bathroom. I braced myself as I unzipped it, choosing to not look at it until I had it on.

"Wow, it's beautiful Alice!" I yelled, unable to help myself. She clapped on the other side of the door, opening it to let me out.

It was red and green, which reminded me that Christmas was just around the corner. I gasped as I realized that I had nothing planned yet for Edward, but Alice assured me quickly that I'd find the perfect gift. It was strapless, but it came down to the knees, which made me feel better. I checked my legs, which were smooth under my touch. I smiled at my reflection, my long brown hair falling over my shoulders in waves. Alice peeked into the mirror, and I looked to see she was wearing a green dress.

"Get out of the mirror Alice!" I yelled laughing, "I was just beginning to think I stood a chance."

Alice laughed and scooched her butt into mine, bumping me out of the way. "It's only because I'm a vampire. I have a feeling I was really plain."

"Well I'm plain. Maybe I'll be beautiful too, if I turn."

Alice bit her lip, and I had a feeling she was hiding something from me. I narrowed my eyes at her skeptically, placing one hand on my hip.

"What is it?"

Alice shook her head, glancing out the window. "I can't tell you now. It's changing so rapidly, it's not even worth it, because tomorrow it'll be different."

I groaned, but her happy demeanor returned as she led me out the door.

"This is going to be so fun!"

I tried to force a smile on my face as she ushered me into the car. I was trying to figure out what to buy him for Christmas, what Edward would like. What do you buy somebody who has so much money he can buy whatever he wants and not even flinch?

Before I realized what was happening, we were pulling up their driveway. I was excited, not only for my surprise, but because I would get to be with Edward again. My heart hammered at the idea of both, and I was smiling as the car pulled to a halt.

"Come here!" Alice yelled, skipping gracefully in front of the car to pull me out of the car. She wrapped her cool hands over my eyes, leading me forward as we marched towards her house, laughing.

"Okay, ready?"

I nodded, wondering what to expect. She pulled her hands away from my face, and I opened them to the scene in front of me.

I gasped.

* * *

a:n/ sorry to stop right there, but if i continued this might have been at least 20 pages long, so i split it evenly down the middle, i think. tell me what you think**. **

please read angel for airwaves story, beautiful disaster. its fantastically amazing! (wayy better than this)

**NOTICE: _im starting something new!! if you review after you read, i will send you a sneak peak of the next chapter, so if you want a peek, you know what to do!_**

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[**SNEAK PEAK]**

"Is the theme tinsel town or something?"

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	18. Christmas Twists

A big thanks to my amazing beta **Angels for Airwaves**, you're the best! (:

I'm going to dedicate this chapter to my anonymous reviewer **Tokiie**, because I couldnt send you the sneak peak ):

**Disclaimer:** All charachters belong to Stephenie Meyer

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_"This is going to be so fun!"_

_I tried to force a smile on my face as she ushered me into the car. I was trying to figure out what to buy him for Christmas, what Edward would like. What do you buy somebody who has so much money he can buy whatever he wants and not even flinch?_

_Before I realized what was happening, we were pulling up their driveway. I was excited, not only for my surprise, but because I would get to be with Edward again. My heart hammered at the idea of both, and I was smiling as the car pulled to a halt._

_"Come here!" Alice yelled, skipping gracefully in front of the car to pull me out of the car. She wrapped her cool hands over my eyes, leading me forward as we marched towards her house, laughing._

_"Okay, ready?"_

_I nodded, wondering what to expect. She pulled her hands away from my face, and I opened them to the scene in front of me._

_I gasped._

**My First Christmas**

I looked around at the beautiful scene in front of me. Their house had been transformed. The usual white walls were all but vanished. Ornate frames hung the wall with festive holiday pictures of Santa Claus and poetic phrases about the Christmas season. I smiled as I walked forward, looking at the silver garland that wound its way up the staircase. On the piano sat decorative red and green candles, all lit and shining brightly in low lighting the room provided. More silver garland wound its way up the bars in the kitchen, which reminded me of the perfect scenes from the movies. The whole room was like a fairytale, a perfect dream come true.

I stepped up to the fireplace and fought back tears in my eyes. Over the mantle hung eight stockings, all silver in color and sparkling beautiful with glitter. Inside contained presents of many sorts, but most were wrapped, so I couldn't decide what was in them. What made me cry, however, was the name written on the last stocking. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward and _Bella_. Bella.

I reached out with shaking fingers to brush over the elegant script. Bella. I blinked, trying to clear the haze from my eyes.

Esme placed a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to launch myself in her arms.

"Thank you," I whispered, tears falling over my eyes and cascading down my cheeks. I squeezed her as tight as I could, trying to show her how grateful I was. She rubbed small circles on my back as I gathered myself together, and when I pulled back to look at her, I was certain if vampires could cry she would be sobbing with me right now.

"It's been…so long, since I've celebrated Christmas," I confessed, a sob building on my lips. "The Christmas before my mother was pregnant, she and Scott went partying. They thought I didn't want it; that I was too old for it. Last Christmas, she celebrated, and I woke up so _excited_. I went downstairs and I was crying I was so happy. I decided I would look at a present. Just one, I told myself, and then I'd put it back. But… none were for me. They were all to the baby. Scott bought me some, but he had to hide them until my mom left. When he gave them to me, six silver wrapped presents, well… I never thought I'd be this happy again, is all."

Esme looked at me with such sadness I felt my tears build up again as she pulled me close for another hug.

"Dearest Bella," she breathed. I pulled away, wiping my tears away with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"Is the theme tinsel town or something?" I said lightly, smiling so she knew I was kidding. She opened her mouth to speak, but smiled warmly as she turned without another word and exited the room. I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before a pair of cool arms wrapped around my waist.

He turned me around to face him, a crooked grin lighting up his beautiful features.

"I thought you'd like it. I told Alice not to go over the top, but I suppose Alice will be Alice." He chuckled lightly at his favorite sister. I heard a 'Hey!' come from the other room, followed by a laugh, and I smiled.

"You made Christmas for me," I said quietly, laying my head against his chest. I glanced around at the decorations again, wondering where the tree was. As if he read my mind, he took my hand and led me around the corner. The tree was large and white, and it glistened and shone so much it resembled the Cullens almost perfectly. I moaned when I saw how many gifts were for me, but he just smiled and grabbed my hands, leading me out the door. He paused however, a comical smile on his face. I looked at him curiously before he pointed upward.

"It looks like we're under the mistletoe, love."

My heart hammered in my chest as he lifted my chin to gaze into his warm eyes. He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling my chest against his as his cool breath blew into my face. My eyes fluttered closed as his lips brushed, so softly, against my own. He pressed his lips to mine once more, more urgently this time as I allowed myself to wrap my arms around his neck. His mouth was so soft, even though it was built of marble, and his grip on me tightened as I gasped for breath.

He pulled away, a surprisingly impish grin on his face as he leaned his forehead against mine. He reached on hand up to brush his fingers across my cheek, causing goosebumps to rise on my arm at his touch.

"Well," I managed after I got my breathing under control, "That was… thank you."

He didn't let me say any more, because suddenly his lips were on mine again. This time, however, it was sweeter, slower. His lips moved gently with mine as I completely lost any sense of mind, and my hands became weak on his chest as he held me to him.

"I've been waiting…so long, for that," he said in a low voice. "I think I liked that better than our first kiss, a month ago." I could see that he was working for breath he didn't need, and he smiled so lovingly at me that my heart sped all over again. He smiled, kissing my forehead gently as he laced his hand with mine and led me to the kitchen.

Alice was bouncing in her seat, and when she finally saw me she squealed.

"Merry Christmas!" She yelled, crushing her little body to mine as she wrapped me in a hug. I laughed, glancing around at the rest of the Cullen family, and I blushed as I saw Emmett's grin and realized that they'd heard everything that had just happened with Edward and I.

"Alice, Christmas isn't for another month almost!" I said, laughing as she shrugged her tiny shoulders and skipped over to Jasper, tugging on his arm.

"Come on, there's mistletoe in the other room!"

Jasper smiled and let Alice lead him away, and I couldn't get away from Emmett's expression as he grinned at me.

I buried my face in my hands to hide the blush that was pooling my cheeks. "So tell me Bella, on a scale of one to ten…"

"That's enough," Esme chided gently, but by the way Emmett looked at me, I knew it wasn't over.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly. Alice did all my homework in mere seconds, telling me that she knew I was going to get an A anyways, and Edward didn't even try to stop her. He was too happy, keeping his arm around me at all times and stealing kisses whenever he could, not that I was objecting. I told them not to worry about a big dinner, but Esme had already cooked a small ham for me, so I ate potatoes and corn and ham. It was the best meal I had ever eaten, and I told her so several times.

"We don't usually celebrate Christmas," Edward whispered to my ear as I ate. "Holidays lose some of the… magic, after years and years of the same thing. But you brought it back. You brought back the magic."

"No," I said slowly, turning to him. "You did. My life, in these past few years, has been nothing. My world has been miserable, and I've had nothing to exist for. Then you came along, and you lit up my life and you brought back happiness, Edward. You made me happy again."

I couldn't say more, though, because his lips were on mine, silencing me.

-

"Present time!"

My heart sped up in fear as Alice ripped me from Edward's embrace and marched the Cullen family to the room with the tree in it.

"I don't have anything for you guys!" I wailed, running a hand through my hair as I bit my lip. "I totally forgot that Christmas was two weeks away!"

"Eh, don't worry about it Bella," Emmett said as he sat with Rosalie perched in his lap. "We weren't expecting anything. Your present to me is your reactions."

I rolled my eyes at him, although I couldn't stop the smile that filled my face as he laughed loudly. Carlisle and Esme walked in the room, each carrying a small envelope. Alice was practically bouncing in her seat with excitement, and Carlisle placed it on the tree gently.

"What is that?" I asked quizzically as he glanced at me.

"I can't tell you," he said, laughing. Esme grabbed a present and handed it to him gently. He kissed her cheek softly before handing it to Alice.

"I already know what's inside!" She yelled excitedly as Carlisle chuckled.

"Of course you do, it was too hard to hide it from you."

Alice just smiled and ripped apart the paper, revealing a box with a designer label. She squealed as if she really had no idea what lay inside the box and ripped off the lid, lifting up an elegant black dress. Her eyes glazed over and she clapped her hands in excitement, jumping up to hug her parents.

Emmett and Rosalie got a collection of car magazines, which they fawned over like it was their child, but they were more excited at the weekend getaway at the Ritz-Carlton New York. They shared an excited glance, which caused the entire family to chuckle lightly at their eagerness as they asked when they were going.

"Carlisle and Alice decided on next weekend, because they figured you'd want to go as quickly as possible," Esme said in her loving voice as her eyes sparkled at her adoptive children.

"It's supposed to be sunny on Saturday, but I don't think you'll be outside anyways," Alice said casually, causing Edward to wrinkle his nose at their thoughts and me to blush crimson.

"To Esme, love us," Alice read gleefully as she skipped over to place the box in Esme's waiting hands. She smiled and kissed her mother's cheeks before sitting next to Jasper, leaning over his body to get a closer view of her reaction to the gift.

"Oh!" Esme gasped as she pulled apart the wrapping. She brushed her fingers over the box of paintbrushes, delicately pulling the box away to reveal the brushes. "I wanted to start painting, especially after the Denali coven came to visit. Thank you all so much!"

"Well, you know…" Carlisle said softly, "It was my idea."

I laughed at how childish this man looked now as he gratefully accepted Esme's thank you kiss. Alice and Jasper got a weekend getaway also, but their stay was in Chicago so that they could at least go out during the daytime. Carlisle ended up with a bunch of medical journals, but they had the weekend to themselves while the four children were away. When I asked Edward what he was going to do, he rolled his eyes and told me he was a big boy and could take care of himself.

"I'm going to give you guys a gift sometime," I promised them as they shook their heads.

"Nonsense Bella," Jasper said, probably feeling my guilt. "We like doing this for you, and there's no reason that you should have to give us something."

"You have given us something," Edward murmured into my ear, causing me to shiver. "You gave us hope."

I realized then that there was still the envelope on the tree, and I couldn't help my wandering eyes to land on it curiously. My stocking was filled with beautiful but inexpensive gifts, much to my enjoyment. Lotions and make up filled the majority of the stocking, and Emmett and Jasper had thrown in tiny toy soldiers, much to their amusement. But I knew that whatever was in there was important, because the entire family was eagerly glancing at it the entire afternoon.

"What did you get Edward?" I asked curiously as he absently played with my hair. He bent down to kiss my lips softly, an eager smile on his face. I caught a small nod from Alice, and Edward jumped up to grab the slip of paper off of the tree.

"This is for us. It's for you and me only. Now, love, please don't get upset, we wanted to do this for you. We've already talked to Charlie, and he's more than excited. We all want this for you," he said as he slipped the envelope into my hand. I looked up to see the entire family watching me with excitement glistening in their eyes.

Edward sat on the ground with his legs extended out. He sat me down with him so that I was sitting against his chest, his face nuzzled against my neck as I opened the envelope curiously.

"Paper?"

I could almost see Edward rolling his eyes as he pressed his lips softly to my neck. He wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me even closer as he buried his face in my hair.

"Read it, love."

I did as he said, and I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face as tears swam in my eyes.

"We're going to see Annabel?" I said, my voice quiet with awe as I read the tickets.

_Freeport Maine _

_Departure: December 20__th__, 2008 5:35 a.m. PT_

_Return Date: December 27, 2008 11:25 p.m. PT_

_Round Trip. Non Returnable. _

"We'll leave from here at four, to make it to the airport," he murmured, his lips against my ear as I stared at the tickets. "I know it's early, but I didn't think you'd mind. We'll get on the plane, and because of the time zones, by the time we arrive in Maine it will only be nine, even though it would be noon here."

I stared at the tickets, tears pooling over and splashing onto the tickets.

"Love? It's okay, we don't have to go," Edward said, turning me to face him. His expression was horrified, as though he was worried he'd actually upset me. I didn't say anything, just wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck.

"This is so beautiful," I whispered as I planted kisses up his neck. "Thank you thank you thank you so much. I love you Edward."

"You are my life," he answered simply.

I planted a kiss on his mouth, trying to portray just how happy I was. He kissed me back softly as I leaned into him, knotting my hands in his hair as I tried to crush myself to him. I felt him start to slow, so I decided to get as much as I could out of the last few seconds.

"Edward," I whispered as he started to push me away, "I'll be good. I promise. Just hold me, please?"

He smiled brilliantly at me, and I blushed when I realized that the way that I was curled over Edward wasn't proper for the people in the room with us. When I looked up, however, I saw that they had cleared the room. I knew that they were just giving us some privacy for my gift, although Alice may have seen my reaction and ushered the family out before I completely humiliated myself.

He wrapped his arms around me, rocking us back and forth as he hummed the same tune.

"What is that?" I asked him curiously. I'd heard him hum it before, but I had no idea where it came from.

"It's your lullaby. You inspired it. Would you like to hear it played?"

I nodded curiously as he took my hand and led me through another room. We passed Carlisle and Esme, who were watching us with loving eyes as his hand tugged me forward into a room with a grand piano in the middle. He sat me on the bench next to him and threw me a helpless glance before his fingers were flowing gracefully over the keys.

It reminded me of when we first met. That first day at the ice cream store, when he'd told me not to listen to him. The days after, when he was gone and I was confused about my feelings. The keys traveled to a softer pace as I remembered the hospital, him lying with me in the bed as he told me all of their kind. The keys grew warm as I looked back fondly on the day we said I love you to each other. As the beautiful melody grew to a close, I reached a hand up to brush the tears from my eyes. The music displayed our relationship perfectly, and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"That was so beautiful," I said as he kissed my forehead. "I didn't know you played the piano. Why hadn't you ever told me?" I asked, but he just shrugged and got up quickly, leaving me alone for a moment in the quiet room. He was back in a moment with a small box in his hands.

"Don't worry, it's the last one I promise. And this isn't expensive. It's a hand-me-down that once belonged to my mother," he explained as he set the box in my hands. "Although, I did have it altered a little."

I opened it and smiled at him. A simple silver bracelet lay before my eyes, a silver heart dangling off of the chain. I flipped it over and read the engraved words:

_I'll love you always & forever, Edward._

"Do you like it?" He asked, slipping it on my wrist gently.

"I love it Edward. I love _you_, thank you," I said quietly as he kissed me softly.

"I love you. Always and forever."

-

"Are you leaving?" Esme asked gently as I slipped on Edward's jacket. I nodded as she hugged me gently, pulling away to smile. "Did you have a nice time?"

"How could I not?" I wondered aloud. And it was true. After Edward and I got back from the piano room, they had decided to play some board games, something Jasper told me they were all excited about. He informed me that they hadn't played board games in a long while, and they were all nervous about how it was going to go.

I never saw a group of boys get more aggressive over a game of monopoly in my life. Rosalie and I gave up after I attempted to buy the Boardwalk, and Emmett had squished my iron playing piece to dust. We sat by the fire and talked about nothing while we waited for the game to wrap up, a task that took nearly three hours. Alice pouted when she realized she had a vision of her losing, causing her to storm out of the house for ten minutes while Rosalie and I laughed.

She came back in and threatened to never give me another makeover again if I didn't stop laughing. I personally didn't mind if I never saw another makeover in my existence, but because Alice was my best friend I made myself calm down enough to make her feel better.

Now Edward was preparing to take me home, slipping the hat over my head again.

"So on a scale of one to ten?" Emmett and Jasper asked in unison as Edward glared at them. I grinned and entwined Edward's fingers with mine.

"One." I said simply, causing Edward, Emmett and Jasper to do a double take. Emmett and Jasper were shocked, their mouths hanging slack, and Edward looked insulted. I smiled as I continued.

"Billion."

Edward grinned, pressing his lips to mine as my heart sped up once more in my chest. Suddenly the mood was ruined when Alice ran into the room, her hands in the air as if she was planning on stopping traffic. I laughed, but Edward frowned, his eyes narrowed as he read her thoughts. A growl erupted from his chest as he stared at her, and she nodded.

"What is it?" I asked, confused. Alice looked at me helplessly before she explained hastily.

"Tanya's coming in a few weeks. And she's been…thinking, a lot."

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, crushing me to his side.

"We have to _do _something!" He yelled in my ear, anger and desperation in his voice as he glanced at Carlisle. He started to speak quickly, to low and fast for me to hear, as Carlisle's eyes widened with shock.

"Surely she can't be thinking that!" He exclaimed, looking at Alice for confirmation. She nodded as she explained what she saw in words unheard to me. Esme stared at me, her face one of horror as she ran up to brush a hand down my face.

"We won't let her," she said confidently, and I felt my heart swell as I realized how much this woman loved me. I wanted to know what they were talking about though, so desperately it hurt.

"What is it?" I whispered to Edward as he stayed frozen beside me. His eyes were distant, gone as he turned his gaze to mine.

"Tanya…is…not happy, with you. She doesn't _approve_," he spat, "Because she is so sure that you're going to harm not only her, but her entire coven. She went to the Volturi. They're like the police of our kind, they keep the peace and ensure that everybody follows the rules. The only rule we have is to not let humans know of our existence.

"She's not happy that you're with me. She's not happy that I'm happy with you. She doesn't know when they're coming, and she's decided to take matters into her own hands."

"What do you mean?" I asked breathlessly as I tried to retain all of the information.

Edward turned me to him, and I saw the torture in his gaze as his eyes locked with mine.

"Tanya is coming to try to kill you."

* * *

**A:N/** yea, i know. i'm horrible. i'd ramble but it will ruin the dramatic cliffhanger :D

Remember if you review you'll get an extended sneak peek! however if you review anonymously, you must leave your email as your name so i can send you the peek!

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

And as I stared at the beautiful child in my arms, I began to shake with joy.

"So beautiful," I whispered as she smiled at me, reaching a hand up to pat my face gently.

And I grinned as Edward's arms wrapped around me, all worry for the upcoming weeks fading away as he pressed his mouth to my cheek, his lips hard with tension and anxiety as he stared at the beautiful child in my arms. I had no idea the hardships I was going to face in the next two weeks. The hardships that were already threatening to tear us apart.

* * *


	19. Annabel

Big thanks to my awesome beta, **Angels for Airwaves**, for taking the time out of her _difficult _studying to read my chapter. That must've sucked, having to give up precious studying time like that, I'm so glad that you could do that for me :D

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **Suezanne**, for being a loyal reviewer since the very beginning. You're amazing!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own twilight, everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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"Come on!" I said impatiently, tapping my foot as I glanced at the clock. It was December 20th, and two in the morning. I'd been waiting for this day for two weeks, and it took me a very long time to convince Edward to even allow us to go under the circumstances. I knew I was in mortal danger, I knew that at any moment my life could end, but I didn't want to miss out on being a big sister either.

Alice squealed, running up to my side. Edward glanced at her, annoyed, but she just looked me in the eyes seriously.

"I will do it for you, Bella," she said quickly before skipping off. I looked at Edward, but he seemed just as confused as I was.

"Edward, here, don't forget this," Esme said, coming up to the car and putting an extra bag of clothes in. I laughed at how worried she was, afraid that we were going to run out of clothes in the one week stay they'd given me for Christmas.

"I'm gonna miss you around here Bella," Emmett said somberly, but then cracked, "There's going to be absolutely nobody to watch stumble around!"

After we'd said goodbye to the family, Edward and I got in the car. It didn't take me very long, with the soft music and the very early hour of the morning, to fall asleep quickly.

I was a little more than shocked to realize that when I woke, I was being carried onto a large plane. Edward handed the tickets to the beautiful lady, who smiled at him coyly, ignoring the fact I was in his arms.

"Coach seats? Impressive," she noted, and I knew that she'd be telling her friends on the plane all about him. I groaned internally, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Yes, well, my father offered my girlfriend and me a one week trip for Christmas," Edward explained, stressing the word girlfriend. I grinned and buried my head into his chest.

"You're barely awake," he noted casually, smiling as he lifted one hand to brush his hands down my face. "I love you, but you should sleep."

"Right this way," the woman said, and I could tell there was a smile on her face as she turned and led us quickly to the front of the plane. We stepped into a large spacious area with leather seats and small television screens flashing a classic movie.

"Thank you," Edward said to her politely. She grinned brightly, blushing as she turned and stumbled away. Edward frowned, but looked down at me with a small grin. "Do you want window seat or aisle?"

I thought about it for a moment. I didn't want to have to go to the bathroom and not be able to get out, but then I laughed when I realized that Edward wouldn't need to sleep, thus eliminating that problem.

"Window, please," I said quickly, excitement bubbling in my chest. I leaned over, whispering to him, butterflies in the pit of my stomach as worry mixed with eagerness. My eyes struggled to stay open as I slurred my words. "I've never actually been on a plane, Edward. What if we crash and fall and die?"

Edward rolled his eyes as I sank into the seat comfortably, sighing as I realized I was nowhere near done with resting.

"Do you really think I would let anything happen to you?" Edward asked, feigning mock insult while I closed my eyes. Sleep was returning with a vengeance.

"No, not really," I mumbled, hearing his low chuckle as he slipped his arm over my shoulder.

"Sleep, Bella," Edward murmured as the plane pulled out.

"No, I want to see us take off," I said forcefully. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it as worry filled me. We were pulling onto the runway too slowly, I could feel the panic start to swell as we turned and began to pick up speed. "Are we supposed to be going this fast?"

Edward laughed, giving my hand a gently squeeze as I watched the scenery fly by.

"Of course, love. How else would we get in the air?"

Some people around us heard my panic and Edward's obvious answer and chuckled quietly.

"Poor girl," I heard the women behind me say with pity. I heard the woman next to her, too.

"Yes, but at least she has that gorgeous boy to hold her hand."

I turned around and frowned at them. The woman who had spoken with pity was at least forty, and the woman who had commented on my boyfriend looked older than the other. She had grey hair and wrinkles, large glasses and an 'I love my grandchild' sweatshirt on. She had to be at least fifty!

They blushed when they realized that I'd heard them, the younger apologizing for her friend.

"You're too gorgeous," I muttered to Edward as he laughed.

"And you, beautiful, are going to miss the take-off if you don't turn to the window."

I turned just as the tires lifted off the ground. Within seconds we were hundreds of feet off the ground, and I giggled like a child as the cars grew smaller and smaller, looking like little toys in my hand.

"Having fun?" Edward asked, his head next to mine as we stared out the tiny picture window. I nodded, tapping the glass with my finger. It made a popping sound, something that made me uneasy, and I leaned back into the seat as Edward played with my hair.

"You need to sleep," he said. I shook my head, but my eyelids were groaning with the effort of staying open as I fought futilely against them.

Edward just took my hand in his cold one and began to hum my lullaby. I was unable to fight when he hummed my song, so I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slip into a soft, peaceful sleep.

"_Now arriving in Freeport Maine. The time is nine A.M., and on behalf of everybody on board, we thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines. Please fly with us again soon." _

My eyes flew open with shock.

"I slept the entire time?" I asked as I stumbled over Edward to get into the aisle. I was instantly alerted that I needed to go to the bathroom, and I quickly glanced at Edward. He was laughing softly, watching me with amused eyes as I struggled to push the haze of sleep from my mind. "Be right back!"

He nodded, a smile playing on his lips as I ran to the front of the aisle. I felt bad for sleeping through a coach plane ride, especially my first real flight, but I knew that sleeping now would be better.

_I was going to see my sister soon_.

I smiled at the idea as I stepped into the line. After ten minutes, I slipped into the tiny bathroom stall and looked in the mirror. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, letting my hair down from its ponytail. When I was done, I stepped out of the bathroom and went to look for Edward.

I found him standing near the exit, the same stewardess glancing at him with her friends.

"Okay I'm back," I said as he led me out of the plane.

"Welcome to Maine!" He sang proudly as we stepped off and into a narrow hallway. People crowded together as we stepped into a busy airport.

"Are you very hungry?" He asked, glancing around at the food. I nodded and we stopped at a fast food place as he ordered me a meal. He wrinkled his nose as he led me to a small table in the middle of the eating area.

"How can you stand to eat this?" He wondered aloud as he watched me dip my chicken nugget into ketchup.

"Well, it's not as good as an irritable grizzly, but it's something to live off of," I replied, sticking my tongue out at him.

"It's vile, disgusting and smells like rotted animal," he said, staring at it. I made a show of popping it into my mouth, making sure that I grinned as I swallowed loudly.

After we were finished, and Edward still confused as to how I could manage to eat something fried in grease. He led me to a car, under a constant cloud cover, and held my hand as we made the drive to the unfamiliar house. I had no idea where we were going, but I suppose that I shouldn't have underestimated Edward. Within an hour we were pulling off of the highway and onto a small, suburban side street. My heart raced as we turned down a final street.

"Are you nervous?" Edward asked, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I nodded slightly, staring at the small houses that lined the street. His face was set into a grim line, the corners of his lips turned down into a frown.

"You're going to do fine," Edward reassured me, "I can read his mind right now. He's expecting us, and he's excited and nervous. He's very happy to finally be seeing you again after so long."

His words reassured me, but when I turned to him I realized that he was frowning.

"I love you," I said quietly as we pulled into the driveway.

"I love you too, and I'm going to make sure that you're safe," he promised solemnly.

"Edward, please, for me," I begged him, looking into his eyes. "Please relax. Tanya isn't going to come now, and if she does, than that's fate. But I want to be happy today, and I don't want to worry. We've been doing for the past two weeks. I just want a week of happiness. _Please_."

Edward nodded seriously for a moment, and then a breathtaking grin spread over his features. There was no sparkle in his eyes, however, as he stopped the car.

I pulled down the mirror and scrambled to fix my hair. Edward reached over to place his cool hand over mine, his eyes sparkling with amusement as I futilely tried to break through his iron grasp and fix the little strays trying to stick up.

"You look beautiful, love."

I nodded as he got out of the car, walking around the front of the car gracefully to open my door. I took his hand tightly in mine, and although he probably barely felt it, he squeezed mine back.

I looked at the door, noting that although it wasn't large, it was homey. I was sure that Annabel was having a good stay with her father here. I pictured her lying with Scott in the front lawn, on the green grass in the summer days as the warm sun shone down on her.

It was a one story house, green with white shutters, blending in nicely with the surrounding houses. Bushes lined under the windows, and I imagined white flowers blossoming in the spring. There was a white picket fence, and although the house was only one story tall, I knew that it was large on the inside.

"Ready?" Edward asked, and I nodded. He knocked once, twice, and then the door opened.

"Scott!" I yelled, running into his arms as Edward let his hand slip from my grasp. Scott opened his arms and I ran into them, hugging him tightly as I fought against unexplainable tears that were forming in my eyes.

"I've missed you so much," I blubbered as he patted my back gently.

"I've missed you too," he said, his voice thick as he pulled back to look at me. He looked slightly older, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, his hair showing little grey strands here and there, but he looked happy.

"You look good, Bella," he said as he pulled me in for another hug. "And who is this? I received a call from you, young man."

"Yes sir," Edward said politely as he stepped through the door. I knew that he was still troubling himself over Tanya, however. One of the reasons that I knew that he'd accepted coming was to make sure that I was as far away from her as possible. "I believe that you talked to my father as well. We thought that Bella might enjoy this as well as you."

Scott seemed surprised by Edward's polite manner, but he quickly controlled himself.

"Y-yes, thank you very much," he said, and his voice was filled with earnest as he spoke. "You don't know how much this means to me."

Edward nodded, "It was my pleasure. I got the idea when Alice told me Bella was mumbling about Annabel and you in her sleep. I figured it would be an enjoyable gift for everybody."

Scott nodded, reaching a hand out to shake Edward's.

"Sorry, my hands are always cold," Edward said quickly, feigning embarrassment as I reached for his free hand. I took it, pretending that I didn't feel the rock hard texture as it gripped mine.

Scott nodded, smiling as he glanced around. He turned his attention back to me, waving his hands forward as he walked through the house.

"Would you like a tour, or would you like to just see your sister?" He asked, turning with a grin to watch the excitement pour over my features. I was nervous, too, however. The only memory I had of her was when she was covered in my mother's blood, premature and screaming with her tiny lungs. What if she saw me now and screamed? What if she cried and threw a fit?

I wanted her to like me. I knew that no matter what, I would have no choice but to love her either. She could have purple hair, yellow eyes and three fingers, and I still would have no other option but to hold her and love her.

But I'd heard women talk about how young children wouldn't talk or look at them. They would laugh, saying it was a phase, but I didn't want it to happen to me.

I knew that I didn't have that much time. I would be leaving in a week, and I had no idea when I would be able to return. So I said yes, eagerly, and Scott turned without another word and led me to the living room.

In the middle of the living room, lying there, trying to lift her small head, was Annabel.

I let out a shaky breath as I walked slowly across the room. Edward let me go, releasing my hand as I half stumbled, half ran to the beautiful child in the center of the room.

"Annabel," I cooed, reaching a hand out tentatively to brush a hand over her hair. "Annabel."

I felt the warm tears falling down my cheeks, felt them trickle with the heat as I stared at the little girl. She looked up at me, her blue eyes meeting my brown, and _smiled_.

"Oh Annabel!" I cried, putting out my hands to wrap around the small child. I held her to me, rocking her back and forth gently as my heart pounded. Her small body was so soft, so warm, and her purple dress said 'Santa, I've Been Good'. I grinned and kissed her quickly, humming as she squirmed in my arms. She reached a tiny hand up to pat my face, sticking her tiny fist against my mouth. I pressed my lips to her knuckles quickly, laughing as she pulled back quickly, a giggle escaping her lips as she twisted around in my grip.

"I love you," I said to her, and I knew it was true. Within seconds, this little girl whom I barely knew had me wrapped around her tiny fingers. She was so completely stunning that I was at a loss for words as I turned to face Scott and Edward.

Scott stood by the door, tears running down his cheeks as I cooed and hugged the little girl. Edward was watching with his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"May I come and see?" Edward asked me, grinning as he knelt down beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, staring at her in wonder as her eyes watched Edward's every movement. Even as a small child, she could tell that Edward was extraordinarily beautiful.

"Hey sis," I said as her eyes were torn from Edward's face to land on mine, "This is Edward Cullen. He's my boyfriend, got it? Mine."

I gaped at her response.

"Did she just _roll her eyes _at me, Edward?"

Edward was on the floor now, shaking with laughter as he nodded 'yes'. I turned to the little girl, who was giggling again as she watched him.

"Scott, she's like what… four months old?"

Scott nodded, and I turned to see that he was laughing too. "She's pretty sassy. I don't know how she learned to roll her eyes, especially at this age. She's strong, and pretty smart. She knows exactly when it's time to eat, when to get changed, and when it's bedtime. She throws a fit exactly twenty minutes before nine; I think she's trying to make it a routine. The only thing that makes her stop is a drip of water on her tongue."

I turned back to the little girl, smiling at her as I tried my best to be serious. "Annabel, you can't steal other people's boyfriends. Although you're so darn cute, I can't imagine anybody who's going to turn you away."

I made a point of turning to Scott, a mocking smile on my face as Edward wrapped his arms around me once more, breathing in my scent as he rested his head on my shoulder. "You're probably going to have to fend off the boys with a broad sword."

Scott nodded in agreement, "But for now, I'm happy that she's growing healthily. The doctor was nervous at first, said that due to the… unorthodox measures of her birth," he paused, glancing at me. I didn't flinch, mainly because of Edward's soothing breath blowing on my neck. His muscles felt stiff though, and I wished that he would just forget about Tanya for one moment. "He said that she may have some struggles. But she's a fighter, stubborn, just like you."

I grinned proudly as he smiled again.

"Well, tell me about work," I prompted. He groaned and launched into a story about how a client had decided to throw a fit in the middle of the office, yelling and screaming until he had to be escorted out by three guards.

The rest of the night passed slowly while Scott and I caught up with each other. I wouldn't let Annabel out of my arm. I fed her and changed her and snuggled her close to me as she squished her tiny cheek against my chest and grabbed the top of my shirt with her tiny fist. Scott was asking questions, and I was answering them as best I could. Most were related to school and friends, and whether or not I had a job.

"What are your plans for school son?" He questioned Edward seriously at one point in the night. I groaned, but Edward took the question seriously, even though we both knew that he had gone to high school and college more times than I'd imagined possible.

"Well, I'm hoping to get into Dartmouth," he started. "My brother, Emmett, and my sister Rosalie just got their acceptance letters there, and I would be highly interested in attending also."

"Oh," Scott said, "Well Bella, you sure can pick them!"

I laughed and nodded, but I found out later that Scott wasn't near finished.

Later that night, after Annabel had started to become restless in my arms, Scott announced that it was time for her to sleep. I stood and carried her into her nursery, the light pink walls soft and warm and inviting.

And as I stared at the beautiful child in my arms, I began to shake with joy.

"So beautiful," I whispered as she smiled at me, reaching a hand up to pat my face gently.

And I grinned as Edward's arms wrapped around me, all worry for the upcoming weeks fading away as he pressed his mouth to my cheek, his lips hard with tension and anxiety as he stared at the beautiful child in my arms. I had no idea the hardships I was going to face in the next two weeks. The hardships that were already threatening to tear us apart.

In the past few weeks, Edward had been reluctant to tell me anything. He said that he didn't want to worry me, that everything was going to be okay. I believed him, because I loved him, but I wanted him to tell me what was going to happen. We'd talked a lot in the past two weeks about tactics, but the Cullens had always made sure I was out of the room before they spoke in the low voices that they were using more and more around me. I turned to him, placing Annabel in the crib. She frowned at me, but I brushed her hair gently, smiling as she turned her small body to lay on her side.

"What's going to happen to me?" I whispered. He placed his hand on my shoulders, tilting my head up to look into his eyes.

"Bella, listen to me," he commanded sternly. I couldn't move from under his gaze, so I simply nodded. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I will die a million horrible deaths before I let her lay a hand on you. Do you trust me?"

Doubt swirled in my mind, but it wasn't because I didn't trust Edward. I knew that at the drop of a hat he would lay down his life for me, and that scared me. The reason I was faced with such a great deal of doubt was because I thought of Edward as an angel. A beautiful protector, somebody who was meant to keep safe, instead of putting himself in danger.

_I won't let anything hurt you Edward,_ I thought determinedly,_ I won't let anybody hurt my angel. _

"You're tired, love," Edward murmured, taking my hand in his gently as he led me out of the room. He paused at the door, his eyes shining as he glanced at the sleeping child in the crib. He reached out to shut off the light, slipping the door shut quietly.

"Is the monitor on?" I whispered anxiously. Edward chuckled, brushing his lips over my forehead and running his hand down my cheek.

"Yes, love. You are so beautiful. I'm trying to imagine what you would be like as a mother."

My heart sped up, but the look on his face made me pause.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I asked, worried at the distress on his face. I wrapped my hand over his, still on my face, and squeezed it gently.

"You know that... with me… that life would not be possible," he said, turning his face away gently to stare at the wall. After my mind had absorbed this information, I smiled.

"Edward, I don't care. Don't you see that? After Renee…" I said, trying to gather my words. He turned back to me, his eyes shining with regret and sadness. "After Renee, the thought of being a mother is gone. I love being a big sister, and this is my chance to act like a parent as much as possible, but I'm just not… interested in caring for a child full time."

"Besides," I said, trying to lighten the mood, "At least now we can be like grandparents. Spoil and send home."

Edward chuckled lightly, but the sparkle I enjoyed seeing so much did not reach his eyes.

"I just don't want you to have any regrets. I don't want you to wake up one day, and realize that it's not me you've wanted all along. I don't want you to be like Rosalie, who, although she has Emmett, regrets this life every moment of her existence. I don't want you to walk through the park with me in fifty years, and look around and realize that it was a child you wanted. I want you to be happy."

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head on his chest as I thought over his words.

"No, Edward," I said finally, knowing the answer all along. "I only want you."

He smiled, brushing his hand through my hair softly.

"Wait, you said in fifty years…"

Edward smiled and nodded his head like it was obvious, the beautiful grin I loved so much spreading over his features.

"Yes, it's wonderful, Bella. You'll be able to have a full life, get old and see the world. You'll-"

"Die!" I yelled, glaring at him. I spoke slowly, although the pain in his eyes almost made me want to pause, I didn't. I did speak slower though, softer. "I'm going to die, Edward. One day, today, tomorrow, fifty years… it doesn't matter, I will die."

"I won't let you," he said determinedly. I barked out a sharp, sarcastic laugh, patting his shoulder.

"Edward, you may be perfect, but there will be a time when you can't save me. And what about when I'm old and wrinkled? Sagging and toothless, and I can't even remember who you are?"

"It won't matter to me," Edward said fiercely, his eyes scorching mine.

"Edward, look. I love you, and I like to think that you love me too, right? So why don't you want to change me?"

Edward looked at me softly, a frown on his face.

"Bella, love, you realize that I love you more than life, right?" I nodded slightly, and he continued. "Not seeing you blush, not hearing your soft, rhythmic heartbeat when I brush my lips over your forehead, would be the absolute death of me. I can't condemn you to this life I'm forced to endure, not only because I love you, but because your soul is much too precious for me to take chances with."

"What about when I get old, though?" I asked, my eyes fluttering shut as I thought of it. Me, old with my back arched forward as I hobbled through the streets. And standing next to me, Edward, forever seventeen and frozen in his beauty. I hated it.

"I'll follow soon after," he said simply, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against his chest.

"Edward. No. That is seriously..._ sick_. Besides, I know Alice has seen me becoming a vampire," I said, trying my best to sound convincing. His eyes narrowed, and a flash of emotions ran over his face before he sighed.

"Okay, I will admit that there have been times, since that day when the Denali coven came to visit, that I have thought of you as a vampire. I've wondered what it would be like, having you by my side forever. And as much as I love the idea, truly I do, I realize what I'm even… considering, and I feel remorse. I will never, ever allow you to be condemned to this life."

I sighed, laying my head against his chest.

"I don't want to argue with you anymore tonight," I whispered as he tightened his grip around me.

"I don't want to fight with you either. I just want to spend the rest of the night holding you," he said softly.

"I have no objections to that," I said, smiling up at him. He grinned crookedly back at me, bending down to capture my lips with his.

I heard somebody clear their throat and pulled away to see Scott standing uncomfortably in the hallway.

"Sorry to intrude… I was just wondering if you were hungry," he said, smiling weakly. I blushed violently, but my heart was soaring as Edward refused to let me go. Instead, he walked with me, my back pressed to his chest as we stumbled into the kitchen. I was laughing as I stumbled, Edward's arms tightening around me as his low chuckle rang in my ears.

Scott was smiling at me again, and when I turned Edward had both a pained and elated expression on his face. He bent down to press his lips to the top of my hair as he perched me in his lap on a stool in the middle of the kitchen.

"I'm glad you're happy, Bella," Scott said as he pulled a KFC box out of the fridge. I laughed at how normal he seemed as he dished the cold chicken onto three plates, setting the first into the microwave.

"I'm glad that you're happy too, Scott," I said. Scott got up and wrapped me into a hug, which was complicated because Edward refused to let me go, causing Scott to laugh as we nearly tackled each other.

"Still clumsy," Scott observed affectionately as he ruffled my hair. I grinned, sticking out my tongue at him.

"So," Scott said, pulling the first plate out of the microwave, "Tell me about school."

I smiled, telling him that I was doing good in school and my grades were above average. He was like my true father. I'd grown up with him, and although I loved Charlie terribly, my memories with Scott were far more advanced than the few I'd gained from Charlie. I loved them equally, but I was so ecstatic to be sitting here, showing him how well I was doing. I was proud that I could show him that I hadn't fallen a victim to the depression that had been threatening me when I first moved to Forks.

Scott placed the plates on the table, and unlike when I was with Charlie, Scott fired questions at me relentlessly. He looked at the plates and shook his head, leading us to the living room to sit and watch television while we ate.

"What's your favorite television show been lately, Bella?"

I grinned at the outburst I knew was coming. "Yes, it's still Full House"

Scott groaned, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "Aw Bella you could do so much better than that! Like Lie to Me! Now there's a good show. That has action, drama, suspense. It's a lot better than the loving story of nothing!"

"Is not," I countered, "At least in mine there's a message other than a man can tell who's lying and uses it to figure out what he wants."

Scott looked at me like I was hopeless. "Bells! That's the best _part!_"

Scott looked at Edward, filling him in on the details he didn't need. "Ever since I moved in, Bella has been obsessed with Full House. She grew out of it a little, but I think it's just her stubborn personality that has her hanging on to it. Most people grow up and realize that it's just a cheesy sit-com with lame jokes and people that can't act!"

I realized that he was barely telling Edward anymore, trying more to get the point across in my head. I rolled my eyes, snuggling into Edward's stone chest.

"I'm with you, Scott," Edward answered, smiling as I groaned and covered my ears.

"Stop it!" I yelled, laughing. Scott wasn't to be distracted for long though, and after another moment he fired off another question.

" What's your favorite song?"

I fiddled with my hands as I thought. The answer was so simple and obvious that I couldn't help but grin. "Uhm, I'd have to say my lullaby."

Scott looked at me questioningly. "Your lullaby?"

I nodded, jerking a thumb over my shoulder to point to the love of my life. "Yes, this man here wrote a beautiful composition to honor our relationship."

Scott's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions: surprise, happiness and awe. He really was a wonderful and caring father. I was grateful that Annabel had him.

"That's… that's very… wow," he finally managed, laughing at his stuttering.

"Yea," I agreed wistfully.

"So how did you meet?"

"Bella quite literally stumbled into my life," Edward said, pressing his lips to my cheek. I was sitting in his lap, his arms wrapped protectively around me as we sat on the couch. Scott smiled, obviously not concerned over our embrace. "At first I didn't want anything to do with her. But… she was just so mesmerizing, that after a while, I reached out and took her anyways. I knew then that I shouldn't, that I was wrong for her-the reason I was avoiding her in the first place- but I loved her, even then."

Scott smiled, but I saw a question in his eyes.

"Yes?" I prompted gently. Scott had always needed a little push, even when I was younger. Sometimes you had to give him a nice shove to make him even think about voicing what he was thinking.

"Well, I was just thinking… how are you not right for her?" Scott looked serious, and if I were Edward I'd have been shaking with fear. I could tell he was being protective, looking out for my best interests at heart. It was one of the reasons that I normally enjoyed having his presence as a fatherly figure.

"Well," Edward said, smiling at me with his eyes a golden butterscotch, warm with love. Love for me, Bella Swan. The thought alone was enough to cause my heart to gallop in my chest violently. He reached out slowly to stroke my cheek as I leaned into his cool palm. "Bella is beautiful, smart, funny, and charming. Who was I but an undeserving peasant to try to take her away from all of the other men so willing to be with her?"

Scott must have heard something he liked, maybe Edward's confession of his undying attraction and devotion to me, or the fact that Edward's answer wasn't drugs and partying, because he smiled and moved on.

"What are your plans with my daughter?"

I grinned as he called me his daughter. It meant more to me than he probably imagined that he still considered me a daughter even though my mother, the woman that had captured his heart so many years ago, had killed herself. Edward smiled, brushing his hands through my hair.

"We were discussing that earlier, sir," Edward said, chuckling. Scott's eyes grew wide or a moment before he calmed down. I also admired that about Scott, he knew how to control his emotions quickly.

"And?"

"Well sir, I was going to ask Charlie, since I believe that he has a right too, but as long as I'm here it would be smart to ask you as well. I love Bella very much, sir. More than a man has ever loved a woman, and I know that my feelings will never change for my entire life. Part of the reason that I came here today was to ask if you would accept if I asked for your daughters hand in marriage."

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**a:n/** haha. DONT HIT ME! xD

I have most of the next chapter written already, so I'll strike a deal. If a get 15 reviews, I'll post another update tomorrow. I pinkie promise. But if I have less than that, I probably won't until Monday. Remember, if you review you'll get an extended update!

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"I don't want any sex in my house, understood?"


	20. Slipping Down

Big thanks to **Angels for Airwaves**, my biggest fan (and stalker), and the best beta in the world :D

I would LOVE to dedicate this chapter to just one person, but I think I'm going to have to dedicate it to two :**D xoxotaytayxoxo **for reading the entire story and commenting along the way, and **iwantmyedward, **so that you don't die (:

_I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION! This story has about ten chapters left, would you be interested in a sequel? _If yes, than you must let me know! Leave your answer in the comment box, this is definitely important!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing; it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer

* * *

My eyes popped out of their sockets, as did Scott's.

"M-Marriage?"

"Yes." Edward said, smiling at me. He leaned in closer, whispering to me. His breath swirled in my ear, causing shivers to run up and down my spine. "Don't you want to be my wife?"

I shook my head, ignoring the mock disappointment. He leaned in closer, his lips touching my earlobe as he spoke, his voice husky. "But aren't I a good kisser?"

I nodded weakly, becoming prisoner to his touch.

"Don't you love me?"

"Uh-huh," I managed, my voice embarrassingly shaky. I looked up to see Scott had left the room, either because he was so upset over the marriage proposition or the fact that he saw my reluctance in marriage.

"Then why don't you want to marry me?"

"Because!" I yelled, panic building up in my voice as I spoke. "I'm so young! We haven't even told the school, or Charlie, that we were together! What would everybody think?"

His lips were on my neck now, planting feather kisses there. He glanced up to look at my eyes seriously, and I realized that at some point he'd rolled me onto my back. He hovered over me, his eyes scorching against my own. "Do you really care what they have to say? Bella, I love you. I'm going to love you forever, and there isn't one man versus another who can convince me otherwise. I want you, forever."

"No," I said, trying to sound firm. But his lips at my neck, traveling along my jaw was easily distracting me.

"No?" He murmured, his lips curved into a smile as he pressed his lips to mine. "I really would like you to say yes, you know."

I thought about it for a moment. The horror of walking down the aisle in a white gown, flowers around me as I made my way down the long aisle, arms linked with Charlie and Scott as they gave me away. I pictured myself in ten years, plucking out random gray hairs as Edward chuckled behind me, his flawless face grinning at me.

I saw myself in twenty years, frowning in the mirror as I applied a new age anti-wrinkle cream. I saw my wedding ring glimmer in the light as Edward told me I was still beautiful, still his Bella.

And to my horror, I saw myself as a seventy year old woman. My dentures slipping as Edward planted a soft kiss on my wrinkled, weathered lips. A child walking by in the park, asking if I was his grandmother. Laying on m deathbed as he held my hand, tears that would never fall shining in his eyes as I said goodbye to my final moments in this life.

"Bella?" Edward looked at me with concern for my silence.

"One condition."

Edward's face lit up in the most exhilarating smile as he pushed me down, smashing his lips against mine. He wrapped a hand around my waist, pulling my closer to him. His other hand ran down the side of my body, my eyes rolling back in my head as his arm wrapped around my calf, hiking it around his hip. My breath hitched, my heart pounding as his lips continued to move against my own. I moaned, but I was too caught up in the moment to give it much thought.

This was not how Edward normally behaved. He explained to me from the start that we had boundaries, that we had to be careful. I wasn't going to object though, because this was much, much too nice.

"_Anything_," he swore, his voice husky in my ear.

"I will marry you," I said slowly, the brilliant smile on his face again, "If you change me."

His eyes narrowed, glazing over. He reached a hand down to unwind my leg from his hip, rolling us so we were in sitting position again. He kept his arms around me though; that man was a real keeper of his promises. His eyes locked with mine, an undeniable force swirling in his fierce golden irises.

"No, Bella."

"Listen to my logic!" I said, trying not to sound like I was pleading. It didn't work, and I caught the corner of his lips turn up into a smile.

"Please, let me know what is so logical about selling your soul to the damned," he scoffed, glancing away from me. He fixed his gaze on the wall, but I knew he was listening to every sound I made.

"You're not damned," I said softly. "Don't you want to make me happy, with you, forever?"

"What if you change your mind?" He said, tortured as he turned to me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Edward, if I wanted to change my mind then I would have by now, and I wouldn't have accepted your proposal. Wouldn't it be much easier to spend forever with me, rather than to watch me get old and withered and die?"

"I'm not putting you through the pain, the utter agony," he said sternly.

"I'll just ask Alice," I said, remembering her words from the day before. I knew she would do it for me if I asked.

His eyes grew black as pitch, and although I would never admit it to him, I was terrified of him in that moment. "She wouldn't dare," he said slowly, his voice dripping with malice.

"She would," I said when I was sure my voice wouldn't shake, "And if you refuse, I'll get her to."

He glared at me in fury, but as soon as he was going to open his mouth he paused, his face composing into a serene mask just as Scott walked into the room.

Edward immediately fixed his face into a smile, but I knew it was forced. His eyes held no sparkle, lost some of their beauty as Scott paused at the door. I was smiling brilliantly, a true smile, because I knew that either way, I was going to be changed.

"I'm going to turn in," he said carefully, narrowing his eyes at Edward. "Where are you planning on sleeping?"

"With Bella, sir," Edward said. After a moment his eyes popped out and he backtracked quickly. "What I meant was… not _sleep _with her, sir…"

Scott only laughed loudly. I was sure if vampires could blush Edward would be as red as a tomato, or at least as red as I was. I'd never seen Edward so confused or uncomfortable before in the entire time I'd known him. Scott got serious though as he eyed up Edward.

"I don't want any sex in my house, understood?"

Edward seemed to have regained some of his natural confidence.

"I assure you, sir, that Bella and I have not taken that step in our relationship," he said calmly.

"Not in my house," Scott grumbled, turning to walk away. He turned again, his eyes curious as he stared at us. Edward smiled slightly, his eyes twinkling. "If you're going to sleep in the same room, you're going to want to sleep in the guest room. It's down the hall to the left. Right across from mine, don't forget that son."

Edward nodded, smiling as he stood up with me cradled in his arms. I felt my eyelids start to struggle to stay open.

"Thank you, sir," Edward said earnestly. I wondered what I was missing when my eyes had slipped closed, but when I opened them, Scott was staring down at me.

"You're welcome, Edward. And please, call me Scott. I feel like you're already my son."

I wondered if I was dreaming as Edward carried me to bed. He wrapped the blankets around me, pulling me against his chest. I felt how stiff he was, how stressed he was now that he didn't have to pretend in front of Scott.

"Edward," I said softly, kissing his shoulder. It worked and he relaxed slightly, brushing my hair away from my face.

"Yes, love?"

"Are you mad at me?"

I expected Edward to stiffen, but instead he just turned me around and pressed his lips to mine.

"Listen to me Bella," he said, pulling away so I could have some air, "I could never, ever be mad at you. Don't you remember me telling you this? If anything, I'm more angry at myself."

I'm sure my voice sounded puzzled when I looked up at him. "Huh? Why?"

Edward chuckled, but it wasn't nearly as relaxed as normal. "Bella love, I'm forcing you to think about things that I'd rather you not think about. I've been giving you the wrong impression, and I'm scared that you'll begin to think that I don't want you. I want everything that is you, and I never want you to think otherwise. I'm just torn right now."

"Torn?" I asked, staring up at him again. I reached my hand up, feeling his face in the darkness. His lips were set into a frown, his muscles tense. He froze as I spoke before his lips turned into a forced smile.

"Sleep," he said, pulling me closer. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck and wrapped my arms around him, closing my heavy eyelids and quickly succumbing to sleep as Edward hummed my beautiful lullaby.

--

"Merry Christmas," Edward murmured as he trailed kisses down my neck. This was a very, very nice way to wake up.

"Merry Christmas," I mumbled, stretching in his arms as I rolled over on my stomach. I kicked my legs like a little child, excitement in the pit of my stomach as the butterflies fluttered nervously. Edward and Alice had taken care of the presents for Scott, saying that they knew he was going to enjoy them.

"I have to get dressed," I said in a tone that implied that I was more stating a fact rather than actually doing it.

"Yes you do," Edward said simply, his lips tracing my jaw , "But you don't have to right now."

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p' as his lips landed softly on mine. I didn't want to kiss him with morning breath, so after a moment I pulled away. "I need a human minute."

Edward nodded, opening his arms that had been wrapped around me to allow me out of his embrace. I scrambled quickly to the bathroom, making sure I had my clothes as I ran a brush through my hair.

After I was finished showering and brushing my teeth, I met Edward in the kitchen.

"I don't believe I said Merry Christmas very officially," he said as he snaked his arms around me. I couldn't say anything as his lips met mine, softly at first, like usual. I put my hands on the back of his neck, gently pulling his closer.

But suddenly his lips became urgent, pressing against me and silencing every weak protest that I had in my body. I pressed myself closer to him, trying to get the most out of the few seconds I could. But Edward wasn't being himself, pressing himself even tighter against me.

And even though it was the best kiss, and I loved every second of it, it frightened me a little. When he pulled away it was quick and decided, and his strong arms prevented me from going any further.

"You still haven't answered my question," he said as we gathered our breath.

"You haven't answered mine," I said back as he frowned.

"Yes, but that's hardly fair because you have Alice," he said, but before I could open my mouth to say anything Scott walked in.

"Merry Christmas!" He boomed, grinning as he strolled into the kitchen in his pajamas. I smiled at him as he pulled the coffee pot out of the holder. "Want some?"

I shook my head no, Edward and I both telling him Merry Christmas as we walked into the living room.

"I'm going to go get Annabel," Scott said, placing his coffee cup on the end table. I looked at him, placing a hand over his own as his eyes met mine.

"Can I?"

Scott nodded and I turned quickly to run through the halls. When I got outside of her room I slowed, opening the door quietly as I stepped inside.

It was dark, but I saw her tiny figure sitting up in the middle of the bed.

"Hey baby," I cooed, reaching my arms out just as she did. We both grinned, and I scooped her into my arms as I brought her to the changing table. I felt more like a mother than her sister, and I knew that I would always act like it to her. I couldn't just leave her alone anymore, it was too difficult. I knew that no matter what happened, I wouldn't be able to survive without knowing how she was.

"You're going to be such a wonderful girl," I said to her as she giggled on the changing table. I picked out an outfit and slipped her diaper off, cleaning her up before slipping on the candy cane dress she would be sporting for the day.

"Edward asked me to marry him," I told her, not expecting her to answer. She just stared at me, her blue eyes twinkling.

"What? You want to know what I'm going to say?" She grinned, reaching a hand up to grab my hair. She yanked her hand around excitedly, but I didn't mind the small amount of pain that came with her joy. I knew my answer to Edward would be yes. In my heart and in my soul I knew that if there was any way of being with him forever, I would take it. But I was only a junior in high school! I was only seventeen for God's sake! I wasn't near ready to take that step in my relationship yet.

I knew I would do anything to be with him though. Even if it meant walking, and tripping, down the aisle in a white gown, I would do whatever it takes to make sure that I could be with him forever.

For the rest of the day we opened presents. Scott loved the season tickets Alice had picked out for him, and he even bought me a charm bracelet. It was silver and had a red crystal heart, and it was stunning. I wore it on my right wrist, my left occupied by Edward's bracelet. They looked stunning next to each other, and I thanked him as we hugged and talked the day away.

The rest of the week past much too quickly, and I found myself saying goodbye much too soon.

"I'm going to miss you," I said, tears in my eyes as I hugged him tightly.

"I know," he said, wiping a tear away from his face. "It seems like only yesterday you were stepping through that door. I don't know when we're going to see each other again Bella, so know that I love you very much. You've grown into a beautiful girl, and I hope that you're always happy. You can call me for anything, and I'll be more than happy to fly over there in the spring."

I nodded, hugging him again. I went up to Annabel, the girl that felt more like my child than a sister, and hugged her tightly. She was too small to do much more than tap my face, but she knew something was wrong because she started to cry.

"Don't be sad," I murmured, stroking her hair gently. "I'll be back to visit you, I promise."

After Edward gently tore me away from Annabel, we got into the car and I watched as Annabel and Scott grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

"She's lucky she has him," I said quietly as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. Edward nodded, gently stroking my hand the entire way home.

--

The plane ride was like a dream, a vague memory that I can no longer recall. We were pulling into the driveway to my house now, my suitcase in the backseat. Edward looked at me tightly, his happy demeanor gone now that we had returned to Forks. I knew that life couldn't continue in the joyous state that it had been for the past week, and I was simply thankful that Edward had at least been able to relax for our stay with Scott.

I'd never answered his question, and he was getting anxious more and more by the day. He didn't push me to answer, though, now that we were home and his mind was on other things.

"Emmett's going to stay with you tonight, as will I," Edward explained as he put the car into park. "We'll be back around ten, in your room."

I nodded seriously, although my heart hammered in my chest. "You really don't need to go to all that trouble."

He looked at me like I was crazy, and spoke slowly. "We have two weeks until she comes. Two weeks. I don't want anybody to lay their hands on you, I won't let it happen."

"I love you," I said quietly. He nodded, going around the car to open the door for me. He kissed me fiercely, a desperate plea in his lips as they moved with mine. My heart hammered in my chest as I pressed myself closer to him, but he didn't stop.

His hand held the small of my back, pulling me closer to his body as my hands tangled in his hair. His hands ran through mine, stroking my cheek gently as he pulled away.

"I love you so much," he said, kissing my forehead gently. I nodded and he led me inside as I ran into the arms of Charlie.

"I've missed you, Bella," Charlie said as he hugged me tightly. "The food has sucked without you."

I laughed, pulling back to look at Edward.

"Has he been good to you?" Charlie asked quietly as we walked into the kitchen.

"Yes," I said, laughing as Edward hovered by the doorway.

"I should go sir," Edward said, his voice strained. "Alice is having a bit of an emergency."

I knew the emergency he was talking about, and I knew that I was the one that caused it. I sighed as Charlie reached forward to shake his hands.

"Thank you Edward," Charlie said, ignoring the cold of his hand. Either he didn't feel it, or he was too emotional to care, "I hope everything with Alice is okay."

"Oh, we'll make sure of that sir," Edward said determinedly.

"Bye Edward, love you," I said, hugging him around the waist. He hugged my back gently, pulling away quickly.

"I'll see you at ten," he said. I glanced at the clock, I only had three hours. I nodded as he turned and walked back to his car.

After I made Charlie dinner, and after we caught up for the week, I said I was going to bed.

"I love you Charlie," I said quietly, hugging him tightly. He seemed surprised but he hugged me back tightly.

"I love you too Bells," he said, "So much."

"No," I said, my voice shaking. "I love you so much. If anything ever happens to me, don't forget that I love you. I know that when I first moved here, I wasn't the best daughter, but I hope that in the past few months you realize that I've been_ so_ happy here."

"You've never been a bad daughter," Charlie said, his voice upset. "You've always been an amazing daughter. You've been through so much, it's a wonder that you're still sane!"

I forced myself to laugh, and his eyes narrowed at me.

"Is anything up?" He asked, his eyes guarded. I shook my head quickly, forcing another smile on my face.

"I just wanted to let you know," I said.

"It's not Edward, is it?" He asked, anger building up in his features as I shook my head quickly, shocked by his assumptions.

"No, God no!" I yelled, the absolute shock on my face convincing him I was telling the truth. "I was just saying, stuff happens sometimes, and I wanted you to know that."

Charlie nodded, hugging my tightly. I wiped the tears from my eyes, said goodnight and ran up the stairs.

I opened my door quickly, determined to shower before Edward came back.

But as I opened the door, my heart stopped.

I stared straight into the eyes of beautiful, angry Tanya.

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**A:N/** hey guys, I told you I'd update today :D sorry, i finished this at 4, but it had to go through the beta machine, and i had to go to a conf. meeting thing at 6. its 9 now, and i had to edit it. i hope you like it!

…_. Let me say, I am SHOCKED! I have… 23 reviews right now! I'm so completely siked, it's not even funny. I was NOT expecting to get that many, especially since there's been a decline of people reading my story. If you guys can do that again, 15 reviews, I'll probably push myself to update by Monday night :D _

_**I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION! **This story has about ten chapters left,** would you be interested in a sequel? **_If yes, than you must let me know! Leave your answer in the comment box, this is definitely important!

**

* * *

**

**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"Now, do you really believe that that is the wise thing to do, Edward?" He asked, his voice smooth and low. I felt my body tremble and shake in fear.

"Don't," I whispered, pain etched in my voice as I struggled against his grasp. His arms tightened, causing me pain. "Don't do it Edward!" I screamed, desperate.


	21. Attack

Gimundo thanks to my amazing beta, **Angels for Airwaves**, for being well... amazing :D

I'm going to dedicate this chapter to **Spiderman**, for saving my life ;]

Big thanks to all my reviewers, we had 19 that time!! I'm so excited!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, Stephenie is god...ess

* * *

"Tanya," I said, my voice shaky, "Why are you here?"

She ignored my question, her eyes burning into mine.

"Listen to me, _Bella_," she said, spitting my name like a swear word. "You're going to go downstairs and tell Charlie goodnight. You're also going to tell him _goodbye_. Then I want you to come back up here quickly. If you make any other moves, I will know, and I will kill your father."

"I already said goodbye," I whispered, gripping the end table. I was glad that I'd said goodbye earlier, if I went down now, who knows what may happen. I didn't trust the tears threatening to spill over my eyes. "Please don't hurt him. He's just a man."

Tanya nodded as though my news didn't concern her at all. And I suppose that, in a way, it didn't.

"Then let's just get this over with, shall we?"

"Wait!" I said, a little too loudly. I toned down my voice slowly, hoping that Charlie hadn't heard my outburst. "Are you sure it's going to be smart, you know, to do it here? What if I make noise?"

She laughed softly, the look on her face almost insult.

"Come on, I want to kill you, not drink your blood. Do you really think that after everything I've worked for, that I would give it up now?"

I shook my head, knowing that all I really wanted was to distract her long enough. I glanced at the clock, noticing the time out of the corner of my eye, seeing that I still had hours.

"Just, why can't we be friends?"

She looked at me sadly. "I wish we could, but you're putting me in danger by even existing right now."

Her purpose for being here surprised me. I could only stare at her, dumbfounded until she continued.

"Humans are not supposed to know of our existence. When I came, you put my existence at risk. Edward, liking you as much as he does, well, that was what pushed me over the limit. You see," she said, strolling across the room with terrifying grace as she brushed her hands along my books and papers. She spoke slowly, her voice soft, "How could he love you, simple, ugly you, when he couldn't even love me?"

"He…" I said quickly, trying to think of anything. "He feels bad for me. I mean look at me!" I said, my heart racing as I ran a hand up and down my body. I gripped the table tighter as my knees wobbled. "I'm just like you said, I'm simple and ugly. He can't honestly love me, what you say makes perfect sense."

I didn't believe my words, for I knew that I was plain and simple, but I knew that Edward truly loved me more than anything.

_Please, Edward,_ I begged silently, _please don't let me down._

"Yes. Hmm, I wonder," she mused quietly, sitting down in my rocking chair and crossing her legs. I glanced at the door, knowing it was pointless. I could only hope to distract her long enough. She caught me staring at the door, laughing mockingly. "Don't think I just came here by myself. I may be blonde, but I'm not exactly stupid."

Her news surprised me, and I tried to look normal as I allowed myself to drop onto my bed heavily as my body trembled.

"Huh?" I managed, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

"We have," she said, tapping her hand on her chin as she thought of the right words, "A guard, I suppose. Maybe a police form would be a better phrase, they're called – "

"Volturi," I whispered. She seemed surprised that I knew this, but continued anyways.

"Yes, and they're very, very angry with you." She grinned, her blonde hair framing her face.

"Oh," I said, playing dumb.

"Yes, so if you know, you tried to run, they'd be there," she said, pointing out the window. It seemed more of a warning than information. "Right…out…there."

I nodded again.

"You know, you're a very boring human," she mused, standing up to glance at me with speculative eyes. "I don't see what Edward sees in you."

_He'll come for me._

"Me either."

That answer seemed to please her, and she nodded. "Okay, now let's go."

My heart sped up in my chest. It was difficult to appear strong when a vampire could hear your every move, ever increase in breathing, every pounding heartbeat.

"Don't worry," she said, seeming to enjoy herself once more, "I'm just going to snap your neck. You'll barely feel anything."

I stopped the scream building in my throat.

"Can we…Can we go somewhere else for this?" I asked quietly, wiping away a tear hastily from my eye. I didn't want Edward to come, I realized. I didn't want him to come and risk his life.

She simply nodded and gripped my arm tightly.

"I thought we were getting somewhere," I said sadly. If I was going to die, I wasn't going out without saying anything to my killer.

To my surprise, she nodded sadly. "It would have been nice, being your friend. Too bad you couldn't have been a vampire."

I couldn't say anymore as she swooped me forcefully into her arms. I closed my eyes tightly as she jumped from the second story window. Forcing the tears from my eyes, I tried to calm my heart as she ran into the forest. But every time I thought of calming down, it reminded me of what was about to happen, and my heart would gallop in my chest once more.

Suddenly she froze in her tracks, hissing as she threw me onto the ground. I felt my wrist snap; crying out in pain as I looked at the rock it had landed on.

"You really don't want to do this," a voice said softly. I looked up into the eyes of Edward, who was stepping through the trees.

"Hell yes I do," she hissed, gripping my broken wrist. I cried out in pain as the sharp, torturous pangs ripped through my body. "Now, I'll break her other one if you make any sudden moves."

I was surprised when three men stepped through the forest to join ranks beside Tanya.

"Oh," said the first one softly, "You made it here first, I see."

"Yes," Edward said calmly as his tortured gaze landed on me. "Alice saw you coming. I must admit, I'm a little surprised in you. I would have expected that you would at least give us a hint of warning. You weren't expected for another two weeks. Why the sudden change of mind?" He paused for a moment, hearing in the man's thoughts what he refused to say. He nodded, as if his answer made perfect sense. "I still don't think this is necessary. Surprise or not, this is utterly absurd."

"Go, Edward," I said, screaming in pain as Tanya's grasp on my wrist tightened.

"Is that necessary?" Edward asked, his voice pleading as he stared at the leader.

"No, I suppose not. Tanya, loosen your hold on the girl."

"Who are you?" I asked the leader of the group. He frowned at me; I suppose it was unusual for victims to ask questions.

"My name is Aro. This is Caius and Marcus, they are both members of the Volturi guard." Two small people stepped out of the woods then, a girl and a boy. "This is Alec and Jane."

Jane smiled at me, a beautiful, stunning smile. I was confused, so I didn't return the gesture. I was thankful though, that the pain had ebbed and numbed in my wrist. I was still lying on my side, and I decided to not make any sudden movements as I slowly raised myself into sitting position.

"What's going on?" The young one, Jane, screamed harshly as she glared at me. She shook her head, blinking a few times before smiling once more.

"Amazing," Aro breathed as he looked at me again. I scrunched my eyebrows, my gaze drifting back to Edward. I was surprised to see Carlisle and Emmett stepping through the woods to join rank at Edward's side.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed, glancing at me. He looked at Tanya, disappointment in his face. "What have you done, Tanya?"

Something flashed across her face quickly –guilt?-- before it returned to the same hard line it was before.

"I'm doing what's right, unlike you."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Carlisle said sadly, "But we're doing what is right."

Suddenly one of Aro's guards stepped in front of them both, a mocking expression on his face.

"I hate to break up the reunion," he said as he looked at me, "But we have a job to do here."

"No!" Edward yelled, panic building into his voice. Suddenly he calmed down, his voice monotone as he spoke. "On what accusations do you plan on killing this girl?"

Aro walked in front of me slowly, reaching out a cool hand for me to take. I accepted it carefully with my uninjured one, not knowing what to expect. He pulled me up to look at me with appraising eyes. He spun me around, and I felt like an animal on display as he lifted my chin to look at my eyes. I turned my gaze to Edward, who's expression was both angered and hopeful.

"This girl is special," he admitting, glancing at Jane. She was staring at me with a furious expression. "But no humans can know of our existence."

"No, they cannot. She must be killed!" Tanya said, stalking towards me again. Edward launched at her suddenly, tackling her to the ground as they snarled and growled fiercely at each other. Suddenly Edward whimpered in pain, crumpling into a fetal position as he let out a yell.

"What's going on?" I yelled, panicked as I tried to break free of Aro's suddenly strong hold. "What are you doing to him? Let him go!"

"Jane," Aro said patiently as Edward writhed in pain. Alec placed a hand on her shoulder, and suddenly her smile faded as her bored expression returned. Edward looked at Tanya again, leaning into a position of attack as he glared at his former friend.

I watched Edward bare his teeth at Tanya. She lowered herself into a position of attack as well as they circled each other menacingly. I heard nothing but warning growls emanating from each of their chests as they glanced at each other.

"Now, do you really believe that that is the wise thing to do, Edward?" Aro asked, his voice smooth and low. I felt my body tremble and shake in fear.

"Don't," I whispered, pain etched in my voice as I struggled against his grasp. His arms tightened, causing me pain. "Don't do it Edward!" I screamed, desperate.

"She wants to kill you," Edward said, not sparing me a glance as he looked at her.

"Yes," I whispered, desperate. I didn't want him to risk getting harmed. Tanya's back was to me, her blonde hair whipping around her face as she circled with Edward. It was like an intricate dance, one that professional dancers would die for, instead of two vampires preparing to kill the other. "Edward, if you… if you get hurt…"

"Edward man, relax. She has a point," I heard Emmett say. Edward ignored him though, speaking only to me.

"If I get hurt, what exactly?" He asked, loud enough for me to hear. I struggled against Aro's grasp, searching for anything that would make him stop. I could tell that they were teetering on the edge of a fight, a terrible fight that could end in his death. I wasn't going to let that happen.

I knew just what to say.

"If you get hurt, how will we ever get married?"

Edward sighed, slowly backing out of his stance. Tanya followed, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared out into the forest. She looked almost… disappointed in the outcome of the last few moments.

"Surely you're not planning on marrying the human?" Caius exclaimed, horror and outrage on his voice.

"You cannot. We must destroy her," Aro said carefully, then turned me to glance at me carefully. "Unless…"

Edward hissed loudly, but Aro ignored him.

"We could offer you a place…on our guard. You would be well taken care of, as I see much potential in you. Your powers would be so strong for a human already, it's stunning."

Carlisle stepped forward, his arms open in a gesture of peace.

"We assure you that that will not be necessary," he said calmly as he stepped closer. "Aro, my old friend, Bella has seen our way of life and enjoys it very much. We assure you that when she is changed, she will follow our diet faithfully."

"She has plans to be changed?" Aro asked skeptically, his old leathery skin loosening their hold slightly. Alice skipped into the field then, Esme and Jasper beside her as she stopped in the center of the clearing. Rosalie slid to a halt gracefully behind Emmett, every member of the Cullen family finally gathered together. I groaned internally; why couldn't they just leave my death be? They were putting themselves in danger, didn't they see that?

"Yes, she does," Alice chirped, as though the terrifying vampires threatening to fight and kill had no effect on her whatsoever. Her news surprised me; we had not talked about my being changed. I was hoping, secretly, but I didn't expect anything to happen for a very long time, if ever.

"When, exactly?" Marcus demanded, branching off from his rank beside Aro. Alice frowned at him, not affected by his threatening stance as she turned her gaze back to Aro.

"Well, we haven't thought it out very much," she said slowly. Aro didn't seem pleased by this, and Edward quickly interrupted.

"She's so young," he said slowly, gracefully stepping into place beside to Alice. Whether or not it was to simply talk or protect his sister, I wasn't sure. They were an arm's reach away from me, and Aro seemed to realize this as his grip tightened around me again. I prevented the scream in my through from the pain as Edward continued. "We would change her, but we need time."

"How much time?" Marcus demanded fiercely as he glared at me in hate.

"Before her eighteenth birthday," Carlisle said calmly. Edward looked tortured, but Emmett nodded, a grin breaking out over his face as he pointed to me.

"Look at her; she's a hazard to herself. She's going to be safer as a vampire anyway."

I glared at him, causing him to grin. I didn't see how he could make a joke at a time like this, but Aro chuckled lightly as he glanced at me.

"Yes, but if she wanted to join us…"

"We would not stop her," Carlisle said simply. I knew though, that I wouldn't dream of joining them for the world.

"With all due respect," Esme said gently as she looked at Aro, "You have no accusations to kill Bella. We have a plan to change her, we have a time limit, and she will be changed. You need to believe that, because she's much too special of a girl to be murdered like this."

Tanya looked uneasy now as she looked at me.

"She's supposed to be dead by now," she hissed fiercely. Edward growled sharply, causing me to shake again. "You know what she's done."

Aro nodded, looking at me.

"If you say she's as innocent as she is," he said, his soft voice barely heard by me. I suppose though, that the vampires could hear him perfectly. "Why did she plan to tell our secret to Forks?"

My mouth dropped open.

"W-what?" I stuttered, my eyes popping open as I turned slightly to face him. He tightened his grip on my wrist, and I let out a yelp of pain.

"Stop that!" Carlisle hissed, his usual calm demeanor shifting as he glared at his 'old friend'. "Must you harm her like that?"

"You have asked us on what grounds we make our accusations, and I am telling you them now!" Aro yelled, ignoring his friend's question. He turned to Tanya, shifting his gaze between her and myself as he spoke. "Did you not inform me that this was the truth?"

Tanya looked very uncomfortable now. She shifted her feet back and forth, looking at the ground.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie spoke up, take a step forward. Her family fell back, just as surprised at her outburst as I was. She turned to Tanya momentarily and glared, then shifted her gaze back to Aro. "I am not going to sugar coat this; I am not a big fan of Bella. I don't like her being human at all, but she makes Edward happy. Edward's happiness is not the point in this matter, however."

"Then what is the point?" Marcus hissed, standing beside Aro. I felt my body shake with fear as the vampire stepped closer to me. I realized he was going to hurt me if the Cullens got any sudden ideas. I shivered before Rosalie flipped her hair, agitated by the interruption, and continued.

"The point is the fact that _that _girl," she said, pointing to me, "Is the most saintly person I've ever met in my life. Before, when I despised her, I followed her around. I checked when she first learned our secret, to make sure she told nobody. When Edward was away from school for a few days, I listened in on every conversation she had. She hasn't told a single soul, nor has she planned on it. Her intentions are good in this family, and you can check with her, if you wish. "

Caius grabbed my uninjured hand quickly. His eyes turned to shock when he stared at me, and then anger.

"I cannot read her, sir," Caius said angrily as he dropped my hand.

Aro stared at me again, like I was a prize.

"How do we know, then, that her intentions are good?" He seemed to be talking to himself mainly, turning me around once more to look me over. Esme had a soothing arm on Edward's shoulder, and I figured it was the only thing that kept him from attacking now. I flashed back momentarily to when Edward was on the ground, writhing in pain, and shuddered.

"You'll have to just read us and figure it for yourself," Edward said through clenched teeth. I wondered vaguely what Aro must have been thinking to make Edward so completely angry. "You already have Rosalie's opinion, obviously."

"And will it matter much after she's changed?" Alice chirped quietly from beside Jasper. His lips turned up into a small smile at his wife's peppiness, even in such a time like this.

"I don't suppose it will," Aro said slowly, ignoring Marcus' objections. His eyes narrowed at me first, in a warning. "Don't believe we are always this cordial. We will be visiting again, and we will make sure that you are changed. If you are not, you will be killed."

I nodded solemnly, my heart racing as he turned his gaze to Edward and the rest of the family.

"Is there no need to fight, then?"

Carlisle stepped forward slowly. "No, dear friend, I don't believe we need to fight today."

"Are you sure about that?" Aro asked, a small smile playing on his lips. Suddenly Edward spoke quickly, too fast and low for me to hear. Marcus froze from his energized state as his mouth dropped down in shock. I glanced around, confused.

Suddenly a flank of wolves moved into the field from behind Edward. He grinned, a brilliant smile on his face as his eyes met Aro's.

"No, we will not be asking for a fight today. But if you're interested, we have the wolves on our side," Edward stated, gesturing a hand out to the large, horse like creatures that had entered the clearing. Werewolves? Was it entirely possible?

"Surely not!" Marcus hissed, glaring at the creatures. My eyes traveled wearily up to the animals standing in front of me. My fear all but vanished as I met the dark eyes of a large russet wolf. I could have been crazy, but to me it seemed like it was staring at me sadly before turning to look straight at Marcus. Was I going insane? Edward just smiled at Marcus and Aro again, a triumphant smile on his face.

"They're the protectors of our area. Sam Uley is their leader. Quil and Embry are second rank, and very strong. They heal quickly, and their true alpha is Jacob Black."

My eyes bugged out of my head as I searched the animals with an agonized glance. My eyes met that of the russet wolf once again, and suddenly everything clicked into place.

"J-Jacob?"

He nodded his head slightly as I struggled futilely against Aro's strong hold. Edward glanced at me with love, anguish and sorrow before he continued.

"What you're doing is wrong," he said to Aro slowly. "Bella is innocent, and if you try to attack her you _will _be attacked and you _will_ die."

His words seemed more like a warning than anything, and Aro seemed to recognize this. Marcus was still angry, it seemed, and itching for a fight.

"And she will be changed when we visit again?" Marcus sneered as Aro gave me to him instead. He pressed me tightly against his stone cold body, ignoring my protests. His grip was strong, too strong, and I let out a cry of agony as a sudden pain broke through my torso.

Carlisle flinched, ignoring Edward's growls as Emmett held him back. The wolves were howling, as if some of them were fighting against an invisible fence as they barred their teeth at Marcus.

"Yes, Bella will be changed. She will be a vampire the next time you see her," he said, reaching a hand out to shake with Aro. The wolves howled again, but they were ignored for the most part.

"I would like to deliver a message on behalf of the pack," Edward said through clenched teeth as he turned to the wolves. My head was spinning, trying to keep up with the sudden news. Edward had known the whole time, why hadn't I been told? My heart and head were too tired to keep up with the supernatural, however, and I felt as though a warm blanket was welcoming me into its embrace.

"Yes?" Caius said impatiently as I blinked twice to keep my eyes open.

"Sam would like to warn you that although they do not enjoy killing, they will if you try to harm a human anywhere in a twenty mile radius of La Push." A growl erupted in protest from the leader, a large black wolf, but he ignored it. "Jacob Black would also like to inform you that '_If you scum so much as believe that you're going to get away with it, I'll give you hell_.'"

I would have reprimanded him, but I couldn't breathe as Caius squeezed my torso tighter. I let out a wail as I fought against his hold.

"P-Please," I moaned desperately. The pack became uneasy, as did Edward. Emmett ran up behind his brother to hold him back as he growled at Caius.

Aro was chuckling lightly, staring at Edward. It seemed as though my pain was meaningless to him. His eyes were fearful as he stared at the seven wolves standing beside the vampires.

"As for you, Tanya," Caius said in the whispery tones the Volturi guard used. I struggled to free myself from Marcus' grasp, gasping as the pain made itself more evident in not only my torso, but my wrist as well.

"No," Tanya and Esme whispered at the same time. Esme glanced at her old friend with pity, sorrow etched onto her beautiful features.

"Is this really necessary? She was just confused she didn't know what was best!" Esme yelled. I had no room to be angry at her, for I myself didn't want to see anybody die today. Tanya had her own way of going about things, her own special ideas of what was right and wrong.

"She brought us here on accusations that a human was going to share our secrets to the world," Aro said simply. "What would that be an example of if we just allowed her to turn and leave?"

"D-don't…hurt…h-her," I said through clenched teeth. I screamed again, struggling against the iron grip that was causing me so much pain. Caius looked at me in wonder as he stared at Tanya. Her eyes were searching mine, terrified as she looked for an escape. "She j-just did…what she th-thought was right."

I let out a shriek as I was hurled to the floor of the forest. I heard another crack as my leg bent under me, causing me to scream out in agony.

"Don't go to her, or we'll kill her," Marcus said simply, staring down at me with joy. Through the wall of pain and agony, I realized that this was just a fun game to him. I kept my mouth shut, because I knew that he wasn't like Tanya; I couldn't talk back to him and get away with it; I couldn't try to convince him to do what was right.

"Please, you know that I'm a doctor," Carlisle begged him as I let out another scream. I didn't know where to hold; my wrist, torso or leg. "She's got fractured bones all over her body, you can't torture her; you've said yourself that she's done nothing of offense!"

"She spoke up when she shouldn't have," Marcus said simply, stepping over me protectively as though I were a wounded animal and him the lion. I caught Edward's eyes, locked eyes with his tortured gaze. I wished now more than anything that he could read my mind, so that I could tell him that I honestly didn't want him to make a move for me. He couldn't know what I was thinking, however, and made a move to me. Before I could make a sound of protest, he dropped onto the ground.

We were both lying on the forest floor. We let out a scream of agony at the same precise moment, and I glanced over through the haze to see Jane smiling angelically at Edward.

"Stop it!" I yelled fiercely through the pain and tears pooling over my eyes.

"If you do that, Marcus, I'm going to have to kill you," Edward said through clenched teeth. I didn't have enough energy to wonder his thoughts, and Marcus simply laughed as Edward let out another cry of agony as he spoke through gritted teeth. "Jane can't take us all down at once."

Aro nodded, "Jane, please. Marcus, leave her be."

I scrunched my body into fetal position as I fought against the heavy blanket pressing down on me.

"We must deal with the traitor, however."

"No!" Alice yelled as Jasper wrapped his arms around her waist to prevent her from jumping forward. I caught Tanya's eyes in the same moment she met mine.

"I'm sorry," we whispered to each other.

Suddenly swirling cloaks clouded my vision. I looked away as a loud metallic screech filled the air. When I realized it was Tanya screaming in protest, I let out a loud, broken sob. The Cullens did nothing except stand there, tortured as their friend was ripped to pieces. I saw Alice getting held back by Jasper, Esme leaning on Carlisle as she buried her face into his chest. The wolves stood there sadly, some spinning in circles as they fought against the invisible wall.

"No," I moaned as the pain wracked through my body, "No, no, no."

It became like a chant I was saying to prevent myself from realizing the truth. A second later, a pale, beautiful hand landed next to me. My eyes opened in shock, and I screamed as it began to move toward me.

"No!" I yelled as Edward crawled over, still recovering from the pain as he tossed the hand into the woods. He looked at me with wary eyes, glancing over my body.

"Carlisle," Edward moaned, tortured as he stared at me. "Carlisle, can't you do something?"

A scent of incense filled the air as I turned to see a pillar of smoke rising through the trees into the sky. My brain wasn't working properly, and the rest of the conversation felt like a dream as my attempts to fight against the blanket pressing down on me became weaker and weaker.

"Are we good, then? Now that you've had your_ fun_?" Carlisle said mockingly. My eyes were closed, and all I could do was listen now.

"I assure you that this was simply business," Aro said dismissively as somebody's presence hovered over me nervously. I felt a cool hand brush across my face with such tenderness that I knew it could only be Edward. A silent tear rolled down my cheek as I pressed one last time against the blanket.

"We expect to see you soon, dear friend. I'm sorry that our meeting had to come to an end like this," Aro said, disappointment etched in his voice as I gave in and slipped into unconsciousness.

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**a:n/ **dont forget my poll in the last chapter. that is IMPORTANT

im asking for 20 reviews now, i know, im selfish. 20 reviews and ill definately update tomorrow. please stay awesome :D

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"You have some explaining to do."


	22. Waking Up

big thanks to my awesome beta, **Angels for Airwaves**. Lie to Me is on in two hours!

i'd like to dedicate this chapter to **blushing flowers**, for sending me a nice PM instead of commenting on my note. here you go, my awesome reviewer (:

**disclaimer:** i own nothing, it a belongs to Stephenie Meyer

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"_What are you doing here?" I asked the man, staring at him in disbelief as Edward growled beside me. The man just walked forward silently, against my objections as I stood unready to protect myself. _

"_Why are you doing this?" I whimpered, hiding behind Edward's back as I looked for a safe harbor. The man spoke low and quiet, as though this was a business deal rather than the matter of ending my life. _

"_We presented you with an honorable time limit, no?" He asked as he crossed the room gracefully. Edward pressed me against the wall, his back to me as he crouched down into a low defensive stance._

"_Three years is hardly an honorable time limit, Aro," he growled. Aro looked curiously at me for a moment before shifting his gaze back to Edward. _

"_I believe that we had bargained for her time previously," he stated as raised his hands in a gesture of innocence. "We came, we saw what we needed and we left. In the meantime, you made a promise to us, and the Volturi guard is not one to forget promises made." _

"_Yes," Edward reasoned, his voice cool, "But it seems like you can hardly keep them either." _

_Aro allowed this, stepping a mere three feet away from Edward. _

"_I do not wish to fight with you, Edward Cullen, son of my friend," he said slowly, as though he was thinking of something very important at hand. "I do not have the time nor do I have the patience to go into a battle with you. The girl was said to be changed, that was the bargain that we had agreed upon."_

"_We needed more time!" Edward growled fiercely as his voice became pleading. "She was so young, she wasn't ready yet to become one of us."_

_The man's eyes met mine as it felt like he was prying into my mind, searching my soul. His next words were for me, chosen just like the ones that I'd wanted to say the past three years. _

"_And you, girl," he said slowly, "You are now nineteen, correct?" _

_I nodded slowly as he continued, "I have a simple question for you. In these past three years, have you asked to be changed into one of us? To spare your life and grant you immortality?" _

_I scoffed, which surprised him. "Yes, I have wanted to become a vampire. However, it is not to protect my life and grant me trivial matters such as immortality. I want to change to be with Edward, forever." _

_My speech hardly affected Aro._

"_Yes, but you have asked to be changed on many accounts?" _

_I nodded slowly. _

"_And these requests have not been met, that is obvious." _

_I nodded again, just as I heard a low growl emitting from Edward's chest. _

"_What you are planning is hardly just!" He exclaimed, pressing us closer to the wall. "You said you wanted peace!" _

_Aro glanced at him sadly before locking eyes with me. His next words sent shivers down my spine._

"_We have granted her more than enough time. We have given her the right amount of time to be changed, to recover from being a newborn, and to begin the resistance of blood. You agreed on her eighteenth birthday, and I can still feel the pumping as blood moves through her veins. You went against your word, Edward." _

"_I've done what is right, unlike you. I'll change her now, this very moment. Just don't hurt her," Edward begged pleadingly. He turned his back to me, his eyes blazing with worry and regret. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I love you."_

_Then Aro lunged for my throat._

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

I jolted up from my nightmare, shivering as I shook silently in the bed. I peeled my eyes open after what felt like a century, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Well hello," a husky voice said happily. I jumped, scared by the realization that somebody was in the room with me. The voice laughed quietly as I twisted and turned on the bed.

"Get out of my room," I said, my voice thick with sleep. Suddenly the events in the forest came rushing back to me, and I felt my heart start to race as I let out an involuntary whimper.

"Bella? Bella it's alright," the voice said as warm hands pressed against my forehead.

"No more," I whispered, closing my eyes tightly.

"Bella, Bella! It was a dream, it was a dream," the voice chanted again and again as warm hands ran through my hair, trying to sooth the racing machine that monitored my heart.

"No!" I shrieked, opening my eyes abruptly to the bright room in front of me. The pure white lights blinded me, and I searched through the haze until my eyes landed on Jacob. My eyes were wide with childhood fright as I searched his face. "Not a dream. Real. So, so real."

"Bella, it's okay," he said quickly as he held my face in his hands. I couldn't look anywhere other than his face, and his dark black eyes burned into mine. His words were determined and fierce as he spoke to me again, "Tanya is gone, Bella. She won't be coming back. The Volturi are gone too, and if they try to come again we'll make sure they regret it."

"Tanya's…dead?" I said slowly as my stare went blank and I looked forward into space. Jacob nodded again, and that was all it took for me to allow several tears to escape down my cheeks. "She was just... worried, about herself. She didn't like me because of Edward, but she wouldn't have k-killed m-me. It was her s-safety, I didn't want her to d-die."

Jacob looked at me, disbelief, shock and anger mixed together on his face to form a threatening grimace. He stared past me, shaking slightly as his hands wrapped into fists. Suddenly a bright smile lit his face as he shook his head at me.

"Bella, Bella," he said, chuckling, "Always the martyr."

I frowned at him, realizing that he truly wouldn't understand where my thoughts were coming from. I'd seen her; I'd talked to her in the home. She was jealous, yes, and I knew this. But nothing, _nothing_, not even Edward telling me he'd read her thoughts, could convince me that what I'd seen in her eyes before her murder had been fake. I saw the regret, saw the love she held for me, saw every emotion in her eyes as they locked with mine. Every emotion besides hate.

_I'm sorry. _

She'd said the words, and she had meant them. I tried to imagine where she was now, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to think of her, didn't want to think of her hand that was suddenly burning into my brain. Her hand, crawling towards me as it was dislocated from the rest of her body…

I shuddered at the memory just as Jacob spoke up again.

"So, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged, but it was forced. Part of me wanted to say guilty, although I knew I shouldn't feel that particular emotion. Sadness, yes, regret, definitely. But guilt was something that Jacob wouldn't understand.

"Physically, I'm okay," I said slowly, "But in my head… it's all a little much to take in."

He nodded tightly, almost as though he was forcing himself to be understanding.

"Wolves," I muttered, the word somehow familiar to me although I had no idea why. I searched through the memories, trying to figure out why it seemed to be screaming at me as I stared at Jacob.

Jacob. Wolves.

I gasped as realization slowly clicked into place as I turned my gaze to stare up at him in anger. He flinched back, confused by my actions as he put a hand up to calm me down.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked carefully, his eyes monitoring my every movement.

"Why didn't you tell me about your little… secret?" I asked quietly as anger faded into hurt. I stared past him, wondering why my emotions were so out of whack. On the average day, I would have simply wondered, but here I was, in the middle of a hospital, crying over the lack of secrets that Jacob was sharing with me.

He chuckled lightly as a tear slipped down my cheek. His warm hand reached down to brush it away, and the heat from his hand surprised me. I almost expected the water to vaporize at his touch.

"We weren't on speaking terms, remember?" He told me as I stared down at my hands. Again, the unusual emotions overpowered me, and I found myself laughing.

"Yes, I do, because you were being a meanie."

He glanced at me, one eyebrow raised at my childlike demeanor.

"I think we need to lower your pain meds," he mumbled, reaching for the speaker. "Nurse? Can we ask you to come in here for a moment?"

"Sure," a man said quickly. I laughed out loud at the thought of a male dressed in pink scrubs.

"It's a _guy_?" I asked incredulously as I stared ahead. Jacob just glanced at me worriedly as he watched the clock, waiting for the man to come in.

"Tell me about the wolves," I said quickly, realizing that they wasn't much time. My urgent tone surprised him, and he quickly struggled to think of what to say. I noticed how…huge he had gotten since I'd seen him last. He was taller, more strongly built, and his long hair had been chopped off and neatly buzzed.

"Well, there's not really that much to tell. We're enemies of the vampires, and that's why I turned. Your… boyfriend," he said, spitting the word, "Is the reason I changed. I hate it, Bells. There's this thing called imprinting…"

I listened intently like a child as he spoke of the mythical wonders. It may have been my current state of mind, but I found it almost like a fairytale.

"You…you turn into a dog?" I asked, disbelieving. He nodded; he didn't like having to turn into an animal. I learned he found it like a curse, something that forced him to live a horrible life.

"I just want to be normal," he whispered to me in one of the moments I wasn't having manic episodes of giddiness. My heart swelled with pity for him.

"You _are_ normal," I argued futilely as he shook his head.

"Bella, I can't be. Not with_ them_ here," he said, his usually pleasant tone going sour. I frowned at him, locking my gaze with him.

"If you're going to be mean about them, Jacob, then I don't want to speak to you."

He grinned widely, ruffling my hair. "Does that mean I'm forgiven for being a 'meanie'?"

I blushed and nodded as he stiffened. Suddenly he stood up, and in a flash he was torn from my gaze. I saw him stalking out of the door, and his actions confused me until I heard _his _voice.

"Hello Bella," an angel's voice called from the far corner of the room. I glanced up, excitement pouring out as I looked into the most beautiful golden eyes in the world.

"Edward!" I cried as he crossed the room to allow me to wrap my arms around his neck.

"E-Edward I'm s-sorry!" I hugged him as tightly as I could. I was sure that he barely felt it, but he pulled back to run a hand through my hair.

"Don't be sorry," he murmured as he grabbed my face in his. His eyes were smoldering, persuasive in their mission to convince me as tears streamed down my face. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"B-but your friend," I moaned as Edward ran a cool hand under my cheek to brush away the tears. He looked in my eyes as he spoke slowly.

"Yes, love, she had been a friend. After she planned to kill you, she was an enemy. I didn't want her to survive, not when her sole purpose in her existence was to cause you harm. But she knew this was coming. She knew from the moment that we showed up that her existence was over. And she wanted me to tell you something."

I glanced at him, and some emotion in my eyes caused him to flinch.

"I want to know," I said slowly, my voice cracking as the last of the tears dried on my face. He shook his head, pushing my shoulders gently on to the mattress.

"You're much too upset now, love," he murmured as he stroked my hair in an attempt to soothe me. I shook my head though, remembering the anguish in her eyes as she had spoken the simple words.

_I'm sorry._

"Tell me, Edward," I said carefully as I looked in his eyes. I made sure that each word rang with sincerity as I spoke.

"Bella…" he said as he looked at me. "Are you sure? I could tell you later, it's really not that big of a deal."

Again, the face rang clear as day in my head. I nodded now, sure.

"Okay," Edward said as he grabbed my cool hand in his. The next sentences seemed more like a letter, and I tried to imagine the girl who had hated me so much over the past month trying to speak these desperate words; trying to convince me to understand.

"'_Bella, I'm sorry. Truly, no matter what, you will never fully comprehend why I did this. It may have been my jealousy, but know that the main reason was fear. I didn't want to die, I didn't want the Volturi to figure out that I knew and told no one. I regret that now, and I could say something, one word to change their mind. I know exactly what I could use to convince them to kill you, even with Edward and the rest of my family here... I'm not going to. You deserve a life, you deserve to live. Please do not hate me, you really are a smart match for Edward. No matter what I've said, you're beautiful and intelligent, and you're not going to do anything to harm us. I see that know, and I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me. By the time you get this, you're going to be healing. Rest, okay? Don't make this for nothing. I'm sorry_.'"

I looked at him in shock, my mouth twitching as I fought for something to say.

"Okay," I whispered finally, more to Tanya than to Edward. He lifted my hands to place one against his cheek as he closed his eyes.

"I kind of miss her," I admitted. It was true; I missed her because I knew that the Cullen family would miss her. Her actions were disastrous, but the years that the Cullens had lived with her must have formed a bond. I knew that this was going to be a hard few months for everybody, even myself. The revelation that she truly cared for me was stunning, surprising. I wished that things had gone differently.

"We're all going to miss her," he said slowly as his eyes met mine, "But you deserve to live. You are worth it, Bella. Don't let anything convince you otherwise. I would do it all again just to make sure that you were happy."

I nodded, saying nothing more as a male nurse came in the room. It had been almost an hour since Jacob had paged the main desk; I guess that's just hospital service for you.

"I was told we need to down the medication?" He said as he looked at me. I glanced over his outfit, mint green scrubs, and sighed in disappointment.

"She's a little emotional," Edward explained as my face grew red with anger.

"I am not!" I shrieked, which caused Edward and the nurse to chuckle.

"Here, this is simply going to drip some water into your I.V. It's going to kind of numb the actual medication, spread it out through your body. You should be feeling a lot more stable in twenty minutes."

I nodded at him while Edward looked at the man in annoyance.

"What is it Edward?" I asked quietly as the nurse started the steady drip of water into the wires connected to my body. I thought of how they got there in the first place and tried not to throw up.

He just shook his head though, running a soothing hand through my hair. When the man was finished, he nodded once and left the room.

"Just buzz again if you need anything," he said quickly before sliding the door closed, probably rushing off to another patient who'd asked for assistance an hour before.

Edward grimaced when he'd gone, looking at me again.

"I love you," he said quietly as he kissed my palm.

"I love you too," I said, "But…"

He looked confused by my words.

"But…?" He prompted gently, his brow furrowed together as he tried to imagine what I could possibly be thinking.

"You have some explaining to do."

Edward ran a hand through his disheveled hair as he looked at the monitor.

"Ask away," he said simply as he slipped his cool hand into mine.

"Why didn't you tell me about Jacob?" I asked, flinching as I tried to shift my weight. My torso couldn't move, and as I looked down I noticed for the first time the cast molded to my hip.

"You never asked," he said, grinning like it was obvious. "I'd have been more than happy to tell you, but you never as much as asked what was up with him. If I knew it was bothering you I'd have let you know." I rolled my eyes, trying to lift a hand to touch the cast molded onto my torso. I couldn't, however, due to the obnoxiously fluorescent lime green cast around my wrist.

"I have a more important question, for now," I mumbled as my cheeks grew warm. He looked at me curiously, brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

"What is it love?" He mumbled, pressing his cool hand to my cheek as he felt the warmth there. He closed his eyes as his fingers trailed their way across my face, tracing patterns there. Before I could be too distracted though, my needs became more pronounced.

"How am I going to go to the bathroom?"

Edward blinked, lost for words before Alice skipped into the room.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she breathed as she began to unplug the mess of wires from my body. "You had no idea how worried we all were when you passed out."

I blushed crimson as she scooped me gently into her arms. I flinched slightly, but I was barely jostled as she slipped us out of the room and into the hallway.

"Let's go," she said as she prattled off about nothing. I was glad she seemed to know that I didn't want to speak about the past few days.

"How long was I out?" I asked curiously as we stepped into the bathroom.

"Oh, just a week or so," she said carefully as the corners of her lips turned up; none of us were truly ready to smile yet. "But don't worry, it really wasn't that bad. You had a few nightmares; caused Edward a lot of anger. We've been…suffering, a little. But we're glad you're alright."

I nodded as she helped me go to the bathroom. When I'd washed my hands carefully she looked me over.

"You're lucky you only have to wear that for three months," she said, "I don't have that many clothes that look good with that."

I looked at her in shock. "Three months? Are you kidding me?"

She shook her head sadly at me, "Nope. The doctors said you were lucky. Most people have to wear it for at least four, but Carlisle decided to try out some new trial medicine." She tapped her forehead with her finger. "It should heal you about a month faster than normal. You're welcome."

I nodded, feeling like I was in a daze as Alice scooped me back into her arms gently and led me back to my room.

--

"Bella, oh Bella thank God!" Charlie cried as he ran into the room. It had been five hours, and Carlisle had insisted that I stay for two weeks to make sure that the initial healing went according to plan. Edward sat next to me, slipping his hand out of mine as Charlie gathered me into his arms.

We'd been over an excuse. It was unreasonable and childish, but fit my personality more than any of the other ones I'd come up with. So when, after the initial joy of my being alright fanned out, Charlie looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"What did you do to get yourself in here?" He asked, still wearing his badge. He sat in the seat next to Edward, their legs inches apart as he looked accusingly at Edward. I'm sure my little goodbye speech the night before hadn't left his mind. He leaned forward, whispering in my ear; he didn't know that Edward's hearing was much better than his, and that he was hearing every word. "Did Edward do this to you? I can kick him out of here, I'll get him out of thi-"

"Charlie," I said, trying to even my voice out. "Edward hasn't done anything to me. We're actually kind of seeing each other…"

This news didn't surprise Charlie, and my shock obviously transferred onto my face as he laughed.

"Bella, you aren't very good at keeping secrets. When Edward told me about their idea for a Christmas present, well… I sort of put two and two together."

"Oh," was my stupid response. Charlie chuckled lightly, but then his eyes narrowed into slits as he stared at me. I gulped, this was one the first time I was truly scared of Charlie.

"Explain."

His demand was sort and simple, but the fatherly tone behind it had me scrambling for words. I paused before I could give away anything and forced myself to tell the lie to Charlie. I could only hope I was good enough.

"Edward and I were going to sneak out," I said, feigning guilt as I looked away from his face. "Well… he was outside of my window, and I was going to crawl down. I kind of… fell, out of the window. Edward tried to catch me, but I tripped over the eave and landed on the ground. He called Carlisle, and they moved me right over here."

Charlie fumed for a long time, ranting about responsibilities and what was right and what was wrong.

"I'm putting a lock on that damn window," he said as he paced the room. Edward was stifling a laugh as I suffered through Charlie's ranting. Suddenly he turned to Edward, pointing a finger at him. "I'm going to install an alarm in that house, and _you_ will stay in your home at night!"

Edward nodded, putting a sincere, apologetic and remorseful frown on his face as he stroked the back of my hand absently. "I know, sir, believe me. If anything, this taught me how ridiculously childish and ungentlemanly I was being, making Bella jump from a window like that!" He tisked at his own behavior. "I assure you sir; that will never, ever happen again."

"It better not," Charlie said gruffly as he shuffled around the room. The angry red had drained from his face now, for which I was glad; we didn't want Charlie to suffer a heart attack.

"It won't need to," Edward mused, staring into my eyes with such love and tenderness my heart began to beat erratically in my chest. Charlie paused, looking at Edward with wary eyes.

"What do you mean?"

He sounded tired, as if his thirty-minute rant had drained him of all of the energy in his body. Or maybe it was waking up to find my empty bed so early in the morning. Guilt rushed through me as I imagined Charlie, shock and fear on his face as he found my empty bed. I imagined him searching the house, calling my name as he ran outside into the early morning sunrise. And worse, what if I _had_ died, and he were to find out that I wasn't coming back?

As I was having this silent revelation to myself, I missed the next words from Edward's lips. Charlie's face went puce, a vein threatening to burst in his neck as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Marriage?!"

I looked at Edward desperately, but he just nodded seriously. Charlie was storming around the room now, and I wished for one moment that I_ had_ died, so I didn't have to face my father's angry glares.

"You can't get married!"

Edward waited patiently for him to calm down, his voice soft and soothing as he spoke.

"Charlie, it wouldn't be for a long while. Her eighteenth birthday, at least. That's almost a year and a half away."

Charlie looked at me, stuttering as he searched for the words.

"Marriage?" He looked at me with childlike eyes as they searched mine for anything to make Edward's words false. I glared at Edward before I spoke slowly.

"Yes, Charlie. I know it's only been four months, and I know that it seems very… soon, but I love him. If, which I doubt, we change our mind, then that's it. We won't get married, we won't do anything. Life will continue, and we can break up. But I'm finally _happy_, Charlie. As happy as I can be. I don't think that I've been truly happy in so long, but after I met Edward, it all got better. I really just want you to say yes, please."

Charlie grumbled, shuffling his foot against the linoleum tiled floor. He looked up at me with guarded eyes.

"I'm not going to say yes," he said as my heart sank, "But I'm not going to say no. I want to see you, I want to see this happiness you're talking about. You have a year and a half to prove that you're worthy for her, Edward. Bells, if I think he's not right for you… I'm going to tell you."

I nodded, but the grin that spread over my face was pure and obsolete.

"I think that's a yes," Edward murmured quietly as Charlie threw his hands in the air.

"No, not a yes!" He cried angrily, but he laughed quietly as I frowned again. "I'm simply saying that I'm watching you."

Nothing could hide Edward's absolute _joy _as he talked quietly with Charlie. It had been a long day for the both of us, and I soon felt relief as Alice skipped into the room with a plate of food. Charlie and I ate while we talked, moving on to less trivial matters. He made sure I was okay again, and then, with regret, left for home. I had kicked him out, really, to get a chance to tell Edward of my dream earlier, and used the sleep excuse to allow him to leave. He finally allowed himself to return home, only after he was sure that Edward was leaving too.

After they left the room, it took twenty minutes for him to return. I grinned when he slid the door shut quietly, returning to his seat beside me in one fluid motion.

"Long day," he commented wryly as he grinned.

"It's always a long day for you," I retorted, but I knew what he meant. I sobered up as the memories of the night before came crashing back down on me.

"You have to change me."

He groaned just as Alice skidded into the room, Jasper quietly by her side as he stood on the opposite side of the room, leaning against a wall.

"Edward I see you trying to argue," Alice said impatiently as she slid onto the bed with me. She curled her arms around my waist, pressing her head against my neck as she spoke to her brother. "It's not going to work. I have to do it, because it has to be done. I know you see that, so stop being so pig-headed and just let it be."

"No," Edward growled. His opinion didn't surprise me, he'd voiced his thoughts many times before. Alice's next words did, though.

"I could change her now," she mused as she glanced up at me. My heart began to race at the prospect; I was eager to join them, but I wanted time. "You wouldn't have to suffer through the annoying months of casts and braces."

I thought about it for a moment, and her words made sense. I was teetering on a dangerous cliff, the tip of a mountain as I thought of both of my choices.

"She wouldn't be well for the wedding," he said carefully through gritted teeth. Alice shrugged, as if this had no effect on her whatsoever.

"We'll postpone it."

It seemed logical to me, but Edward's next words made me freeze in place.

"She'd have to say goodbye to Charlie so soon, and Scott. Not to mention Annabel," he said as he grinned triumphantly at me. He knew he'd won, but his news left my head reeling.

"W-why?" I stuttered. I didn't want to say goodbye, they were my family. I loved them.

"Bella," Edward said gently as he looked at me with understanding, "Being one of us… you never age. You can't just expect to be able to be around them like normal. It wouldn't be possible. We'd move, after your change. Tell them that you and I were going to a college far away. _Maybe_ you'd be able to call, but eventually you'd have to make up an excuse, fight with them, _something_. You wouldn't be able to see them again."

"Oh," I said slowly as I registered this. My face was pale, drained of all color as I thought of this. My next words were shaky and sad, but determined. "I can do it."

I thought of Charlie, thought of the love and compassion that he had for me. I thought of how he cared for me, took me in even in my worst hour, and I grimaced. It would be hard to leave him, but not impossible. Scott, the man who'd taken care of me when my own mother wouldn't, how he smiled and accepted every little flaw of mine in the past years. I would definitely miss him, but I'd survived without seeing him for so long, it seemed natural. Wasn't I supposed to bridge off from my parents eventually, anyways?

But Annabel…

She was so young, so soft and warm and beautiful. I couldn't imagine having to leave her, not when I felt more like a mother to her than a sister. It was an indescribable bond, something hard to imagine. I wanted to protect her, needed to see her.

What was more important to me, my endless, indescribable love for Edward, or my undeniable need to protect and support the young girl that haunted my mind?

I knew the answer immediately, although it tore me in two to have to voice it out loud. I couldn't give Edward up, the thought of it alone was enough to tear my heart into several thousand pieces. Annabel deserved a life of her own, a chance to grow and play. It would be easy for her to have no memory of me, and I could see her from time to time. She would have no idea, but Edward and I could drop in to check up on her. Having no memory of me would be simple, and this fact comforted me. There would be nothing to miss.

"I can do it, Edward," I repeated now, more determined than before. Edward looked at me longingly, and I knew that he would do anything to read my thoughts now, but I shook my head.

"Edward, I simply can _not_ live without you. It's something that I'm not willing to do. And if giving up my family is what it takes, I'm willing to do it."

"See?" Alice said, interrupting my thoughts. Edward followed her mind as she showed him several images of the future, and when he opened his eyes again he looked at me, bewildered.

"You're so selfless," he said as he traced his fingers on my arm. I shivered, but it wasn't from the cold.

"Does that mean you're going to change me?" I asked hopefully as I stared at Alice. She looked at Edward once for approval before she clapped her hands giddily from beside me.

"I don't like this," Edward growled from beside me. I just patted his hands as I glowed at Alice.

"When?" I asked as my heart raced.

"Not until after the wedding," Alice said, nodding as her visions confirmed her thoughts. For the first time since the talk of my changing, Edward grinned.

"I want you to be warm for our wedding," he said, his words sending a trill of excitement down my spine, "I would much rather deal with a Bella with hormones than one that wanted to attack every human in the neighboring area."

I grinned, but it vanished when I realized that I was going to want to kill _people. _Edward looked at Jasper and growled before turning to me.

"Don't let me hurt anybody," I said quietly as Alice slipped her hands from around my waist and gently lifted herself off of the bed. Edward ran his fingers down my cheekbone gently, his eyes determined as they burned into mine.

"I'm not going to let you," he said. I nodded as he brushed the tears away from my face.

I imagined myself, tall and beautiful at last as my hair whipped into the wind. I would be tall, cold and unstoppable. Standing on a ledge, jumping from it, finally stable on my feet as I ran through the woods without a care in the world. All it would take to make me give up my careful, delicate new form of life would be a thin breeze as a man or a woman walked by. So innocent and unsuspecting, my strength would be too much…

"Edward, promise me," I begged him as I shoved the images out of my mind.

"I _promise_," he said fiercely. I felt a wave of calm sink over me as I realized Jasper was using his power. I silently thanked him as serenity filled the room.

"When, then?" I wondered aloud. Edward stiffened. Clearly, he wasn't looking forward to my change.

"Hmm," Alice wondered as her eyes glazed over for a moment. Edward growled, but it was lower this time, more controlled as Alice's eyes opened again. "That I don't know, exactly."

Edward growled again, "Stop blocking me."

Alice shook her head though, as Jasper wrapped his arms around his wife. He looked at Edward apologetically as he dragged Alice out of the room. He whispered something to her, causing her to giggle as she leaned into his embrace. Edward frowned, looking embarrassed as he heard something I couldn't. I blushed though, imagining what could make Edward look away, and sat in silence for a moment after they were gone.

"Are you upset?" I asked quietly after a long, comfortable silence had passed. My blush had faded now, and I glanced at his face out of the corner of my eye.

"No," he said slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully, "I'm not upset. I just wish that… there was a way for me to become human instead. I know that now, this is inevitable. If Aro hadn't been able to touch you…"

I left him to his quiet musings as he held my hand gently. A nurse came in, and he had to hide in the closet. I found this very amusing, and tried hard to stifle my laughter as the woman checked my vitals. A girl laughing in a room by herself wouldn't have made much logical sense, and getting to pay a visit into the psychiatric ward wasn't on my '100 things to do before I become a vampire' list.

After she had gone, Edward came and kissed my forehead softly. I craved his touch, needed him there. It was the first time his lips had touched me in what felt like forever, even though it had only been a day.

"Sleep, love," Edward murmured as he glanced at the clock. "It's almost midnight, and you need your rest."

I glanced at the clock to see that he was right.

"I'm stuck here for two weeks, Edward," I argued. He shook his head, dismissing my petty arguments as he began to hum my lullaby. I found my eyes slipping closed as I fought against the hold of unconsciousness.

"Bella, don't fight it," he said worriedly when half an hour had passed.

"You owe me a free pass."

He glanced at me, searching through our past conversations. Suddenly his eyes lit up with understanding.

"That day…"

I nodded as he clicked the pieces in place. In the car, on the way to meet his family, he'd promised me a free pass. I grinned when I realized I knew just what I was going to ask for.

"They're good for everything," I reminded him as I grinned. He looked at me, wondering what I could possibly be thinking to make myself so giddy.

"How about this," he compromised as he squeezed my hand gently. "How about you go to sleep now, and you actually sleep, and I'll give you two."

I liked this compromise.

"Okay," I agreed easily. This seemed to please him, and he nodded as he began to hum my lullaby.

"G'night Edward," I mumbled. He chuckled lightly, brushing his lips against my hair.

"Goodnight, Bella."

But unlike normal, my dreams were tangled and torn. Dreams of Tanya, her brutal death and savagery as she planned to attack me. Her apology filled my dreams, coloring a different scenario, one where we were friends. A dream of walking with her down the beach, both of us vampires. Her, ruffling my hair as I pushed her into the gentle waves pushing down the shore.

Worse dreams, where the Volturi came back. These dreams had a much worse imagery, more dreadful than even the ones I conjured up in the morning. These dreams, there was no hope, no matter how much I tried to stop them. In the worst, flashes of fighting, I would imagine Edward's fate as he jumped in front of the hungry vampire attempting to attack me.

Edward. A lot of my dreams were of him. I dreamt of myself walking down the aisle, arm linked with Charlie as I stared at the man of my dreams. I imagined him kissing me as I stood there, in a white gown, his arms wrapped around my waist as the guests clapped joyously. Eventually my dreams ran through the after party, to the car ride, and to an indescribable area where my mind imagined us honeymooning. I felt a wave of embarrassment, even in my dreams as I forced myself to skip over to the rest of the week. After that, when I had eternity with Edward, even if it meant giving up so much…

Annabel clouded my thoughts, with her small, fragile being so close to my dangerously burning eyes, red with desire. I watched her age before me, quickly and rapidly, until she was old with a child of her own. I saw her grow as wrinkles creased her forehead, worry lines from all the times she'd reprimanded the young girl of her own. I watched with distress as she grew older still, and eventually, my dreams were nothing but a gravestone, marking the death of the girl I felt such a motherly bond to.

My dreams shifted from joy to regret, happiness to anguish as the dream world swirled around me like a horrible yet completely beautiful movie.

And when I woke I couldn't remember a thing.

* * *

**to those of you who reviewed to that authors note...**

i suppose you cant review to this chapter. that dissapoints me.

still though, PLEASE PM me and tell me what you thought

i'm sick, you guys. but i WILL be working hard and updating as soon as i can, and your reviews will definately encourage me to write faster. so dont think you're out of the woods yet, REVIEW :D

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"There," she said as she stood back. I looked at myself, grinning back up at the woman.

"Oh thank you God!"


	23. Dazes

Big thanks to **Angels for Airwaves**, my beastly beta! She makes me go back and edit, even if I get all *grumble grumble* LOL :D

I'd love to dedicate this chapter to EVERYBODY who reviewed last chapter. Really, there weren't nearly as many. So this chapter goes to **hanaa, laceyndom, Kitten Cullen, Sesshy Rin 4ever, Hello Apple, Suezanne, Angels for Airwaves, and Xxedward'sbellaxX**. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart. This is for you (:

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. (Discluding my own charachters, whom are also fictional. So Stephenie can claim them if she finds them worthy)

**P.S.** WE MADE IT TO 200! I WAS SO EXCITED! THANKS TO EVERYBODY SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU ALL!

* * *

**3 months later**

"Alice this is completely unnecessary!" I said impatiently as she spun me around in the styling chair. She looked at me as if she wanted to ask, 'when is a makeover_ not_ necessary?'

I sighed, allowing her to have her fun as she curled my hair. I was letting my excitement get to me, but it wasn't from Alice's styling skills. I was fairly certain that the entire house could hear the irregular pumping of my heart. Alice looked at me too, a big smile on her face. I rolled my eyes, sensing that she thought my happiness stemmed from the fact that I was sitting in her chair rather than the other thought preoccupying my mind.

"Wouldn't you be excited to if you were getting your cast off?" I asked skeptically as she twirled me around carelessly in the chair. She shrugged.

"I guess so. I'm sure you're glad that Emmett can finally stop scaring you."

I laughed and nodded. The last three months had been horrible for me. Not because of the pain, no, not that at all, but because of the fact that I felt completely and utterly _useless_. I was forced into a wheelchair, since the cast on my arm prevented me from using crutches. As if that wasn't bad enough, however, the entire school was under the impression that I was sneaking out of my window late at night. With Edward Cullen!

The rumors were horrible at first. They didn't find out the way that we'd intended them too, and when I got back to school it was stare after blatant stare. Edward found it amusing, while I just found it highly annoying. He moved us to a separate table in the cafeteria, one away from a lot of curious stares. In those moments, it was okay to be in school.

Edward couldn't hold me very much, either. As if the annoying cast weren't enough to stand in our way, (every time he tried it would make me uncomfortable) but he also took good care not to kiss me too much, saying something about erratic heart beats and safety.

Emmett was bad enough for me anyways.

I tried to point this out to Edward that Emmett's obsessive behavior with me was borderline stalker, but he would just laugh. Emmett wasn't getting on my nerves, however. In the days where Edward was overly cautious about my health, Emmett seemed to know to pop his head in and run around with me. I was never hurt with the Cullens, on the contrary! Even when they ran with me they held me so firmly against their chests that I was barely jostled.

I told this to Emmett one day, that it felt good to be able to move again after being confined into a wheelchair for a month. He had found this hilarious, and proceeded to run me up the side of a mountain. I had been terrified, naturally, and Edward had shown up seething not ten minutes later.

I was still chuckling at the memory as Alice scooped me into her arms and led me down the stairs. She explained about the change of clothes in her car for me, and I nodded offhand as she went into further detail.

"Don't forget, I'm picking you up back here at noon," she said seriously as she looked into my eyes. It was hard not to be afraid of such a small girl when she glared like that.

I suppose she was just bitter.

The last time she had planned a girl's day, Edward began tracing small lines on my arm. I spent half of the day trying to convince him to just kiss me, and we'd both managed to forget about my plans in the process. Edward seething was _nothing _compared to the angry pixie that showed up on my doorstep.

So I nodded as Edward jogged up to the car, my heartbeat galloping naturally in my chest as I stared into his beautiful eyes.

"Hi," I whispered, smiling as he nodded at his sister before crossing over the front of the car. I heard the click of the door as he slid in wordlessly, taking my hand in his as he gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Did you sleep well?" Edward asked as he kissed my hair. I nodded, looking away quickly so he wouldn't see the truth in my eyes.

The family was still healing, each of us in our own ways. Some were easier to heal than others; that is, those that thought that this was right had minds easily mended. The night before, Edward went on a hunting expedition in the large national park in Washington. I'd had a sleepover with Alice, which she found ironic that she couldn't sleep. But nothing could keep the dreams away without his stone cold arms around me.

They were worse, in the beginning. But they were always the same. It was never when he was with me, and I knew it was because he was there, but I was just grateful that was the case. If he heard my screams in the middle of the night, he may never hunt again. The family knew, so when my cries of torment echoed off of the walls, they said nothing to Edward.

Images of Annabel, her gravestone clear in my mind. Aro, hunting down Edward like he was prey. Myself, getting tortured again and again by Marcus.

But then, I would take the third a thousand times before I let anything happen to either Edward or Annabel. They were my life, my whole soul and being.

Jacob and I were getting better, too. When the family would go on a bonding trip, something they did every so often, Jacob would come by and cook dinner. It always ended in disaster, and had us both laughing, but I enjoyed spending the day with him.

When he'd found out about my being changed, though, it had taken me hours to calm him down. He was angry, he said something about a treaty being broken. After he'd stopped shaking, I explained that, if I didn't change, they were going to kill me. Jacob didn't like that, but Alice saw them bringing enforcements, people to make sure the job was done, or else.

I didn't want to think about that now as Edward's hand gripped my own, icy and smooth and wonderful.

"How was hunting?" I asked him casually. He shrugged, turning to look at me with the crooked smile I loved so much.

"It was good, I suppose. I caught a mountain lion." He flashed me his perfectly white, razor sharp teeth then, expressing his point.

"You devilish dog," I said as he laughed.

Soon we were pulling into the familiar building, the one I'd been to so many times these past few months.

Edward chuckled lightly at my enthusiasm as he bent his lips down to press gently against my forehead.

Edward had to leave as the woman slid off the baggy sweatpants from around my waist. She removed the cast, allowing me to wash down and rid myself of the horrible smell. I'd had my cast changed only once before, and I was thankful that I wouldn't have to endure it again. She provided a nice conversation, with decent questions and enough probing about Edward to keep me blushing for a fair amount of time. After I'd had my arm cast removed as well, and washed up there too, she asked me some more questions about my bones.

They were basic, mainly about my diet habits and what steps I was going to take to prevent another fracture. She also lectured me on jumping out of windows, something that I suspected Charlie convinced her to do. Forks was a small town, and it couldn't be that hard to get a word in with the hospital staff. Not when you were Chief of Police, at the very least.

After she was finished, though, Edward was allowed to return to his rightful place beside me. He looked at me, noting the large buldge missing from my side.

"I can stand all by myself," I stated proudly. He grinned, running his fingers down my recently uncasted wrist. His touch didn't pain me, however. His cool fingers brushed against mine with such tenderness that I noted the doctor had tears in her eyes as she watched us.

"Like it?" I said after a moment, when his eyes had turned to my face. He grinned a mischevious grin, his eyes burning with some untold plan.

"I have to admit, it's definitely more fun to be able to do _this_." He swooped me into his arms and spun me in circles, gently twirling me as the doctor watched us with gentle eyes.

"Do you feel any pain?" The nurse asked when I'd been set down. I shook my head, and Edward pressed gently into my thigh with his fingers. Before I had a chance to melt into butter, however, he turned towards the nurse.

"There's little swelling," he informed her, turning back to me seriously. I just grinned at him as I teetered back and forth from left foot to right.

"It's going to take a few days, maybe weeks, to get adjusted to not having the cast," she said. I just nodded, remembering the change of clothes Alice had packed for me. She said I wasn't going to want to wear the same clothes, and I saw why now. They were swollen from the cast.

"I'm going to change," I said quietly after the papers had all been signed. Edward, worrying, went to the car to get me the clothes himself. When he got back and set them in the room with me, gently shutting the door, I unzipped the bag.

"Alice!"

-

"Oh Bella, I honestly don't see the big deal," Alice tittered as she swooped around me. "It's not like you're wearing it _now_."

"Yes, but I was wearing it earlier," I argued as I brushed a stray fuzz off of my arm, "And I'm going to have to wear it when we leave here."

I spun in a small circle, tripping over my feet as I stumbled into Esme's cool waiting arms.

"Here you go dear," she said soothingly as she placed me carefully onto my feet. I reached a steadying hand on her shoulder as I looked into the full length mirror in front of me.

"Oh! Not this one," Alice said excitedly, dancing to the middle of the store. She came back with a bag, and I, too scared to check the price, stumbled into the changing room. In a flash she had torn my clothes away, somehow being gentle in the process, and left me standing there in only my undergarments. I sat in the chair as she hung the dress gently on the rack.

"Hurry," I said quickly as she laughed. I simple scowled; she couldn't feel the cold blowing from the air conditioning like I could. It was a warm April, and the stores had all turned on the air to full blast as if we were going to die of heat stroke.

"Be patient, you'll love this one."

She slipped me into the dress gently, pulling me out to stand in front of Esme. Rosalie glanced up from her magazine, and an appreciative smile lit her face as she glanced at the dress.

"I might have to borrow that one when I get married again," she said offhandedly as she turned back to her magazine. She and I were becoming friends slowly, nothing at all like the friendship that I had with Alice as she buzzed around me. Esme's cool hands were pressed gently over my eyes, shielding me from viewing the gown.

"Alice, this is completely unnecessary," I repeated for the second time that day. I almost imagined her rolling her eyes as she flattened the gown carefully.

"Nonsense, Bella," Alice said determinedly as she gripped my hand gently. My eyes were still covered, but I imagined the sparkle in her eyes as she spoke, her excitement floundering to the surface. "You're going to be getting married!"

I rolled my eyes as a small smile lit my face. "Not for almost a year," I pointed out delicately.

"I don't care; you're going to love this. And I already have my dress picked out. Rosalie and Angela will be wearing the same. You'll just have to be surprised. Ready?"

I nodded carefully as Esme's hands slid away from my face. I glanced into the mirror instantly, their faces gauging my reaction to the white gown I was wearing.

White for purity.

Edward and I had talked about this no more than a month ago. After the careful restrictions he'd placed up with simply kissing me, I wasn't surprised to find that he had even stronger opinions on the thoughts of a more physical relationship with me. He said he wouldn't risk it, not until after I was changed. I didn't think that I'd be ready for such a connection until after marriage anyways, because anytime I thought of it, I imagined my mother, pregnant before marriage. I didn't want to have anything in common with her, although I didn't resent Annabel for being alive; I was ecstatic, to the contrary. But neither of us wanted to cross that delicate line so soon.

So we had come to the agreement for purity before our wedding night.

As I turned to the mirror though, my heart stopped.

It was a simple enough gown for me, something practical and useful. Alice had her bit of extravagant attire as I looked closer. Delicate lace outlined the lower portion of the dress, creating breathtaking spirals and loops as the beads twirled in an elegant dance. The top was strapless with more elegant lace and decorative loops lined the top. There wasn't a train, because Alice saw that it was going to be a crisp but dry autumn day when we had the wedding. But the dress alone was enough to take my breath away.

It was beautiful. It was stunning. It was more than I'd ever imagined.

"It's too much!" I growled as I stared at the price tag. There was no way I was going to be able to pay for this. "Why would you take me to a store where every dress is too overpriced? I can't afford this stuff!"

"Bella," Alice chirped as she wrapped an arm around my waist. She laid her head gently on my shoulder as she snuggled into my side. "We're not going to make you pay for this, obviously."

She paused for a second, and then she glared at me through a film of her jet black, spiky hair.

"Don't try that card, Bella," she hissed. I rolled my eyes; her angry act didn't fool me for long. I knew she couldn't truly stay mad at me anyways. Within moments she sighed contentedly as she stared at us in the mirror.

"It's going to be so beautiful," she said, almost to herself. I heard Esme's chuckle as she came to stand beside us.

"Yes, a true blushing bride!" Esme exclaimed, her and Alice laughing at the joke. As if to prove their point, a faint pink hinted itself at the surface of my pale complexion. "We haven't seen one of those in a very long time."

I smiled at my future mother; the woman who seemed so much like a mother to me already.

"I'm happy to be of service."

-

After I arrived home, I waited anxiously for Edward to arrive. I hadn't seen him in almost six hours, as the girls decided a day out would be good for all of us.

Ha. As if.

I changed out of the dress Alice had so _generously_ provided me with earlier and slipped into comfortable jeans and a t-shirt.

I said hello to Charlie, who examined my waist carefully to make sure that there wasn't any bruising. I knew, of course, that there wouldn't be. Esme and Alice had made me be especially careful on it today.

After Charlie grumbled about dinner and his hunger, I decided it was time to feed him. I got out the pots and pan, the loud noise clattering together as they smashed against the stove. I went for some simple spaghetti,

The doorbell rang, and I greedily abandoned my station at the oven to answer the door quickly. I made sure to turn off the stove, however, because last time I left something unattended Charlie had taken it to himself to watch over it, and the house had nearly burnt down.

"Hey," I said to Edward as he wrapped his arms quickly around my waist. He pulled me close to him, breathing in my scent as he kissed my hair.

"Missed you," I said as he pulled me away to inspect for damages. He looked irritated slightly, and I eyed him suspiciously. "What is it?"

He shook his head quickly, looking sheepish as he bent his lips down to meet mine. As distracting as that was, I forced myself to pull away from him.

"Edward, tell me," I said softly as he hugged me to him. He _did_ look suspicious, I finally decided.

He gave in after a moment, shrugging.

"Alice wouldn't let me into her head, that's all," he said casually as his fingers traced patterns on my cheek. I tried to remember what I was supposed to be doing, when his words slowly clicked in place.

"You were trying to see me in the wedding dress?" I guessed, shocked that he would do such a thing. His expression was like that of a boy getting caught doing something bad, but he simply shrugged his shoulders as he continued tracing lines across my cheekbone.

"Can you really blame me?" He said innocently as an angelic smile lit his face. I found myself shaking my head no, agreeing with him simply because of his smile.

"Yes!" I contradicted myself quickly, causing him to chuckle lightly.

"Yes or no, love?" He murmured as he brought his lips to mine.

"Uh… yes?" It sounded more like a question, but I couldn't help it. I could feel his smile against my lips as he spoke softly.

"That's what I thought."

It was quiet for a moment as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly against him. I didn't see how it would ever be even imaginable to be separated from him. Being apart from him for just those few hours was near torture, and I'd been surrounded by my future family and best friend.

"I'm hungry," Charlie grumbled as he walked past, shuffling his feet. I bit back a laugh as I took Edward's hand in mine and led him into the kitchen.

Edward was a surprisingly good cook, and all of Charlie's former irritation vanished as he dug in to the plate of spaghetti placed in front of him. He knew Edward didn't eat much, because Edward rarely 'ate' when he came over. Charlie had grown accustomed to it.

"Yum," Charlie said as he cleared the dishes. That was a rarity; he must really have liked the dinner.

He led us into the room naturally, as was routine. He took his spot in the large chair in front of the television, a beer in his hand as he flipped on the television. I sat down with Edward on the couch; this was routine too.

We settled in to watch a basketball game. Edward and Charlie talked naturally; the flow of conversation with them never seemed to end. I secretly wondered if it was because Edward knew exactly what to say, since he could simply read his thoughts. Not only that, but Alice told him the outcome of every game beforehand, so it was Edward that seemed like the psychic.

"You know, the Celtics are set to win this one," Edward commented as, sure enough, the Celtics sank a three pointer only fifteen seconds into the game.

"Yea, sure," Charlie grumbled as Edward chuckled lightly. I curled against his stone chest, burying my face against his light blue shirt. Charlie acted like he didn't enjoy it when we showed affection towards each other, but he accepted it as it was. After all, we were planning on getting married. Of course, Charlie had no idea of the other, life altering things we had planned. And if he did...

"Well it's true," Edward said, almost as though he was answering my thoughts. Charlie just mumbled something incoherent as Edward wrapped his arms more tightly around my waist.

"I love you," he murmured with his lips next to my ear. It was much too easy to ignore Charlie's stare- he all but melted away when I looked into Edward's warm, butterscotch eyes.

"I love you, too," I said. Edward bent to meet my lips with his when suddenly he stiffened. His eyes widened, and he hugged me tightly against his chest.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and I tried to break Edward's grasp.

''Let me go, Edward!" I said, laughing as Charlie gave us a warm look. He quickly covered it with a look of irritation. Edward had told me in secret one day that he enjoyed watching us interact. It proved to him that I was healing. Not only from my mother, but from the other things he didn't know about. Tanya, for instance…

To my surprise, Edward stood with me as we walked to the door. He gave me a look I couldn't understand before he yanked it out of our way.

In front of me stood two people. A man and a woman, both dressed in formal blue outfits as they looked at me curiously. For some reason, the woman stared at me tenderly; her face broke suddenly from the emotionless mask she had fixed on her dark features. She looked at me with pity before she smoothed over the mask once more, her next words very stiff and forced.

"Isabella Swan?"

I nodded slowly as I tried to put together what she was doing here with this strange man.

"My name is Jane Palmer, and this is my colleague Joe Stevenson."

"Hello," I greeted them slowly, glancing at the two of them. They seemed friendly enough, but Jane's face was torn. She glanced at Joe, who wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"She's so young," I heard her murmur quietly, probably not for my ears to hear. I glanced at Edward, who was standing as still as stone beside me. His hands were laced with mine, and I motioned to him as I glanced back at the woman and man.

"This is my fiancée, Edward Cullen," I said slowly. The woman shook gently in the man's arms, and she turned her face away from me as she tried to compose herself. "I'm sorry…do I know you?"

Edward motioned for them to step inside, and as they did so I noticed something I couldn't believe I'd missed before. A tiny child, wrapped tightly in the man's arms. I gasped, not completely putting together the puzzle in front of me. Joe spoke next, in a very professional tone. He was frowning though, as he glanced at the child in his arms. The woman, Jane, hovered by the doorway, her hands delicately over her face as she turned away from us.

"We're from child services, and we are terribly sorry to inform you that Annabel Smith is parentless. You are her sister, and the only living relative she has." He glanced at the woman by the door once more before he drew in a quivering breath, pulling back the thin blanket to reveal the face of the most beautiful angel. He looked back at me suddenly, his voice detached.

"These are your options."

* * *

**a:n/ **sorry to leave you all there, but I've had a drop in reviews. I'm going to be able to update daily, I'm planning on seeing a doctor. But, that's all up to you and your reviews, of course.

**TWENTY REVIEWS!**

So do you want another chapter on Saturday morning? I'm asking for 20 reviews, guys. I know it's a lot, but if you put your mind to it, I know you can do it. Just show me a little love guys! You already know how much I love you all :D

* * *

**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"Edward...I don't know if I can," I whispered hoarsly as he wiped a tear from my eye. His face was pained- he'd truly grown to love this girl too.

"W-Why?" He stuttered, his eyes opening wide with shock.


	24. Arrangements

Big thanks to my beta **Angels for Airwaves**!

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **paper plates**, **Jessie** and **ifurcuteitsbyme**. Thanks for reading the whole thing and telling me how late you stayed up Jessie! lol, i loved that! Not to mention paper plates and ifurcuteitsbyme, for telling me how great this story is. Thats really nice of you. Enjoy your dedication!

**Disclaimer:** I own almost nothing, it's 99% Stephenie Meyers. :D

* * *

My world was shattered.

Was somebody playing a sick, twisted joke on me?

I couldn't do anything as blank and overwhelming shock set in. I glanced desperately at the man standing with the baby in his arms. No. This couldn't be happening.

Edward caught me as I collapsed into his arms. I couldn't spare him a glance as my eyes settled on the baby. Without a thought, I steadied myself and threw my arms around the bundle quickly as I cradled her against my chest. It was second nature, something that felt so natural.

"W-what?" I stuttered as I glanced at Annabel, sleeping with her fingers against my chest.

"Please, sit."

It surprised me that Edward was leading them to the living room, gesturing towards the large couch in front of me. Jane and Joe sat stiffly as they watched me with wary eyes. Jane still wouldn't look at me, and I saw a silver glistening as a tear slid down her cheek. Edward sat me on his lap as he stroked my arm gently, both of us staring at the small girl in my arms.

"What happened?" Edward asked, almost as if he could read my thoughts. I couldn't speak; my throat seemed to have closed as I buried my face against Edward's chest. I was sure I was staining his shirt, but he didn't even flinch as he pressed me tighter against him. He was my safe harbor, my strong hold against the horrible reality that was slowly sinking in around me.

"The police received a call of distress last Wednesday. It was incomprehensible, and after we reviewed the tapes several times there was still little to be found. Medical recruits were sent out to the house. There… was a lot of chaos in the house." His voice was professional and monotone as he said the words that crumbled my life so completely. But I noticed that it wavered a bit, and he coughed slightly as he smoothed out his suit.

"We suspected a robbery, but there was blood all over. The… well, the body was never found," he said quickly as I stuttered for words.

"B-but…he's…Sc-…Scott!" A sob escaped my body as Edward's hands stroked my arm repetitively as he shook his head sadly.

"We are terribly sorry," he said as he glanced at Jane, "More than most. Every story is tragic, but I really feel like you're too young. We understand your anguish in this time."

I nodded, not really hearing him as I shook with silent sobs.

"Being so young," he continued, "We would like to propose a few options. This is not a guilt session, Isabella. We are simply here to provide you with facts and alternatives."

I didn't have enough energy to nod. Scott! I loved that man, he was my father. He was a man who had stood by me, comforted me, even after my mother attempted to murder his child. He cared for me as much as Annabel, and I'd seen the love shining in his eyes as he stared at her. His smile, so warm, as he told us to call him Scott that day on the beach. Everything about him signaled a perfect father, a perfect husband. Why? Why did this have to happen to such a great man?

It was amazing to think that at one time I hadn't liked him very much. To think that I'd been angry at him for trying to steal my mother. He was more of a man, more caring and kind, more warm and loving than anybody I'd ever known.

And now he was gone.

Whoever had killed him hadn't even had the dignity to leave his body. Brutally savaged like that, his blood left and his body missing.

I moaned as tears streamed down my face.

"Why?" I asked with wide eyes as I stared at Edward. He looked as though, if he could, he would be crying as well.

"We've…heard of your past," Joe said quietly. I didn't care, though, because all that mattered was Scott. He was gone, and I was left sitting here without a clue of what to do with myself. It surprised me how much I missed him now, although I'd survived months without him before. It must have been the sinking realization that I was never going to see him again, to be unable to hug him.

"Well, we've seen how much you've been through," Joe said. He laced his fingers together as he twiddled his thumbs. He looked up at me, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Just let me know when you're ready to talk."

It was quiet as I stared at the lovely child in my arms. I loved her, it was true. I loved her more than air and the sun, more than the sky, moon, and every passing second of my life. I only wished, more than anything, that I could give her Scott.

I stroked her cheek gently as she stirred in my arms. She didn't wake, however.

A single tear fell down my face and landed on her delicate pink cheek. How had she managed to be as unfortunate as I?

"You missed an… extraordinary man," I whispered as my voice cracked softly. She seemed to understand, because a soft pucker fell over her delicate lips.

After a moment I had myself more composed.

"Just get this over with," I whispered as Edward pulled me more tightly against his chest. I welcomed the cool temperature, because I knew that it meant that he was going to be with me throughout everything.

"Okay," Joe said after he examined my expression once more. "You're seventeen, Isabella. You're barely an adult yourself. And you said you have plans for marriage, yes?"

Edward and I nodded at the same time. Joe just continued with his speech, staring at my hand curiously. I'd never gotten a ring, because I told Edward that I didn't want one. After a lot of arguing on my part, he gave up the fight. I slid my sweater over my hand now, covering the ring-less finger.

"I can tell you the options, as usual. As her sister, you can declare adulthood prematurely. We'll go over your files and you'll be able to keep her as your own. Another option is to give her back to us now, and we'll leave with her. We'd find her a good home, one with a caring family. You could be sure of this."

I looked at the girl in my arms desperately. What on earth could I do to make sure she was safe?

"Can we…have a minute?" I whispered. Joe nodded and took Annabel from my arms as he handed her to Jane. She sniffled and took her into her arms, rocking her gently. Edward stood, scooping me into my arms as I sobbed against his chest. We passed the living room, where Charlie was sitting in the chair still. When he saw me, his eyes widened with shock as his eyes narrowed at Edward accusingly.

"Charlie, please go into the other room," Edward said quietly as he jerked a thumb towards the room by the door. Charlie looked confused, but his face paled as he shuffled into the den where Jane and Joe were sitting. He knew that something had to be very wrong.

Edward carried me to the couch as I gripped my arms around his waist tightly.

"Why?" I asked again. I felt helpless, and Edward rocked me back and forth slowly as he shook too.

"Edward, why did life have to be so cruel?" I asked quietly as Edward reached a hand over gently to wipe the tears away from my eyes.

"I thought he was invincible. I thought... I never imagined that he could allow this to happen. Edward, I want justice. I need it. Who could take away such a wonderful man like that?" My voice shook, and I whimpered as I tried not to focus on the image of his tiny house, torn up in destruction. "Edward, I have to know who did this."

Edward nodded, his eyes fierce as mine. "We will, Bella. We'll find him, I promise you."

"Good," I said. I could imagine it now. I could see myself in a year, standing over Scott's killer. Beautiful and powerful. His murderer wouldn't stand a chance against us. I felt strange, sick as I thought of it. I wanted justice in some form, even if it meant just getting the man locked into jail.

"Do you want her?" He asked seriously after a moment. I'd composed myself enough. I nodded slowly, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Then _take_ her," he said softly, his eyes distressed as he watched me, helpless.

"But…" I stopped suddenly, wiping another tear away from my face.

"But what, love?" He murmured, "Why don't you just take her?"

"Edward...I don't know if I can," I whispered hoarsely as he wiped a tear from my eye. His face was pained- he'd truly grown to love this girl too.

"W-Why?" He stuttered, his eyes opening wide with shock.

I swallowed against my swollen throat as Edward rocked me gently in his arms. I looked at him, carefully choosing my words as to not upset him.

"I want her to have a choice," I said quietly as I imagined her life in front of me, "She deserves a real life. And me… you… we won't be the _same_. We won't be able to cradle her without worrying about breaking her. She'll grow up wondering what we are, and eventually I'll have to leave her. I don't think that I could bear to leave her curious. It would be too hard to leave her, and eventually I'd be tempted to change her, too. I don't want to leave her without a choice."

Edward looked at me with a staggering amount of love in his eyes. He squeezed my shoulders gently as his eyes burned into mine.

"I understand. But…"

"But what, Edward?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly as torment crossed his features.

"Are you sure that you still want to be changed?"

I gaped at him, shocked by his words. Tears welled in my eyes again as I looked at him.

"Of course!" I said quickly. "Is there any way? For me to keep her?"

Edward was silent for a moment before he shook his head slowly.

"I don't think that… that that would be possible. After our wedding, you have to be changed immediately."My heart shattered in my chest as I stared at his beautiful face. I knew that I couldn't live without him. There had been a time when I'd known that I would have to live without Annabel, and I'd faced it. But now she was so innocent, so unprotected and young. She needed me now, and it felt like I was a traitor as I imagined returning her to the man and woman sitting in the other room.

"I'm so sorry, love," he said, his voice thick as he brushed his fingers along my face. "You have no idea. I would understand if you decided to…leave. It would be okay; I would be able to realize where you were coming from. But you couldn't keep her when you're a vampire; the chance of you killing her in your first few years is much too great. So think, love. Think about what I'm saying. I wouldn't…hold it against you, if you decided not to be with me anymore."

I hugged him tightly against me with as much human strength as I could muster.

"Edward, no," I said as tears streamed down my face. "So many people have left me…I don't… don't leave."

"I only want you to be happy," he said desperately as he looked at me again. "And if she's what you want…"

Suddenly an idea occurred to me. It was so simple, so pure, and gave me a way to have everything I wanted. I knew that, in time, I would have to give her away. I imagined Scott, his large grin on his face as I mentally told him my idea. I pictured him giving me a hug, wrapping one of his strong arms around me as he whispered to me.

_Do what you need to, Bella. _

"We'd have to give her up eventually," I said quickly as I ran through the idea in my head, "But we could make sure that she was happy. We have a year until the wedding, Edward. Can we keep her until then, and search for a family that would make her happy? Can we do that, Edward? I know that after the wedding I'll have to tell her goodbye, and I know it'll be hard, but I also know that we can do it. Just tell me it's possible, please?"

He looked at me then, and smiled softly.

"I think that we could arrange that," he said slowly. "We'd have to ask Alice, of course. She could help us look into the future, to see what they would be like. After you're…practiced, we could go visit her. Not for very long, of course. She wouldn't recognize us, and we would have to hide. But I think that, for the next year, which would be very possible. Are you sure though, that this is what you want? I feel as though you're giving up the only chance to be a mother that you'll ever get."

I thought of Scott again, and realized that I had to do this for him. He wouldn't have wanted anything other than this, to have me with her, finding her a home with a loving mother and a caring father.

"Yes, Edward, I'm sure," I said as I stood gingerly and stretched. I felt my spine crack from stress as I turned from one way to the other. "I can see it Edward; I can see that this is what he wants. It would be so simple."

Just as I was thinking through this plan, Charlie stumbled into the room.

"I'm so s-sorry," he said as he came crashing down on me. I was wrapped into his arms, and, fully aware now of what was happening, I cried.

--

"Jane," I said softly. They were extremely good people. They had stayed for hours, and she had eventually fallen asleep. I felt guilty for crying for so long, and I was shocked when Charlie had started to cry too. He'd said that it was because life wasn't fair to me, and that had only made me cry harder.

I was lucky though. I had Edward, a true love. That alone was more than most people got in a lifetime, and in one year, I would spend forever with him.

The countdown to the wedding was both splendid and horrifying at the same time. Because now, in one year, I would have to give up Annabel.

"Jane," I said again, shaking her shoulders slightly. She mumbled something, but soon her eyes flashed open quickly as she jumped into a sitting position.

"Oh my!" She said as she glanced around the room, "I'm so sorry about that."

"It's okay," I said as Joe entered the room and sat beside her. He rubbed her shoulders gently as she flattened out her uniform. "I just wanted to tell you what option we've chosen."

Jane nodded as she crossed her ankles delicately. Charlie had already grown attached to the little girl, and when we'd told him the plan, he'd looked slightly confused. Although he nodded and allowed me to tell him more of my plans, probably in an attempt to make sure I wasn't going to cry.

"Go ahead," Joe said professionally. Edward came in the room then, coming to sit beside me

"Edward," I whispered as he kissed my hair gently, "Edward, tell them please."

Edward nodded as he took my hand in his own, kissing my palm in reassurance as he twisted our fingers around. I knew he was suffering too; he couldn't stand my pain, just like I couldn't focus if he was hurting. It was a mutual relationship; each hold benefited us both. Every kiss made us fall more in love. Every suffering made us ache. Every tear forced our hearts to suffer with sorrow.

"We've discussed it," Edward said, his voice smooth and beautiful, "And we would like to come to a compromise. Bella and I are set to get married in one year and two months, and after the wedding, we won't be able to take care of her any longer. We only have a small amount of funds saved up, but we can fully support her for the next year or two. What we would like, however, is the opportunity to keep her for a year. Bella and I would both rest easier if she could be with her sister for a while. I think that coping would be much better if Bella had her sister and knew she was going to be in a safe home."

Joe nodded as he pulled out a briefcase. "I understand where you're coming from in this situation, but what do you propose happens to her afterwards? Are you just going to give her back? That's not going to be an option, no matter how much pity I feel. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't let you return her. A child is not a toy; you can't just pick her up when you feel the urge. They need a secure home. Even a child this small is going to notice the changes in the next few days."

"We fully understand that," Edward said patiently as I tried to open my mouth to speak. I couldn't, though, and shut it again quickly. Charlie was hovering in the corner, saying the few words he could muster. He'd never met Scott, but he still saw the beautiful baby that he was holding in his arms. The realization that this tiny child, so warm and helpless, didn't have a home, well, it was staggering.

"What we're proposing is the chance to find a home for her ourselves. Over the next year, we're going to look for a family. We're going to interact with them throughout the year, getting to know them, learning about them and their habits, what their jobs are. We would find her a warm, loving family in a year, and we would be able to put more time into it than you both can. We would make sure that she had a safe environment and a stable economic household, not to mention one where the parents would care for her more than the world. Bella and I love this little girl, sir. We're not going to just allow anybody to take her. She's not a toy, you're right on that. She's a crystal gem."

Joe nodded, "You'd have to adopt her for the year, however."

Edward just looked at Charlie, who was smiling softly at the child in his arms. "Charlie, I am more than willing to do this for her. In fact, I'm eager. However, this is your house, and I'm not the man of the house. So this decision is really up to you."

Charlie looked at me quickly, then back at Annabel. "I don't really think I have a choice, do I?"

I couldn't find the energy to smile, although my heart clenched. Annabel really was wrapping everybody around her finger. She let out a distressed cry suddenly as she turned in Charlie's arms. Her small fists pounded futilely against his arm as her eyes whipped around to meet mine.

It was shocking to notice that her eyes were no longer the brilliant blue they had been before. They were a mixture of green and chocolate brown, and the color was so mind boggling that I couldn't find a way to describe it. They appeared endless, and I wondered how a girl so young could look so intently at me. Before I had any more time to stare at her eyes, she looked back at Charlie and cried.

"Hush," Charlie cooed gently as he started to rock her. It was more of a desperate bouncing, and she continued to wail. Charlie looked at me, and without another thought I reached my hands out. He set her in my arms as she flipped around to make herself more comfortable. Then she reached a hand up and tapped my face gently.

She let out a shriek as her eyes lit up, and she _smiled_ at me.

"Hi baby," I said softly as I stroked her hair. I whispered to her, having my own private conversation. "You're going to have a good home. Even after you leave, okay? I promise you Annabel. I'm going to find you a good home."

She smiled again, grabbing my nose with her fist. I let out a short laugh as she tugged on it, and when I didn't respond the way she wanted to she pouted.

"I guess that's a thing you and daddy used to do, huh?" Edward said quietly as he looked over my shoulder. Her eyes lit up, and she grinned. Edward reached a cool finger over tentatively to touch her cheek, and she let out a giggle at his frozen hands.

I realized something then.

"Can you…can you read her mind?" I whispered. Joe and Jane were watching our interaction intently, looking for any signs that we would be bad parents, I assumed.

He nodded as he stroked my arm. "It's…difficult. Mostly it's emotions, and there's a lot of color. But you're in there, and so am I. Scott…well, he's there a lot. Her thoughts are confusing about him though. I can't figure it out. She likes you a lot, Bella. She loves you."

I smiled softly at the girl in my arms. I looked back at Joe, who was sitting in the chair as he watched our exchange. "What papers do I have to sign?"

-

The next few hours consisted of signing a lot of papers, and by the time we were finished getting quizzed and drilled by the man and woman, I thought my head was going to explode. They asked about school, any jobs, and babysitters.

"We're going to have our last year of school next year," Edward had said, "But my mother stays at home. She would be more than happy to watch her during the day. And if not, my father is a doctor, and he has a steady income. I've already talked to him, and he has said that we could borrow money from them and pay them back after we've given Annabel to a good home."

I was running up the around the house now as Edward followed behind me. We were trying to find a makeshift bed, and Charlie heard my distress.

"What do you need, Bells?" He asked as he glanced at me running around the house desperately.

"A cradle, a bunch of pillows, anything!" I yelled desperately as I glanced at the living room. Jane and Joe would be rooming with us for the week, to make sure that everything was going according to plan. Charlie's face warmed as he lifted a finger to me. I obeyed and sat still for the first time all night, watching him run up the stairs.

"You're doing great," Edward's voice murmured in my ear. I sank into his hold, closing my eyes as his scent washed over me.

"I wish I could be doing better, though," I said as I thought of Annabel, waiting patiently in the other room as Jane held her. "She's just a beautiful baby, and I feel like I won't be able to make her as happy as she can be. I know we're not going to have any problems with finances, and I know that Esme's more than willing to watch her during the day. But I'm worried about after the wedding. I love her, Edward. I want to make sure she has a good home."

My voice shook as Edward kissed my hair gently. "You're going to do great, Bella. We're going to give her the best possible home, I promise you. One where the parents want her, need her, to survive. You know that I'm not going to settle for anything less."

I nodded as Charlie came back in. He smiled softly, tugging my hand gently as Edward followed us into the living room. Charlie waved a hand proudly to the cradle sitting in the middle of the room.

"It's pink," he said sheepishly as he pointed to the beautifully carved cradle, "But I figure that's not a big deal. It should balance nicely in your room. It was yours, when you were a baby. I never really… I never really had the heart to throw it out."

I brushed a tear away from my eye as I hugged Charlie. "Thank you dad."

"C'mere baby girl," I said to Annabel as I scooped her out of Jane's arms. She grinned, patting my face gently as she traced her fingers around my nose. I noticed, with joy, that we shared that trait. Her eyes were still more stunning than mine, however. I rocked her gently as I set her into the cradle. Her eyes were heavy, I noticed, and I began to hum gently as she closed her eyes and succumbed to sleep.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist again, and he took over humming my familiar lullaby gently as we watched over the sleeping baby.

I hadn't spared the clock a glance, but I didn't need to for the moment. I looked at Charlie, knowing that my next words would probably cause a panic attack.

"It's late," I said slowly as Charlie nodded. "Edward and I don't want to leave her. I don't think that he can. Can he stay, please?"

Charlie's face turned red with anger as he opened his mouth. Suddenly, watching us stand over the baby, something in him softened. The red drained slowly from his face as I hung on his every breath. After a moment he looked at me, and his eyes held the authority that he rarely used.

"If his mother says yes," he said slowly. I nodded, but Charlie wasn't finished.

"But he's sleeping on the couch."

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a:n/ i figured you guys deserved it, being with the great amounts of reviews you gave me.

constructive criticism **IS** appreciated!

_20 reviews for an update tomorrow!_

**please do not ask this question! **IS EDWARD HER PARENT TOO? the answer to that is **NO**. legally, Bella is the sole guardian of Annabel, although Edward is going to quickly become a fatherly figure to her. But he didn't adopt her, because he will not be living with her until the wedding. I hope I did okay with that, if I messed anything up, please excuse it. My field is going to be psychology, and I don't have a lot of practice with child services, so please just pretend thats how it goes. :D

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"See, nothing's wrong here," Edward said gently as I stared at the cradle. I swept my eyes around the room quickly, tracing my fingers along the pictures hanging on the wall. I turned to him, my eyes searching his as I tried desperately to make him see what I was.

"How do you not feel this?" I asked quietly, "Something's wrong."

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	25. Just Love

Big thanks to my beta **Angels for Airwaves**, you're amazing! Sorry your movie sucked ):

i'd love to dedicate this chapter to **vampiresrunwithme**, for your amazingly spectacular compliment. you made my day (:

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and all of her spectacular abilities as a writer!

* * *

I was having a bit of a time trying not to panic.

It was so crazy to realize that she was my responsibility. I honestly had no idea that being a mother raised such challenges. I loved her still, more than before, probably. Her smile was bright and warm, and her eyes swam with knowledge when she looked into my eyes. I couldn't believe it had only been a week.

Jane and Joe had left in the afternoon, saying their polite goodbyes and letting me know that they'd be checking in at random. I knew it was for her safety that they did this, so I didn't mind. Jane talked more and more throughout the week, and she'd even spoken to me a few times about school. Esme had taken to coming over during the day, and had quickly fallen in love with Annabel. Esme was worried that Annabel would be scared of her at first, fear her because of the cold temperature, but Annabel liked Edward, and so she didn't mind Esme's touch.

Esme was delighted.

To my horror, they were coming over on Saturday to visit as a family. That gave me three days to be alone with Annabel before they met, and fell in love with her too. I'd seen Alice at school, but she'd been distant. She was smiling and laughing, telling me that she saw a lot of things in her visions that she liked. Edward told me she was just going through a planning phase. I decided I didn't want to know.

Rosalie was changing her moods quickly. Edward tried to explain that it was because she was excited about Annabel. She hadn't had a chance to have a baby before she was changed, although she wanted one desperately. She was jealous again, and I figured that Saturday I would let her know she could come over whenever she wanted. I had no aversion to sharing, as long as I got to spend the next few days with her by myself.

But I was still worried about her. The panic when she'd cry late at night, waking me up. I was thankful that Edward stayed in my room still, and it was even more convenient that he didn't sleep. Annabel liked him a lot, and sometimes when she would cry he would let me sleep. The only times he would wake me was when she wouldn't settle for him.

I would take her in my arms, hugging and kissing her until she stopped crying. Edward could read her mind fairly well. He said she was very intelligent, and thought with pictures of objects. During the day, it made it extremely easy to determine what she wanted. But at night, with her thoughts jumbled from sleep, it was more difficult.

I had a surge of panic for no reason as I thought of her. It was late, and Edward and I had been sitting in my room talking quietly. I jumped up, dragging him downstairs as the same terror shot through me. Edward grew impatient and sped down the steps until we were standing over her cradle. He let me down, his senses trying to pick up on anything.

"See, nothing's wrong here," Edward said gently as I stared at the cradle. I swept my eyes around the room quickly, tracing my fingers along the pictures hanging on the wall. I turned to him, my eyes searching his as I tried desperately to make him see what I was seeing.

"How do you not feel this?" I asked quietly, "Something's wrong."

Edward looked at me with cautious eyes. He smiled softly as he stroked my cheek gently.

"Bella, love," he said softly as we both looked at the cradle. Annabel lay there, breathing deeply as she slept. "I think you're a little stressed. Everything is fine."

I believed Edward. I trusted him so completely. He wouldn't say such reassuring words to me if there was something to be afraid of. I knew this, and yet I couldn't shake the feeling rising in my chest. I didn't know what was off, but something felt strange.

"Do you need me to convince you?" Edward asked as his cool breath washed over my face, stunning me.

"Not in front of _Annabel_," I whisper-shouted as I glanced at the sleeping baby. Edward chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist while he trailed kisses down my neck.

"Well there's absolutely nothing here to see," Edward murmured against my neck, a smile playing on his lips, "Except for a _beautiful_ baby. But just outside of this door is the opportunity to kiss your loving and wonderful boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes, covering my mouth with my hand as I stifled a giggle. I couldn't control my heartbeat that began to race in my chest, however, as the idea became more and more entertaining.

It only took me less than a minute to give in.

He pulled me against his chest as I wrapped my hands around his neck. I reached one hand up to feel his bronze hair in between my fingers as his lips tangled with mine. My heart was beating erratically, and he pressed himself tighter against me as he felt my heartbeat against his own. He told me once that it made him feel like he had a heartbeat too, and I certainly didn't mind his closeness.

"I love you," I whispered after his hands pushed me away with soft but firm hands. We listened to my heartbeat slow gradually as we caught our breath.

"I love you too," Edward said, pressing his lips to mine once more. "You know, you're really a wonderful mother. I feel like her father, it's crazy, love. I never thought…before… that I would ever feel so strongly about anybody. I'd seen the way Emmett looked at Rosalie, and I never thought I'd get that. And then you came, and you were stunning and beautiful and spectacular, and I was so surprised to find that I could even feel such love. It was overpowering. It was staggering, and I thought that that would be it."

I smiled as he stroked my cheek with his long, pale fingers.

"I was so happy, so content with your love. And then, to find that there is this girl, so tiny and warm, that loves me too. I feel like her father, Bella."

"You _are_ her father, Edward."

He grinned, but his smile vanished slowly. "It's going to be hard, giving her up. But I put an ad in the paper, and I'm sure that we're bound to get a few interviews in the next few weeks. We'll give her a good home, I promise."

I nodded, forcing back tears. This was right, and I knew it was necessary for her survival. Still, the selfish part of me wanted more time, although I was eager to spend eternity with Edward. Not to mention, every day I grew closer and closer to aging, and an eventual death. I needed Edward like I needed air to breathe, maybe more, and I knew that finding Annabel a great home was going to be the best solution in the long run.

"Let's just…not worry about that right now," I said softly as Edward nodded, understanding my mood. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to my room, softly humming my lullaby in his beautiful voice. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to fall into a soft, dreamless sleep.

--

"Charlie, Annabel looks sick," I said worriedly as I looked at her. Her nose was pink, and she was crying a high pitched shrill. Edward had gone to hunt, since it was Friday, and his family had accompanied him. Alice told me she saw that her blood wouldn't be very appealing to any of them, but they didn't want to take any chances.

"Annabel, baby, stop crying," I said as I ran a hand through her short hair. I stroked her cheek as she twisted in my arms; this was the only time she hadn't settled at my touch. She sneezed then, and it was so adorable that I felt bad for giggling at her. She glared at me through her deep green eyes, rolling them casually as she sneezed again. The color reminded me of a forest, the mix of color was so genuinely beautiful that it shocked almost everybody that she saw.

"What the heck am I supposed to do for a cold Charlie?" I called, talking half to him and half to myself. I walked carefully around the new toys Esme and Alice had brought over, careful not to trip over them as I made my way into the kitchen.

Annabel let out another cry, and I tittered in sympathy as I patted her bare belly.

"Aw baby," I said as I rocked her in my arms. I opened the drawer underneath the microwave, searching with one hand for the medicine that would provide her with some relief. I looked at her, having a conversation with her. It was a habit, something I did now to provide myself some conversation. "Is this the first time you've been sick?"

She was seven months old. I should have expected her to get sick. I took out the baby medication that Alice had brought over the day before. I realized now that she saw this coming, and sighed as Annabel let out another cry.

"Annabel, be a big girl," I said sternly. She giggled, momentarily distracted by my attempts at being serious. I smiled at her, dribbling the medicine in her mouth. She puckered her lips, spitting it up over her bare chest, letting the medicine spill over her chin and lips.

I groaned as she giggled again, and I couldn't help but tickle her as she giggled and twisted in my arms. After I tried a few more times, she kept down the medicine like she was supposed to.

"I love you baby," I said softly as I washed her stomach. "Does Annabel have a sticky tummy?"

She giggled as her response, allowing me to clean her up as I took her into my arms again.

"Need somethin' Bells?" Charlie asked as he walked into the room. I pointed towards Annabel, who continued to cry in my arms as she turned.

"She's got a cold," I told him as I bounced her up and down. Charlie shook his head, coming over to look at her. Her face was puckered into a pout, and tears streamed down her eyes. "Should we turn on the television?"

I knew that wasn't going to work though. In the past week, she refused the television. The only thing she wanted to do was sit outside in the sun, listening to the dogs barking down the street. The temperature was getting warmer and warmer, and she looked at my drink longingly as we sat outside. Once a day, while she lounged on the blanket, Edward and I would allow her to take a drip of lemonade.

Today though, when I took her outside, she just continued to cry. Charlie took her from me, telling me to just enjoy my time and that he would take care of her.

"Really, Charlie, it's okay," I said, trying to prove to him that what I was saying was true. He just shook his head though, spinning gently in a small circle as he tried to sooth Annabel to sleep. He looked up at me with stern eyes, his fatherly mood taking over.

"Bells, I haven't seen Angela around her lately."

I held back the urge to roll my eyes. "Dad, I kind of just adopted my little sister, and I'm technically a legal adult. That's a lot to handle in just a week."

He looked at me with a 'no-nonsense' expression. I groaned, flipping open the cell phone Edward had given me, without my consent, and waved it in the air like a white flag.

"I'll call."

Charlie grunted, satisfied. I liked Angela, she was nice and polite. I dialed her number, punching in the numbers as I pressed send. She didn't have a ringback, so the ring was monotone and droned on as I listened intently for her greeting.

"Hey Bella!"

I smiled; Angela was always enthusiastic to hear from me. I remembered the first day that I'd met her. I was so bad then, so completely destroyed. My life was in ruins, but she'd still had the heart to hand me her number and ask me to be her friend. I don't know if, had the circumstances be switched, that I would have been so open and caring.

"Miss me? It's only been… five hours since we saw each other last," she said as she laughed. Yes, I really liked her.

"Yea, I was wondering if you wanted to come over," I said casually as I looked at Annabel. She had stopped crying, but I was still worried for her. I was slightly annoyed that Charlie was making me invite somebody over. I had nothing against Angela, but I would much rather spend the rest of the year in Edward's arms, holding Annabel.

"Sure," she said eagerly, "How's the parent life?"

I smiled. The school had been gossiping about me for a week. Some kids thought that she was my own child, but the smart ones believed me when I explained the situation. They still didn't understand the absolute love and adoration Edward and I shared for Annabel. They didn't have the right minds to understand it.

"It's good, why don't you just come over and I'll show you her?"

Angela quickly hung up the phone, and I tapped my foot impatiently. I tried to go back to the kitchen to see if Charlie needed anything, but Annabel's cries had died down. I made sure she was sleeping soundly before I ran to the door. I didn't want the doorbell to wake her.

When Angela arrived, she immediately demanded to see the baby.

"I want to see her, please?" She begged after I explained she was sleeping. I gave in, leading her to the cradle that had been moved to my room the night before. When the door opened slowly we tiptoed over to the pink cradle. Charlie had been right; it did balance nicely with the rest of my room. And Annabel was quickly tying for the center of my universe.

"Oh!" Angela said, gasping quietly. "She's beautiful."

I nodded in agreement as Angela reached a hand down slowly to stroke her hair. She smiled softly, asking if she could lift her from the cradle. I didn't know the next time Angela would be there to hold her, so I agreed.

Angela was almost as motherly as me. She cooed and rocked her slowly. It was perfect that we still had the rocking chair. It was starting to become a tradition; at night Edward would hold me in his lap while I snuggled Annabel in my arms. We would hum my lullaby to her, and together the sound would cause her to drift to sleep quickly.

"You should see her eyes," I whispered to her. She looked up at me curiously. "They're a mix of dark green and chocolate brown. It's mesmerizing."

She smiled softly, stroking Annabel's cheek softly as she hummed.

"Want to watch a movie?" She asked after she had Annabel settled back into her cradle. I nodded, turning on the monitor as I took the receiver down to the living room. I let Angela pick a movie, and opted for a cheesy movie about zombies.

We were laughing hysterically as the third zombie tripped and fell.

"You'd think somebody would edit that out!" I laughed as Angela nodded.

"I think… I think that it's supposed to be scary!" Angela realized suddenly, which caused both of us to laugh loudly. The doorbell rang, and I jumped up to get it. Angela reached a hand into the bowl of popcorn we'd made, picking out the cheesiest pieces as she popped them into her mouth. I tripped on my way to the door, grabbing the table for support as I steadied myself. The doorbell rang again, and I muttered to myself as I yanked the door open.

"Jacob! Hey!"

He wrapped me into a hug, ruffling my hair playfully as he looked around.

"I hear you're a mommy, kind of?"

I frowned as he laughed loudly. "She's sleeping, so you're going to need to tone it down. And how is everybody _hearing_ about this?"

Jacob looked suddenly shy as he turned towards his car. He looked back at me, shrugging his shoulders helplessly as he grinned with such love that I gripped the doorway for support. A girl stepped out of the car, her face down as she studied the cracks on my driveway. I watched her as she took two steps up, showing her face slowly as her eyes met mine.

"I imprinted Bella! Her cousin, Jessica Stanley, goes to your school. Jessica is a bit of a gossip or something, and Cameron here knows everything."

My eyes widened with shock as I stared at the girl. She was short with pale blonde hair and bright green eyes. She was shy, and stuck out a small hand as she smiled at me.

"I know you," she said softly, "You're dating Edward Cullen. Jessica talks about him a lot."

I grinned, shaking her tiny hand. Her skin was slightly tanned, and the contrast to her hair was stunning. It looked beautiful on her, though.

"How old are you?" I asked as we stepped into the house, careful to be quiet and keep my voice low. I didn't want to risk waking up Annabel. As we stepped into the living room, Angela looked at Jacob and waved, throwing another piece of buttered popcorn into her mouth as she laughed at the movie.

"I'm sixteen, but I look a little younger," she admitted softly. I noticed that, although she was shy, her voice was naturally soft. Jacob just grinned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer as he buried his face in her hair.

"I just wanted to see her. Cameron and I are going on a date later, and we just wanted to stop by and take a look."

I rolled my eyes, slapping his shoulder playfully as they followed me upstairs and into my room. Jacob grinned at Annabel, kissing her forehead with his warm lips.

"She's pretty," he commented as Cameron took her into her arms. She leaned against Jacob, and it reminded me of the way Edward and I acted, like she was their baby.

"We have to find her a home," I said quietly, "After the wedding; we're not going to be able to take care of her anymore. There's an ad in the paper. Will you watch her, though? Wherever she ends up? Can you make sure she's okay?"

Jacob nodded seriously as he stared at Annabel.

"Yes, Bella," he said as Cameron reluctantly gave the baby back to me. "We'll make sure that she's safe."

I smiled as he hugged my tightly.

"We're going to go, but be safe, okay?" Jacob said sternly. I rolled my eyes at him but nodded as he kissed my hair. "Am I still invited to the wedding?"

"Of course!" I said, "But you know it's not for a long time, right?"

Jacob just shrugged as we walked back downstairs. Somehow, Angela was still on the couch, choosing her popcorn pieces in a very picky manner.

"Bye, Cameron," I said as they stepped out the door. She waved slightly at me, Jacob chuckling as he slipped his big hand over hers. "It was nice meeting you!"

"Same," she said quietly, smiling as they got in the car.

It seemed like everything was finally falling back into place. I had Annabel, Jacob had Cameron, Angela had her popcorn, and Edward and I were eternally and undeniably in love.

And in only one and a half years, my life would never be the same again.

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**a:n/** okay, well this is just fluff :D hope you don't mind too much. it's probably not worth the wait, but i hope you liked it just the same. it'll be smooth sailing for another two or three chapters, but you dont mind, do you?

if you give me 40 reviews i'll update tomorrow. im going to my sister's new house, and i KNOW thats a lot of reviews to ask for, i get that. but its my moms birthday too, and its going to be really crazy all night. i'm going to need a lot of inspiration.

if i get 30 reviews, ill update on tuesday. thats two days away. i've got to go get my test scores from high school back, and its a big deal where im at. lots of legal documents and talk about scholorships. not to mention i've got a major project due on wednesday :D

i love you guys. you gave me almost 25 today :D

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"Just let me have this moment," he said quietly. I blushed, looking down at my fingers.

"I thought that we had an agreement?"


	26. Birthdays and Sombriety

**author note:** i only got 17 reviews last chapter. i love you guys so much, but i know that at least 140 of you are reading this. want to show me some more love than that? I'm not going to beg you, it's just a thought that's been bothering me (:

Thanks to my beta, **Angels for Airwaves**, who confuses me when she talks about macaronni in italiano :D

I'd love to dedicate this chapter to **everybody** who reviewed, i just couldnt decide!

**disclaimer: **Stephenie owns it all, unfortunately for me.

* * *

**3 months later**

"Shh, quiet!" Alice whispered. I rolled my eyes, holding back a laugh as she bounced around the house quickly. Jasper watched her, an amused smile on his face as his eyes followed her sharp movements.

"Alice, she's probably not even going to notice," Jasper pointed out to his wife as delicately as possible. She just shook her head, not allowing this bit of news to deter her mood.

"Does that matter? It's a surprise party, that doesn't mean that you are allowed to just hang around. You have to hide! Jazz, hide!"

I tried harder to stifle a giggle as she and Jasper dodged behind the long black couch. Edward would be bringing over Annabel shortly; he'd wanted to stay behind and have a conversation with her. It was something to see, Edward having a conversation with a baby girl who couldn't yet speak. He was entranced by her, seeing as she was a very bright baby and had caught on that he could tell what she was thinking.

Today was a big day.

Today was the day that Annabel turned one year old.

Alice may have gone slightly crazy, decorating the entire house in pink streamers and white bows. A mountain of presents were piled in the corner, against my complaints. Apparently, the term 'she's only a year old' doesn't have much effect when you're dealing with an overly-excited vampire.

I couldn't blame Alice, though. She'd quickly fallen in love with Annabel, humming her songs and taking her and me and shopping sprees that lasted all day. I refused to let her buy me anything. She didn't put up much of a fight, since we all knew that we only had so much time until we had to give her away.

Too many people answered the newspaper article. Some lived near here, but many lived so far away. Edward and I had talked about it, and we'd scheduled an initial interview with three couples tomorrow. I was going to be picky; nobody was going to get Annabel that wasn't one hundred percent worthy.

"Hush!" Alice whisper-shouted at Emmett, who was lounging on the couch with Rosalie perched on his lap. I smiled; at least somebody had the sense of mind to stay sane. Emmett seemed to read my thoughts, because his booming laugh rang through the house, irritating Alice to no end.

"They're coming!"

I heard the soft click as the doorknob turned slowly. Edward stepped through, smiling broadly as Annabel grinned up at him.

"Surprise!" Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie and Esme shouted at the same time. She turned towards the room, almost as if she was seeing us for the first time. Her eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands as she took in the bright streamers and bows decorating the house.

"A-bubba!" She cheered as she whipped her head back to Edward. He pointed towards me with one finger, smiling gently and she followed his direction until her eyes landed on mine. When she locked eyes with me, her arms reached out impatiently through the air to try to reach me.

"Hello, love," Edward greeted me as Annabel snuggled against my chest. I looked up at him, my heart stuttering as his butterscotch eyes melted into mine. He bent down to press his lips to mine gently, and I had to remind myself that Annabel was between us to stop myself from kissing him back too much.

"Get anything interesting out of her?" I asked as we walked around the room, showing her the ribbons as Alice bounced around gleefully.

"Can I see her?" Rosalie asked, reaching her hands out to take Annabel out of my grasp. Annabel's lip jutted out slightly, but when she turned to see it was Rosalie who had taken her, she patted her face gently as she displayed her single dimple to her. Rosalie sighed, content, as she pointed to her husband waving and making facial expressions to her in the corner.

The day passed, as all days do. Gifts were presented to the dimpled baby, and everybody was smiling and talking and laughing as she dropped her head into the cake, drooling over the layer of sugared frosting. It didn't matter to me; I was the only other human there, and seeing her joy made the ruined cake more endearing than disgusting.

After plenty of beautiful baby dresses from Alice, toys from Esme, a prank nurses outfit from Emmett-which I growled at him for- and plenty of gifts from the rest of the family. Rosalie and I gave her her last present together; something that took us weeks to find and pick out.

"Now baby girl," Rosalie said as Annabel cooed and clapped on her brightly colored blanket. We were sitting in the living room, and it was an amusing sight trying to see Rosalie act stern to the child we all loved so much. "You have to listen- no, baby girl. Let go of Rosie's hair-"

I laughed, sliding over to kneel beside Rosalie. Annabel looked up at me, a fistful of Rosalie's beautiful blonde hair in her tiny grasp. I gently untangled the mess, and Rosalie sighed when her long, curly locks of hair were released. I knew she didn't mind that Annabel tugged on her; it simply reminded her of being the mother she could never truly be.

"This is from Rosalie and me," I said slowly, trying to pull her focus to me. Her beautiful eyes stared up at me in understanding, and she reached a hand out –almost impatiently- to display her palm to me.

"Okay, but this is for when you're a big girl, okay?"

Again, Annabel splayed her palm out to me, asking for the gift. She was a smart girl, and she caught on fast. Emmett laughed, as did Edward, as Rosalie and I sighed at the same time. I couldn't help but notice the small smile that spread over Rosalie's face as she pulled the tiny box out from behind her back.

"Open," she commanded the baby girl. Annabel grinned, trying to rip the paper in her tiny hands. When it didn't work, she lifted the box to her teeth, gnawing on it. She'd begun to teeth a few months ago, and she hadn't stopped chewing on anything since.

"Here, come here and let me open it for you," Rosalie said as she lifted her gently into her arms. She was more than careful around Annabel, and extremely conscious about her extreme abilities. When she'd first been around her, she had refused to touch her. In the beginning, I had been confused, until Edward explained that she didn't want to break such a beautiful baby. After Annabel reached for her, the third time Rosalie had refused her, she gave in. Within moments she was attached, and couldn't help but love the baby almost as much as Edward and I.

She rested Annabel in her lap as she opened the gift slowly. Annabel beat on the box, now covered with a thin layer of her slobber, with tiny hands as she bounced up and down in excitement. She wasn't usually excited. She smiled a lot, and she liked to play and laugh, but she hardly ever bounced.

"See?" Rosalie said as she lifted the charm bracelet out of the box. I smiled- it had taken Rosalie, Alice and I hours of searching to find this. Even Alice hadn't been able to search for it. We decided to put it away until she was older, and it made a tinge of sadness ring through me as I realized that I would never get to see her wear it.

"A-bubba!" Annabel cooed as she stared at the charm. It was silver, with eight charms dangling off of it. We'd all chosen the charms that we wanted to give her. We wanted something to have her subconsciously remember us, even after we'd gone and left her to her human life.

Rosalie had chosen a crystal rose, saying that it should bring up her name in Annabel's memory more often as she grew. Alice had chosen a lightning bolt, simply symbolizing her entertainment and spunk. She said that it would remind Annabel to always stay alert. Esme had chosen a tiny silver bow, to signify that she would always remain beautiful, inside and out. Carlisle picked a simple sapphire A, to remind her to be herself, even if things got tough. Jasper, after much persuasion, went with a blood red heart, to show her that, although he may thirst, he would never hurt something as precious as her. Edward picked a musical note, to inspire creativity in her world. And lastly, Emmett, much to everybody's annoyance, had originally selected a female symbol. Later, however, he changed it to a teddy bear, so that she could always have a small reminder of the big uncle who loved her.

We all loved her, and we would all miss her terribly. Her warm smile, her cute words, even when she cried in the middle of the night as her teething began.

But this was for the best.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest as we watched Annabel play with her new toys. She touched the charms gently, giggling when they spun and sparkled from the chain.

"I love you," I said to him as I sighed in content, leaning against his chest as we watched Annabel and Rosalie interact on the bright rug.

"I love you too," he replied softly, "Always. Forever."

*******

"What are you doing?" I asked hesitantly as I watched him stand and go to my dresser. Annabel was asleep in her cradle. She hadn't even lasted the entire party.

He came back with a small box in his hand, and his eyes were looking at me with an apologetic smile.

"Just let me have this moment," he said quietly. I blushed, looking down at my fingers.

"I thought that we had an agreement?"

Edward pulled me to my feet, his cool hands surrounding mine as his eyes shone with such love I had to grip his hands tighter to stay standing. He gave them a gentle squeeze before bending down on his one knee.

"Bella Swan, I love you. You are my light, my sun, my world. Without you, my existence is meaningless. So please, take this ring and take my love, and with it accept my proposal to spend the rest of your wonderful existence with me. Will you marry me?"

I could think of so many things to say. Some were extravagantly horrendous, some were sad; some were more amazingly sweet and romantic than anything he probably thought me capable of. I didn't think words would be my ally at this point, as my throat was closed tight. So I whispered what I needed so desperately to say.

"Yes, Edward. Yes."

He grinned, standing to capture my lips with his in the sweetest, longest kiss we had ever shared. When he pulled away we were both panting for breath. He smiled in elation as he kissed the ring one more time. I wiggled my finger, looking at the diamond.

"We're already engaged ," I pointed out, laughing as he trailed kisses down my neck. I felt him shrug, a smile on his lips.

"I never truly got my chance to propose. You're very, _very_ stubborn, you know. This just makes it more official. Not to mention, it shows every other man that you're _mine_."

I shivered as he crushed me against him. Soon, we were both panting for breath. When he pulled away, he didn't let me go, simply pressed his forehead against mine as his eyes shone. He lifted my hand to kiss my fingers gently, and it was then that I fully noticed the beautiful ring in front of me.

"You didn't spend a lot, did you?" I pleaded with him. He shook his head quickly, dismissing my attempts to complain.

"I assure you, love, this was my mother's ring. I didn't spend a dime."

Again, the joyous grin spread over his face as he kissed my lips once more. I raised an eyebrow at him, lifting up my hand to display the old fashioned yet beautiful diamond in front of his face.

"You like that, don't you?" I asked him curiously. He nodded, and it seemed like he couldn't keep his hands off of me. He held me in his arms, cradling us together on the small bed. His lips trailed from my cheek down my neck, and I felt his smile against my collarbone as my heart pounded in my chest. After a while he pulled away, the same expression in his eyes as before. But now I could place it. It was love.

"You have _no_ idea."

*******

"Do we have to do this?" I begged him quietly as Esme cast me a pitying glance. I wiped the tears from my eyes, avoiding her glances as I stared into Edward's ocher eyes. He was frowning too, and he bent to plant a simple kiss on my forehead.

"You want her to be happy, don't you love?"

I nodded, crossing my arms and feeling miserable as I blinked back the tears that I didn't want or need. It had only been a week since Edward had offered me the wedding ring, and only a week since we'd thrown Annabel her birthday party. Now we had to get down to business.

I hated it.

"How much longer?" I whispered as I shuffled with the papers in front of me. I felt kind of silly, sitting on Edward's exquisite white loveseat with him as I toyed with my brown knit sweater. I'd worn simple white pants for today; I didn't want to become uncomfortable, but I didn't want to seem immature to them either. Edward chose something of the same fashion, wearing my favorite outfit on him. Khakis and a tan sweater really suited him.

"Thirty seconds, love," Edward said calmly, his face serene as he gazed out the window. I heard it then, the sound of an engine coming down the driveway. To my surprise, another was directly behind it.

"I thought we scheduled these an hour apart?" I said quickly as they pulled to a halt. If the situation had been different, I may have found their faces amusing as they stared at the wonderful house in front of them. Two couples got out of their cars, one in a shiny black Cadillac, another in a simple green Ford truck.

I saw an exchange going on, and although I couldn't hear them, I knew Edward could. I saw the younger couple smile and wave, while the older couple, who I was guessing to be in their forties, just nodded politely and walked toward the house.

The doorbell rang moments later, and I stood up with Edward's hand in my own to greet whoever made it to the door first. I swung it open to reveal both couples at the same time. The young woman waved, her red hair curled in a frame around her face as her green eyes danced with happiness. I glanced towards the other woman quickly. She had black hair that was pulled into a loose bun on the back of her head. The husband of the younger woman just shrugged at his wife's obvious excitement, casting me a 'what can you do' glance. I smiled, looking discreetly over to the older man. He was in a dark suit, his graying hair slicked back over large bushy eyebrows.

"Come in," Edward said politely as he gently tugged me out of the doorway. I blushed, following him as the two couples stepped inside.

"My name's Lilia, and this is my husband Peter," the red head said as she reached a hand out to shake mine. Her hand was clammy, and she shook it off gently against her pants. I didn't mind though, because mine were sweaty too.

I looked at the older couple, and the man let out a warm smile, reaching a hand out to shake mine.

"Hello. My name is Robert, and this is my wife of twenty years, Marta."

Marta gave me a polite smile, reaching a hand out to shake mine. Her hand wasn't clammy, but her lips turned up at the corners when she felt the perspiration from my palms.

"Nervous?"

I looked at her, my eyes calculating. "You're not?"

Her eyes clouded over, and she shook her head slowly. "What happens will happen."

I glanced at Edward, and he was shaking his head sadly.

"Lilia, Peter, could you wait while we interview Robert and Marta?"

Lilia nodded a single, jerky bob as she and Peter turned to sit on the couch in the middle of the room. She grasped his hand tightly in his, her eyes shining as she looked toward the sleek black piano. Edward interlaced his fingers with mine, giving them a reassuring squeeze as we led Robert and Marta towards the dining room. Edward ushered them in, turning to shut the door. He sat next to me, Robert and Marta on the other side as we faced each other.

"Robert and Marta Shone, correct?" Edward questioned them. The man nodded, his graying mustache bobbing as he smiled.

"Uhm…" I said, trying to think of something to say. Considering that Annabel was legally mine, I thought I should at least be asking some questions. "Why do you want to adopt Annabel?"

The man squeezed the woman's hand tightly as he rubbed her shoulder. I flinched; I had a feeling it was a sensitive question to ask. Edward stroked my arm gently as his hand squeezed mine once more.

"Well," Robert said gently as Marta wiped tears from her eyes, "We had a son, once. He was a good boy. He got great grades, was on the honor roll, star of the football team… he was a great kid. Everybody loved him. He got his license when he was sixteen, and he went to pick up his girlfriend for a date. On the way there, a… man… crashed into him. He was killed on impact."

I shuddered, wiping away tears of my own. Robert looked away, his eyes blurring as he focused on the decorative wallpaper in an attempt not to let his emotions take over. Marta looked at me, her eyes pleading for me to understand.

"Please, we're not here to try to replace him. We simply miss being _parents_. I miss the feeling of holding a child in my arms, rocking a baby to sleep. I may be fifty, but we have the money to ensure that she has the best education, the best life…"

She trailed off, turning her attention toward the table, staring at it as a single tear dripped down and splattered against the freshly polished wood. My heart shook for the woman. Alice walked in-it was one of the only times I'd seen her walk instead of skip- and looked at Edward. He nodded subtly, almost so quickly I didn't catch it, and walked out of the room.

Marta looked confused, as did Robert, but within moments Alice was stepping through the doorway again, Annabel perched on her hip. She looked around, finally deciding to hand her to me as I reached my arms out. Annabel glanced up at me, then at the two unfamiliar people sitting across the table. She cast me a confused glance, and then jutted out her lower lip.

"Annabel, this is Marta and Robert, they're trying to get to know you better. Do you want Marta or Robert to hold you?"

She looked back and forth between us, before Edward leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"She's anxious. She knows that they're important, but she doesn't know why. She wants to touch Robert's mustache."

I laughed as Robert cast us a confused glance, almost as though he was insulted. I just shrugged and tapped Annabel's head.

"Annabel is very intelligent for her age," Edward explained as Annabel turned to look at me. She was well aware of her name, and she knew we were talking about her. I handed her a rainbow teething ring, but she simply threw it onto the floor. I sighed, bouncing her on my knee as she gurgled. Marta watched with soft eyes, her hand squeezed in a fist as she tried not to reach out toward the baby she longed to touch.

"She wants to go to you, Robert," I explained as I stood. Robert looked surprised, unsure of how I could determine this, but he shrugged as I gently switched her over into his arms. He held her away from her for a moment as he looked in her eyes. She grinned, reaching a hand up to tangle in his mustache.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't his and Marta's hearty laughs as she yanked playfully. He shook his head back and forth as she giggled, her tiny fist gripping tightly on him. Marta smiled, reaching a hand up tentatively to touch her purple dress. Annabel turned, smiling brilliantly at the woman.

Marta broke down.

Annabel glanced at her, reaching a hand down to pat her hair as her shoulders shook with her sobs. Robert sighed sadly, kissing Annabel on the forehead as he passed her back to me. After Marta wiped away her tears and apologized, she stood up straighter than before.

"It's just a little difficult, she's so beautiful…"

I nodded in understanding. Edward gripped my hand in his, wrapping his leg around mine in support as we asked the most important questions. For the next forty minutes, we asked about finances, hours they would spend at home, whether they would be home on weekends, who would babysit her when they were gone, their home life, their house itself… everything. It was draining, asking question after question as Annabel cooed and gurgled in my lap. Alice came back in after twenty minutes, taking her from my grip. The goal was to introduce Annabel, to see their initial reaction.

After we were done, we stood and shook hands with them. Marta looked me in the eyes and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. She pulled away, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

"Remember," she said seriously, "Whether or not you choose us as her parents, she is special. Choose carefully, and know that no matter what, I only want the best for your sister."

I nodded as they walked out of the house, waving goodbye as they walked towards their Cadillac. They earned ninety thousand dollars a year, and I knew that the money would be good for Annabel. She would have everything she needed, and although they had high jobs, Marta had said that she would be more than willing to quit her job, saying that Robert earned the majority of the income anyways. They were in their fifties, but Marta seemed loving and warm and kind. Her final words were haunting my mind as we walked out to greet Lilia and Peter.

They smiled when it was their turn, and they followed us into the den.

"Why do you want Annabel?" I asked as we took our seats. Lilia sat across from us, her hands interlaced with her husband's as she leaned on his shoulder. Her eyes were sad, and I wondered what her story was.

"I'm twenty-six, and Peter is twenty-eight. We met when I was twenty one, and we were married by the time I was twenty-three. We always wanted a little girl, and we tried. It took us a year to go to the doctors for it, and he told us…I … can't have a child. So we figure that adopting a beautiful baby is just as good, if not better."

I nodded, looking at them truly for the first time. They were young, and they were so obviously in love. The way she looked at Peter when he went into further detail reminded me of the way I looked at Edward.

"What are your finances like?" Edward asked when he and Peter had finished talking. It was truly time for business, even though I didn't like it very much.

"Well… we're not making a lot. We have fifteen-thousand saved in the bank for a house. Right now we live in an apartment for five-hundred a month. We make thirty-five thousand a year together, but I'm expecting a raise next month. I've already talked my boss, and the raise should put us up to forty-thousand a year. If we get five-thousand more, we can put the down payment on this house we were looking into. I know we don't seem like we have a lot of money, but we're home and we can care for her."

I nodded. Edward squeezed my hand as Alice walked in, holding Annabel on her hip. Lilia gasped, reaching out for her. Annabel twisted in Alice's grip, studying the woman.

"She's so beautiful," Lilia murmured as she stared at the little girl. She squealed in delight, clapping her hands together. "She has the most _beautiful_ hair!"

I smiled, and looked at Annabel's hair. Recently, it had shifted to a chocolate brown. On top of that, though, vibrant red streaks ran through her lush hair, creating amazing highlights that models paid big money for.

She was a beautiful girl. More than that, she was amazing. It was easy to see why Lilia was so eager to hold her.

"Oh hey pretty," Lilia cooed as she snuggled Annabel against her chest. Annabel giggled, knowing that somebody was talking about her. Peter leaned over; making facial expressions that caused Annabel to grin widely as she patted his cheek.

After we'd run through the tough questions, drilling everything they said to the core, and after Annabel had succumbed to sleep after being spoon fed some baby food, we stood to say our goodbyes.

"You'll let us know, either way right?" Lilia asked; worry etching her voice as she glanced from Edward to me. I couldn't help but notice that her eyes lingered on Edward, but then again I couldn't blame her. Edward was completely gorgeous. I knew though, that this was subconscious, and her grip remained firm on Peter as she waited for my answer.

"Yes, of course," I said as she grinned, wrapping me in a tight hug.

When they had gone, I hugged Edward tightly.

"I love you," I said quietly, "I know that we're doing the right thing."

Edward nodded, pressing his lips to my forehead. I let out a shuddering breath as tears slipped down my cheeks.

It didn't mean that it was going to be easy. I sighed gently as I lifted a hand to wipe away the tears.

"Just one more today, love," Edward said gently as we stood waiting for the third couple to arrive. I knew that no matter how tough, we would get through it.

Together.

* * *

**author note: **well, we're getting into a few more serious chapters. i've been thinking of extending this story just a LITTLE more, to fit everything in that i want to. you don't mind, do you?

by the way, i apologize for the three day wait! BUT I GOT A 98 ON THE PLACEMENT TEST! which means that i did better than 98% of the US, which means i get a scholorship! which means that... i get to go to the high school i want to! (i dont exactly have the 10,000 necessary for a private high school)

okay well enough rambling :D

20 reviews for an update tomorrow! show me some love, you guys! tell me what you think of this story, please (: 

* * *

**[SNEAK PEEK]**

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand to watch this couple anymore. I stood, my chair scraping quickly against the hardwood floor as Edward cast me a confused and worried glance.

I went over to them, snatching Annabel from their arms as I stumbled from the room.


	27. Another Chance

I'd like to thank my amazing beta, **Angels for Airwaves**, go check out her story!

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **hanaa**, for having the longest review!

**disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it all

* * *

"Hi, I'm sorry we're a little late," the woman apologized as she ran up the driveway, ducking her head against the wind as her husband laughed, linking arms with her. She stepped inside quickly as I shut the door behind them, making sure that none of the rain blew in. I shook my head at her attempts for an apology as Edward reached a hand out to shake with the man's. He'd warmed his hand in mine so that it was nearly human temperature, and the man didn't flinch at his hard grasp.

"The car had a spot of trouble…" the man said, trying to explain. I just shook my head, waving a hand toward the dining room. They followed, sitting opposite as usual. The woman had long, pale hair that was curled elegantly to frame her face. She had dark ruby lips, contrasting with the nearly white color of her hair. The man appeared strong, laugh wrinkles lining his face.

"Carina and Aiden, correct?" I asked, reading off the papers they had passed to me. The woman nodded, and her dark blue eyes sparkled. I couldn't help but notice something, though…

"How old are you?" I asked them, genuinely curious. The woman blushed slightly, dipping her head as the man patted his wife's hand, laughing.

"I'm thirty-four," he said, lifting their entwined fingers to gesture towards his wife, "Carina is twenty-three."

She looked up and grinned impishly at me. "Well, it's really only ten years. We met in a bar when I was nineteen. I snuck in with some friends, and he was just _there_. We didn't talk, but I thought I was a big shot, you know, sneaking in and everything. By the end of the night I was thoroughly drunk, and I was about to go home with this guy I didn't even know…"

"And I looked at her," Aiden cut her off, his pale eyes humorous now as she blushed again at the memory, "And I said-"

"What are you, mental?"

They both finished the sentence, laughing as she looked up, continuing.

"He knew I was underage, and he'd been keeping an eye out for me the entire time. He basically beat the guy up who was trying to get with me, because he was in his thirties."

"Pigs," Aiden muttered, but continued where Carina had left off. "I didn't think anything of her at first; I just took her keys and made her get in the car. She said I was _'too old'_, and her friends were laughing a lot at me. I made them all get in my truck though, and I made her tell me where she lived."

"I thought he was going to try to put some moves on me," Carina said in mock-horror as she stared at her wedding ring as she feigned a hurt expression. "He didn't even ask for my number. I tried to write it down, but he ripped it up, saying he didn't want to get arrested. He didn't even know my real age."

Her eyes grew warm as she remembered the next part.

"It was two years later. I was in college, aiming for a degree in teaching. I love kids, but I'm not adding that to stress how much I'd love your sister. Anyway, I was running through the halls because I was late to drop off an assignment. I'd gotten dressed up in a red mini dress, because my friends and I were having a celebration for my twenty-first birthday. I was only planning on delivering the paper, and then I'd be off to the bar…"

"I was going to see my dad, he was working there," Aiden said, telling his point of the story. I felt like I was in a trance, listening to them speak back and forth. "He was actually the teacher she had to deliver the paper too. We were talking about the fact that I was thirty-one and not even _married. _And she ran in… God I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I'd had serious relationships before, ones I'd considered marriage on, so it came to a shock when she came in, her pale hair straight and choppy, wearing that _dress_…"

"His mouth dropped," Carina informed me as we giggled. "I remembered him, vaguely, and it seemed like he remembered me too. I smiled, and I stuck out my hand. 'Hello' was all I said to him. He grinned, and I knew he was mocking me. 'Are you finally sober?' he asked me."

"She was so mad," Aiden said, laughing. "She had no idea that the professor was my father. She dragged me out into the hall, and she asked me, 'What are you, mental?'"

Carina grinned, "It was the same line he repeated to me in the bar. He was mildly insulted by my rudeness. You can't really blame me, though, after all, it was my _professor_ he was talking in front of! It wouldn't be a very good example for a teacher to be getting drunk all the time!"

Aiden tapped his chin for a moment and then laughed loudly. "She wouldn't speak to me. She went back in, dropped the paper on my dad's desk, and turned on her heels. 'Go,' my dad said to me after she'd stormed off. I didn't know why I wanted to follow her, but I did. I didn't know anything about her, other than the fact that both times that I'd seen her she'd been either drunk or getting ready to be. I didn't see why it mattered, but I chased after her anyways."

Carina smiled again, leaning against him as she sighed, closing her eyes. When she opened them a moment later, she continued, remembering the moments.

"'Hey little missy, you can't get drunk tonight.' I heard him in the hallway, his footsteps overpowering mine as I walked. It was a strange feeling, one that I'd grown used to. I'm not beautiful, but when you get in college there are plenty of boys that want to chase you around. "

I thought otherwise. With her pale blonde hair, ruby lips and midnight eyes, it was a wonder that there wasn't a lineup out the door. Aiden seemed to be thinking the same, because his grip on her hand tightened as he took over their story.

"I certainly didn't look my age; thirty-one to twenty one wasn't that bad anyways. But she looked at least twenty four, and I couldn't help but stare at her as her hair whipped around her face. 'Get the hell away from me' was the only thing she would say. I had to practically jump in front of her to get her to even slow down. I reminded her gently that I saved her from possible fatalities two years ago, and that she should at least pleasure me to a cup of coffee next weekend. I didn't know why I said it, but after I did it was too late."

Carina rolled her eyes, leaning over to speak to me alone. "Saying 'I saved you from a prick two years ago so pay up with some coffee' isn't the most romantic way to start a relationship."

Aiden blushed a little, glancing down. "I was nervous, honey. You're really beautiful, so you can't blame a guy for getting tongue tied and blurting out whatever pops into his head. Plus, you were walking really fast for being in such high heels…"

Carina nodded like this made sense, and leaned back in her seat, stretching her back gently. Edward wrapped his leg around mine again, securing us together as we listened to this story. We hadn't intended on it, but it was definitely interesting and mesmerizing to listen to.

"He wouldn't let up. He followed me to my car, and for a second I thought he was going to step in front of the door. I looked at him for a second, trying to remember anything about him. I couldn't do it. I hadn't been in a real relationship in a long time, I never really settled with one guy for more than two or three months. They were too immature, really, and wanted too much. He was strong looking, and I couldn't help but stare for a second-"

"Believe me, she wasn't the only one staring out of the two of us," Aiden chuckled, running his hand up her bare arm. She'd removed her coat to reveal a bright yellow 3-quarter length top, and she grinned as his rough hands traced patters casually along her wrist. "Although, me, being a man, I had to act cool."

Carina laughed out loud, as though his words amused her. "He said 'Hey, I'm going to need your number so I can check to make sure you're not drinking too much later.' It was crazy."

"She told me her last name. Smith."

They both laughed, leaning in towards each other as Aiden wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "She said, 'You find me, I'll give you some coffee.' Then she was gone. She got in her car and, without a glance back, drove off."

Carina was truly laughing now, leaning against him for support. "He called me a day later. He was surprised that I wasn't hung over. I couldn't drink though; I was too busy thinking about him. It was weird for my friends, to not know why I wasn't partying on my _twenty-first_ birthday. 'Let me tell you,' he'd said to me after he called, 'Finding your number was the most boring task in my entire life. You could have told me your first initial at least."

"Well you could have," Aiden grumbled, and then his gaze softened from its playful demeanor as he stared at her for a moment. I looked away, feeling as though I was intruding on some moment. "We met at the coffee shop the next week. She was in jeans and a black coat; it was raining outside. We talked, and I finally found out her name. Carina. It's elegant, isn't it?"

I nodded in agreement as he looked back at his wife. An amused glint came into his eyes as he nudged her shoulder.

"When her parents first heard she was dating a thirty-one year old, they were…furious."

Carina laughed, her white curls bouncing on her shoulders as she threw her head back. "Furious? They were…well…more than that. After the fifth month though, and my longest relationship, they saw that I was serious for once. They were amazed after that, and it was smooth sailing."

Aiden nodded, seemingly pleased as he probably remembered countless arguments that he'd had over the age difference.

"After a year and two months, I proposed. I had a steady job as an executive manager at a machinery company, and she had gotten her first steady job as a teacher in a Catholic grade school. She accepted, and we got married a year later."

"We found out…afterwards…" Carina said softly as she glanced down. They were answering every question that I had laid out, every real reason that I needed to ask. "Aiden wanted a bouncing baby boy. I wanted a beautiful girl. We made bets, on who was going to win. It didn't take very long for me to get worried. We had enough money for a baby; we made almost forty-five thousand a year. I got pregnant, but I got really sick."

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back as she blinked. I wiped away tears of my own, Edward's arm around me tightening as he pulled me into his chest – trying to protect me from sadness.

"At first I thought it was just morning sickness," Aiden said, shaking his head as though he blamed himself, "But she wasn't getting better. She ended up with some poisoning, and the baby…didn't make it."

"It was my fault," Carina said sadly as she patted her stomach gently, "I wanted to try again. So we did. He didn't want me to, but I wanted to feel a baby kick inside of me so _badly_. It was selfish of me. I got pregnant again, and the baby died again. We never found out their genders, it was too soon."

"I'm sorry," I whispered sadly as I reached over to pat her hand gently. She squeezed it, shaking her head as she looked up.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," Edward's beautiful voice rang out, sincere and true. I wondered what she must have been thinking to make him so determined to convince her. "Most women want to feel the joy of having a baby. You didn't _know_."

She wiped her tears, shaking her head again as she glanced up at us apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this," she explained, brushing her hair back. "But yes, that's why we want your sister. I know you love her, but know that we have a secure home with a loving environment, and she would be well taken care of."

"I can tell," I said quietly as she glanced up shyly.

"Do you think…I could see her, maybe?"

I looked to Edward, into his beautiful topaz eyes, and watched as he turned to me and nodded softly. I shrugged, resting my head on his shoulder as I motioned toward the door.

"You've answered all of my questions," I stated, smiling as she blushed. I was sure she hadn't realized how absorbed she'd been in her story. "Alice, can you bring in Annabel?"

I made sure to call loud enough that it wouldn't look suspicious to either Carina or Aiden. Alice came in, Annabel gurgling happily in her arms. She was so pretty, dressed in the purple top and a new white knit hat that Alice had dubbed 'worthy' of her head. Her short strands of hair peeked out, and her cheeks were slightly pink.

"Did you have her in the rain?" I asked, worried as Alice rolled her eyes. Annabel giggled, reaching out for me. Alice looked unashamed though, and nodded.

"Bella, just because it's raining doesn't make it a natural crisis. Heck, we're in the middle of summer!"

Aiden and Edward chuckled, kind expressions on their faces as she was passed into my arms. I snuggled her to m chest, pressing my warm hand against her cheek to bring up her temperature. Annabel seemed unaffected though, smiling up at me. She gurgled, letting out squeals as I talked to her. When I looked up, Carina was smiling at me.

"Oh my, I'm sorry," I apologized, standing up to give her Annabel. She just shook her head, motioning for me to sit back down.

"I just want to look at her right now. Enjoy her, enjoy holding her."

I did as she said, and I found myself smiling as I kissed her forehead. Edward leaned over, and Annabel's eyes automatically shifted to his face as her eyes lit up with excitement.

"Don't worry love," Edward reassured me, "She still loves you the most."

I grinned, happy to have my worries decimated.

"Say Belly," I said quietly to her, willing her to say it. We'd been working on getting her to say my name, trying anything. Sometimes we'd tried to bribe her, but nothing worked. After a moment of unresponsive behavior, besides a few giggles and mumbling, I leaned over to place her in Carina's arms.

"Hey Annabel," she cooed, stroking her hair. Annabel smiled, and Carina gasped quietly. "You have a very pretty smile, angel."

Again, as though she knew what Carina was talking about, she grinned. Carina held her tightly against her, her arms forming a natural cradle as she rocked her gently against her chest. Aiden leaned over to get a better look at her, and Annabel leaned out of Carina's hold to tap his face gently with her hand.

"Aw, look at that!" Aiden said, tickling Annabel's tiny stomach as she giggled happily.

They were so perfect. She was young and beautiful, not to mention she had a loving demeanor and cared for children so much she followed a teaching degree. They met under beautiful circumstances, their love obvious as they cooed to Annabel as she gurgled and played with them. He had a steady job, not to mention the fact that his laugh was calming and soothing, and he and his wife watched Annabel with almost worshipping eyes.

She was everything they wanted. She was everything the needed.

I wasn't ready for this.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand to watch this couple anymore. I stood, my chair scraping quickly against the hardwood floor as Edward cast me a confused and worried glance.

I went over to them, snatching Annabel from their arms as I stumbled from the room.

I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't make it very far. I was stepping out the door, cradling a confused Annabel against my chest as I shook, when a strong, cool pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist.

"Love," he murmured in my ear, pain etched into his voice. Alice came by, taking Annabel from my arms before she looked at me pityingly. Edward lifted me into his arms, cradling me against his chest as he stroked my cheek. "Love, please, calm down."

"They're so _perfect_," I wailed, whimpering as I tucked my head in the crook of his neck. He ran his fingers through my hair, chuckling lightly as I leaned away to scowl. He kissed my forehead, tucking me back against him.

"Isn't that what we want, love?" He asked softly, and it was then that I realized we were sitting on the long, pale white couch in their home.

"Yes," I said softly, "But it's hard. I love her, Edward. And now… they're going to be_ better_ than I could be. She's going to be happier with them than she is with me. I don't… I'm just being ridiculous. I want her, too, Edward."

He pulled me back to look into his eyes. They were tortured, with years of ancient sadness in them. His voice sounded determined though.

"Then you have to take her."

I shook my head immediately, wiping away the tears.

"You don't get it, do you Edward?" I asked him quietly as I kissed his cheek. My voice shook, but I didn't care. "I want this for her; I want one of these families for her. They can give her love and money and security.

"But so can we," Edward said quietly in my ear. I shook my head, twirling his fingers as I tried to clarify.

"Not without endangering her life. I'm not going to be able to… see her. This is better, I know it is."

Edward seemed like he was forcing the next words from his mouth, although his face gave nothing away. "You don't have to be changed."

I rolled my eyes at him, which were probably puffy and swollen, and shook my head.

"Stop trying to force me away. You're stuck with me forever."

He smiled softly, stroking my cheek as I tried to wipe away the tears from my eyes. "I like that."

"Good," I said, looking up to grin weakly at him, "Because I really don't think you had a choice."

Edward shrugged, rocking me back and forth slowly as he leaned his head back against the sofa. I snuggled against him, trying to gather myself together. I was embarrassed by my rash actions in the dining room, and I didn't want to go back in there with a swollen face.

I was also thinking about the families.

We'd had a few families interviewed. Some were plain; some had children of their own. Some had steady jobs, but horrible attitudes, while others were poor and jobless, with no children. With many families, it wasn't very difficult to get rid of them, because Edward would simply tell me what they were thinking later. In some cases, I wanted to smack the families, but Edward would have done that if it was bad enough. Now there were three families, and I had to decide soon.

We had more interviews, more schedules and layouts, but already I felt myself getting pounded by all of the pressure building on the next months.

When I was ready, we stood again while Edward walked with me into the dining room. I blushed, covering my face with my hands as I looked at the understanding face of Carina.

"Sorry," I whispered, blushing as Edward snuggled me against his side once again. Carina just smiled at me, standing up to cross the table. She gripped my hand in mine, and her eyes were full of understanding that I found myself smiling weakly in return.

"What you're doing is _completely_ understandable," she assured me. I nodded weakly as she stood to smooth out her white skirt. "Well, we'll let you go. Just call us, please?"

I nodded gently as she smiled again, Aiden coming over to shake hands with Edward. Carina winked and grabbed Aiden by the arm, dragging him out of the dining room. With a wave, they got into their car and left.

Alice didn't waste any time.

"Okay, so just because we have things with Annabel going on doesn't give you the right to slack off on your responsibilities. We still need to book the reception, set a guest list, test out cakes, test out_ outfits_, try on outfits, look at makeup, determine a color scheme, book the church, find more bridesmaids, ask said bridesmaids, lose five pounds, go to the mall, get you mentally ready, make sure you're not getting cold feet…"

"Alice," I said, trying to sound stern. I hope the panic in my voice didn't give me away. I heard Emmett's booming laugh from the other room as he came in, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Man Bella," I heard him chuckle lightly as he shook his head, "I haven't seen you this scared since… well, ever!"

I tried to growl at him, the way I'd heard Edward playfully snarl at him in the past, but it came out more of a grumble. My weak attempts only made Emmett laugh louder, ruffling my hair playfully as I blushed crimson. Alice waved a hand off, ignoring the minor distraction, and continued to ramble off a long list of overwhelming tasks that needed to be completed.

Edward's grip loosened, and he pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out an exasperated sigh.

"Bella, love, I have to get out of here. Alice's thoughts are crazy and some…well…"

I cast him a confused look, but he just grimaced and glared at Alice. He patted my shoulder like I was a pal or buddy, something he'd never done, and left the room. What was his problem?

"I was thinking about after the wedding," Alice explained casually. I blushed, burying my face in my hands as Emmett burst out laughing.

"It's no big deal," Alice defended herself, her eyes glazing over temporarily. I blushed again, curling in against myself to try to make myself appear smaller. "I'm thinking of where to go for lingerie…ah! I see it! Oh Bella it's_ perfect_."

"Alice!" I hissed, glaring at her. She just shrugged, indifferent to my annoyance. "Can you not talk about this now? And stop _thinking_ about it!"

"Oh Bella," Esme said, walking in the room to pat my shoulder gently, "There is nothing wrong with buying clothes for an intimate night. You two have waited long enough, and there's nothing wrong with two people in love wanting to…"

I groaned, throwing my head back. "Are you seriously going to do this Esme?"

She opened her mouth slowly, and then closed it with an audible snap.

"No, I guess not," she finally said after a moment. "If you have any questions, though…"

"Esme!" I yelled, ignoring the fact that Emmett was full out hysterical now. Esme looked embarrassed, pulling on one of her curls as she bit her lip.

"I should go?" She asked, staring towards the door.

"Err, well we kind of need you for shopping…" Alice said, motioning towards the car sitting just outside the large window. Esme sighed, throwing me an apologetic glance as she nodded.

"Of course, and I promise, I won't talk about anything inappropriate," she reassured me. I sighed gratefully as she linked arms with me, both of us forgetting the past five minutes easily as we walked toward the car.

--

"Edward, aren't you going to come over?" I asked him, twiddling the phone cord between my fingers as I stared out the window. Annabel was crawling around my bedroom floor, pounding her small fists against the carpet as she glanced up at me every few moments. She really enjoyed knowing people were watching her.

"Sorry love," Edward said, sounding distracted, "Emmett really wants to play video games… Jasper, give me the damn phone!"

I heard two growls as the phone line crackled. After a moment, I heard Edward's snarls and Emmett's loud laughter. I could only imagine what was going on.

"Hey Bella!" Jasper greeted me happily as I imagined him lying on Edward's new bed with his ankles crossed. "Edward can't come over because Alice can't stop thinking about you in the underwear you tried on earlier. It's driving him crazy, not to mention how it's making me feel. He doesn't want to come and risk a… promise?"

I heard another growl and a snap. I blushed, burying my face against the pillow. I looked up, forcing myself to watch Annabel crawl to her pink teething ring, placing her small mouth on it as she gurgled happily.

"Oh," I said stupidly, for lack of anything else to say.

"Man, Bella!" I heard Emmett call, "I can hear your heartbeat all the way from over here!"

"Shut up," I said, blushing. "I'm about to go. Annabel needs to eat anyways."

"Bye Bella!" Jasper and Emmett sang at the same time. I laughed; glad they weren't lingering on the details of Edward's feelings. He would break his promise? I didn't think it was possible, because Edward and I were both completely determined.

Annabel let out a cry, signifying that it definitely was time to feed her, and I leapt off the bed.

"Goodbye Edward, I love you," I said quickly, flipping the phone shut as I reached down to snatch Annabel into my arms.

"It's okay, baby," I whispered to her, running downstairs to feed her the can of mashed sweet potatoes that Alice had picked out, saying that 'Annabel is going to love these'. After she'd made a mess of her shirt, spitting up its contents all over her bib, and I'd cleaned her up, we went upstairs together. Her crib was bigger now; she'd quickly outgrown the other one. It was large and bright, but I still went with the pink crib; she couldn't sleep without something pink with her.

"Go to sleep," I tried to command her, staring into her beautiful, drooping eyes. She smiled at me, reaching a hand up to pat my face. She smiled, showing a single dimple that I'd never seen before. Then, in a high pitched, beautiful voice, she said the one thing I'd never expected to hear.

"Mama!"

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a:n/ am i starting to bore you? please let me know. i dont want you to stop reading and reviewing! unfortunately, i'm skipping a little bit. the next chapters will have 5 month segments, where one big thing happens in each month leading up to the wedding.

**my updates will now be coming every other day**

i know, i know. sometimes, if i can, i'll surprise you with a quicker update. but for now i've got high school on my mind and loads of projects. If you guys surprise me with a lot of reviews though, i'll probably go every day :D

remember to review, and thanks to everybody!

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**[ SNEAK PEEK ]**

I just don't know what I'm going to do anymore.


	28. Our Secret

hey guys! im going to get my hair done, figured i'd upload this really quick because you completely deserve this

thanks to my amazing beta** Angels for Airwaves,** i dont know how many times i can say uh-mazing, but you are

this chapter is dedicated to **Sesshy Rin 4ever** and **Rae2404,** for speaking your minds. I love hearing what you think, and i'll take what you said into consideration next time rae (:

**disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters

* * *

**11 months until the wedding**

I just didn't know what I was going to do anymore. Everything was so complicated. It had been one month since Annabel had said the beautiful word. Mama. For being so simple, so small and innocent, it completely confused my entire state of mind.

Some days I would ask Edward not to stay the night, just to spend time with her alone. I would beg her to call me mama again, and only when we were completely alone would she utter the two syllable word that made me want to both cry and scream in joy.

I couldn't dare tell Edward what was bothering me. He'd noticed, over the past few weeks, that I'd become more and more secluded, and once he'd caught the red rims around my eyes when Alice had had a vision of me calling her in the middle of the night. Alice knew my troubles, and I owed her the world for not telling Edward what was bothering me.

I couldn't leave him. It wasn't a possibility I could even begin to think of. Just the thought made my heart clench and swell, sending me into a fit of sobs. But I knew now that I couldn't live without her, either.

That left me with nothing but confusion and migraines.

********

"Hello? Yes, this is Edward Cullen speaking for Bella Swan, the legal guardian of Annabel."

Edward balanced the phone between his shoulder and his ear, kissing my ring finger gently as his cool breath made me shiver. Rosalie had asked to take Annabel to the park to play in the leaves, desperate to spend a day out with her before it grew too cold. Alice had jumped on the opportunity to go shopping for her, and Jasper and Emmett had tagged along to be with their wives. Carlisle and Esme had left for a long weekend,

I felt guilty, and that's why Edward was the one doing the talking. His ability to cover his emotions and speak with an apologetic yet businesslike manner made him the more logical choice for this particular phone call.

It didn't make me feel any better when I heard her breath hitch in hope on the other side of the line.

"Yes?"

Her voice was hushed, whispered, and I heard her call for her husband. A stab of guilt washed over me as I realized that every single person wanted the beautiful girl, and that every couple could handle loving her and caring for her with more than enough room to spare.

At least I knew that this couple would have their happy ending. Alice saw that in two months, she was going to find out that she was expecting. It made me feel better, knowing that at least they would be happy in the end. Alice saw that a phone call was better, because if I saw their tears and anguish, I would quickly go back on my decision. We couldn't have that, because I had to narrow the choices down. That task was harder than it sounded.

"Bella and I don't know how to say this, but we're afraid that we have decided to go with another family."

It was quiet for a moment, and then I heard it. The heart wrenching, bone chilling scream as it died into a sob.

"_No_," she begged us, "_Please_. I need her."

I grabbed the phone with trembling hands. I heard her husband sobbing too on the other line, and tears were streaming down my cheeks as I spoke.

"Please listen to me," I said through my tears. This was much, much harder than I thought it was going to be. "_Lilia_, Lilia listen to me. I have…no doubt in my mind that you're an amazing woman. Peter… you have to understand… this is so hard for me too. I know that no matter what, you're going to be _happy_. Don't stop trying, and I promise you that something better is going to come along. Trust me on this, okay? Please?"

I heard another sob breaking through the speaker, one that matched my own. I wasn't sure how long we cried for, Peter probably cradling her to his chest the way Edward was doing to me now. It could have been hours, but after a while I hear a sniffle and a small sigh. Seconds later, a bright hiccup followed by a tiny laugh.

"I'm sorry," we whispered at the same time. She hiccupped again, and then sighed.

"I kind of was hoping that wasn't going to happen," she said quietly, "But I could kind of tell. It was a sense, some sort of feeling I got. I was still hoping, though…"

I was thinking about how bright she was - her fiery red hair and her beautiful smile as she laughed. Peter, with his easygoing attitude and youthful face. I almost rethought my words before I realized that this was the best for everybody. We had to give Annabel to a family that could handle more. After their baby, they wouldn't be able to take care of her and devote the same amount of attention to her that we all knew she deserved.

"You're going to be a great mother to somebody," I promised her, careful not to say 'Benjamin', the name that Alice saw them naming their baby boy. I sank into Edward's chest, feeling his arms tighten around my waist as I gratefully accepted the pressure. A cool cheek laid on my head as buried his nose and smelling the flavor that drove him insane. Then he laid his cheek against my forehead, stroking my cheek absently with one of his long fingers.

"I hope so. No regrets, right?"

"Right," I agreed, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry it had to be over the phone, though."

"It's okay," she said softly, "No regrets. I hope that it all works out, though."

After we'd hung up, after a slightly teary goodbye, I closed my eyes tightly. Edward shifted me so I was lying with my head against his sculpted chest as I shook softly.

I looked up at him desperately, my eyes begging him to answer the question I was too afraid to ask.

"Yes, love. You did the right thing," he assured me, stroking my cheek. I nodded as he pressed his lips against mine softly.

It must have been my anguished mood, but I was in desperate need of_ feeling_. I wanted to feel his lips against mine; I needed to feel his hands on my back as he pulled me closer to him. I pressed my lips to his, and he roughly returned the kiss, feeling the same desperation that I was. His lips attacked mine, and in the moments when I needed air, his lips traveled to my neck, my collarbone, my throat. I felt my heart pounding against his chest, felt every line of myself pressed against his as he laid us down on the coach. When he finally pulled away, we were both panting for breath. My cheeks were flushed, and a small grin was spreading over my face.

What I didn't expect was the way his eyes raked over my body. I shivered involuntarily as he traced a cool finger over the exposed flesh of my stomach, drawing circles there absently.

"You know," he said, his voice husky, "You're kind of beautiful."

I blushed, shaking my head. I reached a hand up to grip his face, pulling it against mine again. Without his allowance, I wouldn't have been able to succeed, but he allowed his lips to meet mine again urgently as he pulled me closer against him. I spoke in the moments that he took to allow me to breathe, which wasn't very often.

"No…you're beautiful."

I didn't want to stop. It seemed like he didn't either. It was some sort of promise we were making, that this was okay, that this was right. He pulled back, his eyes somehow dark and burning although he'd just fed.

"Eleven months to wait, are you sure?"

His question was unexpected. It took me by surprise, and I couldn't think of saying what I wanted without making it seem like I didn't want _him_. Because in truth, he was all I wanted. He was all I could ever need.

"Sure," I said reluctantly, gasping for air. A smile spread over his face as he ran his fingertips up my arm.

"Sure you want to wait, or sure as in 'to hell with the promise?'"

I thought about it for a moment. I knew that we'd regret it though, if we were to commit such a special act like this, in a desperate attempt to prove that what we were doing was right.

I wasn't going to lose my most sacred virtue because of my thirteen month old sister.

"I'm sure I want to wait," I said after a moment. Edward grinned, pressing his lips to my forehead once again as he stood, offering me his hand. I took it gratefully as he turned back to me, a taunting smile on his face.

"You're right," he said solemnly after a moment, "We would have regretted that."

I flashed him a smile, "I'm not sure about _that_, but I did make a promise."

"All the same," he said after a moment, "It's nice that I can have that kind of effect on you."

I raised my eyebrows at him, my heart slowing in my chest. All it took was his heartbreaking smile to send it into another sprint.

"And do I have no effect on you whatsoever?"

He stopped to look at me and his eyes grew soft. He turned to me, wrapping me in a hug – something he hadn't done in a long time. When he let me go after a long while, he smiled down at me crookedly.

"You wouldn't even begin to understand how much of an effect you have over me."

I smiled as we walked into the kitchen, waiting for our family to come home.

*********

"Wedding cake!" Rosalie yelled with Alice as they strolled into the room. It had been a week since Edward and I had told Lilia and Peter that they weren't going to be the right adoptive parents for Annabel. I'd had a nightmare the night after, but Edward simply woke me and chased away the dream with calm, soothing words and his arms protective around me as he rocked me back to sleep.

Now it was wedding preparation time. Emmett and Edward had accompanied Marta and Robert to the park to tell me how they interacted with Annabel. Alice and I would be following Carina and Aiden next week, tailing them to see how they treated her. But for now Alice and Rosalie had planned a day of wedding arrangements and cake testing.

Joy.

I was kind of excited, in a way. Alice knew the mental battle that I was facing, and she was secretly hoping, I knew, that this would help me try to see that everything could work out. So now Alice, Esme and Rosalie carried in a large white box with an elegant script name on it. They laid it on the table in a flourish, lifting the lid to reveal an assortment of three to four dozen cake pieces.

"Since we can't very well eat them, you're going to have to try them out for yourself," Alice chirped as she skipped around the room. "You're going to get confused after a while, so we'll keep tabs and mark which ones you don't want."

"Why would you do all this?" I mumbled as I stared at my stomach. It was flat; something that I took a small bit of pride in, and I could only imagine what eating this much cake would do to me.

"Eat this one!" Esme said, clapping her hands as she slid a piece of chocolate cake under my nose. I took the fork they'd given me – one of many – and slid a small bite into my mouth. This continued for two hours, stopping only to watch TV or give me a chance to drink some water. They had a great nature about it, each of them picking out a certain piece and sliding it in front of me.

"Is this really necessary?" I begged them as I glanced at the box. There was still another dozen pieces of cake, each with their own unique flavor and texture. I was starting to feel nauseous.

"Relax Bella," Rosalie scolded me, sliding a piece of marble cake under my nose. Her nose was scrunched, but she has a small smile on her face.

"This cake was always my favorite," she explained as she watched me lift the piece reluctantly to my mouth. I took a bite and sighed.

"This is it," I said as I took another – something I hadn't yet done. It was perfect. "Can we get this one?"

She broke out in a huge grin, showing her palm to Alice and wiggling her fingers. She winked at me and shook her fingers again.

"Pay up, looks like the psychic was _wrong_!"

Alice was staring at me, open mouthed as Esme laughed quietly. Alice glared at me, reached into her pocket, and pulled out two one hundred dollar bills. Rosalie nodded in appreciation and tucked one into my shirt, tapping my shoulder as she danced around Alice.

"Enjoy, Bella."

I reached down, pulling out the crumpled bill.

"Hmm, what can I use this for?" I mused, staring at the picture of Benjamin. "Maybe I'll buy some new clothes for Annabel; she's just growing so fast…"

Esme came to sit beside me, pushing the cakes gently aside as she took the bill from my hands. She looked at it, folded it, and then handed it back to me.

"You know very well that we're going to be more than happy to pay for anything that Annabel needs," she reminded me. It was true, they bought Annabel more clothes than I could hope for, and Alice was stocking up for her future years until she was five. It tortured me to know that I wouldn't be there for her when she was in need of me most.

_Mama._

"I know that," I said softly, my voice cracking. I looked up at her, blinking back the tears that were spilling over my cheeks. She muttered something before wrapping her arms around me, pulling me against her as I shook.

"You don't have to do this," she said softly, her own voice wavering in its bell-like perfection as she looked down into my eyes. "You know that Edward would love you, that he would wait until she was older. We can vanish, we can leave, and you can have her. It's that simple. You could have your happiness. You can grow old, and you can marry and have children and watch Annabel struggle through life and you can be happy that way. None of us would hold that against you, especially not Edward. "

I looked up at her, openmouthed.

"B-But I couldn't _live_ like that," I wailed, burying my face against her ice cold chest. "I need you! I need Alice and Rosalie and Carlisle. I need _Edward_! I can't live without you, I need this. I need this I need this I need this…"

My sobs died down after a while, and my chanting stopped as she hummed softly in my ear. It didn't stop my thoughts from running through my mind.

Could I do this? Could I be strong enough to give up the baby that had changed my life so completely?

I didn't know the answer to that.

But I did know this. Edward meant the world to me, Edward was my everything. Without him, I would be faced with pain unimaginable and unbearable, just like the hole that was filling my chest now at the simple thought. No, life like that wouldn't be happy, wouldn't be filled with love.

Because, if I didn't have Edward, I would be nothing. And nothing would make a hell of a parent for a tiny beautiful girl who deserved the world.

I couldn't be the world without Edward.

**10 months until the wedding**

"Emmett, give her back!"

Emmett laughed, racing around the house with a giggling Annabel in his arms. He was one of the only one of us who didn't try to move slowly when she was with him. Instead, he would cradle her against his chest and race around the house, taking her to the lake and running across it as water sprayed up onto her face as she giggled.

I couldn't believe I was even trying to bargain over this.

"Give me back my baby or I'm going to get Edward to attack you when they get back," I threatened him menacingly. He just shrugged, tossing her up into the air, careful not to actually let her out of his grasp. Although Emmett ran with her, he was still intelligent, and therefore knew enough that Annabel landing in stone arms would severely bruise and hurt her. So he held her and tickled her – gently for him – and watched her giggle with warm, caring eyes.

She looked up at me, reaching her arms desperately toward my position on the coach. It wasn't the first time that she'd wanted away from one of her vampire fans to get to me, but it was one of her most impatient moments that I'd seen thus far. She pouted her lip, jutting it out and making a fist with her hand as she pounded on Emmett's arm gently. She knew not to pound hard, because unlike me, she was immediately aware of their danger. But, unlike me, their physical appearances didn't send her heart into a sprint and their loving smiles didn't make her eyes glaze over. Carlisle would laugh at my annoyance and say that it was either because she was very stubborn or just so used to being around such beauty it no longer had an effect on her.

I walked over to her, reaching my hands out the same time she did, and took her gently into my arms. She looked up at me, her eyes angry and desperate as she tapped my face.

"Mama, hun-gy."

Emmett froze. It was the first time that we'd been alone together – Emmett was the only family member who'd stayed behind to watch Annabel. He'd be hunting later – and he looked at me skeptically with raised eyebrows.

"She just called you mama." It wasn't a question. I nodded slowly, pressing her closer against my chest. She looked up at me again, her extraordinary eyes annoyed as she jutted out her lower lip.

"Mama," she said in a demanding tone, "Hun-gy."

Emmett had heard her speak before; everybody had heard her say hun-gy and firsty and pody along with many other simple words. She was an intelligent girl, and sometimes she even spoke in short, clipped sentences. When Edward had first heard her say his name, he'd beamed and played with her for two hours straight, trying to convince her to say it again. Her 'first' word had been fog, for the large, stuffed green frog that Carlisle had bought her one day. Edward was over, watching television, and she looked us both in the eyes seriously before pointing at the large animal.

"Fog," she'd informed us, "Geen fog."

Edward had been, least to say, ecstatic. It had taken me an hour to convince him not to enroll her in preschool for knowing the exact color and animal. Although I had to admit, my heart swelled with pride at her knowledge. She was so smart; she may have even put Edward to shame one day. He was a perfect father, somebody strong and smart and beautiful. His pride in Annabel amazed me, even if we both knew the short amount of time we had left.

"She said Mama," Emmett said again. I couldn't do anything but nod and turn to walk into the kitchen. He followed behind me though, and I was surprised that for a man as big as him, that his footsteps didn't make any sound. "How long?"

I knew I was caught, and I spun on my heels to look at him as I placed Annabel in her high chair.

"Let me explain, please. It's just… if Edward knew, he would start to worry that I was changing my mind. He would think that because of this, I was having regrets about the wedding."

Emmett sat next to me, taking the baby spoon as he fed the meal to Annabel. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.

"Are you? Having second thoughts, I mean?"

I looked down at my hands, tears welling up in my eyes. Emmett looked startled, but placed a hand on my shoulder as his eyes met mine.

"Don't tell him, please," I said, my voice cracking as I twisted my fingers together. I looked up at him, rubbing the back of my hand against my eyes as I looked out the window, ashamed. "I want him, Emmett. I need him. Not marrying him isn't an option, but… I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I could have both of them."

Emmett looked at me sadly, then back at Annabel. He put the spoon down on the table, Annabel keeping quiet. She knew that this was important, somehow.

"Bella," he said, "You know we love her. We all do. Especially Rosalie, you know how she gets with her. We all love her, and we all want her. But we want you too, and we can't have you if we take her. We can't take her without risking her life."

I looked away again, a blush clouding my cheeks. This blush wasn't in embarrassment, though, it was anger and rage at myself. More than that, it was shame at my selfish thoughts and actions. Emmett realized what I was thinking, and disbelief clouding his face as he turned to meet my eyes.

"Bella, you're not seriously thinking of letting her be changed, are you?"

I looked down, shaking my head as tears dripped onto my hands clasped around his.

"I know I couldn't do it," I said softly, "I couldn't risk her life like that. She deserves a choice, you know? She deserves a happiness that I couldn't give her. When she's grown, and she meets a boy, she should be able to be with him. If she was a vampire, she'd be alone, and an outcast for sixteen years until she could be changed. Not to mention that her life wouldn't have a choice, her path would be chosen for her. All the awkward stages of childhood would mean nothing with her knowing that there would be no hope in letting her make relationships. I love her, but I want what's best for her."

My voice broke as I started to sob, the cold hard truth smacking me in the chest as I choked out the last words with a tortured, anguished breath.

"I. Am. Not. What's. _Best_."

Emmett sighed, kissing my hair gently. He ran upstairs for a moment, and it was then that I realized that Annabel was gone too. I sighed when I realized that Emmett was putting her to sleep, leaving us time to talk. He was back in a flash, moving us to the couch.

"Listen to me Bella," he commanded me, his voice stern. I nodded, slightly glad that somebody wasn't feeling bad for me anymore. "You have two choices. You can be with Annabel, or you can be with Edward. There is no in-between. So you better think about it and make your decision really quickly, because with your fiancée being a mind reader, keeping something like this from him is going to be tricky. I'm going to last a month, maybe. At least."

I nodded, taking the tissue he handed me gratefully. I twisted the bracelets from Edward and Scott, a nervous habit that had developed after the whole adoption mess started.

"Just don't tell him about the mama thing," I begged him, "I'll tell him in a little bit. I promise. I just… I don't want to hurt him. Please, try. I'll talk to him. I promise."

Emmett nodded, scooping me into his arms as he carried me up to Edward's bed. I sighed, hiccupping as he placed a glass of water on the end table.

"Think hard Bella. Because I can't promise you that everything is going to be perfect from here on out, and you've got ten months until the big day. You have to think seriously, and you have to make up your mind. We can't keep this up for a very long time."

I nodded, burying my face in Edward's pillow and breathing in his intoxicating scent.

"Our secret?" I whispered as he turned off the light. I heard his soft chuckle, and his kind words as he spoke. I really owed Emmett.

"Our secret."

* * *

sorry you guys, that's all i got. i had to run, my mom was yelling at me. as i promised, it's 8 o'clock here now. it WAS 3, but what can you do? :D

it's going to be like this for a little, remember to review and tell me your thoughts. i really do love them and i do listen to them!

Show me some love, **it takes me hours to write these chapters, and i really would like some feedback**. you guys are amazing (:

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

He paused, looking at me carefully. It wasn't the anger I was hoping for on his face, though. His eyes glazed over, and a helpless look crossed his beautiful features as he reached a hand up to touch my face, pulling it back after a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?"


	29. Decisions

Big thanks to my beta, **Angels for Airwaves** :D

This chapter is dedicated to** Navywife508**, I hope you're feeling better!

**Disclaimer**: Twilight and all related characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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**9 1/2 months until the wedding**

It had been just over two weeks since I'd confided my troubles to Emmett. He'd done a great job at keeping it a secret, but Edward was constantly getting more and more suspicious every day. Today we were having a quiet afternoon as a future family, just hanging out together. We'd invited Charlie to come over, but he rejected, saying that he had things to do at home.

Alice and Emmett were in the middle of a game of charades, something I could never understand. I never quite got how two vampires could have so much fun jumping around the living room, but they did.

"A cat?" I guessed. Alice was walking around on the mantle of the fireplace, shaking her butt in the air as she 'licked' her paws.

At my guess, she clapped and jumped up and down.

"One point for us!"

Jasper rolled his eyes as he picked a card. "That's not fair Al, you get to see which moves work."

"And you have a vampire brain," she shot back, smiling, "Keep up."

I laughed as Jasper got up reluctantly, doing some weird move. Emmett was practically jumping up and down, but he couldn't seem to guess it. I heard Edward's laugh as he watched his family. Annabel was sitting on my lap, cooing and giggling at the boys as they both let out simultaneous cries of annoyance.

Clearly, charades wasn't their game.

Annabel looked at Edward, reaching her arms out to him. He accepted her gratefully, stroking her and lifting her to his face. She then spoke the words that brought my life crashing down around me.

"Dada."

He looked at her, unblinking for a moment, before a wide grin spread over his face.

"Say that again?" He asked her, tickling her stomach. We now had the attention of the room, and Annabel chose this moment to comply with his request. She patted his face gently, poking his nose with a tiny finger.

"Dada," she said.

Edward beamed again, looking up at me. His smile was quickly wiped away though, as he turned to look at Emmett with unblinking eyes.

"What?" He whispered softly. My heart sped up, and I buried my face in my hands as I peeked up at him through my eyelashes. He turned to me, his expression confused. "Why was Emmett thinking..._that_?"

I looked up at him, ashamed. "I was going to tell you. I just … wanted time."

He looked at Annabel again, stroking her cheek with one of his long, cold fingers.

"Why though?"

I smiled weakly, reaching out to touch the back of his hand.

"I just didn't want to admit that I liked it," I whispered after a moment. The room had cleared out, everything going back to its normal place. The words were like gravel in my throat; hard, choked and unwilling to move. "I didn't want you to know because I want us to be happy. And I didn't want you to think I was having second thoughts. Please don't be mad."

He looked away, focusing on the wall. After a moment he turned back to me, ocher eyes flashing with sadness. He covered it weakly, throwing me a smile that would convince anybody but me.

"I believe you," his smooth voice said, "I just need some time to think. I'm not mad at you, love. _Never _doubt that. I just want some time to talk to Carlisle."

I knew that he might have just been saying it for my benefit, but I couldn't help it. I let out a shaky smile and held Annabel closer to my chest.

"Okay," I whispered, feeling guilty as he ran out of the room. I knew that he thought I couldn't trust him; that I couldn't tell him everything. But the truth was that I simply knew that he would put himself through too much agony arguing with himself. "I love you, Edward."

-----

Too much time to think wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" Edward murmured, his breath shocking and cool in my ear. I spun around quickly, startled by his sudden appearance. He chuckled, a crooked grin spreading over his features as he whispered, "Boo."

"Hi," I managed after a moment of deep breathing exercises that I'd taught myself over the past few months. His eyes were worried, though, even though his crooked smile was spread over his beautiful face.

"Love," he asked again, softer this time. I had to strain to hear him. "What's bothering you? You know I'm not mad, right? Jasper says you're feeling… depressed. Tell me what I can do, Bella. Anything, anything at all, to make you feel happy."

I could see it pained him to choke out the simple word that about summed up the entire mess I was in, so I forced a grim smile on my face as I pecked his cheek, refusing to let any of my pain show. Pain for me was doubled, if not tripled for Edward, and I would not put him through that.

I didn't think words would be my ally at this point, so I just shook my head furiously as I blinked back tears.

"Edward, I think I'm just feeling tired," I said after a moment. It wasn't necessarily a lie; nights staying up with a fussy baby could make you easily ready to collapse without warning – I'd done it once or twice. "It's not anything you need to worry about, though."

Edward looked me in the eyes, though, his gaze penetrating as I felt the familiar feeling of when his dark eyes met mine. Under everything, all the pain and torment and sudden, unexplainable relief, my heart began to race in my chest.

"Bella," he growled. I shrank back, startled. He shook his head, and I saw that his eyes were filled with the same misery that mine were. The anger in his voice had been unintentional, and his voice now sank to the beautiful, honey sound that I loved. A strange tone covered his words, though. "Bella, how can I not worry about you? You're always in the worst scenarios, doing whatever the hell you can to get into trouble. No, I'll rephrase that. Trouble always does whatever it can to find _you_."

I grimaced at him, turning my gaze away.

"For your information, Edward," I said coolly, then softened it at his wounded expression, "Sorry, Edward. It's just… it's not like you're never here to save me is all. I have you."

He looked away from me, suddenly finding great interest in the picture hanging on the wall.

"E-Edward," I stumbled, my voice shaking with anxiety. It rose two octaves, a high pitched plea as I tried to force him to look at me. He complied after a moment, his gaze meeting mine slowly. "Edward… Edward what… You're always here to save me."

He looked at me then, full on, and the force of it was almost staggering. The next words were soft, pleading, and tortured.

"What if I'm not?"

I looked at him, shaking my head furiously.

"Edward, Edward you're always the best! I need you here; do you get what I'm saying? I need you like I need air! More than I need air! You can't say things like that! You're going to scare me and then I don't know what I would do if you left me and Edward oh Edward please don't _ever_ say that!"

He looked at me, his eyes sad as he pushed back a strand of hair that had escaped my ponytail. After a moment, he kissed me urgently. His hands pressed my closer to him desperately, and I couldn't help but return his eagerness. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling myself closer as he pressed us against the wall. I couldn't help my heart racing as he refused to let me go, and when I went to breath he would only grant me a few seconds as his lips traveled to my neck.

"I love you I love you I love you," he chanted when his lips were free. It wasn't the same kiss we'd shared before, though. This one was urgent, desperate, as if we only had so much time.

This kiss worried me.

He did something I'd never expected him to. His hand traveled to my waist, pulling me up so my legs were wrapped around him. I stopped, my heart hammering as I looked at him with confused and disbelieving eyes.

"Easier," he explained as he attacked me again. I was gasping for breath, and after a long while he pulled away. A sheepish grin spread over his face, and he unwrapped me from around him to sit me on the couch.

"Well," I managed, too scared to say what I really wanted. The kiss was almost a plea, begging me to understand something. I wasn't going to tell him that I was scared of what that something might be.

"I have to talk to you," he said quietly as he grinned weakly at me, walking out of the room. He was back in a moment with Annabel, buckling her into the car seat.

Now I was nervous.

Edward led the way into my living room, setting down the neon car seat that Alice had picked out just inside the doorway. He took off my coat, his gaze not meeting mine as he set it on the hanger. I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my temples with my free hand as I wheeled the car seat – with Annabel inside – into the kitchen. Annabel squealed at the sudden rush, but I barely had the energy to shake the seat and laugh like I normally did.

"Hey kids," Charlie greeted us when we walked inside.

"Hello Charlie," Edward greeted him, putting on a false smile, "Would you mind if Annabel had a sleepover with you? Bella's too embarrassed to ask, but she's stressed with school and Annabel and we think she's on overload."

I tried to smile, but my attempt was weak. This only made Charlie see Edward's reasoning more, and he quickly nodded.

"How late are you staying?" He asked Edward as he lifted Annabel out of her car seat. He stroked her hair, pressing her face against his chest as his eyes glanced nervously at me.

"Not that late, I promise," Edward said solemnly, and I felt my heart lurch. He wasn't planning on staying?

Charlie just nodded though, walking over to kiss my forehead.

"Just relax today," he said to me softly, "I've got Annabel. You've got so much stuff Bells, it's amazing that you've been as good as you have. I'd have cracked a long time ago."

His backhanded compliment almost made me smile, but I knew he meant the best. I nodded, giving him a one armed hug, considering he had Annabel in his arms, and turned to follow Edward shakily up the stairs.

He led the way to my room, opening the door quietly. Even through it all, the heart pounding fear, the clammy hands and the migraine beginning to set it, I was still mesmerized by his beauty. He let me walk in before him, but past me to glance out the window at the wet mix of snow and rain falling.

He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it, opening again to let his velvet words try to phrase what he wanted to say.

"I just-"

He paused, looking at me carefully. It wasn't the anger I was hoping for on his face, though. His eyes glazed over, and a helpless look crossed his beautiful features as he reached a hand up to touch my face, pulling it back after a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I bent my head down, shaking it back in forth in a sort of denial to myself. My eyes watered as I stared down at my hands in shame.

"S-Sorry, Edward," I whispered, my voice cracking, "Sorry. So Sorry Edward. It's just… ever since she called me mama… I knew that you would love her for it. I knew you would love me for it, and that's what makes this so hard. Because I like hearing her say that, and I love knowing that you love her like your own beautiful little baby. I know that we could be great parents, but I also know that we can't. And it's killing me inside because I just want you both. But I'm not even worth your time or hers, because I'm useless here."

Edward's eyes softened, and he lifted me into his arms. I felt like a child, cradled against him so tightly.

"Listen to me," he commanded, "You're not useless. Bella, there's so much going on with you right now. You can _not_ blame yourself. You've been so strong, and I just want you to be able to tell me everything. So tell me. Everything. Right now."

I looked up at him, a single tear spilling over as it rolled down my cheek. He reached a hand to wipe it away, but I turned my head, burying it in my hands instead. After a few shaky breaths, I looked up to lock my gaze with his.

_What if I'm not?_

"Are you going to leave me, Edward?"

His face crumpled, and he kissed my forehead gently, lingering there. He closed his eyes as he breathed in my scent slowly. When he pulled away, a serene mask was on his face, and his eyes were cold.

"I know how much this decision is killing you inside. Making it for you is the easiest way. So I've chosen. My family's discussed it. We're going to be leaving."

"Edward no," I pleaded with him, reaching out a hand to stroke the back of his. He wrapped his arms around mine, stiff and forced. "Please don't do this to me."

He shook his head, no hint of a smile on his face as I gaped at him in disbelief. "You know that part of you wants this. We're going to leave, Bella. You'll have Charlie and you'll have Annabel. So this is goodbye."

"No," I whispered again, my hand shaking as I removed it from his grasp to touch his face with my finger. "Please."

He looked at me, his eyes cold as he pulled his hands out of mine.

"We're going to tell Marta, Robert, Carina and Aiden that you've changed your mind. Don't worry; we've left you a large sum to take care of expenses. There's enough all the way until she goes to college. Expenses are paid for." He looked at me suddenly, a grim smile on his face as he patted my hand. "Be happy_ Bella. Don't make this all for nothing._"

I looked at him again, my mouth closing and opening quickly as I stumbled for words. I didn't know how much longer I had, and that was killing me inside. Finally, the anger building up inside me, the constant frustration of the past few months, let out in one furious cry.

"No!" I screeched, pounding my pillow furiously with my fists. I threw it at him, hitting him over and over. "You think you can just walk in here and _fix me_, broken old me? When I came here, you just figured that I was an interesting case? Was **I** a _project_?! Was this a _game_ to you? Was it!?"

He looked at me, his eyes flashing what his face would not show. Sadness. Anguish. Hurt.

"No," he said, "This has never been a game to me, Bella. I do love you. You can't ever let yourself forget that. But I'll be…okay with it… if you choose to move on someday."

"No!" I yelled, "Stop talking like you're leaving! I'm not going to let you! You can't _do_ this to me, Edward! You're the only thing here keeping me together and if you leave I'll die inside! And I don't _care_ if that's dramatic, and I don't _care_ if you think that they're just words! They're _my_ words, and they're the_ truth_, and _I need you_!"

He shook his head, again, his cold mask still hard in place.

"Bella… this is for the best." His face became more determined now, and he nodded to himself as he continued. "Yes. You need this, and you know that you want this."

"No!" I yelled at him, waving my hands in the air as I brushed off the tears of anger from my cheeks. It had been a long time since I'd had tears of anger, but they spilled over now as I glared at him. "Edward no! I don't want this! I don't want any of this! I just want these months to be over! I want the wedding, I want you and I want to be with you forever! If you leave me than I'm going to be _nothing_. Nothing Edward!"

I was screeching, but I didn't care. I heard the door open downstairs, and I knew that Charlie had taken Annabel outside. I didn't have enough time to think, though, because Edward was speaking again. His voice was calm and controlled, and it bothered me to no end.

"Bella, you need to calm down."

I laughed bitterly. "Yes, Edward, since you don't care about my _heart_, I'll do whatever you say! Since you don't _love_ me-"

He jumped on me suddenly so I was lying on the bed, him hovering over me. His eyes were furious as he glared at me, but his grip loosened as I wiggled in pain.

"_Never_," he growled, "Never say I don't love you! _Blasphemy_!"

I looked up at him, my anger breaking as I started to cry.

"Then _don't leave me_," I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears poured over. "Please. Please Edward. Don't leave me. I'll do anything you want, I promise. Please don't leave. I'll be nothing. I'll die. Please**… **don't…leave."

Suddenly his hands were shaking. My eyes were closed, but I opened them when I heard him let out an unfamiliar noise. I opened my eyes through my tears, seeing that he was crying too. No tears fell, though his voice was broken and cracking with anguish.

He lifted me so I was cradled in his arms as we both cried.

"Never."

I sighed as I wiped away the final tear, trickling down my cheek. We hadn't spoken since he'd promised not to leave me, and I laid my head against his chest. It must have been hours since my world had almost ended. He lifted my chin to look at me. His eyes were burning with pain and regret.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what I would have done. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I made things worse instead of better. I'm sorry that I got angry at you. I'm never leaving you. Don't say you forgive me, because I would still feel guilty. Don't forgive me. I'm never going to leave you, but I deserve pain for all the pain I've caused you. I deserve the guilt."

I looked at him, opening my mouth to tell him that it was okay, but he covered it. He shook his head sternly, and I sighed.

"Relax," he said softly, "Please. I have something for you. It was selfish, but I was going to leave it. I wanted… well I wanted you to have a part of me with you."

He stood, and I reluctantly let him leave me, a surge of panic racing through me. He turned to me reassuringly as he walked to my stereo in the corner. He pulled out a disc and slipped it inside, and my lullaby began playing softly through the speakers.

He lifted me in his arms gently, slipping me under the covers. He sat on top, putting his arms behind his head. He kept a safe distance from me as he spoke softly in my ear.

"I'm so sorry my beautiful, charming, gracious, forgiving, loving, understanding, compassionate, amazing, spectacular fiancée. I'm so sorry I can never be enough for you. I will never understand how I've earned your love, even after everything I've done to you. All the pain- "

"Edward," I cut him off, yawning.

"Yes?"

"Go back to the compliments. I don't want to think about the past few hours. And just… hug me. I don't care about the cold."

He didn't say anything, but suddenly he was under the covers with me. I silently thanked myself that I'd worn sweatpants and a sweatshirt – his body temperature had little effect on me.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"Are we done fighting now?" I begged him, closing my eyes.

"Yes, Bella," he said softly, stroking my hair tentatively. "We're done fighting. Forever. Never, ever again."

"I like that," I said softly. I heard his quiet chuckle.

"Me too."

I fell asleep quickly to Edward's soft, loving words and my beautiful lullaby.

**9 months until the wedding**

"Beat you again!"

Jasper turned, exasperated, and looked at Alice and I with frustrated eyes. Emmett punched a fist in the air victoriously, signaling the end of yet another video game. Emmett had won, of course, and now Jasper was confused on how he could have lost.

"This is Halo for crying out loud! You'd think that I'd at least win in a _war_ game."

"It's not a _war_ game," Emmett argued, mocking Jasper's southern accent almost to a tee, "It's a game based on _skill_. You have no skill. I am the gaming master, and Halo is my servant." He stood, stretching dramatically and yawning for effect. "Now, I'm going to retire to… wherever Rosalie is, and please don't ask for a rematch. I'm going to be busy."

I wrinkled my nose, causing him to laugh. I looked out the window, feeling confused again. Ever since the fight with Edward, things had been looking up. Not to mention the relief all the Cullens shared when we walked in, hand in hand, the next day. But after we'd gotten back, and life had restarted, the stress had quickly piled up.

Jasper glanced at me sideways, feeling my joy and annoyance rolling off of me in waves. I shrugged at him, telling him that I didn't really want to talk about my mood. After a moment of staring at the screen, he sighed dejectedly and headed out the door. Alice looked at me, shook her head, and skipped out after Jasper.

I picked up the controller, beating it around for a few moments before I finally decided to give up. Video games weren't really for me anyways – too many buttons to press. I walked into the kitchen carefully, stumbling only twice, to find Esme feeding Annabel some chewy foods.

"Here you go baby," she cooed, giggling with Annabel as she stuck two fingers into her mouth. "No Anza, you can't do that. You have to eat first."

Annabel shook her head; ignoring the nickname Esme had fondly given her two weeks ago. Annabel knew her name, but it was too difficult to pronounce, so Esme had shortened it for her.

"Esme, I'm not feeling well," I admitted quietly after a moment. She turned to me, her motherly face softening as she skittered around the room. Annabel frowned unhappily, reaching out two fingers to scoop up more of the mess while Esme ran back to me with a concerned look on her face.

"Uh, well Bella we have Tums if you want that. Then there's Motrin, Tylenol, Aspirin, Midol…"

I shook my head at her offers though, pulling her away from Annabel.

"I'm more…mentally not feeling well," I said after a while. I almost laughed at the comical look on her face, so I did. Like I said, I was definitely in better spirits, even if nothing had changed.

One thing had, though. I knew Edward was mine. Forever.

"No, I don't think I'm crazy, it's not like that. I just feel tired. I mean I have my senior year of high school –"Good god, had it really been that long already? – "Not to mention I have Annabel to take care of, and Mike Newton won't stop asking me out even though I have Annabel and Edward and I'm getting married! Oh God I'm getting married in only nine months and nothings even ready yet! What am I going to do? And Edward and I still have to figure out the right parents for Annabel and they're both so great because they're both so worthy and Alice keeps doing my homework so I don't fail and she says that she sees me getting A's but I know she's lying for me and I just don't know what to do anymore because every time I try to do something it comes out _wrong_! And I'm so happy that Edward and I are going to be together forever, but I can't get the image of him so hurt out of my mind! Not to mention Annabel keeps crying and I don't have any money and I want to be with you guys and I just want this all to be over and –"

I could have gone on all day, but she put a finger to my lips. She nodded slowly, smoothing out the wrinkleless dress that she was wearing. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight.

"Why don't we just give you a nice bath?" She suggested, "I heard once that those are supposed to make everybody feel better."

A slightly hysterical laugh escaped my lips. I leaned against her shoulder, burying my face against her white dress. All this and she wanted me to _bathe_? I shook my head though, shaking off any attempts to get me into a bath full of lavender and freesia soaps and rose petals. I wasn't in the mood now, nor ever, for that.

She hugged me more tightly against her, stroking my hair as she pulled away. She put on a mock disgusted face, plugging her nose dramatically.

"Yes, you need a bath."

I rolled my eyes but knew that fighting her would be pointless. Carlisle came in, obviously hearing our conversation. It didn't affect me like it may have two months ago – somebody else hearing my confessions. Edward listened to me rant regularly now, saying that it was healthy and normal. It still didn't make me feel like I was boring him any less, though.

Carlisle took Annabel into his arms, murmuring to her as she looked at me with worried eyes. It was strange how my one year old sister could play the role of protector so well. I felt almost guilty that she was so mature; it seemed like she was missing a lot of her young life as a baby because of me.

"Can Annabel come with me?" I asked, reaching my arms out to her. Esme looked at me, debating, and Carlisle looked confused as he handed me Annabel. She kissed my cheek – a cute trait she had picked up from Edward, seeing as every time he saw me he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek – and giggled happily. I turned to Esme, who was taking her from my arms. We both pouted.

"This isn't going to do you any good if you have her with you," Esme objected, spinning around to calm Annabel. Once she got going, there was nothing that stopped her except being outside with the leaves and the trees. But it was once again winter and there was only a month until the next Christmas.

"Fine," I surrendered after a moment, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. She pecked my cheek lightly before stepping out to give me some privacy.

I walked into the bathroom, slipping off my clothes as I stepped into the warm water that Carlisle had no doubt started running when he'd heard us speaking. I sank my head back, closing my eyes as skin absorbed water.

_You're supposed to be relaxing, Bella_, I told myself sternly. I closed my eyes as I listened to a bird chirping outside the window.

"Hey pretty bird," I whispered after it had finished its song, opening my eyes slowly to the light to look at the blue jay just visible between the screens. "You're a very pretty color. I'm sure life's very easy for you, isn't it? No worries about finding the right parents for your babies, I'm sure."

It chirped in agreement, fluttered its wings, and soared directly into the sun. I sighed, closing my eyes and resting until the water cooled. When I got out and towel dried, I'd found that Esme had been right; I did feel better.

I stepped down the stairs, taking them two at a time as I hummed. I was definitely feeling better. Maybe Esme had been right. I looked outside at the snow-covered grass, wishing that more green could just poke through.

"Esme, I'm definitely going to be doing that every week," I announced, laughing. As soon as I stepped into the living room, though, I paused.

"No way."

**

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**A:n/** I'm sorry this took so long to get out. And I'm sorry it's so ramble-y, but it was necessary. Please let me know, the next chapters are going to be flying by.

I have the next chapter fully written and beta-d!

Twenty reviews and I'll grant you all an early update :D

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"We have decided, after much consideration, that you're the right parents for Annabel," he said.

_Remember, if you review you will recieve an EXTENDED peek!_

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	30. Annabel's Family

_In case some of you are interested, I wrote a one-shot. It is in no way related to this story, but filled with fluff :D _

_please vote in my poll in my profile! IT WILL BE CLOSING IN TWO WEEKS!_

Muchas gracias to my beta, **Angels for Airwaves,** for doing a double shift for me. You all owe her. Big :D

I'd love to dedicate this chapter for **Kookiekeziah, Edward-n-bella-fr-eternity1207**, and **zanessa-troyella1032**, because zanessa wrote me a wonderfully long review due to the fact she's forgotten to review. Thanks to everybody!

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

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**6 months until the wedding (3 months skipped!) **

"Edward, seriously, we have to take this back. I know it's three months old, but they must have some sort of refund…"

He laughed carelessly, leaning his head out the window into the falling snow. Annabel laughed with him in the backseat, her eyes twinkling as she watched us both.

"Anza, what's so funny?" Edward asked her, turning around in his seat to smile at her. She grinned, clapping her hands together as she reached out for him. To both of our surprise, she'd sensed something was wrong the next day after our fight. She hadn't looked at Edward for nearly a week, refusing to giggle or smile at anything he said.

Luckily, a little bit of tickling and toys did the trick for clearing up _that _mess.

I was flying high this past three months. Everything was perfect, and I'd redo the fight all over to see that loving look in his eyes when we spoke now. The way he stroked my cheek after kissing me, the way he bent his face just to whisper in my ear when we were alone… we'd been on rocky ground – uncertainty – for so long over the past few months. Sometimes I'd wondered if we were even going to get to the big day at all. But suddenly time was slipping by too quickly, amidst joyous laughter and victorious kisses snuck during family gatherings. I couldn't be happier.

Except for the car.

I was angry they'd bought it for me at first. It was an expensive car, a Volvo S60. I didn't know much about cars, but Edward was extremely pleased at its safety ratings, and he figured that I 'needed something that would be safe for Annabel and myself until the wedding.'

It was a big surprise, to say the least. I was upset I had to leave my red truck, but I didn't put up that much of a fight, mainly because I knew that Edward would just make me drive it anyways. So now it was March, and the wedding was in only six months, and Edward was smiling and turning around to wave to Annabel who we were both getting more and more attached to every day, even though we both knew it was wrong. Especially now.

Edward slipped his hand into mine, squeezing it gently. Even though I was ecstatic over my change in mind and life in the past few weeks, there were times when I'd begin to wallow in self pity and doubt. Edward helped me out of that by either blaming himself once more or showing me that Annabel could be happy with these parents we'd chosen.

"The café, right?" I double checked with him before pulling off the freeway. I knew Edward was worried that the next few hours were going to crumble me, but I was strong now. My life was always difficult, and I'd always had to face challenges. Just because I'd grown weak in the past few months didn't mean that I was still susceptible to breaking over every detail. So I squeezed his hand back, as hard as I could, and smiled at him.

I started to pull out when Edward's hand shot out to rip mine from the steering wheel. I looked at him, confused, right as a semi plowed through the intersection.

"I didn't even see him!" I yelled, looking back at the truck speeding through another intersection. "How in the world did that happen?"

Edward just leaned over and kissed my forehead quickly, motioning towards the green arrow.

"Turn, love."

I did as he said, cursing under my breath as I turned. He chuckled lightly, turning around to wink at Annabel. She rolled her eyes at us; it was hard to believe she was only a year and four months old. Sometimes she acted like she was a teenager.

"What were you like as a baby?" Edward asked me suddenly, leaning over the armrest to speak in my ear. "Did you always have those beautiful eyes? Or did they change sometime later?"

"Edward," I said in a warning tone, "If you don't lean away I think I might just crash."

He chuckled but pulled away, looking intently at me. After a moment, I realized he really wanted me to answer. I thought about what I could remember for a moment, visiting some unpleasant flashes of the past. The ones of my mother no longer affected me; she chose her life, and I was choosing mine. But the moments with Scott I had to quickly skim over, flipping the book of my life back as far as I could. I smiled when I finally remembered.

"One of my first memories," I said slowly, leaning out to check for cars as I turned the steering wheel lightly. The car followed immediately, its actions quick and obedient. "I remember I was… well I was probably five. I went to the lake with my friend Amelia. Our mothers went, and we were playing on the slide all day. We found this frog there, and we decided to play doctor. I remember we tried to bring it home with us, by sneaking it into a bucket of water. Halfway home it jumped out, and we screamed. We weren't exactly quiet about it, either." I laughed again, shaking my head. "Our moms made us go and put it back. They were less than thrilled."

Edward chuckled, and then leaned over again. I didn't look towards him, focusing now only on the road and the next few hours of conversation.

"I meant as a baby. A little tiny baby. What was five month old Isabella Marie Swan like? I'm genuinely curious."

I thought it over for a minute, going over the pictures I'd seen.

"I had blue eyes and pale hair when I was born," I admitted, "But it disappeared after two months. My eyes changed to brown, and my hair shifted to brown too. Sometimes, in the sun though, it still looks red. There's no way that I could have been as smart as Annabel, though. I don't think I said my first word until I was over a year old." I laughed again. "Renee thought I was mentally slow. She had me tested."

Edward's eyes popped out, and he shook his head. "But you're intelligent for a human!"

I laughed again, "Oh thanks for that big compliment."

"No," he corrected himself, "I mean…"

"We're here," I said to Annabel, still smiling as Edward tried to realize how his compliment had turned insulting. I laughed again at his expression as he mulled over the past few moments in his head. I leaned over, kissing his nose gently before grinning.

"Use your big vampire brain to think about it," I told him, patting his cheek gently as I jumped out to grab Annabel's car seat. He beat me to it though, gently grasping it as I sighed, rubbing my hands together.

"Let's go," I said quietly, stepping into the restaurant.

This decision wasn't easy. In fact, it was one of the most difficult I'd ever had to make. After all my consideration, though, I had an answer.

As we walked in, the couple waved us over, smiling broadly. They were seated in a corner of the room, cookies and coffee on their plates. I saw that they'd gotten one for me, but left one alone for Edward. They knew he didn't eat, after all the time we'd spent together over the past few months. Their maturity was part of the reason that I'd picked them.

They obviously had a guess at why I'd called them so urgently last week, telling them that I'd reached a decision. And based on the tone I must have used, they'd obviously come to a conclusion by themselves.

Unfortunately, telling the other couple that we wouldn't be able to let them adopt Annabel was difficult. I was thankful that they'd been understanding, her eyes tear-filled but warm as she hugged me.

"No hard feelings," she'd whispered to me. Why was it that every time I broke somebody's heart and dreams, they turned around and forgave me without a second thought? It was confusing, whatever it was.

Maybe I was sending off some sort of vibe.

"Hello," I greeted them as Edward lifted Annabel to sit in the high chair. She kicked her feet though, reaching forward with giggling hands as she cried for her future mother. She grinned, accepting Annabel as her eyes filled with tears.

"So beautiful," she murmured, her husband reaching over to grin at her. Annabel reached up to touch his five o'clock shadow, running her fingers through the scratchy hair that had started to grow. I cleared my throat, not to attract attention, but to try to unblock it so I could speak.

"This decision has… not been easy for us," I stated obviously. She nodded, a small smile tugging on her lips. This surprised me; whenever we'd watched her interact with Annabel she was always smiling, but never like this.

"Yes," her husband agreed, folding his hands on the table. He tugged at his tie, smoothing down his suit as he folded his hands. "We appreciate everything that you've done for us. Don't think that we're going to have any hard feelings, no matter what. I told you, we would be okay with whatever you chose to do."

I remembered, and nodded my head. I couldn't speak, so I just motioned for Edward to speak for me. I buried my face against his arm, shaking slightly.

_No, be strong Bella,_ I told myself,_ be strong for Annabel. _

I pulled away, looking up at Edward as he spoke. I hadn't thought that this would be so hard. I didn't expect the earth shaking, gravity defying, heart pounding pain that was filling my chest.

"We have decided, after much consideration, that you're the right parents for Annabel," Edward said, reaching a hand out to shake with the husband. He looked at his wife, then back at me. After a moment he kissed her so passionately that I felt the need to grant them their moment. I turned away as two tears escaped and slid down my cheeks in opposite directions.

Those tears could have stood for multiple things. On one hand, they represented my past and future life. Letting go and giving up what I needed to in order to allow Annabel to grow up safe and happy. The pain of letting her go, accompanied with the joy of knowing that she was going to be okay.

Part of my argued it simply represented agony. The other part, pure, unadulterated joy.

"I need to tell you some rules though," I told them quickly. He nodded, years of patience built up. I wondered if it was because of his job. The next part was the hardest. "I'm going to request that you not tell her of me. I love her…so much. So, so much. But if she thinks that I left her for no reason, she'll feel neglected. You must tell her that you're her parents."

They both looked confused, patiently listening to the rest of my story as it spilled out.

"You see… we haven't always had it easy, us Swans," I said dryly, nibbling on the bit of cookie. It was really just to take up some time as I tried to phrase my story. "My mother, she committed suicide. She was mentally unstable, and she just kind of snapped. Scott had to… cut Annabel out of my mother. And I had to watch."

Annabel's future mother gasped quietly, rocking the child against her as her eyes widened in horror. Her husband patted her hand gently, scratching at his chin in thought.

"I'm so sorry," she gushed to me. I shook my head though, still telling her why this was so important.

"You see, after that, I didn't see her for a long time. I went to visit Scott, who'd moved away with her to Maine. He loved her so much, you see. They were so happy together, and she was sassy, even then." We all shared a laugh at the obvious truth. Annabel was an intelligent girl with an attitude. "Well, afterwards, Edward and I got engaged and we came back here. A few months later, we found out that Scott had been… murdered. And Annabel had nobody."

Again, the woman gasped.

"That is so horrible," she murmured, reaching across to wrap her hand around mine. I didn't want pity from this woman though, I wanted her to understand, so I waved my hand in dismissle.

"I've accepted it, but there are some things about my life that are secret," I told them, "Some things that I can't tell you. I can't keep Annabel for exactly that. Her life is in danger if she's going to be around me in the future."

They both looked confused, but I continued anyways, throwing on a false grim smile. We'd practiced this.

"Some people I know are connected to an elite group of trained assasins," I whispered, lowering my voice so only Edward and the couple could hear. "My family's deaths were tragic, but in no way related to my work. Believe me on that. But you see; if they know that I have somebody so precious to me, they're going to want her. And I can't have her in danger."

They nodded now, wide eyes pitying and seemingly understanding. She stroked Annabel's hair absently, looking at me intently.

"She's… she's been neglected so much in her life," I explained, getting to the most crucial part of all. "She's been moved around so much, that I want her to know _nothing_ about this. If she knew, she would think I didn't love her. She would think that her parents didn't love her. And you can't tell anybody of my connections. You'll be risking your own lives. Not to mention Anza's."

Little did they know that what I was saying was absolutely true. What they didn't know, though, was that the spies were the Volturi. And their deaths would be more than tragic if they hung around.

"What… what do we say then, honey?" The woman asked, clearly over her head with worry for me. I shook my head, smiling at her kindly. I forced the next words out of my throat.

"You have to tell her that you're her parents. Bloodline."

They looked stunned. Annabel reached out to me, and I patted her hand gently.

"Why?"

"She can't go looking for us," I explained. "Maybe, one day, I'll come looking for her. If that happens, you probably won't know. She won't either. I'll keep my distance, and maybe one day she can even understand that my life is simply too deadly for her."

I was sure that if I thought about it, it created an amusing image. I was the most innocent, harmless thing on the planet as I sat here in faded jeans and a pale pink sweater. But in a few months, I could easily kill the entire room in less than five seconds. Truly, I was too deadly.

"But what if she guesses? She's smart, what if she knows?"

I shook my head, sure of this. If there was one thing you could always trust, it was that babies wouldn't be able to remember things fully for a long time.

"She won't," I promised them, "We'll make the transition slowly. Some nights, we'll send her home with you. If you need monetary help, we'll be happy to send you a check in the mail every month. It should cover more than enough of your expenses."

She shook her head though, patting my hand. "We've got more than enough money, Bella. You know that."

"Yes," I agreed, "But I'll still feel better if I can do that. You're also going to have to change your last name. It's to protect you."

In truth, it was so that Annabel couldn't trace back to us. I knew I was going to find her one day, that much I couldn't deny. But I didn't want her to stumble into our life. It wasn't because I was selfish, though. It was to protect her from death and harm.

Nobody knew when I was going to be safe.

"Change it to what?"

They were more than cooperative, and it was all too easy as I thought up the name we'd been tossing around for the past two weeks.

"Abney. Ab-knee."

They tossed their names around with it for a moment. They smiled softly, squeezing each other's hands as they looked down at the girl.

"Okay, we'll do it."

"Then we have a deal," I said softly, biting my lip to bite back the tears.

I reached my hand out for them to shake, but he stood from his chair, standing to wrap me in a hug – something he hadn't done before. He kissed both of my cheeks before hugging me again tightly. I wasn't used to this sort of affection from them, and I felt the stubble on his face as I grinned weakly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

She stood next, handing Annabel to Edward with a soft understanding in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered fiercely, opening her arms for me. I ran into them, shaking against her as she patted my back. "Don't worry, Bella. We're going to take good care of her. I promise you. She is safe, and she will be loved every moment of her life."

I nodded, hugging her back.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. That's why we chose you."

She nodded, wiping away tears of her own. The people in the café looked at us, slightly confused at why we were crying and smiling and holding on to each other so tightly. I didn't care though, nothing mattered. I looked in her eyes, her pale hair and her eyes shining with tears.

"Thank you," she whispered, hugging me again. She kissed my cheeks, and I pulled back, smiling.

"You're welcome, Carina."

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Hope I kept you on the edge of your seats ;)

There's a link to the car in my profile. I'm not really good with cars, so I just googled Volvos and went with the shiniest one ;)

These next chapters are going to be flying by, I know I said that already, and I have a lot of scenes planned, but if you have a particular scene that you want to see, all you have to do is let me know and I'll **try** to fit it in. But if –Edward dies, Bella follows – is the scene you want, please don't honestly think I'm going to put it in. LOL

Happy Valentine's Day!

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I smiled against his chest. He grumbled, uncomfortable with the emotions and thoughts we were sharing. Neither of us had ever really been good at expressing how we felt.

"I love you Daddy."

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**don't forget the poll!**


	31. Graduation

Big thanks to my beta **Angels for Airwaves**, who has totally read the first chapter of the sequel! And then got really confused! :D

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **BaileeMarie**, for favoriting every single one of my stories. If anybody else has done that, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you along with whoever else speaks up!

**Disclaimer:** I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I do not own any of the Twilight Characters.

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**3 months until the wedding (3 months skipped)**

"Charlie, I don't understand," I tried to tell him as kindly as I could. He twisted his hands together, having an internal battle with himself, then smiled at me and threw me a fishing pole. It missed my hand and clattered noisily on the floor, causing me to blush furiously. He just chuckled, bending down to throw it into the bed of my red truck.

"At least I get to use my baby today," I mused as he opened my door for me. I bowed mockingly, sliding into the passenger seat as he crossed the front of the truck. He pounded the hood with his fist, careful not to slip as he slid into the seat next to me.

It wasn't like Charlie enjoyed this car very much. In fact, he was overly thrilled when Edward had bought the Volvo for me. The only reason we'd brought my truck instead was for the father daughter day. Where else were we going to put the fishing poles, blankets and picnic lunch?

I remembered waking up in the morning to Charlie throwing open my door.

"Morning!" He'd yelled, the door banging against my wall as his excitement forced it to nearly fly off its hinges. He didn't seem fazed, though. The grin on his face as I'd fallen out of bed was priceless.

At first I'd wondered if he'd caught Edward lying next to me. I should have known, though, that Edward would have left as soon as he heard Charlie's thoughts. I was annoyed he hadn't woke me up, though.

Charlie had refused to tell me where we were going, but as soon as he'd pulled out the fishing poles I'd known he was planning his own special day. I didn't know why, though, but I wasn't going to complain. We barely spent any time together now with Annabel and Edward in the picture.

We'd barely spent time together before, at least not like this. We'd have dinner together, and I would talk to him sometimes, but we'd never spent a lot of time alone together.

Edward had left a note, and I pulled it out of my pocket to read it again.

_Morning, my love, _

_Sorry, but I simply couldn't wake you. You look so beautiful when you sleep I felt like it would be a sin to disturb your rest. Charlie's waking up soon. He's got a big day planned for you. Go along with it and I promise you you'll have fun. _

_Keep yourself safe, _

_Edward._

The drive was slow, namely because my truck was an elderly citizen and had to drive very slowly to avoid any risk of breaking down. We didn't talk much, but it was a comfortable silence. The radio played softly in the background, and I closed my eyes as rays of sunlight filed through the window.

"Who has Annabel today?" Charlie asked curiously as I absorbed the warmth of the sun. April was a warm month; already, temperatures were in the sixties. It wasn't even raining today, nor should it until sometime in the afternoon. But for now the skies were a clear blue, and there were white fluffy clouds milling around in the sky.

"She's with Aiden today," I said without opening my eyes. "They have a father daughter day planned too."

He made a grunting noise, nodding. The drive was quiet, though neither of us minded. By the time we pulled onto the dirt road that led to the lake, he was shooting glances in the review mirror, watching the fishing poles in the bed of the truck with eager eyes.

I almost laughed at his excitement, but I knew that he was nervous about this day. We'd never truly spent a lot of time together.

He opened my door, grabbing my hand as I jumped out of the car. After we'd set up the boat and successfully launched ourselves to the middle of the lake, Charlie started untangling my lines. We spent the next hour in silence, just soaking up the rays of the sun.

"Beautiful day," he commented as I munched on my peanut butter sandwich. The boat rocked gently underneath us, creating a lulling motion.

"Yea," I agreed. Suddenly my line caught. For a moment I thought it had gotten tangled, and then it all but ripped from my hands. Charlie reacted instantly, giving me his line as his hands took over mine. He reeled it in for a moment as I laughed at the mental picture I was creating. Me, frantically screaming as I hopped away from my line, and Charlie, his face filled with concentration as he reeled in the fish.

"Hooray!" I cheered as the fish flopped into the boat. It only took me half a second to start to panic. "Charlie put it back! It's going to die!"

He chuckled affectionately, but quickly unhooked it. I sighed as it flopped onto the water, swimming away quickly towards freedom and its family.

Charlie cleared his throat, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Well," he said uncomfortably, taking the moment to cast his fishing pole into the water, "I just wanted to say that… I know that you're mature enough to handle all this drama, but I just wanted to tell you that you've been so brave lately."

I smiled, "Thanks, Ch- Dad."

He nodded, laying his pole down. He turned to me, looking down at his hands. His voice was thick with raw emotion, and it just about broke my heart.

"And…well I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna miss you, Bells."

I stood up, moving as fast as I could to sit next to him in the small boat. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I smiled against his chest. He grumbled, uncomfortable with the emotions and thoughts we were sharing. Neither of us had ever really been good at expressing how we felt.

"I love you Daddy."

I leant up to kiss his cheek, stained with tears. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, grumbling about the heat.

"I love you too Bells," he said gruffly, pulling away to look over the pristine lake. The sun was directly overhead, and he tried to lighten the mood by cracking a joke. "The food's gonna suck without you."

We laughed quietly, and I squeezed my arms around him tighter.

"You really mean so much to me, Dad. Don't ever, _ever_ forget that."

"You're going to be happy though, right Bells?" Charlie asked, pulling me away to look at my face. His eyes were red rimmed, our fishing poles long since forgotten on the floor of the small metal boat rocking gently against the ripples of water.

"Yes Dad," I promised him. I kissed his cheek again, reassuring him. "I don't think that there's a way that I could be_ less_ happy. I know that everything's going to work out, and that's a good thing to know after all that's happened. Can you promise me something, though?"

He squeezed my shoulder gently. "What is it Bells?"

"Can you watch Annabel? Just tell her that you're a friend of the family. I've talked to Aiden and Carina, and they're ecstatic that I want to have part of her life to carry on with her," I explained. I'd told Charlie months previously that I didn't want Annabel to know that I'd left her. He'd been upset, but the smile on his face now proved that I was forgiven. "You'd just be a close family friend. And you'd still get to see her. But of course that's your choice."

"Of course Bells," he promised me, kissing my hair. He then took a thoughtful breath, letting it out slowly. "I've always wondered what it would be like having you around. The circumstances weren't… good, but I'm so happy that I've had this chance, as morbid as it is. I…you've been a great daughter."

"And you've been a great father," I told him honestly.

We spent the rest of the day going over innocent topics, only speaking now and again as we cast our lines into the water. There was a peaceful air to the silence though, and I knew that part of me was going to miss thinking of ways to fill the awkward pauses in conversation. I knew I was going to miss his overprotective behavior, and knowing that deep down he had the best intentions.

I was going to miss Charlie so much. I knew that leaving him behind was going to cause me so much pain and sorrow. Sometimes, loving a man like Edward in such an undeniable and life altering way meant trading other equally amazing people for a shot at happiness.

The hardest part was knowing that I would trade it all. Trade every memory, every moment of my pre-existing, blissful life for the man that I couldn't get my mind off of.

I would trade it all for Edward.

**2 months until the wedding**

"Feel's good right now, doesn't it?" Emmett's booming voice asked me. I turned around, startled, to see the smiling face of my future brother. Or cousin, or twin, depending on what the next story would be when we moved from Forks.

"It feels… really good," I admitted, fingering the red fabric. He cast me a wink, nudging my elbow.

"Just wait," he warned me as we walked to the front door of their house. Edward and Rosalie were chatting behind us, half listening in on our conversation. "It gets boring after the second time. Can't forget, you're going to be frozen at seventeen forever Bella. And that means that," he poked my side with one of his fingers, "You and I get to repeat high school forever!"

I rolled my eyes, but sighed in defeat.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," I said. Edward's arms were around me in an instant.

"Bella," he reassured me, "You don't have to do this. We've been over this before! If you don't want to…"

"Edward!" I yelled, laughing. "Edward I was talking about the party. I can't believe I let Alice do this."

It was true. As we stepped in the doors, we were greeted with a dark setting filled with flashing lights and blaring music. Alice danced down the steps, twirling around as she sighed.

"This has got to be the proudest moment of a friend's life," she said happily as she slung an arm around my shoulder. I flinched, but she just continued to smile. "Bella Swan has finally graduated from Forks High School. And in less than three months, she's going to be a vampire!"

I couldn't help the grin tugging at the side of my lips. Edward had explained the excruciating pain that I would go through in an attempt, I was sure, to convince me to change my mind. Needless to say, it hadn't quite worked.

The graduation ceremony, for all that it was hyped up and obsessed over, was dull and drab. Jessica had hugged me as she cried, and I swapped promises that we would remain friends forever. It was amusing really, because I'd barely known Jessica.

After Annabel, my life had been warped and twisted so fast that I'd barely had time to wrap my head around it. But Angela had been there for me, watching her and keeping an eye out for the two of us. When she'd hugged me, both of us had smiled slightly. She was a smart girl, and we both knew that I was planning bigger things after graduation. If anything, she was going to be the one I missed the most.

Mike had finally accepted the fact that I was not going to date him, simply hugging me and telling me that I was a great person. It was a nice change.

It had all happened so fast though.

I didn't know how I did it, but Edward and Alice had pulled out all the stops to make sure I could pass my finals. Alice had found the best books, and we'd spent countless weeks simply burying my head in book after book of text. I'd gotten a few migraines, and in those times I was spared an opportunity to relax with Annabel, as long as Aiden and Carina didn't have her.

The transition had gone well. Annabel was reluctant at first, but after a few tries she loved Carina almost more than me. It made me jealous, but I knew that it was better this way. She spent the majority of her days at our house, but when Carina or Aiden got off work, they would swing by to pick her up.

It already felt like I'd lost her.

I couldn't dwell on those things for now though, because Alice was switching me from my gown into a more… appropriate dress for the party. The entire town was coming, most eager for a chance to see inside of the Cullen mansion.

She slipped me into a simple black dress, which I wouldn't have minded if it didn't hug every unflattering curve of my body. Alice explained that everybody was going to be wearing extravagant things, and that going simple would both blend me in and make me stand out. I wasn't quite sure what she meant, but I was sure I would figure it out.

She straightened my hair so it framed my hair, and I was pleased that it meant I could push it over my face and hide further. Attention really wasn't my style.

When I walked down the steps, people were already filing in. They came in large groups, gathering in corners and sipping on small plastic cups of punch. When they saw me, they paused in their conversations, and I saw what Alice had meant.

"Hi Bella!" A girl whose name I thought to be Tiffany said, waving a hand at me. Her dress was a bright pink, with many sequins hanging off of it. She was the first I'd noticed in the room, and I was the last she'd spotted. But now that they'd seen me, they noticed. I blushed, thankful for the dark.

"Hey," I greeted her, returning her wave. She ran over, throwing her arms around me. I remembered her now, she was the one who'd asked about my mom the first day I'd came back. I stepped out of her hug, trying my best to smile and shrug away from her arms. I didn't blame her for her curiosity, but her perfume was overpowering and stuck in my throat.

"I can't believe we're done!" She cried, stepping away and into the arms of her current boyfriend. I didn't know his name, nor did I care, but he sucked in a breath as she wrapped her hands around his. "Come on Patrick, let's dance!"

He shrugged, following her onto the dance floor where dozens of couples were now gathered. I leaned against the wall, focusing on blending in with the scenery instead of the thread of people. It worked for a moment, before Jessica ran up to me in a lavender strapless dress.

"Like it?" She shouted over the blaring music, doing the full pirouette in her heels to show it to me. I nodded, and she extended a hand to me.

"Come on Bella! Let's dance, for future sake." My eyes popped out, and I shook my head quickly.

"Jessica, you know I'm no good at dancing!" I yelled. She just laughed though, grabbing my wrist as she began to drag me towards the throng of people.

A cool pair of arms wrapped themselves around me, and I sighed in relief. Edward looked up at Jessica, softening his gaze to the dazzling look he'd all but invented. Even though the look wasn't directed towards me, it made my knees weak, and I sank into his arms as he supported me.

"Do you think I could take Bella somewhere more…private?" He asked in a normal tone. Jessica seemed at a loss for words, and her lips were rounded into a sharp 'o'. She managed to shake her head though, staggering backwards as she ran to no doubt tell one of her friends about her encounter with the gorgeous Edward Cullen.

"Don't forget to call me Bella!" She yelled, throwing me a wink before disappearing from my sight. I turned back to Edward, grabbing his hand as I forced us out of the massive wall of former students.

"Thanks," I said as I leaned against the counter. He handed me a bottle of water from his fridge, and I drank half before screwing on the cap again. He looked up, a small smile on his face.

"I kind of wanted to dance," he said softly, a sheepish expression on his face. I rolled my eyes, tugging the dress down. The reaction had a negative effect though, because the dress only had so much material and it pulled down on the top slightly. I blushed, but he simply looked away, a small smile on the edge of his lips. When I was finished, he turned back to me, his hand still reaching out for me to take.

"Bella, love," he tried to reason, "It'll be like practicing for our wedding dance. I promise not to do anything that'll trip or harm you."

I smiled, my hand reaching up to take his. He grinned, lifting me onto his feet.

"Aren't my heels kind of… hurting you?" I asked meekly, glancing down. He just laughed though, sweeping me up in one lavish movement so that he could perch me on the counter. Then, with the utmost care, he slipped off the tiny black heels, setting them by the sink. He slid me onto his feet slowly, spinning around in gentle circles.

"I don't think that our dance will be that bad if you're the one doing all the work," I mused, laying my head against his chest. Suddenly a thought occurred to me, and it caused my heart to race and my face to flush with embarrassment.

"What is it love?" Edward asked, concern laced in every word as his fingers stroked my cheek. I shook my head, too embarrassed to voice y thoughts. He looked at me, his eyes softening in that knee weakening way. His cool breath blew in my face, swirling around and stunning me. "Please, love?"

I was like melted butter.

"Uhm… I was just thinking about…a-after the w-wedding."

I ducked my head against his neck, face flushing again. He chuckled, his hands running through my hair.

"And what about it?"

I looked up, casting him a glare. He had a humored smile on his face, his eyes dancing as they looked at mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, laying my head against his chest.

"I was wondering if… if we would… if…"

Edward laughed, kissing my forehead as he spun us slowly. His eyes were serious with worry and self-doubt as he stared into my eyes.

"I promised you we'd try," he said slowly, closing his eyes. "If it gets to be too much, though, we're going to have to stop. Don't think… I just don't know if I have that much control. Even seeing you in this dress is almost unbearable."

I blushed again, but his thumb and forefinger forced me to look into his face. He bent his lips to kiss mine softly, pulling away after a moment.

"I love you, and I'll be okay with it if you choose _not_ to," he explained. "We'll still have to change you, however. But one year isn't that bad to adjust, and you'll find that it really flies by." He wrapped his arms around my waist, tightening them as he grinned. "And then we'll have _forever_."

"I like the sound of that," I agreed.

The rest of the party flew by, and I was thankful that Alice had stuck me in this dress. The other girls wore loud dresses that gained a lot of attention. Mine was simple, and it gained attention from the people it needed to. Like Edward. He'd even cracked jokes about me wearing that on our wedding night instead of the traditional white gown, which made me thankful that Alice had taken me shopping two months ago for a gown.

I caught Angela later, leaving the party. I ran up to her, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug.

"Thanks for coming, I'll see you at the wedding right?"

She grinned cockily at me. "Bella, you tell me one person who isn't going to be at this wedding."

I shrugged, allowing that, and we both laughed. Alice had pulled out all of the stops on the wedding, and she had been excited that it was on the only sunny day of the year. August twelfth was the day. I got more nervous and excited on each day that went by.

"Maybe we can do something before that," I mused, thinking it over. Yes, I would definitely have to fit a day with her into my schedule. One last day, one last round.

"Definitely," she agreed, taking Ben's hand. She smiled at me, squeezing my hand with her free one gently before they stepped out into the dark, star covered sky.

I sighed, leaning against the door frame as I watched their car pull away.

I was saying goodbye to all of my old friends, cutting the ties that had held me here for so long.

I was getting ready to fly.

* * *

yes i know you all want to slap me for the crap job i did on this chapter. well go ahead. we're all aware it wasnt nearly as good as the others. promise you that the next one is going to be worth it. oh, and by the way, i have the first chapter written for the sequel. go ahead and ask my beta, shes reading it (i guess volunteering for that beta thing had its perks, huh?)

anyways, make sure you review please. even 'cool' is an acceptable response. i realized that the last sneak was so very short, so i'm going to be sending extra long ones this time!

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**[SNEAK PEEK]**

"My baby," I said quietly, brushing a finger along her cheek in an attempt to soothe her.

"Love...belly," she whispered, closing her eyes.

A single tear slid down my cheek. I was no longer Annabel's mother.

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	32. Past to Partings

Thanks to my beta, Angels for Airwaves. I tacked this on – you're amazing!

Just wanted to send a big thank you to **zanessa-troyella 1032** and **gothgurl13**, for having the longest reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I don't own any characters.

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**( Three days until the wedding )**

This was unbelievable.

How had time escaped me so quickly?

I was thankful that Edward was so understanding. If he wasn't so perfect, he probably would have called off the wedding for the amount of attention I was giving him. I spent every moment of my time with Annabel, who was growing before my eyes. Her hair almost reached her cheeks, spilling over her ears.

Getting her to smile had become a priority. There were countless pictures of the two of us smiling and laughing. In a few we were playing games, in some I was holding her as she slept, and in more we were giggling with each other. Three days were going to come and go, and then she would be gone from my life.

But only for a moment. That thought kept me going, because I knew that I would see her again. Even if I was just a student at her school, or a reporter on a newspaper, I would be keeping a close eye on her. Besides, I had Charlie, Jacob, and Cameron to watch her and know that she's safe. It would only be a few years, really. I would just have to think of her as a long lost sister…that I couldn't be a sister to.

Maybe I would become her best friend. It was a definite option, but right now all I wanted was her. I wanted to memorize her scent, the feel of her tiny fingers under mine, the way her face lit up when she learned something knew… I wanted to know it all.

I was a girl on a mission.

"Put it in the red block, sweetie," I told her, laughing as she rolled her eyes. Her small, stubby fingers threw the block at me, and I committed it to memory. Cradling her to my chest, she whimpered and struggled in an attempt to break free of my grasp.

She seemed to realize how much I needed this, settling down and looking up at me. She stuck another block in her mouth, her drool spilling over it. She pulled it away, dropping it on her shirt.

"Hungy," she informed me, patting my face impatiently. I nodded, nuzzling her nose with mine as I stood to retrieve her bottle from the cupboard. To my relief, Alice had already thrown it in the microwave to heat. She sat on the counter, legs kicking softly against. She tilted her head to the side, sliding off slowly to peck my cheek. Before she exited the room graciously, she paused, turning towards me. One hand rested on the doorframe, and she looked at me with understanding.

"Love it," she said to me, "It's almost over."

I nodded, squeezing Annabel tighter against me as the realization came. Three days, and the day before the wedding would be like a dream – too fast to even count. I would be saying my goodbyes at the after party, where Carina and Aiden would be leaving with her for the last time.

I wouldn't see her again for years to come. And even then, she couldn't ever know about me.

I sighed, closing my eyes. Humming, I spun us in gentle circles.

"Promise me something beautiful," I said to her as the microwave beeped. We both looked at it, her hands reaching out with impatience, all thoughts of our conversation forgotten. I sighed, opening the door and pulling out the bottle. Filling it with a squirt of cool water and testing it on my thumb, I handed it to her. She stuck it in her mouth, her attention returning to me now that she'd been fed.

I usually didn't give her bottles anymore – she was much too old. But now, I simply didn't care. I wanted to spend time making memories, not cleaning up her bib.

"Promise me, Anza," I commanded her, staring into her gorgeous eyes. She nodded, waving a hand in the air as if urging me to continue. I smiled; sometimes it seemed like she would actually understand exactly what I was saying, although Edward told me her thoughts were still jumbled up considerably.

"Promise me to be good, and to do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe."

There was a spark in her eyes, and I prayed that she fully understood what I was trying to say to her. I realized that it was pointless though, but that didn't mean that I had to stop convincing myself that she was fully comprehending my words.

"Snow Wite," she commanded, a smile lighting her face. I felt like an angel was blessing me with her perfect happiness in these final days. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my words coming out soft and broken.

"Okay," I whispered, "We'll watch Snow White."

I slipped into the familiar smile that I used so often around her, reaching up my arms for her. She stuck hers to her chest, casting me a quizzical look.

"'Srong?"

I gaped at her, stunned. _What's wrong?_ Maybe she honestly was smarter than I gave her credit for. I shook my head, but she refused to move. I sighed, sitting down next to her.

"I'm just sad baby," I told her, tears spilling over my cheek. She began to whimper, touching the tears with her small fingers.

"Why?"

I took her small hand in my own, enveloping it easily. My nails, already done up for the wedding, were long and manicured, but at the moment I could care less. I knew she wouldn't realize the words I were saying meant so much to me, but I wanted her to at least know.

"Mommy and daddy died a long time ago," I said quietly, looking into her eyes seriously. "Mommy and daddy, daddy especially, loved you more than everything. They want you to be a happy girl, and they want me to be happy too. Daddy can't… make it to my wedding, but he'll see us there. He and mommy have been watching us for a long time, baby."

Her lip quivered, and I reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. I smiled; finally coming to the closure I'd been dying for after all of these long, cold months.

"No Anza, they want us to be _happy_. No matter what, they want us to be happy. That's why they had you, so I could be happy, and have the beautiful sister I wanted so much. But things have changed now, sweetie. I can't… take care of you like I want to. Don't think I don't love you, because I do. That's how I can do this, because I love you."

I winked at her, a laugh bubbling up in my chest.

"You wouldn't want to hang around us anyways, baby. We're too sappy for your own good. Besides, I think that this way is better. You can grow, and you can live your life. I promise you that I will never, ever forget you, even though you will eventually forget me."

She wiggled her fingers in my hand – a sign of reassurance. I smiled.

"You're going to have a great life. Carina and Aiden are going to be more than supportive to you, and you're very smart. I already know that you're going to be great someday. And the best part is that you get to be human while doing it. Living with me is simply too dangerous for you, and you'll be happier this way."

She threw her bottle on the floor, plastic clattering against linoleum as it flew across the room. Neither of us looked at it, too caught up in each other to care. I spoke slowly at the next part, trying desperately for her to understand.

"I love you. More than anything in this world. You will grow up, and you will be happy, I _promise_ you. Everybody is going to be watching out for you, and nothing bad will ever happen to you. And in return, you have to promise me that you're always going to be a good girl. Promise me to always have a positive attitude. Can you do that for me?"

"Pomise," she copied me, her lips moving slowly in concentration. For a second I thought we'd actually connected, but she clapped her hands suddenly, eyes sparkling with hope. "Snow Wite?"

I laughed, wiping away tears as I swung her into my arms. I twirled us around, thankful that I'd managed to learn to control my balance when I had her in my arms. She giggled in joy as we sank into the plush couch in the living room. I popped in the DVD, pulling her against my chest as she sucked her thumb.

_Why stop her habits now_? I asked myself, _this is your last real day with her. Spend it being as happy as you can. _

"Pity," she noted, trying to say 'pretty'. I smiled, nodding in agreement as I breathed in her scent. She turned to me, pressing her wet lips to mine as she snuggled into my chest. Alice came in suddenly, snapping a picture when neither one of us was looking. She nodded, not looking the least bit apologetic as she left the room.

She grew restless then, fidgeting around in my arms. She began to whimper before the movie had even ended, growing tired as she fought to stay away for the movie she loved.

"My baby," I said quietly, brushing a finger along her cheek in an attempt to soothe her.

"Love...belly," she whispered, closing her eyes.

A single tear slid down my cheek. I was no longer Annabel's mother.

In it came a sense of relief, however. I didn't want the adjustment to be sad and long. I wanted good memories, and the knowledge that I had truly provided a set of parents that she could call her mommy and daddy made me fill with pride.

I wrapped my arms around her, our cheeks pressed together as we both fell into a deep sleep together. For the last time, I didn't know. All I wanted to do was stay with her in my arms forever.

_I love you, Annabel._

**( 1 day until the wedding )**

Jacob walked up the porch steps, Cameron nervously hovering by his side. She knew the stories about how vampires and werewolves were mortal enemies, and I was sure she felt afraid for Jacob, and his safety.

He squeezed her hand with his free one, rubbing small circles on her wrist with his thumb. Scrunching his nose dramatically, he let out a long gush of air.

"Man, Bells," he joked, "You smell _terrible_!"

I smiled, running into his arms. Cameron dropped his hand, stepping away as he spun me in a giant sweeping circle. Vampires and wolves may not be able to stand the other's scent, due to the fact that vampires smelled sweet and wolves woodsy, but I thought they both smelled amazing in their own ways.

When he set me down, I hugged Cameron.

"It's been so long," I commented idly as they stepped further into the house. Jacob nodded, taking Cameron's hand immediately back in his. Jacob looked almost… proud of something. I shrugged it off as they followed me into the kitchen, gawking blatantly at the size of the house.

"Huge," I heard Cameron mumble under her breath. I nodded in agreement as Esme walked carefully around the room, tidying up end tables and cleaning every bare inch of exposed glass, wood or carpet. Emmett came in, lifting the couch effortlessly as Esme scrambled to sweep the vacuum under it quickly, running along the pale white carpet as she left a perfect pattern.

Cameron looked at Emmett in shock, but when he turned to her and waved, laughing loudly, she relaxed slightly. I didn't fail to notice how she leant into Jacob's side though, and it amused me that she could ever be afraid of Emmett.

Although, if I hadn't spent the last two years with him and had a serious heart-to-heart about my entire dramatic, hectic life, I probably would have been scared as well.

Edward walked in the room quickly, glancing around in nervousness as he reached a hand out towards Jacob. The wolf's nose wrinkled, but he threw on a smile and shook Edward's hand in return. They gave each other a nod, Edward coming to wrap his arms around me. I sighed, feeling whole.

I would have let him play with Annabel, but she'd begun to cry after the cleaning frenzy started. Jasper had run her up to the mountains to watch the birds and animals for a while in an attempt to calm her down.

"Well," Jacob said casually, swaying with Cameron as she stifled a laugh. He nuzzled her neck, causing her to bury her face in embarrassment. When Jacob looked up, he grinned at me. "You invited us here for a reason I'm guessing, so let's hear it."

I smiled; you could always trust Jacob to cut to the chase.

Edward led us to the kitchen table. I knew it was a prop – only used if the family had any meetings or discussions that needed to take place. Edward's arms released me, and I walked over to the door. Closing it quickly, we tucked ourselves into the room by ourselves. The rest of the house could easily hear us, but I was hoping to block off the sound of the vacuum and Alice's shrieking about decorations.

I sat next to Edward, his arms wrapping around me as he slid me onto his lap. My eyes never left Jacob's, and I felt we both knew this would be a conversation between us and us alone.

"Jacob, I know I talked to you before," I said carefully. His eyes showed confusion, and I tried to explain. "About Annabel, and protecting her."

He nodded, his eyes shining with the same reverence as before. It amazed me that, although the last time he'd seen her was a month ago, when the Cullens had been out on a hunting trip, he still held the same devotion for her.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were still good on your word."

"Of course," he said, looking almost as though I'd insulted her. His eyes changed, and his face softened as he reached a hand over to cover mine. I gave it to him, feeling its extreme temperatures as it wrapped around mine, squeezing gently. I looked up through my tears to see a steel determination set in his features. "I promise you Bells, she'll be _completely _safe."

I looked up at him, both gratitude and a warning in my eyes. Edward's grip squeezed around my softly, trying to calm down the conflicting emotions. My words came out sad and yet somehow fierce.

"Good," I said, "Because I'm warning you: if I come back and she's not, I…"

I stopped then, realizing something. He didn't owe me anything – he was doing me a favor that I would not be able to. He would make sure she was happy and safe, while I would be fighting the urge to kill.

"Thank you," I whispered. He nodded, breaking the serious atmosphere with a smile.

He kissed Cameron excitedly for half a second. She leaned into him, laying her head on his chest. The same proud look flashed through his eyes, strong and determined.

"I haven't phased in almost three months," he declared, kissing Cameron again. I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't… what are you saying exactly?" I asked, laughing. He rolled his eyes, ruffling my hair with a hand.

"It means that in only a few years I'll start to get old, and Cameron and I can start our own family."

Cameron smiled softly, looking up at him with a look in her eyes that I could only describe as plain and simple love.

"I want twins," she said after a moment. Jacob's eyes widened, causing all of us to break into loud fits of laughter.

"I don't think I could handle more than one," he laughed, "Imagine having two little Jacob's!"

"No," she objected, "They would be two little Cameron's."

He shook his head now, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"Could you imagine two more of you? I would have to ask the Cullens to help me keep all the boys back!"

I rolled my eyes. We spent the next few hours talking, and when Esme stopped to cook us lunch, Jacob ate two-thirds of everything. Esme asked if he was going to the wedding, and when he shook his head, she nodded in relief.

"You're not going to the wedding?" I asked, hurt coloring my voice. He looked at me, rolling his eyes as he kissed my forehead.

"I think if I go you'll be very, very crowded with the goodbyes," he said, smiling softly. "Besides Bells, you and I will see each other again someday. Maybe then you'll be able to see _my_ baby."

"She wasn't really ever mine, was she?" I said, realizing the truth of my words. Even after all the time we'd spent together, I'd never had a true claim on her. She'd had her mother, her father, and her new parents. I would always be her sister – her best friend.

He shrugged, letting my question go.

"It doesn't matter Bells, you were more a mother to her in the past few months than anybody could be. But you'll stop by, when you're changed, right? Let me know that you made it past the Volturi creeps?"

I smiled, nodding. Tears welled in my eyes, but they were happy. I had something to hold on to until I saw my fried again. He thought my family, the people out to get me, and someday, myself, were freaks.

"It's time to go," Jacob said, glancing at the clock. It couldn't really be eleven o'clock already, could it? Time had slipped by so fast, it was like it was just a dream.

Cameron dropped his hand again as I ran into his arms.

"I'm going to miss you," he said gruffly, "We'll be checking up on each other, so you better be good."

"I will," I promised him, looking at Cameron. I barely knew her, but I knew she had to be close to perfect to capture Jacob's heart. I hugged her, and she smiled at me.

"You better have those twins you wanted so badly."

She laughed, nodding. Before they walked out, Jacob turned back to me.

"Love you," he said, a sad smile on his face.

"Love you too," I said.

And then they were gone.

* * *

"Eleven hours until the wedding," Edward's voice murmured in my ear, causing me to shiver. There was a certain pride in his voice, as though his words were finally beginning to sound right. "Then you're mine. Forever."

I nodded against his chest. He chuckled, glancing at the clock. It was two in the morning, and he had been trying to coax me to sleep so he could leave for the past three hours.

"It's tradition that the husband and wife be separated before the wedding, and if I sleep in bed with you tonight, you'll be much, much too used to it. What fun would that be tomorrow?"

I shivered again, but this time it was not from the coolness of his breath. I rolled my eyes at him, smirking.

"I'm beginning to wonder if I'm engaged to a romantic or a pedophile."

He grinned, touching my nose with his finger.

"You're older than me, love. So you'd be the pedophile."

"No," I objected, "Technically you're almost a century older."

He shrugged, wrapping me tightly against his chest. His words were soft and comforting, flowing like honey as he whispered in my ear.

"I will always want forever with you," he reassured my silent worries. "It doesn't matter if, even after the wedding, we wait five days, weeks, or a half a dozen centuries. I will wait as long as you want. I've wanted to see you in that white dress for so long; it's completely worth the wait, as long as I get to see you walking towards me."

I blushed, fighting back a laugh. I yawned suddenly, feeling overly tired as my eyes fluttered down.

Edward began to hum my lullaby, and the last thing I felt before I drifted was his cool lips, pressing against my hair.

Eleven Hours.

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An/ yea not much better. I'm not going to lie, I've been putting a lot of effort into the sequel. The next chapter is going to be even better. To those of you that reviewed, you WILL be receiving the extended sneak peek this time!

**THE PROLOGUE TO THE SEQUEL HAS BEEN RELEASED!**

Check it out in my profile to those of you who don't know, and please review!

**

* * *

**

**[SNEAK PEEK]**

I looked at the love of my life, the one man I desperately wanted more than anything. Eyes brimming with tears, I opened my mouth, an apology already forming on my lips.

His hand slid over my mouth, understanding in his eyes as his lips pressed tenderly to my forehead.

"I'm sorry Edward," I sobbed, "I want to…so badly…but I can't do this."

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_Remember, if you review you will get an EXTENDED sneak peek!_


	33. The Wedding

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Huge-o thanks to my beta, **Angels for Airwaves**, for her kissing fixing expertise :D

This entire chapter is dedicate to the one and only **Edward-n-bella-fr-eternity1207**, for actually causing me to **spit out my drink and fall off of my chair** in hysterics when I read her 'WTF' review. Double dedication, am I correct? Lucky you :D

**Disclaimer:** I am not Stephenie Meyer, so I do not own Twilight.

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I looked in the mirror, tears spilling over my cheeks as Esme squeezed my shoulders gently. Alice scurried around quickly, fanning out the long, elegant train.

"You look beautiful, darling," Esme murmured, pressing her lips against my hair. Her eyes filled with a motherly love as she leaned her head on my shoulder, staring at our reflection in the mirror.

My hair was long, appearing a strange mahogany color. Curls spilt over my shoulders in waves, and my cheeks were flushed a light pink. With my wide eyes and pale lips, I actually allowed myself to see that I did look halfway comparable next to my future sister and mother.

The white dress hugged my waist, some of the fabric gathering on the side to lead into the long train. It reminded me of the early 20th century, and when Alice saw it, she immediately knew it was the one. Originally, we'd planned to go with a slightly different choice, but when I saw this I knew immediately I wanted it.

Edward was, after all, born in that era, and I wanted to see what he'd think.

Alice had a hard time keeping it to herself, but she'd managed, and finally the day was here. It was twelve o'clock, which left us an hour before I had to link arms with Charlie and take those steps toward my future.

I couldn't be more nervous, scared, or completely and overwhelmingly excited.

"I'm going to miss you guys," I whispered as Rosalie walked in the room. Her red dress made my heart flare with a jealous twinge, but it only lasted a moment before it was wiped away completely. She stood next to me, twisting a piece of hair up high before pinning it in place.

"You know we'll miss you too," Alice chirped, too excited to really pay much attention to what my concerns were. "We'll see you again soon though."

"Yes," Esme said, brushing away the tears with a firm hand. "Bella, don't smear your make up. It'll only be a few years, and we'll come to see you whenever you wish."

"Yes," Alice said, trying to distract me. Rosalie applied some sort of limp plumper to my mouth, pressing down hard. "Where are you going again?"

I rolled my eyes, ignoring her comment. As if the Cullens didn't know where we were going. We were headed to Europe –temporarily – to live alone in seclusion while I adjusted. It didn't make me feel any better about leaving my family, although the chance to have a few years alone with Edward _was_ very tempting…

I heard doors opening and shutting downstairs, and the small chatter of voices as people conversed. The windows were opened wide, allowing plenty of air to swirl around the room. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath of the moist air; we weren't expecting any rain today though, thanks to Alice's flawless planning.

I glanced at the clock. They'd been working on me for twenty minutes. I heard pre-wedding music start to play softly. At first I thought it was somebody they'd hired, but then my ears registered.

_My lullaby. _

Almost like a fairytale movie, I ran to the window. Leaning out, looking over the backyard, I saw Edward sitting at the grand piano. White chairs were filled with people – some trying to turn and steal a glance at the bride. Edward glanced up immediately, his eyes meeting mine. His hands never left the keys, playing the same soft melody. My heart thumped in my chest, and he let out the most heartbreaking smile.

'Love you' he mouthed, grinning up at me. He paused, tapping his wrist in signal.

"Forty minutes," I whispered shakily, my hands tangling together. He nodded, puckering his lips in a long distance kiss. Before I could return it, I was yanked out of the doorframe by a very angry pixie.

"You're lucky he didn't see your dress," she scolded me, "That would have ruined all my hard work!"

I really didn't care. The butterflies in my chest were eager to escape, and I was eager to finally get this two-year affair on the road.

I started rocking on my feet, drumming my fingers on the wooden table as Esme and Rosalie stood around me, fixing little things in my hair. Alice perched on the edge of the table, kicking her feet as she casually talked to me as though one of the most important days of my life wasn't about to take place.

There was a slight rap on the door, and Rosalie walked over to open it widely. Charlie stood there, clad in tux, looking awkward and uncomfortable. He peered around her shoulder, his eyes landing on mine as a wide smile filled his face. I realized how young Charlie really was in that moment, how childlike he still seemed compared to the aged vampires I'd spent so much time with.

"Fifteen minutes, then I want you downstairs," Alice said, throwing me a warning glance. Esme kissed Charlie's cheek before dragging the hyper pixie out of the room. Rosalie touched my cheek before spinning quickly to follow behind them.

"You look beautiful Bells," he said, wrapping his arms around me to hug me. I blushed at his compliment.

"Thanks Daddy," I whispered, kissing his cheek. He mumbled something about growing up too fast, and reached into his pocket.

"I know you're moving away, so I wanted to give you this as a reminder. I know the theme was red, but I figured I'd give you this anyways," he said gruffly, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small box, handing it to me like it meant little. I knew Charlie better though – I knew how much this gift meant to him.

I gasped quietly, sliding a finger over the small but simple ring. It was a silver band with blue sapphires and diamonds encompassing it, and the inside read 'To My Baby. Love Always - Daddy'. He shifted uncomfortably, waiting for my reaction.

Not knowing how to describe the love I felt, I could only wrap my arms around him again. He patted my back, and when he pulled away he had red rims of his own around his eyes.

"Oh daddy," I gushed, tears slipping down my face as I squeezed onto him tightly. He coughed after a moment, the music slipping into a soft, rhythmic hymn. "I love you Dad."

"I love you too Bells," he said, reaching out a big hand. I slipped mine into his – for the first time, I realized – and he squeezed my hand. I felt so small, wrapped up in these last moments with the man who'd taken me in, even when I'd been through my worst moments. He gave me a smile. "Looks like we should get down there, huh?"

I nodded as we walked downstairs. Once my dress had been fixed once more, the doors swung open. The Wedding March played, and my eyes landed on Emmett, who threw me a wink. I skipped over him, my gaze traveling to the most beautiful man in the world. I drank him in, and it seemed like he was doing the same, wearing that crooked smile that I knew was just for me.

I realized that I had to stop walking now – that we were finally here. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized that after all this time, my world was just beyond my reach.

"I love you," I repeated to Charlie as he kissed my cheek. He squeezed my hand gently, placing it into Edward's. Their eyes met, and Charlie smiled at him; his words held a warning, though. "You better keep her happy, son."

"I will sir," Edward promised, leading us up to sit together in front of the large crowd. He squeezed my hand gently.

The priest said the familiar, long-spoken words. We stood, facing each other as we spoke our vows. If Edward had been able to cry, I was sure that he would have been too. Finally, the minister had us to say the most important words of all.

"I do," Edward said clearly. His words were powerful, and nearly melted my heart, as cliché as that may have sounded.

The minster asked me, too. I didn't see why we had to even go through with this. We were, after all, going to be together forever. Nothing was going to change that.

Not now, not ever.

"I do," I whispered, barely audible. Edward's eyes were filled with amazement, awe, and above all else… love. I saw everything in his eyes that was no doubt reflected in my own.

A victorious smile so beautifully stunning broke out on his face then, and I couldn't help but gasp. Before the minister gave the word, he'd captured my lips with his own fiercely, bending down to bring me closer to him. I had no defense planned, and I melted in his arms without a single thought in my mind.

My heart felt like it was soaring, ripping out of my chest in pure ecstasy. The claps died down into understanding chuckles, and Edward pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine. His nose brushed against mine tenderly, my eyes fluttering closed.

"I love you," he murmured, turning us both to look at the crowd. I had no eyes for anything but him, though, although he turned to the crowd with a wide smile. I couldn't stop staring at his beauty, couldn't help but be swept up into the feeling of being so in love I could cry.

Before I realized it, Edward and I were leading the crowd to the dance floor across the long yard. A white tent was set up, entertainment playing underneath along with waiters and waitresses handling trays of food. People claimed their seats at their rightful tables, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and I sitting on the opposite side of the dance floor.

People lined up to shake our hands and offer their congratulations. I was secretly wondering if some were just here for the cake, because half of the people I barely knew.

Jasper decided that a last dance would be appropriate. We'd never spent much time together, and Emmett had already dragged me out to spin me around in circles more than once. Jasper held out a hand as I slipped mine into his, and he led us out onto the floor.

"Honestly Bella," he scolded me, "Can you calm down? You're confused, upset, excited, happy, and ridiculously torn on every single emotion running through your tiny little body. This is your day, and if you don't start to relax I'll make you."

I laughed, nodding. His hands were stiff on my waist, and he smiled apologetically at me.

"I don't have a lot of control," he admitted, ashamed. I leant up slowly to kiss his cheek as Emmett nearly tore me from his arms.

"Thank you Jasper," I yelled back as I was whisked toward the cake. I tried to make my voice sound as appreciative as possible so he knew I meant it, but it was a hard thing to do with a huge vampire towing you towards a large cake. "That meant a lot to me."

"C'mon sis," Emmett said, a mischievous smile on his face, "I want to see Edward eat human food!"

To my surprise, when I offered Edward the bit of frosted cake, taunting him more than anything, he'd accepted it, taking it from my fingers as some frosting landed on his lip. He'd smirked at me, but I'd been so stunned that he had the chance to dab some on my nose, kissing it away as the crowd laughed at my shocked expression.

The dance with Charlie was both awkward and fun. I smiled, laughed, and showed him the ring that I was proudly sporting on both of my hands. His on my right, my wedding band on my left. After our clumsy dance, I hugged him tightly.

"I'm going to miss you daddy," I told him, "So much."

I tapped his chest, right where his heart was. I smiled, both of our eyes watering.

"As cliché as it sounds," I said, "I will always be right here."

He nodded, grabbing my hand. He lifted it to his lips, kissing each one of my fingers. Then he wrapped me into a hug. I took a deep breath, memorizing the strong feel of his arms, the scent that poured off of him, the gruff feel of his hairs on his chin. I memorized his last words to me.

"Be a good girl," he said sternly, backing away. Only our hands touched, and he squeezed them gently. "Enjoy life baby. Because pretty soon you'll be wondering where all the time has gone. I love you Bells."

When he'd left, and Edward had wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest, I was waiting for the only thing that I needed. Edward and I spun, him doing all of the work as I managed to push aside my worries. All it took was Edward's smile to make me realize why I was doing this in the first place.

Why I would do it ten times again.

I spotted Carina in the crowd, a long elegant dress looking strikingly beautiful against her white hair. She saw me, running over to wrap me in a hug. I saw Aiden sitting at a table, Annabel waving to me with a tiny fist as our eyes connected.

"Carina," I said slowly, my voice wavering as I glanced into her eyes. I placed the charm bracelet into her palm, the blood red heart shining brightly. Jasper's gem. "Can you give this to Annabel when she's older? I'd like for her to have it."

She nodded, offering me a smile as she put the charm bracelet into a small bag. She slipped the bag into her purse, zipping it tightly.

"It's in there," she promised me.

I threw my arms around her neck. Her tears were dripping onto my shoulder, her nails digging into my back.

"Thank you," she said, pulling away to look into my eyes. "Thank you."

I nodded, and nothing more needed to be said for the moment. Before I realized it, Aiden appeared and placed Annabel into my arms. She looked at me, took in my dress and my makeup. I silently thanked Alice for applying waterproof mascara and eyeliner.

"Petty," she noted, stroking my cheek with a curious hand. I let her trace my face, kissing her palm with my fingers.

I knew that this was goodbye. I didn't want to say it though, because that would make the words true.

"Love you baby girl," I whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Wuv you Belly," she whispered back, a sly smile on her face. She jumped up, pecking me on my lips with a wet kiss.

"I'll see you soon," I promised her. She nodded, and Aiden scooped her back into his arms. Edward's arms wrapped around me, securing me once again to the earth.

"Come on love," he whispered, his breath cool in my ear. I nodded as he slid the door open for me. I got in, leaning out the window to reach my hand out toward the most beautiful baby girl in the planet. She reached out too, our hands gripping together in a sisterly promise.

We held on until I drove away, her ghostly touch lingering on my fingertips as their shadows grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

* * *

Sleep was dooming me.

"Love," Edward's humored chuckle whispered, "Try to get some rest."

"No rest," I mumbled pathetically, snuggling against his chest anyways. The stewardess looked at me, taking in my wrinkled wedding dress and Edward's lips turned up into a soft smile as he rubbed my back. An understanding smile of her own took over her face. She lifted up a bottle, raising an eyebrow.

"Do the newlyweds want any champagne?"

My head popped off of Edward's chest, looking at the girl. I lifted a hand out, causing the stewardess to laugh. Meanwhile, Edward's head thumped back onto the headrest, a groan escaping his lips.

"Bella, love," Edward mumbled as I took a sip of the strong liquid, "You're never going to fall asleep."

I shrugged, my eyes popping open again. The waitress chuckled, giving Edward an appreciative once over. I saw him flinch, snaking his arms around me. He pulled me tighter against his chest, wrapping a wool blanket around my body. The stewardess looked at him again, tossing him a wink.

"Let me know if there is _anything_ I can do for you," she said. I turned to her, raising an eyebrow. That had to be the most overused line I'd ever heard. So I smiled, turning to look at Edward.

"Do you want anything?" I asked him sweetly. He rolled his eyes, pecking my nose as he shook his head. I turned to her, motioning towards the blanket. "Can I have another?"

She turned and walked away, mumbling about a blanket limit and newlyweds.

I guess that's what you get for flying coach.

Eventually I did succumb to sleep, my eyes drifting closed. In what felt like minutes, I was being awakened to the loud clamor of a busy airport. We didn't spend much time there; just enough to get me something to eat after Edward heard my embarrassing body betray me by growling.

I walked beside Edward, his arm never straying from the bare skin on my back as we walked through the crowded area. We had no bags, since we'd had them all shipped to our new home. I was eager to see it – we would be living there for an entire year, after all, stuck in the seclusion of a house buried deep within miles of forest.

Before I knew it the taxi was winding its way down a road that seemed to stretch on forever. When we pulled through the break of the trees, I could do nothing but stare.

"Esme came out here to build it a long time ago," Edward said casually, as though it was no big deal. "We've had it lying around, and she figured you'd fall in love with it."

Beneath the break in the trees, a small stone cottage lay in the middle of a field of flowers. The taxi driver did appropriate 'aw' noises, pulling to a stop. Edward barely paid him any attention, sliding him more than a generous tip.

When he'd gone I was swept into Edward's arms. He walked us up to the door, his eyes never leaving mine as he kicked it open gently.

"This is the foyer," he explained, showing me a small room. Hand painted pictures were set against the wall, creating a homey feel. He stepped into another room. I realized what it was then, and my heart pounded against my ribs.

The room was small, with a large white bed and dark mahogany flooring. The walls were a soft green, and through the window I had a picture perfect view. Two deer stood just outside the window, their ears perked and alert.

"This is our room. It's a little hot in here, I figured that that would be best for… later," Edward said, making a move to back out of the room. I laid a hand on his chest, my eyes locking with his.

"Can we tour tomorrow?" I asked, my voice barely above whispering level. I felt short of breath, as though this moment had been prolonged for more than enough time. He seemed to have lost his words too, because he nodded slowly.

I realized how close he was to me, and couldn't help but lean up to press my lips against his. Edward responded, taking another step into the room. He laid me gently on the bed, his hands traveling down my face with such tender care that I couldn't help but smile. Worry was in his eyes though as he trailed his fingers to my collar bone.

"If I do anything-" he started, but I cut him off with another kiss. I was always so unsure of myself – I was wondering when the panic was going to set in. When I would realize that this wasn't a dream, that this was really happening and I had no idea what I was doing.

"Edward, I love you," I said, my fingers dancing across his face. He hovered over me, his elbows propped on either side of my face. He nodded, bending his head down to kiss my neck.

"You're beautiful, love," he said softly, motioning towards me dress, "I just about had a heart attack when I saw you walking towards me. Then it hit me, that you're so completely _mine_ now, that nobody can ever touch you except _me_."

I shivered at his words, my hands sliding around his neck as I pulled him closer. Slowly, one of his hands wrapped in my hair as his face met mine again. It was with such tender care that he handled me, careful not to do anything that I didn't want to. His hand trailed down my neck, dancing across the edge of my dress. I shivered once more as his hands went to the small of my back, holding me closer to him.

"I love you," he said, his voice husky. I couldn't do anything but nod as he began to kiss my neck, traveling up to my chin. His lips met mine, molding together as my heart beat frantically in my chest. A desperate urgency overtook me, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. He pulled away gently, kissing my forehead. His eyes were light and filled with love, but also a request. "Love, please don't push me too much."

I nodded, a blush covering my cheeks. His lips moved slowly from my chin to my neck, and my heart raced. Edward's eyes met mine again, and I felt his fingers lingering at the zipper of my dress.

"Is this okay?" He asked quietly. Before he could do anything, before I could nod yes, every thought came swarming into my head. Annabel was gone. My family was gone – for the moment – and I'd left every one of my friends behind.

I looked at the love of my life, the one man I desperately wanted more than anything. Eyes brimming with tears, I opened my mouth, an apology already forming on my lips.

His hand slid over my mouth, understanding in his eyes as his lips pressed tenderly to my forehead.

"I'm sorry Edward," I sobbed, "I want to…so badly…but I can't do this."

He nodded, stroking my cheek. Pulling me against his chest, he kissed my hair.

"This is enough, love," Edward said. "This is enough."

"I wish I could," I said, "But it's just Annabel… I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want to do it like this, not like this."

Edward chuckled, smiling against my neck as his cool breath washed over me. He bent his head down, pressing it against my chest. It took me a minute to realize what he was doing, until he sighed.

Listening to my heartbeat.

"You know," Edward said casually, looking up at me. He kissed my shoulder, causing me to shiver as his lips trailed across my collar bone. His breath was just a murmur against my skin. "Just think. This will only cause even more frustration for both of us."

I nodded in agreement, closing my eyes. He closed his as well, our breath evening into a single rhythm as my heart eventually slowed.

"I love you," he said once more, "I told you I would wait as long as you needed."

I really owed him more than I could put into words.

"Thank you," I whispered, my hand tracing his face as he scooped me into his arms.

"My pleasure love," he murmured, humming softly as I drifted into a deep sleep filled with dreams of the only man who could ever be so understanding, compassionate, and loving. Edward.

* * *

Five days may seem like a short time, but you'd be surprised to find that when you were on your honeymoon, trying to get to the point in your relationship where you could finally give yourself completely to your other half, time passed torturously slowly.

Edward entertained me with games, movies, and evenings spent in the flowers, simply looking at the stars. When we kissed, he made sure not to touch me too much, even though I wanted him too.

Today we'd gone on a hike in the woods. Edward had spent the entire day walking beside me, somehow calm even though I'd stumble and trip over my own two feet. He held my hand, our fingers laced together as we traveled aimlessly. We found a small pond, glistening like a pearl as my toe broke the stillness of the water.

It had rained shortly after, and hadn't let up since. We'd watched a movie – I snuggled against Edward's chest as he absently played with my hair, humming softly. Meanwhile, I was formulating my poorly thought out plan.

I smiled to myself, thanking Alice, for the first time in my life, for making me go shopping so much.

I knew Edward was in our bedroom, because I'd just been in there twenty minutes before.

I tried to calm my heart, a small jolt of energy jumping through my body. I looked at the piece of lingerie, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply.

_For Christ's sake Bella, get a grip on yourself. This is Edward, he loves you._

I forced my mind to stop thinking, refusing to look in the mirror as I opened the door. Edward's back was facing towards me, and he was looking at a picture of his family members back home.

"Edward?" I asked, suddenly shy as I stood there. He turned, his eyes growing wide as he took in my appearance.

"Y-yes, Bella?" He asked, his eyes ripping away from my body to land on my face. A surge of confidence ran through me like fire, and I walked up to him slowly. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I placed a soft kiss on his neck. I felt him shiver under my touch, which only reassured me that I loved him and wanted him.

"Edward, I'm ready," I said, my hand resting on his wrist. His fingers wrapped up to thread through mine.

"Are you sure Bella?" Edward asked, his eyes filled with concern. I smiled at him, my fingers tracing the outline of his lips. I nodded.

"Yes."

* * *

Edward's lips pressed against my cheek, my eyes fluttering open as they met Edward's warm butterscotch ones.

"You are _so_ beautiful," he said quietly, his fingers tracing my face. I smiled – he'd said that multiple times the night before.

"No, you are."

Being together with Edward after all of this time meant more to me than anything. I couldn't have been happier with the way things had worked out. He kissed my gently, his reactions ever guarded as he tried his best not to hurt me. I never felt a moment of pain – only complete happiness when he held me tighter against him. He hummed my lullaby in my ear softly afterwards, lulling me to sleep with his warm words and whispered 'I love yous'**. **

"Thank you for making me the happiest man on earth," he said, looking at my bare arm. His fingers traced skin, causing goose bumps to rise underneath. His breath was soft as he spoke. "I can't believe it."

I nodded, "Me either."

He laughed, leaning back to lie against the pillow. My mind was contemplating what was more beautiful: Edward when he wore a black button up shirt or him lying on the pillow next to me, his bare chest rising and falling with every breath he took, and his adorably tousled hair messed to perfection.

It wasn't much of a contest.

"No, love," he scolded me,a taunting smile on his face, "I meant I can't believe that I didn't hurt you." He looked toward the end of the bed. "Your clothes, however, are another story. I'm sorry I did that**;** I really liked that on you.I don't think I've ever seen anything so…**" **

I blushed, but nodded. I looked up at him through my lashes as he mourned the loss of my clothing.

"Does that mean we'll try again?"

He grinned, kissing my chin. I felt him nod, and for a moment I thought he was going to try again right then and there. But he pulled away, sliding out of bed. I watched him put on hisclothes, turning to me with a smile.

"I'm going to make you breakfast," he said proudly. I grinned as he left me to change. I showered quickly, sad when his scent washed away with the warm water.

When I entered the kitchen, he was sitting on a stool, a plate of food on the table. He patted the seat, and I slid in gratefully. The eggs were better than anything I'd ever made up, and he held my hand the entire time, refusing to let me go.

When I was done we watched a movie, the thunder and lightning flashing outside. The flowers whirled in the heavy winds, trees bending under the pressure. I was safe inside though, with Edward.

"You know, we still have forever for this honeymoon," he mused, his breath in my ear. I giggled, nodding.

I couldn't wait.

* * *

It was really funny watching you all flip out over the sneak preview. Sorry, but I got some good laughs from watching you all tear up and yell at me. Do you really think that I would ruin this whole story by doing something completely stupid? LOL. No, sometimes you just have to accept that the story is ending and deal. Which is what I've done :D

**Do you want a 2 part honeymoon? **I was planning on writing it, but if you change your mind I don't have to have it... (:

I like Jasper. I realized I never put a whole lot of him in there. I like him a lot :D

* * *

**[ SNEAK PEEK ] **

I looked at him, my heart pounding in my chest. Blood pumped through my veins, my words ringing out straight and true. I knew this moment was going to come, and now I was ready to face it head on.

Anything to be with him forever.

"Edward," I said, looking into his eyes, "I'm ready. Change me."

* * *

_Remember, if you review you will recieve an EXTENDED sneak peek!_


	34. Changes

Big thanks to my amazing beta, **Angels for Airwaves**.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to every. single. one of you!

**Disclaimer**: I am not Stephenie Meyer, so I do not own any Twilight characters.

**Just for anybody who didn't catch it last chapter. They've moved to Europe for the next few years, in an extremely secluded area. I don't know if Europe has lots of rain, or giant forests, but let's pretend okay? Muchas Gracias (:**

* * *

The storm refused to let up.

I was in the shower, lathering my hair in shampoo as I hummed to myself quietly. Edward was in the kitchen, no doubt cooking me breakfast. I let the warm water run down my back, untying the knots and soothing my skin.

When I stepped out, I wrapped a large fluffy towel around myself. It was hot in the house, and I already felt myself drying. I switched into some jeans and a t-shirt, wandering into the kitchen. Edward was sitting at the table, phone cradled between his shoulder and cheek. He smiled at me, standing to kiss me on the lips with the same tenderness he always gave me. I smiled, laying my head against his chest.

We'd talked. We knew the day was coming when I'd have to change, to become immortal. I wanted immortality with him, but the human emotions I was just now learning were captivating, and I didn't want to give them up. I loved him, and I loved being with him. I was afraid that after my change, nothing but bloodlust would control my every thought. I wanted to love him a little longer, to feel his lips against mine, his hands in my hair, before I gave it up for so long.

I'd have to allow it sometime soon, though.

"No," he said, pausing. He waited a moment, and I immediately recognized the voice on the other line. "Alice, honestly, no. I'm not going to tell you about that!" He waited another minute, laughing loudly. "Yes, I suppose."

I frowned at him, and he tapped my nose affectionately with a finger. He held the phone out to me, waving it in the air. I took it from him, wondering if I honestly wanted to talk or not.

"Hello?" I said quietly. I heard the familiar shriek of my best friend on the other line.

"Oh Bella!" She cried, her excitement pouring out of the phone and into me. I sighed, looking at the chocolate chip pancake batter with a longing expression. Edward laughed, standing up to make them for me. While he was sitting with his arms around me, I caught up with Alice. I laughed as I answered what she wanted to know. How Europe was, how the weather was, and if we'd been shopping. Some of her questions, however, made me very uncomfortable.

Especially since I knew Edward could hear every word she was saying.

"So how is he?" She asked. I heard Edward burst out in laughter, leaning against the counter as he watched me with curious eyes. I stuck my tongue out at him, my face heating up. I decided that I would answer her question – kind of.

"He's…great," I said, my voice shaking as I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want to use adjectives like amazing, outrageous, and indescribable, because those were just too tacky. Suddenly the phone was sliding out of my hands, Edward's voice cutting off his sister.

"She'll call you back."

I looked up at him, familiar warmth pooling under my cheeks. His eyes were burning into mine, a small smile on the corner of his lips.

He walked up to me slowly, reaching a hand out to touch my cheek with a cool finger. His face leant in to mine, my breath coming in short gasps as his cool breath washed over my face, stunning me.

"Are you sure," he whispered, his lips so close to my ear, "That I'm simply great?"

"P-Practice makes perfect," I suggested, my breath coming in short gasps. He smiled wickedly, meeting my lips for a deep kiss. Slowly, he backed away, flipping the pancakes as he hummed. I groaned – I honestly could have cared less about food for the moment, but my stomach had other ideas on when I should eat.

"I wouldn't want you have to be put through greatness," he said, smiling at me. He reached a hand out, encompassing mine. I wanted to scream in frustration. "Besides, you need your food."

I tried to lean up to kiss him, but he pulled back with a playful expression.

"Silly Bella," he murmured, running a hand through my hair. I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand. He patted my cheek softly, trying to make me focus. "Eat, love."

I obeyed, chatting with him as I ate. The thunder crashed loudly against the sky outside, causing me to jump. A streak of lightning lit the air, the trees bending under the force of the wind. I looked out the sliding glass door, seeing a stray rabbit leap its way across the small yard, desperate for cover.

After I was done, we walked into the living room. We'd been watching a lot of movies, although neither of us could honestly say we watched them. I would try to control my racing heart as Edward stroked my hair absently, whispering lines and humming softly. Sometimes the movies would lead to other entertainment factors, but I was content with just laying in Edward's arms.

"I like it out here," he said as the opening credits to the second movie started rolling. I nodded, but I looked up at him with curious eyes.

"I like it because I'm with you," he explained softly, pulling me against his chest. I laid my head against the crook of his neck, his words causing me to shiver. "I get to spend however long I want out here, simply having you in my arms in all of your beauty. You, Isabella Cullen, are _mine_."

I blushed as his lips met my own, moving slowly as his touch made me smile.

"I also like," he said, his voice like silk, "That I don't hear anybody's voice. There's absolutely no sound except your enchanting heartbeat and our voices. I haven't had silence before, and it's so _pure_. My thoughts are my own for once. It's strangely addicting."

I smiled, stroking his cheek with a hand. He kissed it, his lips going back to mine.

"Although I wish I could hear your thoughts, still," he added on. The happy couple on the screen walked through the park, the sounds of laughter ringing through the screen. I barely noticed it though. All I saw was Edward.

"You know," I whispered, my hands tangling in his hair. I pulled his face closer, my eyes meeting his. "There are ways…and you could practice…"

He smiled, sweeping me into his arms quickly. His lips met mine for a passionate kiss as he ran into our room.

Forget the movie. I wanted Edward.

* * *

"Say it," he said, laughing as I chucked a pillow at him. He shrugged, laying his head against my chest.

"I can't believe you won't forgive me for that," I said, "Like I was going to explain my personal affairs to your sister!"

He shrugged, hovering over me to kiss the hollow beneath my ear, causing me to shiver.

"Just say it," he suggested, "Just one word. Tell me how you really feel."

I blushed, but his eyes were serious on mine. I stroked his cheek, a soft smile playing on my lips. We'd been here for two weeks, simply reveling in each other's company. The storm refused to let up, coating the sky with a dark gloom. But with Edward lying next to me, his bare chest exposed as his eyes burned into mine, I didn't feel depressed.

I felt in love.

"Ecstasy," I said. He beamed like a child, kissing me passionately again. When he pulled away, leaving me breathless and wishing for more, he ran a finger down my arm. I turned to him reflexively, wishing that he would just _touch _me. But Edward was looking far too proud for that.

"Really?" He asked, smiling sheepishly. I blushed, nodding. He kissed me again, leaning his forehead against mine. He said the three little words I cherished more than anything, the thing that I took more happiness in than anything he could ever do. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you too," I said softly, blushing again. One of his fingers stroked my cheek, a concerned expression in his eyes. I lowered my eyes, refusing to meet his gaze as one of my worries spilt out. "I was just wondering if it was… _okay_ for you. I know I'm not like you, that I'm not strong, but-"

To my surprise, he laughed. He looked at me with an unfathomable expression.

"You think I'm not _enjoying_ myself?" He asked incredulously. I nodded. His lips traveled down my neck, planting butterfly kisses along my collar bone. His voice sent shivers down my spine, his words a mere whisper against my skin. "You are _so_ far from right on that one, love. This is the best experience of my existence."

He pulled me closer, kissing me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, reluctant to believe him. He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, one of his hands running down the length of my body. My eyes rolled back in my head a little, his hand resting on my waist.

"You are simply divine," he said softly, his eyes burning into mine, willing me to believe him. And it was hard not to, the way he looked at me. "I think I died a happy man the first time you said 'I love you'. I'm just shocked now, that you allow me, a demon, to touch you like this. To be with you. That you don't realize what I'm doing to you, how much you're giving up. That means more to me than any touch, any feel, even your beautiful reactions to me. Although I must say, those are spectacular too."

I blushed deeply. "Edward, I'm not giving anything up. I want this, and I want you. Forever."

I knew I was running out of time. I couldn't sit here, perfectly content forever. I could easily spend a lifetime in this small room, Edward's arms curled around me protectively, but I would get _old._ I would die, and if I had to give up a year of my life to get him, I would do it in a heartbeat.

"Edward," I whispered, "Kiss me."

His lips crashed against mine, molding together as my hands tangled in his hair. One of his hands reached around me, pulling me closer to him. His other hand reached up, tangling in my hair as I moaned.

Somehow, in the middle of all of the lust and passion, his kisses became less urgent. He took his time, murmuring about how beautiful I was.

I couldn't believe how elated I was, how happy he made me. The three days of pain seemed like nothing now, and I realized that I wanted this. I wanted these feelings that I was experiencing, and I wanted him. Forever.

I was willing to take the year of bloodlust, the lifetime of denying what I wanted most – thirst, to spend eternity with him. I knew I would be strong enough, that I could do this.

I looked at him, my heart pounding in my chest. Blood pumped through my veins, my words ringing out straight and true. I knew this moment was going to come, and now I was ready to face it head on.

Anything to be with him forever.

"Edward," I said, looking into his eyes, "I'm ready. Change me."

He didn't say anything else, for nothing more needed to be said. He didn't ask I was sure, or if I truly wanted this. We both knew the answer.

He kissed me, his hands tangling in my hair with the same gentle care that he always showed. I kissed him back, mesmerizing his every feature, every expression, every scent that poured off him like rain. His cool lips traveled down my neck, placing butterfly kisses along my collar bone.

He bent down, laying his head against my chest to listen to my heartbeat for the last time. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I was sure that he was telling himself that he _was_ strong enough for this, strong enough not to kill me. His hands pressed gently against my neck, feeling the pulse running through my veins. He kissed me softly again, molding his lips with mine.

"I love you," he whispered. I nodded, offering him a small smile.

"I love you, too."

He bent his lips down, his lips pressing against my wrist. He closed his eyes, shaking.

Then he bit me.

The soft sound of skin tearing pierced the air. His eyes blazed, his body shaking as he fought against his instincts. He closed his eyes, his lips traveling to my neck.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, tortured, as I felt the flesh tear. I let out a whimper, closing my eyes.

"Go, Edward," I commanded him through gritted teeth. He obeyed, his lips piercing the skin on my shoulder.

At first I didn't realize it was coming. I felt warmth, almost like a blanket surrounding me. I closed my eyes, my mind traveling to the future. But within moments, the hard reality had set in.

Agony.

It felt as though my insides were being torn, ripped to shreds, burned, and kicked. I let out a cry, my eyes closing as my lungs let out a metallic screech I'd never heard come from me before in my life. Another bite, another stab. I screamed, writhing under his shaking body.

I would have cried, would have screamed and kicked and thrashed, but while my eyes were rolling around the room, they landed on Edward's beautiful face. He was stroking my hand, his head down as his shoulders shook. I couldn't let him blame himself for this.

I would just have to suffer as best as I could.

-- [ These will be in extreme present tense. That is just how I felt I should write it ]

_Hour One:_

Pain.

I want to die. I want to know if there is some God out there, and I want to get angry with him. Why is he putting me through this? I want somebody to come, end the pain. I need it to go away, I need it to stop. I will gladly face death if it means getting away from here, away from the pain and Edward's sobs.

He'd promised me not to blame himself. He swore to me that he would do what he had to do so we could be with each other forever. Why did I have to suffer so much? Why did this have to hurt?

I can't help but whimper and thrash on the bed. It's not something I can easily control.

When God? When am I going to be free?

_Hour Six: _

I feel like I'm being smothered.

I can't breathe. I can't speak. I can't move, bend, or think. The only thing I know is that I want it to be over. When is it going to end?

_Hour Twelve:_

I've gotten to the point where I can control my movements. Edward's hand hasn't left mine, squeezing it gently every third breath. I feel like I'm scaring him by not crying out, not screaming for help, begging for death like I have been for so long.

"Bella, love," he whispers, so soft but so clear, "Please. If you can open your eyes. _Please."_

Sorry Edward. My pleas would scare you much, much worse than silence.

_Hour Twenty:_

Edward's voice is so soothing. He's stopped sobbing, which I feel more than grateful for. I missed hearing his voice. I didn't know how I thought it was beautiful before. Now it was simply _divine_.

He's told me dozens of stories about his time in Chicago. I learned so much about his human life. I felt like a child, lying there.

Except for the pain.

Hour Twenty-four:

One day. I can't open my eyes, even though I want to. But Edward's telling me it's been twenty four hours.

Forty-eight to go.

_Hour Twenty-nine:_

Fire is running through me. I know it, I feel it. I feel like I'm burning. Am I burning, Edward? Am I still alive, somehow?

Please, God. Make him speak. Make his voice soothe me, quench the thirst of the angry flames.

Please, make it end.

_Hour Thirty-four:_

The phone rings. Frantic screeching as a song blares. I want it to quiet down, although I know it's Alice on the other line.

Edward doesn't move, and I breathe a sigh of relief. With my sigh comes a shriek of agony and despair.

_Sorry love, so sorry. _

His apologies hurt worse than the pain. I close my eyes, vowing not to open my mouth again as the pain rips me apart.

_Hour Thirty-nine:_

It feels worse, somehow. My legs want to rip to shreds. I hear tearing. Oh God, am I dying?

No. Edward's telling me I'm not dead. His voice is so lovely. Had I spoken? I don't think I had. I want to though, so badly. Momentary distractions as his voice whispers in my ear. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry_. No Edward, don't be sorry. Somehow, I wanted this.

I remember now, it was for him. It was to stay with him. Forever.

Another rip of pain, and the fire picks up speed.

_Hour Forty-Eight:_

Finally. It's been two days. I'm not sure how much more I can take, but Edward doesn't seem to run out of things to say to me. His voice numbs me, blocking out a fraction of the pain.

Not enough, though. I'm saying silent prayers, hoping, somehow, that I can be an unusual case. I want to be special now, to be blessed.

I don't want this pain.

_Hour Fifty-three:_

It feels like it's been weeks, years, centuries. The pain is limitless, filling every part of my body. I'm a victim, and I have no escape plan in mind.

Unlike at the wedding, I'm not pleased by this. I don't get to kiss Edward, make love, or speak in hushed conversations. I get to feel agony. Sheer torture.

_Hour Sixty: _

Nothing can calm me except for Edward. My heart is pounding, adding to the pain. My chest is sensitive, and my frantic heart is trying to fight its way out from my ribs.

Please behave, and stay. Please make this easy.

Although that would make things too simple, wouldn't it?

The fire burns on.

_Hour Sixty-Five: _

Edward is quiet. All I want is for him to speak.

Tell me this is worth it, Edward. Tell me I'm doing the right thing.

He lips are at my ear, kissing my hair.

"You're beautiful," he whispers, and I can imagine his smile. I want to see it. I want to feel it with my fingertips. But my fingers won't obey, and I will not risk opening my mouth. "You're always beautiful."

So I opt for a silent thought.

I love you Edward.

_Hour Seventy-one: _

My heart _burns_! I feel nothing in my fingertips, wrist, and legs. They feel perfectly fine, strong even, but I don't want to move them.

But the pain in my heart – it feels worse than anything I'd ever imagined. I thought the fire in my entire body was bad, but it felt as if it had known I was getting stronger, so the pain moved straight for the source. My heart.

I've never imagined anything so powerful. I can't think, only squeeze my mouth tightly shut. I want to scream.

It's pounding now, thumping against my chest so hard. I force myself to lie still, listening to it as it gallops towards its final seconds. I feel like I'm shaking.

It jerks, and my chest goes high into the air. I land in Edward's arms as he slides me onto the table, and I hear the hitch in his breath as we both wait in silence.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump-thump.

My heart lurches. I feel my body rip from the table, my chest soaring into the air as land on the table with a crash.

My heart pounds once more, but the sound is empty and hallow. A feeling like pity fills my body as I listen to its echo resonating in my ears, swirling around my mind.

The pain was gone, yet I felt _alive_, somehow. I thought I had been dying, that all of the pain was the end. Curiosity ran through me, almost like the fire that had terrorized me for so long. I wanted to see everything, to hear everything, to learn, to live, and to love.

So I opened my eyes.

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**an/** sorry, couldnt help but update today. you guys have been so great. just wanted to let you know that yes, this was the last full chapter. dont worry, the epilogue is going to be so completely worth it, at least i think so (:

I will not be sending a sneak, since I have the next part completely written and I will be updating it tomorrow. Please review (:


	35. Forever

mega million thanks to my amazing beta, **angels for airwaves** :D

**disclaimer:** I am not Stephenie, so I own nothing.

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Everything was so _clear_. I looked up at the ceiling, watching in awe as the flecks of dust danced across my vision. The beauty, the complete clarity of it all was so stunning that I couldn't help but gasp. My thoughts were wandering, watching the air and studying the panels of wood. Across the room the dresser shone, the light of the setting sun reflecting off of it. Light danced around, creating a perfect rainbow in the air. Everything was so beautiful, so stunningly brilliant.

Before I had a chance to think, my eyes swirled around the room. The dust danced across my vision, my gaze landing on the most stunning face I'd ever seen in my life.

And I thought Edward was beautiful _before_. I might as well have been blind.

He smiled at me, the crooked grin flashing across his face. I reached out a hand, my fingers tracing it in wonder. His eyes looked guarded, for some unexplained purpose, but he kissed my fingers. His lips no longer felt cold, they felt… wonderful.

I felt my face light up in an involuntary smile as I leaned forward. My eyes never left his as I bent in, pressing my lips against his in curiosity.

His response was much more than I expected. Before, I'd had no chance to kiss him the way I wanted. But now, with my safety out of the way, he held no boundaries. I felt myself shiver, a moan escaping me as his hand wrapped around my back, pulling me against him. I pulled away, panting, but my hands tangled in his hair. I never wanted to let him go. He smiled, leaning in to kiss me passionately again.

I waited for the usual reactions – my heart race, the flush of my cheeks, the way his skin felt so cold on mine.

I felt none of them, except for shortness of breath.

His scent, his touch, his face… they were all magnified. It was better than anything I'd ever seen, better than anything I'd ever imagined.

After a few minutes he pulled away, his eyes shining. I smiled at him, tracing his face. I tried not to be distracted as I looked into his eyes, saying the one thing I needed to.

"I love you," I said. He grinned, brushing his fingers along my cheek.

"As I love you," he said simply, wrapping me in for another kiss. I frowned at him.

"You've been holding out on me," I accused, poking his chest with a finger. He shrugged, accepting it.

"Isn't it worth it now, though?" He asked, his breath in my ear. I waited once more for the heart racing, chest tugging feeling that I'd been expecting for so long, but it didn't come. I only shivered, nodding as my breath caught. He pulled away, looking at me with apologetic eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he said, "You must be so thirsty."

As he spoke, his words sinking in and registering much faster than my old mind could have handled, my throat burned with his words. My eyes flashed open, my body spinning wildly around the room as I searched for what I knew I wanted.

His hand on my shoulder, pressing down against me roughly, was the only thing that kept me from dashing into the woods.

"Listen to me," he commanded. His voice was distracting, and my mind was tearing about every sound, every syllable that came out of his perfectly formed lips. "You are like me now, love. You can't be hasty."

"Don't let me do anything bad," I whispered. He nodded, gripping his hand tightly around mine. He led me outside, and immediately the scent of rain washed over me. It had stopped, the sky dark and cloudy. I saw the raindrops glistening on the trees, casting small shadows as they sparkled.

"Let the instincts control you," he instructed. I obeyed, my body shifting into a crouch. I felt the burn in my throat. It was strong, and it wanted to be satisfied.

He raced with me through the forest. I leapt through the air, amazed that I felt no fear or repulsion as I tackled a deer to the ground. I drained it, along with three more, my teeth sinking into its flesh. Edward waited for me to finish, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I didn't try to run after humans.

I was shocked that I didn't want to kill any humans. I wanted to drink their blood, but I remembered Tanya, who was so willing to destroy my life to further her own, and that reminded me how fragile humans were.

"Try this," Edward said as I stood on a rock. He tossed a stone at me, flexing his hand in demonstration. I obeyed, the rock turning to dust in my hand. I looked up at him, grinning as I did it again. He leant against a tree, watching me with amused eyes as I danced around.

"I can't believe how normal you are," he said quietly. I snapped up at him, hurt overpowering me. He walked up to me, snaking his arms around my waist in reassurance. "No, Bella, love. Most newborns are so… overwhelmed with bloodlust. I'm just shocked that you're still so _you_."

"Am I not supposed to be?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He smiled, my breath catching as the white of his teeth shone.

"I honestly don't know," he admitted, "But I'm glad you're happy."

"Of course I'm happy," I said, "I have you, the most beautiful man in the world, to call my husband. I don't see how anything gets better than that."

He kissed me again, and this time we had no restraints to keep us back. I curled into him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I breathed him in.

"Do you want to see what you look like?" He asked between kisses, trying to distract me. I shook my head, bringing our lips together again as he pressed me closer.

"No, I want _you_."

He shivered at my words, but his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"You're not supposed to," he said, bewildered, "You're supposed to want blood. You're not supposed to be so _rational_."

I went to pull away, but his arms kept our bodies touching.

"Let me see my reflection then," I suggested, waving my hands in the air, "Let's get this freak out over with then, shall we?"

He kissed my cheek, shaking his head. His eyes were glistening, light and mesmerizing. I noticed the slightest flecks of red, from when he'd bitten me, but it was already masked by his years of vegetarian diet. I was aware of how close our bodies were, the only thing standing in our way was my light blue dress and his khakis and button down shirt.

"I'll call Carlisle," he suggested, kissing my lips again. I couldn't do anything but respond to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "He has to have an explanation for this."

"Call him later," I suggested, "We have forever, you know."

He paused for a moment, his eyes looking at my lips. I was curious as to what I looked like, what he was seeing, but in the moment where his eyes shifted from my lips to my eyes, he'd made up his mind.

"We'll call later."

**Three Years Later **

"Bella, love," Edward said, wrapping his arms around my waist. I backed into the trees, away from the busy street. "Bella, you can do this."

"Yea," Alice chirped from beside me, "You're going to do just fine."

We'd been gradually bringing me to interact with people for so long, but last time hadn't gone well. There was a group of teenagers that had walked out from the side of a building, their scent washing over me. I'd barely been able to control myself, turning to run at the last second.

"I want to, but I'm scared," I whispered. Edward kissed my cheek softly, lingering there as I closed my eyes.

"Bella, I will not let anything happen," he promised me. I nodded, taking a tentative step into the street.

Alice and Jasper were visiting us, having come to surprise us for a few days with pictures of Annabel. She was getting so beautiful. She was five, and in half of her pictures she was giving the camera a brilliant smile. I was happy that she still had her beautiful eyes and the dark hair.

Carina and Aiden sent us pictures regularly, and in return Edward sent weekly checks. We had more than enough money to get buy, but he painted with me every once and a while. There was an art show every Saturday downtown, in which you could sell small portraits for large amounts of money, if you made something beautiful.

It was enough money to pay for Annabel's checks, to say the least. I was sad at first when I found out that she was beginning to remember things about her day, but nothing about me. I was happy with knowing that I was there for her when she needed me though.

"You know," Alice mused as I took a deep breath. The familiar pain of my throat burning almost sent me into a frenzy, but I pushed it down with a force strong enough to knock down any human. "Jasper was thinking of a second honeymoon. Carlisle and Esme are upset we'll be gone for a few months, but then again, they can't really stop us. Maybe we'll come to live with you for a while."

Edward laughed, listening to her thoughts. I concentrated on the air, familiarizing myself with the scent. I was definitely making good progress. Carlisle said the reason I had been able to act so human the first day was because I had no scent besides Edward near me, and I'd been familiar with him for so long that it didn't worry me.

"That might not be a good idea sis," Edward said, his head on my shoulder as I closed my eyes, "Bella and I are still in the honeymoon phase. Maybe in about twenty years."

If I could have, I would have blushed, but my body didn't betray me that way anymore. So I shrugged, squeezing my eyelids tighter against each other as another wave of blood washed over me.

"Well," Alice said thoughtfully, "Maybe we'll just buy a little house. We'll make it the honeymoon house."

I shrugged off her comment. Their little chit-chat was simply a distraction. Edward and I had been working at this for a very long time, trying to convince me to maybe join a school. We were going to move back with the rest of the family when I could fully deal with the bloodlust, but until then we were both more than happy with having years to ourselves.

When I'd worked enough for the day, Alice and Edward followed me back to our small house. It was perfectly tidy, the six tiny rooms cleaned to perfection.

It was amusing that we only really used three rooms in the house. The kitchen, bathroom, and spare room weren't really used too much. The bedroom, living room and patio were the only things in the entire house that honestly had any use for either of us.

I smiled, thinking about my past few years with Edward. Now that I was less breakable, every touch, every kiss was less guarded. I finally got to be with him, both sides equal. He didn't have to worry about harming me when his hand caressed my face, or when his fingers danced along my stomach. I was finally able to know that what I was doing was right. That he honestly loved me.

The eyes had been hard to deal with at first, but after a year or so of dieting, they'd completely disappeared. The terrifying image of my eyes blazing red was enough to commit me to never feeding off of a human.

My physical image scared me at first, too. I had grown an inch, but not so much that Edward still couldn't rest his head on mine. My hair was longer and held a glow, my eyes were almost perfect, and my lips were fuller. All it took was Edward's words in my ear, telling me that I was always beautiful, and that he didn't mind the changes, to force a giggle out of me and erase all of my worries.

I wasn't sure if it was because of the change in my appearance, or the fact that I was no longer breakable, but Edward found it hard to keep his hands off of me. When we'd discovered my power, the ability to allow people into my mind as well as keeping them out, well, it had been even harder.

Not that I minded in the least. Sometimes, after we painted a picture, Edward would take my hands and beg me to show him what I was thinking. It only took him seconds to kiss me, so elated that he finally had an insight to my mind.

Jasper was sitting on the couch in the living room, having stayed behind. He said he was tired, mentally, of course, and he spent the few hours alone in silence. Alice skipped into his arms, showering him with kisses. He grinned, kissing her back with a passion.

"I see why you need your own honeymoon," I hinted as Jasper grinned. Alice leant her head on his chest, giving me a smug smile.

"Told you."

Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me from behind.

"Love," he whispered, causing me to shiver, "Let's get out of here."

I nodded, a victim to his touch as his hand laced itself with mine. I followed him, racing through the forest as the leaves whirled soundlessly behind us. He took us to our spot, a small meadow with roses blooming. It was the middle of summer, and the red flowers somehow lingered there, brightening the area. It wasn't raining today, something I was thankful for, and he laid down on the ground next to me.

He rolled over so he was hovering over me. His fingers traced my face, mesmerizing every feature with worshipping tenderness. They ran over my nose, under my eyes, running from my cheek to my ear. I closed my eyes, his silk touch making me a victim once again.

"You're so beautiful," Edward murmured. I opened my eyes, and he was right there, his face painfully close. His cool breath washed over me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Your long, luscious hair, your beautiful eyes, your delicate ivory skin… I can never get over how simply _irresistible_ you are."

He brought his lips to mine, his hands delicately framing my face. Tears that would never fall welled up in the corner of my eyes, and I kissed him back, trying to convey every emotion that I was feeling.

"I love you," I said, although I would never be able to say it enough. "I'll always love you."

"I love you too," he whispered, kissing my eyelids, "Thank you for being _mine_."

All the pain, all of the sorrow I'd went through in my past life. None of it mattered anymore. I had accepted everything I had to, gotten over every obstacle and every torture, with Edward by my side. He was my strength, my rock, and my entire heart. I would always love him.

_Forever._

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**wow. let me just say that -tear- thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I LOVE YOU ALL SO STINKIN MUCH! remember to let me know what you think of it all, and look for the next chapter of 'you spoke the world'**

**ps. did anybody else notice anything with fanfic not responding? i was soo mad!**

**I LOVE YOU !**


	36. UPDATES!

Hello Darlings. Hope you liked the story! Big thank you for all of your support! I've gotten nothing but great reviews for it, and it REALLY means a lot to me. Sticking through with me was a big deal, you have no idea. But there isn't a sequel anymore. I had drawn it out and dwindled it, and it was just really really sad.

If you liked this, check out my two new stories:

**Remember This:** Bella's a normal twenty year old girl, except for the abuse. When she wanders the streets of a ritzy neighborhood, she is found by Mike Newton, Edward Cullen's personal chauffer. With Alice's meddling, Bella is forced to move in with him. The only problem is that Bella suffers amnesia, and wakes up without memory multiple days a week, not to mention Edward's obvious annoyance with the middle class girl. With Bella's pain, Edward must find a way to accept his own past and find love with the only girl who may never truly remember him.

**How Far We've Come:** The world is dying. For Edward and his family of vampires, this news doesn't matter much for them. The humans would die, but animals would adapt. But the humans have a plan: a new, top secret, extremely selective colony on Mars. When Carlisle and his family are chosen to go, they take the chance to help the fragile humans and keep them healthy. What Edward wasnt expecting was Bella Swan. She wasn't chosen, but somehow she's trying to board her way to safety. Having her there risks the entire human race, and yet he can't turn her in and have a hand in killing her. Living in a new world and adapting to her father's death would be hard enough, but when you throw in a multitude of secrets, things are bound to fall sometime. And when they did, civilization was sure to end with a bang.


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